HitchHikers' Guide to: Nuclear Fallout
by comedianmasta
Summary: not exactly a Fallout FF, it's an orriginal work of mine. It's humorous, riddled in inside jokes, overreacted personalities, and humorous topics.Nathan Flint arrives at Washington D.C., and gets a good friend on an adventure.
1. Prologue

Walking. Is that all we do? Walk, now a days? I mean, sure… It's great for exercise, but why didn't we just stay home? Why screw everything up? Why… end up here? In a wasteland of a former wasteland? Why are we here? I think it's better to start at the beginning… of it all.

**Hitch-Hikers' Guide To:**

**Nuclear Fallout**

The new millennium, the Nuclear Age. Fall of communism, rise of terrorism. It's the west against the Middle-East. Iran struggles for Nuclear power despite massive pressure from the UN. Everyone is bent on oil, depression, market crash, joblessness.

While the world has its back turned, North Korea finishes its nuclear program. With three, fully working, nuclear missiles it threatens the end to its "enemies". The UN ignites with panic and anger. Pressure on North Korea increases, and the United States prepares for war, the UN backing it up. Even China put pressure on North Korea.

But it was too late. With this new distraction, Iran finishes its nuclear goals, and fires two nuclear missiles. One at Israel, devastating Israeli moral. The second was at the United States. The effect was heard world wide as Boston disappeared in a massive explosion. But we only wished it was the end of it.

The US defensive system, still not reprogrammed, retaliated with its own missile barrage, at its old targets in Moscow. Moscow's automatic systems, also not reprogrammed yet, retaliate with its own barrage. Now the world burns in the flames of mistakes. Countries panic, missiles are launched, bombs are dropped, bullets are fired.

But it's not enough… for salvation.

The Internet was originally designed as a failsafe, post-fallout communications system. After the dust had settled, small bands of colonies eventually evolved to use what was left so they could communicate. Now with the internet reworked, and the WWBC (World Wide Broadcasting Center) is established, life takes a sense of normalcy. The world interacts, talking and sharing ideas on how to survive in this post-war state of hell.

And for a year, the world returns to normal. Slowly dying… slowly living… slowly rebuilding. And the colonies are connected, and yet separate.

And never before, had they met.

Until…

Nate coughed into the cover of his face, and he looked at the small town that was lit up in the night. He adjusted his rifle in his arm, and he adjusted his goggles. He had been walking for a while; he couldn't believe that he had stumbled upon a place such as this. He smiled, slightly, and looked around for a way down to the colony. He'd probably get there by morning, when they could clearly see him from a while away. He didn't want to get shot like that. Not when he was so low on water and was hungry as hell. Maybe he'd find a roach before he made it down there.

Roaches were good eatin'.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

First dawn had been over for an hour, but the guard's eyes were still adjusting. Shatner had joined the wall guards in order to get some fresh air. He stared off out of the walls, smiling. His hunting rifle was slung to the side. There was never really anything to watch anyway.

"Hey, dude," said the guard next to him.

"Yeah?" answered Shatner.

"I think I see something," said the guard.

"It's probably nothing," said Shatner, "It's a little after dawn, the changing lighting and all. Odds are you're just seeing things."

"Now the guy is waving at me," said the guard.

"What?" asked Shatner, "What guy?"

"The guy I'm probably not seeing," said the guard.

"What?" said Shatner, turning around and looking at where the other guard was pointing.

"That guy, you said he wasn't real," said the guard, "And now he's kinda waving, and holding his weapon in the air."

Shatner blinked, he could see it as well. A figure, dressed in ratty clothes approaching from far off. Well, who wasn't in ratty clothes these days, but that wasn't the point. No one should be out this far, no one. Not here. Or could they?

"Uh, open the gates, but only for a second," said Shatner, "I'll deal with this."

Shatner went to get down from the wall, treading past some of the others to try and make it downward. He climbed down a ladder that was nearby, and rushed to the door which was slowly opening. When he rounded the corner and started walking outside the gate, he raised his rifle and put the scope on the intruder.

The intruder wore ratty clothes, yes. That was re-established. He also had his face covered with some sort of bandana, and he wore tinted, dirty goggles. He did hold some sort of rifle, one Shatner didn't recognize at first glance.

"Ok," yelled Shatner, "That's far enough. I want your hands in the air, and your gun on the ground,"

The stranger's head tilted, his eyebrow raising above the other one.

"What?" asked the stranger.

"Hands in the air, weapon on the ground!" yelled Shatner.

"Hell no," said the stranger, still keeping his gun above his head, "I'm not going to throw this on the ground."

"Wait…. What?" said Shatner, "Yes you are, you don't get a choice."

"Yes, I do," said the Stranger, "This is MY gun, so I'm not throwing it on the ground."

"Yes, you are, I want it on the ground NOW," yelled Shatner.

"Well, that's great," said the stranger, "That doesn't mean it's going to happen."

"Throw it on the GROUND!" yelled Shatner, "I will shoot you in the face!"

"No you won't," said the stranger, you have no idea, and if you were going to shoot me you would've done that a while ago."

"I'm pointing a gun to your head," said Shatner, "How do you know I won't shoot you?"  
The stranger made a head movement which suggested he rolled his eyes, and he brought his rifle to bear, pointing it at Shatner. Shatner's eyes widened and he ducked down a little, pacing back and forth with his rifle pointing at the intruder.

"Woah" exclaimed Shatner, aiming his rifle more up to bear, "No, no!"

"There, now I'M pointing a gun at YOU," said the Stranger, "Does that mean I'm going to shoot you?"

"Just… drop the gun, man," said Shatner, "I do NOT want to shoot you!"

"I already told you, I will not drop my rifle. I come in peace," said the stranger.

"Yeah, like some sort of alien, I believe that," said Shatner, "Just…. DROP IT!"

The stranger hesitated, and then he lowered his gun, staring at Shatner. He tilted his head a little, and his face twisted into a questioning look.

"Sh-Shatner?" questioned the stranger.

Shatner's eyes widened again, before slitting, and he pushed the safety off the rifle.

"What?" Asked Shatner.

'Shatner?" asked the Stranger again, louder.

"H-How… Who's asking?" said Shatner, beginning to get angry.

"Shatnerpossum?" asked the Stranger again.

"Yeah…" said Shatner, lowering his gun a little, "That's my…. That's my SN."

"Oh my gosh, you're Shatnerpossum!" said the Stranger, "I'm in D.C!! I'm in frickin' DC!"

"Yeah…" said Shatner, "How do you know me? How did you… find me?"

"It's me!" said the stranger, and he removed his bandana mask and lifted up his goggles, revealing a dirty, scraggly haired face. He smiled, holding out is hands in a "Ta-Da" gesture. Shatner just starred on, still confused.

"It's the Master," said the Stranger, "The… Mastah!"

Shatner lowered his gun, and the confused face slowly disappeared until a look of surprise spread across his face.

"Oh… my god," said Shatner, "Comedianmasta? You… you're here?"

"Yeah, dude!" said the stranger, and he rushed forward to give Shatner a hug.

Shatner tried to jump backward, but Comedianmasta's embrace found him and held him for a few second before he let go. Shatner allowed a small smile to stretch across his face, before he shook his head and tried to speak again.

"What…. What are you doing here?" he asked, "I was wondering what was up, you haven't been online in weeks. We thought something had happened."

"Something DID happen," said Comedianmasta.

"Oh… I'm so sorry," said Shatner, "Um… come, come in!"

Shatner lead comedianmasta into the camp, through the front doors. Once inside he signaled for them to shut the gate, and he walked on. It was truly the ruins of Washington D.C. Certain monuments still stood, but others were long gone. Many statues and other monuments had been placed in towers and on the wall that seemed to surround the entirety of the camp. The Whitehouse no longer stood, as rubble filled the area. The Washington Monument had been devastated, but for the most part it still stood.

Camps and tents had been erected every which way, and many shacks had been built, many more in the process of being built. There didn't appear to be many people left, but many could've been inside tents and shacks that comedianmasta couldn't see.

"So," said Shatner, continue to walk through the camp, "Comedian, what exactly-"

"Nate," said comedianmasta.

Shatner looked up, and gave a confused stare at comedianmasta.

"My name," said comedianmasta, "It's Nate. Nathaniel Flint. But please… call me Nate."

"Alright then, Nate," said Shatner.

"And you?" asked Nate.

"Shatner works," said Shatner, "My real name is Brom Shatner. But… please. Only real close friends call me Brom."

"Alright, Shatner," said Nate, "So… what's the possum for?"

"What?" asked Shatner.

"You know," said Nate, "Shatnerpossum…"

"Oh… uh… it's personal," said Shatner, "You know, a little nickname from my mother, look can you not ask?"

"Ok… Shatner." Said Nate, smiling a little, "I didn't think…. It would be like this down here," said Nate.

"You'd be surprised how many people are dumb enough to flock to their nation's capitol at times of crisis," said Shatner, "Many of these people are looking for hope, answers, and power… none of them will ever find it."

"Oh, you shouldn't say that," said Nate.

"So, can we get you anything?" said Shatner.

"A Mountain Dew would be supreme," said Nate, "A Pizza with Pepperoni. Hell, a damn Pizza would be good."

"Ha, how about some water and some soup?" said Shatner.

"Damn…" said Nate.

Walking by a soup-kitchen-like place, Shatner reached in, and nodded. A man gave him a bowl of soup, and someone else threw him a bottle of water. Shatner handed these over to Nate, who grabbed them greedily.

"No line waiting?" asked Nate, staring at the line of hungry colonials.

"I… I've done a lot; it's a perk," said Shatner, "Kind of like a… celebrity here. I'm the one who hooked us up with the network."

Shatner pointed to one of the antennas in the distance, and he smiled to himself. Nate nodded slowly, and followed Shatner through the colony.

Shatner lead Nate to the opening of the Lincoln Memorial, where it had been turned into some sort of tool-holding center. They walked down into a side passage, to the elevator.

"We could've taken the stairs," said Nate.

"No where we're going," said Shatner, and he pressed three buttons at a time when the doors had shut.

The Elevator, instead of going up, went downwards, into the bowls of DC. When they reached the bottom, Nate had finished his soup, and Shatner took it. As the doors opened, they revealed a whole different atmosphere. It was an entire underground network of cables and people.

"This," said Shatner, placing a bowl off to the side, "Is the Network. Now all of it is, a lot of this area consists of Trauma Hospitals and Intensive cares as well as sterile environments for child birth, but we also have our… 'Government' down here and, of course, the Network."

The World Wide Broadcasting Center… the Network. Nate knew it well, and he followed Shatner to his terminal. It was just a series of screens and a few webcams and a microphone and keyboard attached to a swivel chair.

"Wow… never thought I'd be on this side of the screen," said Nate.

"I want everyone to know you're ok. Again, you've been out of it for a while," said Shatner, sitting down and booting up the system.

"You guys really care?" asked Nate, taking a sip of his water.

"I want to know what happened, but so will everyone else," said Shatner, "I hope you don't mind."

"No… this might be cool," said Nate.

The screen booted up, and Shatner looked for a room, and found it. He immediately sent off a request, and waited for a bit. A young man entered the room, with some files in his hands.

"Hey, Shatner," he said, "I got some of those Documents you were looking for."

"Hey, Bailey," said Shatner, "Guess who?"

The man came back, looked at nate for a second, then lit up and smiled.

"Holy crap, Comedianmasta!" said the man, coming inside.

Nate immediately recognized the man as well, and he lit up and shook his hand.

"Pandora? Is that you? Oh… GOD!!!" said Nate.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" asked Pandora.

"I… you're about to hear I guess," said Nate, "I thought you were in North Carolina?"

"Yeah, for like a week. Don't you remember? I moved up here with my family so we could actually survive, haha," said Pandora.

"Nice, and you look well, that's good," said Nate.  
"Alright, I found him," said Shatner.

Nate turned back to see someone had entered the chat-room. The name appeared as "Zurom", and beside it a screen opened up, revealing a man in about is early twenties with glasses in a room with wires and servers and food littering his desk and the background.

"What, can I help you with?" asked Zurom, to Shatner, "I'm a little busy with working on rebuilding a server I found in the office in the next city over. After this, there's no need for me to leave again. People can deal with their own problems after this."

"Zurom, we need to get everyone together. Guess who's with me?" said Shatner.

Zurom's eyes slit for a second, and he leaned forward on the screen. Then his eyes widened and he smiled.

"Hey, Comediiaaan," he said, half waving, "I was wondering what happened with you.

Shatner through his hand's in the air with a look of confusion and Nate smiled, greeting Zurom back.

"Am I the only one who didn't recognize him on site?" asked Shatner.

"Yeah, dude," said Nate, laughing a little, "Get more on the ball…"

"Alright, let's get them together," said Shatner.

"Alright, lucky for you the majority is on," said Zurom, "One second…"

In a few seconds, the room was alive with names of people entering and webcams turning on. Nate smiled a bit, recognizing some of the names. Eonmokri, fkeuitan, and 89fred were some of the firsts to enter. Greetings and things of shouts of glee spread from one to the other. Shatner tried to get it quiet, but with no hope for several minutes. Finally everyone settled down enough for Shatner to speak.

"Alright, hi everyone. We don't have this often," said Shatner, "But it's important. I think there's something we should all know."

"Hey, is that comedian in the background?" asked fkeuitan in his deeper, welsh accent.

"Oh my God," echoed eonmokri, "Is that comedian? Hey Comedian!"

Nate waved from the back of the room, while Shatner shook his head.

"Am I the only one who didn't recognize him right off?" asked Shatner.

"Maybe you're just blind," said Nate, "As a possum…"

"Wow… really? That's what you went with?" asked Shatner with sarcasm, "That's not even accurate!"

"So what's the deal?" asked 89fred, "Why do you have comedian over there? Are we all going to DC now? Why didn't I know?"

"Look, Na…. uh… Comedian is here because something happened," said Shatner, "I don't know yet but I was hoping he'd tell us."

"Uh… yeah, I don't know…" said Nate, rubbing his neck.

"Come on, Comedian!" said eonmokri in a German accent, "Why would you go all the way to D.C.? What happened to your colony? The Major? Sheila? Max?"

After a little more urging, Nate raised his hands to silence them, and he nodded his head.

"All-right… all-right," said Nate, "You want to know? You really want to know? I'll tell ya."

Nate shifted his feet a little before beginning, and he rubbed the gruff on his chin and neck that had grown from years of being un-kept. He cleared is throat, before staring directly into the camera and beginning his story.

"Well… uh… as you guys know I was up in the colony in New Hampshire for a bit. Stayed closer to home, with whoever I could find," began Nate, "And… uh… well… then I disappeared. Well… They're no longer with us."

There was nodding and the like from some of the people. Shatner tried to offer some words of comfort, but Nate continued.

"Some raiders, they attacked in the night. We really didn't stand much of a chance," he continued, "Max was the first to go. He wasn't even sleeping. He got up to pee… was shot. We tried to fight… tried to escape. Only Jamie and I made it out. She… died a few hours later. Her wounds were too great, and Doc just… wasn't there."

"I am so sorry for your losses," said eonmokri, "That must've been terrible."

"What did they want?" asked fkeuitan.

"To be honest. I don't know. They took some gas, destroyed the place, and had some food while I was gone, I returned in the night of the next day… they did however, Kevin, take with them a lot of our weapons. I was left with only a few… the few that had ammunition left," continued Nate.

"So what made you come here?" asked Zurom, "To Shatner's place?"

"To be totally honest," said Nate, "I had no idea he was here. I didn't know I was in D.C. I just kind of… stumbled upon it. I was in many different places, actually. Hearing many strange things. We'd be surprised at who is still out there."

"Well, maybe we don't need to know more," said Shatner, "You've had it rough. You're always welcome here. We can always use a working hand. We'll set up your old account here and get you rolling again."

"You are always welcome here," said eonmokri.

"Thanks, but Germany is a little far," said Nate, "I think I'll crash here for tonight."

"Well… that's a shame about all that," said Zurom, "Reports and rumors say they're getting stronger, getting faster, and getting more advanced. I have many reports of several raider groups becoming quite a major power in our world as it is. It can only be a matter of time before they log into our network and make themselves known. I mean, who's here to stop them?"

"Well… it's not the raiders I'm afraid of," said Nate.

"Now, let's all not worry," said Shatner, "There haven't been many raider sightings in America. They're more like gangs. The New Hampshire colony must have been a fluke."

"Hey," started Nate.

"Most American raiders break up from internal struggles or they see a bustling colonization as a return to normalcy. They don't try to govern themselves or rebel like in other countries."

"I worry," said Pandora, off to the side.

"Ok, well now that we all know what's happening, we should get Na- ah… comedian some actual…. Hygiene and get his fed a more proper meal. An actual supper will happen in a few hours, I hope you'll enjoy it," said Shatner, licking his lips slightly, "Not one, but three deer, FAT dear, were caught the other day. That's amazing. Some meat and bread will go nicely."

Nate nodded, eager to get into some real food, not soup.

"Ok, well we'll talk more later," said Shatner.

Everyone said their good-byes before signing off, and Pandora smiled and shook Nate's hand before leaving to continue his tasks.

"Raiders," said Shatner, whispering a little, "We can't let this get out… The Major, he was a tactician, right?"

"We were hidden," said Nate, "We did everything right. It just wasn't enough."

"I can't have people thinking we're weak," said Shatner, "We cannot have widespread panic, especially here in the United States. We're already hopeless as is!"

"Stop worrying," said Nate, "We'll hold out. It will all be just fine."

"Well… I'm glad you made it out," said Shatner, "And made it here! Now, I'd love to hear some of these stories but FIRST I have to EAT! Let's go!"

With that, Shatner arose from the chair and lead Nate back to the Elevator to the surface.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Nate sat beside Shatner on the Steps to the Lincoln Memorial. There was a little bit of meat next to some bread and vegetables that had been grown inside the botanical gardens. They began to eat, watching the sun begin to set through the clouds in the distance.

"This is a good set-up you got here," said Nate, "You should feel really lucky, really blessed."

"But for how much longer?" asked Shatner, shaking his head and taking a bite of the venison, "How much longer will it be till it all catches up with us? How much longer until the deer move away, or stop breathing all together?"

Nate nodded, allowing the statement to settle down, but Shatner kept shaking his head and thinking about it.

"How much longer until we no longer have clean water? Till our stores run out? Till the land stops producing crops?" asked Shatner, "Every week or so, we have people show up here. We're growing. At first, it was great; but now… It leaves our council wondering… the originals are afraid. It worries me."

"You shouldn't be, what you have here is amazing," said Nate, "It's… great."

"And that's what every newcomer says," said Shatner, "But… there's going to be a time when there's no one else showing up. There's going to be a time when we can no longer support ourselves. There's going to be a time… when we lose hope for GOOD!"

Shatner rubbed his forehead while Nate thought for a moment.

"It… doesn't have to be that way," said Nate.

"So what do you suggest?" said Shatner, playing with his food.

Nate hesitated at first, then he looked at Shatner, "I suggest we… we stay in tacked until the cavalry arrives."

"The What?" asked Shatner, his interest tugged a little.

"Well… I don't know for sure… it's just," Nate adjusted his position getting slightly more excited, "America…. Us… our Government… it's not gone."

Shatner paused for a second, before nodding slowly and continuing to eat.

"What?" asked Nate, "It's true! Do you really think they would've stayed here or CLOSE to here when things began to heat up?"

"No, not really," said Shatner, "There are multiple high-priority bunkers sprinkled across the US, so I don't imagine-"

"No, Shatner," said Nate, interrupting, "I meant here in General. Not the damn Bunkers! What if there were bunkers we've never heard of. FAR away?"

"Ok… you lost me," said Shatner.

"Listen… look around you. Washington wasn't nuked, yeah?" said Nate, "You want to know why? Because Washington is only a SYMBOL! Russian Targets, the Iranians, they knew this. Chicago, Boston, New York, Philadelphia, some places in California, they're all GONE! Even two targets in the middle of know-where, the wheat belt! You want to know why? Because they hurt us more non-morally then they did morally. They WANT us to feel strong, rebuild, collect in one place."

"Makes sense… but still stupid," said Shatner, "Our anti-Missile defenses stopped certain missiles from reaching their targets, which explains the random locations. Same thing in Russia and other countries."

"Listen," said Nate, "I… have sources. Ok? After nuclear fallout, any enemy of the United States left standing is going to make its move! They will come ehre, expecting ruins and terrified American people. They will occupy the US and claim it a VICTORY! But… they won't know our greatest tactic."

"And… that is…" said Shatner, trying to follow along.

"The United States… is not gone," said Nate, "In 1973 the United States purchased an OK amount of land in North Africa. Nobody could understand why. In 1987 'unofficial' documents surfaced describing troop placements in an 'African' US Outpost. The amounts were… alarming," said Nate, then seeing Shatner not putting it together, he rolled his eyes and continued, "Shatner, ugh! The United States major Fallout Bunker is NOT in the Untied States. When missiles started flying, they all headed to Africa. When the time comes again, the United States will rise from the ashes and they will return home, claiming the homeland once again from any invaders or enemies and liberating their surviving citizens!"

Shatner said nothing for a few seconds, and continued eating. After finishing his food, he laid down the pan he was using as a plate and starred at the setting sun. Nate's face slowly turned into a look of confusion before Shatner Spoke.

"That… is about the most, RETARDED, thing I have ever heard… in all my life," said Shatner, looking at Nate, "Like… seriously. I think that is probably the most… childish… crazy, Inhumane story I think anyone has ever come up with."

"What?" said Nate, "No, no! It's true. It all makes sense."

"Stupid… Stupid sense," said Shatner, "Who told you this?"

"It's a popular idea, the facts are there!" said Nate.

"There are no facts," said Shatner, "I cannot believe you are actually thinking about this is reality."

"I'll prove it," said Nate.

"How?" said Shatner.

A few minutes later Nate and Shatner sat back down at the same terminal Shatner was at before. They were online, and Zurom just entered the chat room they had set up.

"How's it goin'," said Zurom, nodding towards his webcam.

"Zurom, I need to settle something," said Shatner, "I need you to look up what you know on a rumor about the US Government hiding out in Africa."

"Ah, that old story," said Zurom.

"What? You've heard this before?" said Shatner, Nate smiling like an idiot behind him.

"Oh, yeah. And you haven't? I thought all Americans knew," said Zurom, "About the United states purchase of land in Africa, the leaked documents about troop movements, even collaboration with the Israelis. Nothing to confirm it now-a-days."

"Toldja," said Nate, "Ha, ha."

"Hmm… let me see what I can find on the ol' WWBC," said Zurom, he began typing, "A few threads on it… four a five replies… doesn't look big. Let's test it out."

Zurom went quiet as he looked it over. It was a few minutes before anyone did anything again. Shatner turned to Nate, shaking his head.

"Where did you hear this anyway?" said Shatner.

"Uh, Up North," said Nate, "You see… after the attack I wandered a bit. As I said, I wasn't looking for D.C. I just ended up finding it. Anyways… I met a few people beforehand, and… well. Besides their stories, they were planning to go there, looking for them."

"They were what?" said Shatner.

"Fly… to Africa," said Nate, "They had a plane, and maps, and a pilot, and everything. He even taught me to fly. I'm pretty much a damn pilot! Anyways… I was going to go with them, you know. To Africa… but I was looking for… uh… Some fuel! Yeah… some food and water and some Airplane fuel."

"Airplane fuel," asked Shatner, "And these morons are just gonna… fly to Africa in search of some random… stupid dream?"

Nate allowed a look of anger to cross his face, and his arms crossed with it.

"It's better then rotting in our Nations Capital, waiting for hunger, thirst, and civil war to set in!"

Shatner was almost taken aback by the comment, and a look of annoyance crossed his own face as well. They sat in silence until Zurom finally spoke.

"Sorry for the wait," said Zurom, "There was a bit of lag. New Server's kicking my ass. Anyway… I think this story is truer then we give it credit to be."

"What?" said Shatner, "But… it's so… retarded!"

"But the same stories with the same clues are used in all topics about it. Everyone has heard the same thing. If it was a legend, it would vary from teller to teller in certain ways. Then again, all stories vary slightly from person to person. Some of these could be copies."

"But they're still there," said Nate.

"Yes," answered Zurom, without any emotion or caring on the matter, "Why? You guys planning on traveling there?"

"NO!" said Shatner, cutting Nate off, "There is no way I'd go on some stupid trip to find something that wouldn't exist. It's impossible.

"Improbable," said Nate, "But… I think we could find a way."

"Yeah… with your crazy buddies over in the plane, right?" said Shatner, "Where are these crackpots anyway?"

Before Nate could retaliate, an alarm began to sound, and Shatner and Nate looked around anxiously.

"Uh… Shatner," said Nate.

"That's our emergency alarm," Said Shatner, rising from his seat, "It means something's wrong. Shots fired!"

Shatner and Nate burst from the elevator, in time to see people running around and men with guns heading towards the wall. Nate looked at many of the civilians who did nothing, just stood and looked around.

"Don't you have a plan for these things?" yelled Nate over the noise.

"Not really, no one has ever gotten over the wall. A few shots fired is it. Usually we just need a show of force to get them to surrender their arms long enough to talk with them."

A low buzzing could be heard, and it drove Nate mad after a few seconds. When Nate noticed it was getting louder, he was sure he was going insane.

They began running past the giant reflection pool, people diving in to get to tents and the like. The hum was much louder now, and Nate stopped Shatner to tell him.

"What?" said Shatner, as Nate grabbed his shoulder to slow down.

"Shatner, I-" started Nate, but he was cut off as a helicopter flew by, overhead, and began to circle at the end of the colony.

Shatner and Nate both looked on in awe, following it with their eyes.

"Shatner," started Nate, "I think if they don't come in peace… then they have a better show of force then you."

"Get off the wall!" yelled a voice, an older one.

Shatner and Nate looked towards the wall where Nate had entered. An explosion tore the gate from its hinges and many of the guards on the wall jumped from it, dodging the explosion. More gunfire could be heard, and Shatner and Nate ducked, and looked around in surprise. Screams and shouts came from many of the civilians, and soon, return fire came from the colonists.

"Oh, snap!" yelled Nate, get back, get DOWN!"

Nate grabbed Shatner, and brought him behind a pile of rubble that was close by. Peeking out, Nate and Shatner saw a couple of rusted trucks plow through where the gate has been, and men armed with a lot of guns began firing at whoever they could, many more running in on foot.

"Radiers," said Shatner, dazed and confused, then he shook out of it, getting angry, "Raiders! You, you lead them here. They followed you!"

"Impossible," said Nate, equally as dazed, "That's… impossible."

"No it's not! It makes sense. YOU did this!" said Shatner, getting his rifle and taking off the safety, "This is all YOUR fault."

"You don't get it," said Nate, "That's impossible… that's IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Well… now what?" said Shatner, aiming his rifle.

"Fight," said Nate, "We need to fight, we need to get them!"

Bullets slammed into the ground around them, and they ducked farther into the rubble. Nate looked up, and noticed a gunner on the helicopter raining down hell.

"I know what we got to do!" said Nate, "Those trucks… that chopper… they need to GO!"

"You have a plan to do that?" asked Shatner.

"Uh…" thought Nate for a second, looking around.

He stared around the ground, and saw a rope not too far off. He smiled, and grabbed it, then grabbed some old, twisted metal from the rubble pile they were at. After a few minutes, he had twisted them into a rough grappling hook. Smiling at his handiwork, he showed it to Shatner.

"And?" asked Shatner, eyeing the Raiders as they slaughtered there way through the camp, making their way towards them.

"And now… a grenade of some sort. Do you have one?" asked Nate.

"Not ON me," said Shatner, "We don't have time for this!"

"Damn… there goes that idea," said Nate to himself, ignoring Shatner's surprised look.

Nate looked around again, examining the trucks. On one, he noticed a stack of gasoline tanks. Nate smiled.

"Got it, cover me," yelled Nate, and he leapt from the rubble pile.

"What?" questioned Shatner, but he was too late.

Nate already was sprinting across the land, firing at whichever Raider was closest with his rifle. He hit one not far off, and he fell to the ground. Another turned and looked, but was hit in the shoulder. Before he had time to act, Nate was already looking down his barrel and pulling the trigger as many times as he could at the truck. Several Raiders close by opened fire at him, but fired from the hip, missing.

The bullets punched several holes into the gas tanks, and Nate dived to the ground, continuing to fire and empty his clip. He hit the ground and rolled, staying to the ground, listening to the bullet wiz passed him. _What the hell?_ Thought Nate. He looked up, seeing no effect on the guys in the truck, and the one guy with a big machine gun in the truck laughed.

"Shit," said Nate, watching as they all stopped firing and actually took aim at him.

The big man with the machine gun continued to laugh, and he removed his cigarette from his mouth and dropped it to the floor of the truck bed. Aiming down his sight, he released the safety to the large machine gun he had.

Woosh!

The truck erupted into flames, and the last of the gas tanks ignited, exploding in a cloud of flame and smoke. The Raiders around the truck we hit with shrapnel, and thrown forward with the force of the blast.

Nate smiled, and raised his fist in the air, "Boo-Yeah!"

A few more bullets pelted the land in back of Nate, coming closer, and Nate had enough time to look back and gasp before trying to desperately crawl forward. Overhead, the helicopter streaked by, and a magazine fell from it as the gunner reloaded his rifle.

"One down," said Nate, grabbing the makeshift grappling hook, "One to go."

Nate got up, and slung his gun to his side. He took off after the Helicopter, and began swing it in his right hand. As he ran, he moved his path onto a pile of rubble, and jumped from it onto one of the built shack houses, and ran on the poorly built roofs, praying he wouldn't fall in.

He helicopter did as expected, and slowed down before it began to make its turn. Nate ran full speed ahead, swing the grappling hook faster and faster. Shanter stayed back, watching the whole thing through his scope.

Nate reached the end of the line of shacks, and jumped. Praying he was close enough, he chucked the grappling hook into the air, and watched it soar as he slowly fell toward the earth.

The grappling hook soared through the air, and went a little over the rotor of the helicopter. The spinning rotor latched onto the rope, and sucked the grappling hook inside. A large clang could be heard, and the helicopter jerked to the side in resistance. Then the spin of the rotor began pulling the rest of the rope inside.

Nate landed on the ground, and smiled. Holding onto the rope. He stood up, and looked back, waving to Shatner.

"You crazy fool," yelled Shatner, smiling, "Let go of the rope!"

Nate's face turned confused, and he held his hand up to his ear. _Shit_, thought Shatner, _He truly doesn't get it_.

"The rope," yelled Shatner, "Drop it!"

The rope tightened, and jerked Nate back up into the air. After a few second of flight up and towards the helicopter, Nate let go, allowing his body to fly through the air and land in a pile of rubble not far off. Shatner squinted in pain at the sight, but was immediately distracted by the helicopter.

The helicopter's rotor finally got clogged, and it stopped, suddenly, sending it into a dangerous tailspin around in an awkward oval. Smoke spat from it, and yells and shouts could be heard from Raiders and colonists alike. The helicopter fell from the Sky, slamming into one of the remnants of the Smithsonian Air and Space museum.

"Ha," said Shatner, "Right where you belong!"

Then, keeping low, Shatner made his way to where Nate had landed.

Nate lay, still, on a pile of rubble by one end of the wall that surrounded the colony. He was in some sort of daze, starring into the Sky. Shatner ran up, and spotted him before reaching him.

"Nate!" Shatner yelled, "Comedian! Nate! Are you ok? Nate!"

Shatner reached him, but Nate quickly snapped from his daze, jumping up and punching the sky.

"Did you see THAT!" he yelled, "Woo-hoo! Hot DAMN! Did you see that? I was like, 'aaahhh! Platoon!' And the jeep was like BOOM. And then I was all like, 'yippie-kay-yay' and the chopper was like, all German bad guy fallin TO THE GROUND! Yeah!"

"That was amazing!" said Shatner, "Crazy, but amazing. I mean… how did you know the machine-gunner would drop his cigarette? Or… how the rotor would freeze up like that?"

"Uh…" said Nate, getting an embarrassed face on, "I didn't. I was expecting the gasoline to explode… when I shot it… and I was gonna use the grappling hook to hoist myself up into the helicopter and take it over by force."

Shatner's smile slowly disappeared, and he cocked an eyebrow up, "Take it over? How were you going to land it when you did? IF you did?"

"I… don't know. Didn't have time to get that far," said Nate.

"What the hell," asked Shatner, "What… THAT was your plan? That's so… RETARDED. I mean this isn't some kind of action movie. You can't really so that in real life!"

"Uh-huh," said Nate, a smile spreading across his face, "Tell THAT… to the Raiders I JUST KILLED LIKE A BOSS BOO YEAH MOTHAH FRICKAH!"

Nate started up his dance again, hooping and hollering like a child at his win. Shatner stared on, now completely shocked.

"So," said Nate, finishing his dance, "Who's next? Who's up for round TWO?"

"It worked," said Shatner, turning around and heading back, "Just like you said. As soon as the chopper fell, and one of their trucks blew up, they began retreating, only taking some provisions and leaving with their last truck."

"And… everyone else?" asked Nate, a little disappointed at the news of everything.

"Maybe you should come and see for yourself," said Shatner, walking back towards the main colony.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was only a matter of hours for the colony guards to clear out the rest of the colony. Those Raiders who were left alive were wounded, and neither bullets nor medical supplies would be wasted on them. Many screamed or gurgled themselves till they bled out, others tried to quicken their death.

After that, though, it was only a hard… long time. Counting up the deaths of the civilians and guards, that was the toughest. Digging through rubble, broken tents and knocked over shacks… it was tough. Then there was the wounded, there didn't seem to be enough hospitals. Men, women, even children bleed from beatings and bullet wounds received during the small raid. Doctors were in short supply, very short supply, and everyone was meant to help out as much as possible.

Nate was put to work bandaging small wounds, and he helped see the majority of patients. Many did have simple scraps and cuts, but many more came right from the surgery ward, too busy to even bandage up the holes. Shatner went off, helping wherever he could. First, he searched for bodies of the wounded, digging in rubble for missing souls and sifting through broken tents and shacks for those in hiding or hurt. After that, he ran down to the surgery ward and tried to help as much as he could.

After six long hours, he sat back on the stairs of the Lincoln memorial, and stared at his bloody hands as the sun set in the distance. He stared, amazed, and then averted his view to the colony, many places still smoking from the attack. He shook his head, amazed at how drastic his world had changed.

A figure sat down next to him, Shatner could not see. He truly didn't care, but he had his ideas.

"Damn," said Nate, brushing off his pants, "I never thought anyone could bleed so much without dying before the blast. But… man… has this whole thing changed my view."

"You…" said Shatner, in a daze, "You… lead them here."

"No, no, no," said Nate, suddenly getting very defensive, "Look, you don't fully understand. That's… Impossible. I mean… I-"

"You lead them here," said Shatner, again, "And now… and now…"

"I… am so sorry," said Nate, grasping at his heart, "I had… no idea. I… I… I know your pain."

"This… changes everything," said Shatner, rubbing his bloody hands together, "This is the biggest change in my life since the war…"

It was quiet again. They sat in silence, watching as the last bit of the sun slowly disappeared over the horizon.

"Do you have any idea what this did to our moral alone?" said Shatner, beginning to get slightly angry, "I mean… how can anyone feel safe when their loved ones… their children… their wives, daughters, sons, brothers sisters… They're GONE! I mean… what about another attack? What about what they took? We need to rebuild… that takes manpower. We might be low on ammunition now. Some of our best fighters were killed today."

"Moral…" said Nate, and he thought for a moment, "I can't believe Americans would do this to other Americans."

"It happened to you," said Shatner, "It'll happen again. In fact, I'm not at ALL surprised… IN FACT: I'm downright sure this could only happen in America."

"If only there was America again," said Nate, "Our government… someone to lead us… a military to actually defend us."

"There is," said Shatner, "One in California, one here. That's all connected to the network."

Shatner began trying to remove the blood from his hands by whipping them on his pants. Nate scooted down a couple of steps to sit right next to Shatner.

"No," said Nate, getting serious, "There's one more. A secret one. In Africa!"

"Oh, no," said Shatner, rolling his eyes, "Please… don't. That's a rumor, one of the WORST ones I've ever heard. I'm not going to sit around waiting on some imaginary government to come over the horizon and save the day!"

"You're right," said Nate, crossing his arms and smiling, "Guess we're just going to have to go and find it ourselves."

"WHAT?" asked Shatner, standing up, "No… no, NO, nonono, NO! HELL no! What…. NO! Just… NO!"

"What?" said Nate, "We know it's there, I know a few people going."

"No, no comedian," yelled Shatner, "WE don't know it's there. WE don't know anything. There is no WE!"

"Then I know," said Nate, standing up as well, "And I believe I should chase it."

"What? Oh… you think so? You THINK so?" asked Shatner, "FINE! Fine… you go, you go and you… fly with your lunatic friends and you go chase… your hallucination."

"Fine," said Nate, "I'll leave in the morning."

"Good," said Shatner, standing up, "Things were definitely better before YOU showed up!"

Nate cringed at the comment, before hardening up, and glaring at Shatner. Shatner thought about what he had said, and shook his head.

"Oh yeah," said Nate, "I've heard that before…"

Nate turned and started to walk away, but stopped, unsure of where to go. He looked around, and shook his head. Shatner sighed and shook his head again.

"I believe we have some airplane fuel," said Shatner, "And we can't really use it for…. Anything else. Not sure why. You can take those, and head back. I can show you where you can sleep."

"Ok," said Nate, harshly, "Thanks for the bed, and the fuel… Gone by morning!"

Shatner shook his head, and took off following Nate.

The next morning, the sun was rising over the ruins of the D.C. Colony. Reconstruction had already begun, and at the early hours many of the workers had been most of the night. Nate stood at the same hill he had before. He was looking over the colony, sadness in his heart. Strapped to his side were four gallons of airplane fuel. A lot better then having nothing, Nate had said.

He turned, and began to walk away. They were a lot heavier then he thought… But he sighed to himself.

"No what," said Nate.

"Wait," yelled a voice from behind.

Nate turned, trying to see who was calling for him. He saw Shatner running up the hill, backpack on his back and a Rifle in his hand. Nate found himself wanting to smile, but he purposefully kept it hidden. Shatner came up beside him, and gasped heavily.

"We… I…" started Shatner, then he took a second and swallowed, slowing his breathing.

"I… I spoke with the Council," said Shatner, "And… they think that it isn't… a waste to go out looking for help. So…"

"That's what you told them?" asked Nate.

"I'm out looking for help… with you… to make us stronger and to see who else is out there," said Shatner, "To… rebuild America."

"So…" said Nate, "We're looking for… help…"

"Yes," said Shatner, "So… we better not be left down."

Nate looked to the ground, a sullen look on his face.

"It's going to be dangerous," said Nate.

"One of us might not make it back," said Shatner.

Nate nodded, "You're right," he said, "I wouldn't want to come back here. Ruin your lifestyle and all…"

Shatner cleared his throat, and an embarrassed smile spread across his face. He shuffled his feet on the ground before rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

"Ok… ok," said Shatner, "I'm sorry… it wasn't your fault. In fact, you did a lot to help. So… we cool?"

Nate allowed an eyebrow to raise a little, glaring at Shatner.

"Ok… and I'll make it up to you," said Shatner, "I'll… put up with your stupid flying idea."

Nate finally allowed the smile to escape, and his grin spread from ear to ear.

"Day… Alright," said Nate, "Come here, big fella!"

Once again, Nate embraced Shatner, leaving an awkward moment. When nate pulled back, Shatner was shaking his head.

"Don't ever do that again," said Shatner, "That really ran its course."

"What if I do?" asked Nate.

"Have you ever been shot in the face?" asked Shatner, slitting his eyes.

"Fourth Grade, brother… BB Gun," started Nate, "Fat in the cheek kept it from going completely through."

Shatner shook his head again, and Nate began to laugh to himself.

"Come on, we got a lot of ground to cover!" said Nate, and he slapped Shatner on the shoulder and began to walk.

Shatner rubbed his shoulder, and slowly shook his head, thinking how long of a trip this was going to turn out to be. He followed along, walking next to Nate as he walked into the wilderness.

"So, where are we going?" said Shatner.

"You'll see," said Nate, "We head NORTH!"

Shatner stopped, and looked around. Taking out a compass from his pocket, he followed the needle with his arm, eventually stopping off to his right.

"North is that way," said Shatner, shaking his head.

Nate awkwardly stared back, and eye the compass in Shatner's hand.

"North," said Nate, again, and he turned, heading in the northerly direction.

Shatner shook his head again, and covered his face with his hand.

"I don't have much confidence in this already," said Shatner.

"One setback, bite me," said Nate, "Don't worry, I know exactly what we're doing. I trust these guys. And if you don't trust me, at least trust them."

"WAIT," came a cry from behind them both.

Nate looked at Shatner, and Shatner at Nate, before they turned around, and saw Pandora running up to catch up with them.

"Bailey," yelled Shatner, "What the hell?"

"You can't leave me behind," said Bailey, "I'm coming too!"

"Of course you can come," said Nate, as Bailey closed the gap and stopped alongside him.

"What? No… no he cannot come," said Shatner, "Can that plane of theirs even handle any more people?"

"Who cares, I think it's the more the merrier," said Nate, "Besides, it's a pretty big plane. So… I'm not worried."

Shatner rolled his eyes while Bailey beamed.

"Name's Brian, Comedian," said Bailey.

"Nate, and he's Shatner," said Nate, smiling.

Shatner glared, then shook his head, "Alright, let's go. But I don't want the plane going down because it is overburdened."

"That can't happen," said Nate, "Don't worry."

"Oh, by the way," said Shatner, reaching into one of his bags and bringing out a giant walkie-talkie looking device, "This is a cellular satellite phone, modified. It's very reliable. The best part, we'll have direct contact with Zurom at all times. I've used it on occasion."

"And Zurom can help us out informationally if we need it?" asked Nate, "Nice, let's try it!"

"No," said Shatner, putting it back, "I do not want it breaking."

"Fine," said Nate, "Alright, so… three amigos set off into the world. NICE!"

"I think I'm going to like this," said Pandora, smiling to himself.

"Oh, I highly doubt it," said Shatner, mumbling to himself, "Chasing after such a retarded plan…"


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

They had been walking for a few days, making great distance. More then Nate remembered making as he went. Eventually, Nate began recognizing landmarks, towns, even a few streets. Soon, they were going even faster, making their way closer and closer to their unknown destination. Slowly, things turned more and more dirty and ruined, slowly the plant life died, and even the bugs stopped showing up. This subtle change, soon had Shatner on edge.

"Ok… I spy with my little eye…" said Pandora, staring around as they walked.

"Tree," guessed Nate.

"No, something Grey," said Pandora.

"The tree," said Nate again, "The tree's grey. Everything's grey around here!"

"It's not the tree," said Pandora, crossing his arms, "You give up?"

"Hell, no," said Nate, "Uh… that shack."

"No," said Pandora.

"Clouds?" asked Nate, slowly getting frustrated, "Dirt? Bush? Road? Dirt? Your Clothes?"

"No, no, no," said Pandora, "Are you even trying anymore?"

"Grey," said Shatner to himself, looking around, and looking ahead, "That's all this is, it's frickin GREY! Looks like we're in a damn fallout zone."

"Well…" started Nate, but he decided not to finish it, shaking his head.

"Well, what?" asked Shatner, getting more interested.

"Well… we are going towards Boston," said Nate cautiously, and turning his head from Shatner, "In fact… it's right out side of it."

Shatner stopped dead, not moving. He even seemed to have stopped breathing. Another few steps and Pandora and Nate stopped with him, Pandora looking confused.

"Boston?" questioned Shatner, a very unamused look on his face, "Boston… Mass?"

"Umm…." murmured Nate, trying to tiptoe around the facts, "Well… it's… it's… it's what USED to be Boston, yes."

"The Boston Mass… where a nuclear bomb hit," said Shatner, slowly getting angry, "A Nuclear bomb…"

"Well…" said Nate, throwing up his hands in surrender, "I personally think it's a huge improvement. I mean, give the Iranian some credit, he didn't exactly miss."

"What is WRONG with you?" asked Shatner, now his anger and amazement fully coming to the surface, "BOSTON? Are you nuts? Are you serious?"

"Hey, hey, hey, it's NOT that bad," said Nate.

"Not that bad?" said Shatner, throwing his hands around him and doing a spin, "We're in a FALLOUT zone. Nuclear FALLOUT! Do you know what that means? This whole area is DEAD, GONE, radiation! And you just walked us right into it."

Pandora allowed a looked of disgust to cross his face, and he ducked down, avoiding a spec of dust falling in the sky.

"It's not that bad…" said Nate, "Besides, I didn't see anything glowing in the dark last time I came through here."

"You could've KILLED us," said Shatner, "We could all be dying right NOW! We could have radiation sickness… do you know what you've done."

"Look, I know it doesn't makes sense but believe me, these guys have been here a while. Nothing bad happened to THEM," said Nate, pointing in the direction of nothingness, "And, all the free space makes an excellent airfield."

"Oh… well… OF COURSE," yelled Shatner, pacing back and forth, "Why not? Makes a wonderful airfield… radiation isn't so bad. Glow in the dark… you are…so…. Retarded! On SO many levels."

"Alright, alright, let's calm down," said Nate, "I understand your concern but if I would've died from radiation poisoning shouldn't I have died days ago? Weeks? And what about those guys? Months? A year? Maybe there's something about the bomb we don't know."

"Don't know? Who wants to know?" asked Shatner, "I mean… ugh! We're all dead."

Shatner covered his face with a rag, and stared around with a grim look. Pandora smiled a little bit, uneasily, lifting his shoe and examining the ash underneath.

"Look, if we're already dead we came this far we might as well keep moving until radiation sickness steps in, alright?"

Shatner, glared at Nate, sending a chill down Pandora and Nate's spine.

"I think we should go too," said Pandora, awkwardly, "If we're already dead and all… you know…"

"Fine," said Shatner, without changing his facial expression, "But… I swear… OH!"

"Don't worry," said Nate, "The worst that can happen now is we'll get shot."

"If I die, your ASS is HAUNTED," yelled Shatner, in a last spout of anger as they continued walking.

Nate quietly laughed to himself, Pandora joining along in an awkward chuckle, keeping an eye on Shatner and Nate.

It was an uneasy walk for the last few miles, but eventually the landscape turned flat and barren, and in the distance stood a series of small shacks and a large makeshift tent. They slowed their walks down about a quarter of a mile away, and stood, unsure of what to do next.

"So… that's it," said Shatner, still upset but amazement clearly on his face, "In the middle of nothing… literally.

"Fort Boondocks, yes," said Nate, almost smiling, "Hold on, we don't want to sneak up on them. I'll let them know we're here."

"I don't see anyone," said Pandora, awkwardly staring at the small encampment.

"They might be eating or something," said Nate, "I still see the plane… I think…"

"I don't want to sneak up on them, scare them or anything," said Shatner.

"I highly doubt that," said Nate, "But we'll make sure they know we're here."

Nate took a few steps forward, waving his hands and cupping his mouth.

"Hello?" yelled Nate, waiting for a second, "Hello! Guys? It's Flint! Nate Flint!"

There was a long pause, no one responded. Nate scratched his head, completely confused at the situation. The area went dead silent, a small wind making minuscule noise. His eyebrows scrunched, and he crossed his arms, Shatner shifting uneasily from one leg to another.

"No one answered," said Pandora, carefully.

Nate shrugged, looking at Pandora.

"Well, glad you're here," said Nate, then he turned to Shatner, "Alright, come on. Let's go in. But be careful, rifles at the ready."

Nate took the safety off his rifle, and began walking towards the camp, Shatner did the same, making sure a round was in the chamber. Pandora looked around nervously, before walking up next to Nate.

"Wait, I need a gun… I need something. All I was given was a knife," Pandora pulled out a small pocket knife, opening it insecurely.

"Stab hard, stab fast, and stab many times," said Nate, almost below a whisper, "Go for the throat."

"The throat," said Pandora, his face twisting into a disgusted look and his left hand rubbing his neck carefully.

"Shatner, I'll go left, you go right. Take Beatle, here," said Nate, walking off towards the camp slightly faster.

"You mean Bailey?" said Shatner, then he motioned for Bailey and they headed towards the other side of camp.

"HEY," yelled Nate, as they got closer, "HEY YOU GUYS! It's Flint. I'm coming in, hold your fire and I'll hold mine!"

No response, so Nate nodded, and continued in, rifle at the ready.

Nate went around the left side, slowly working his way through the several shacks and tents that made up the camp. No sign of life could be found. He carefully kicked in doors, and peeked through tent flaps. He heard Shatner and Pandora doing the same.

Nate arrived at the supply shack, on of the biggest that had been built, and he saw the lock was off, and the door was ajar. That wasn't a good sign, they would have never done that, thought Nate. He walked up to the door, and slowly opened it. He gazed in… looking into the shack. His face turned to disgust, then sadness.

"Oh my God," said Nate, "No…"

Shatner and Pandora went the right path, and carefully tip toed through the camp. Pandora was very careful to check tents and open a few shed doors for Shatner. They couldn't really find anything, nor any signs of a struggle.

At the other side, they found an area clearly meant for a plane, and a campfire with some desks around it. Notes had been written on the paper on the desks, but Shatner could not read it.

"So what do you think?" asked Pandora.

"I think this is a very bad sign," said Shatner, "I think they left without us. Or worse…"

"Does this mean we're not going anywhere?" asked Pandora.

"This means nothing," said Nate, walking towards them from his side, "You'll never guess what I found."

Shatner looked up, recognizing the look on Nate's face, "No good news?"

"Well, they seem to have left, if that's what you mean," said Nate, "But, on a lighter note, I found that they left their weapons behind."

Nate laid a few shotguns and rifles on one o the tables, and started emptying a bag of pistols he had collected as well. He grabbed a .37 Magnum from the table and examined it, smiling, and stapped its holster to his leg.

"Dibs," said Nate, "On the magnum and sawed off. Here you got, Beatle."

Nate threw Pandora a rifle, and a box of ammunition, also giving him one of the pistols on the table. Shatner walked over, looking dismally at the weapons.

"They left… but left their weapons behind?" asked Shatner.

"Yeah, well, they're weird," said Nate, smiling, "You want the shotgun? They had enough ammo for the pistols and the shotguns, it seems."

Shatner picked up the twelve gauge pump that was lying there, and gauged its weight for a moment before looking up at Nate.

"Doesn't this bother you?" asked Shatner, "What if something happened…"

"They might've been taken by raiders," suggested Pandora, admiring his new weapons.

"And left behind the guns and no sign of struggle?" answered Nate, "Not quite. We saw Washington."

"Nate's right, it wasn't raiders," said Shatner, "But… to leave behind everything? Where would they go?"

"Well…" said Nate, looking around, "Their… uh… truck isn't here."

"They had a truck?" asked Shatner.

"Yes, and it's not here. So maybe they left. Maybe they're doing… something. I don't know."

"Huh," was all Shatner could reply with, admiring the shotgun in his hand.

"Ok, and I got something to show ya!" said Nate, a smile spreading from ear to ear.

Nate walked over to a very large tent, and tugged hard on one of the cords. The whole tent began to fall from several points, and it revealed a large, duel engine private propeller plane. It definitely seemed old, but Shatner could not spot any major problems right off.

"Woah," said Pandora, beaming at the plane.

"What are you doing?" asked Shatner, looking at Nate.

'What? I'm showing you the plane."

"Why?" asked Shatner, "We're not… oh you can't expect us to take the plane."

"Well… that's what we're here for," said Nate.

"Oh… hell no," said Shatner, "Nuh-uh! No! We're not taking their airplane, you thought they were out for the moment, anyway. Now you're going to steal their guns and their plane?"

"Shatner," said Nate, getting a little agitated, "Come on, dude. Weren't YOU the one telling us something happened to them anyway? They left their guns behind and all that. So… I don't feel they're coming back."

Shatner allowed another laugh to escape him, "So? You're missing my point. None of us are PILOTS! You're suggesting that we FLY a PLANE to AFRICA without any PILOTS!"

"Don't you remember?" said Nate, smiling big, "I had a few lessons."

"You had a few lessons?" said Shatner, almost laughing at the memory of him bringing it up, "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you were an experienced pilot. Wait… how much airtime have you had?"

"How ELSE do you suppose we get to Africa?" asked Nate.

"How about we don't go to Africa at all?" asked Shatner, throwing his hands into the air, "What a crazy idea that is! Why don't we go look for real people, with a real chance of recruitment, like I told the council I would instead of walking aimlessly and trying to get to AFRICA!"

"Fine," said Nate, crossing his arms, "Then you and Beatle, here, start walkin' BACK to wherever the hell you call home. I'm getting in this plane and hitting the ROAD!"

Shatner shook his head, not even smiling, "Yeah, hitting the road, probably not the best choice of words."

"I'm not heading back," said Pandora.

Shatner and Nate both looked at him, nothing being said between them.

"I don't want to head back," said Pandora, "All my life, I've had only ONE big thing and that was the pilgrimage from North Carolina to Washington not long ago. That's IT! That's all I've had to live for thus far. And I was young, and I was with my PARENTS! I want something… more… I want to LIVE, I want to be independent. I want some frickin' ADVENTURE!"

Pandora stopped talking, and looked from Shatner to Nate. He nodded his head, and stepped towards Nate.

"If you want to head back, fine. I'm not mad," said Pandora, "But you're doing it alone. Because even if this is crazy, I'm going with Comedian. I'm going somewhere, doing something. Even if it means disappointment and possible death!"

Nate gave an awkward smile, but it changed into a sad frown. He slowly shook his head.

"Let's not think of death as fun? I really don't want to be responsible for-"

"And what?" interrupted Shatner, "I'm not wanting a little spark as well? I don't want some adventure? I don't want to return home proud of something I've done? You think it's easy for me?"

"You're always so active, and you have a lot of say in our colony," said Pandora, "I have nothing."

"I have no say!" said Shatner, "I get treated nicely; I look nice, I may get a vote, but I get NO say on things that matter. None."

Shatner began to sway a little, and he found a camping stool nearby and took a seat.

"You don't think I want a little something?" Shatner continued, "You don't think I want this whole crackpot thing to be true? I don't want to end up old, alone, and sad because I wasted my life away trying to hold on to a colony and a dream that will NEVER come true."

Shatner sagged down, starring into the remains of a possible under kept fire pit. Nate stood, awkwardly, looking from one to the other. Then he shrugged, grabbed a few bags around him, and headed towards the plane. He opened the side door and he climbed inside, storing a few weapons and bags inside.

When he emerged again, they were both exactly where he had left them, and he nodded his head.

"I don't want to be the old one here," said Shatner, "But it's so… out there. It's so… not real."

"I know, too," said Pandora, "But… I need to do this. It's not your fault, it's my CHOICE."

Nate tried to shaker the tones of their voices from his head, and he headed into the camp, looking around for supplies. A few tools, matches, some starter fluid, compasses, maps, even some survival manuals. He found their food stores, and saw a lot of it had been depleted. He grabbed some water, but continued to look.

"Dew….Dew….Dew…" Nate was humming to himself when Pandora came up behind him.

"What are you looking for?" asked Pandora.

"Mountain Dew," said Nate, "There's the last can of Pepsi here and I am really surprised they don't have anything else. They have a good amount of water."

"Why are you looking for a Mountain Dew so much? Water is much more-"

"Don't," cut off Nate, holding his hand up to silence Pandora, "Question… the Dew. Alright? I haven't had one in years, and I'm kinda thirsty for some citreous goodness!"

"Ok," said Pandora, raising his hands and stepping back.

"Ok," answered Nate, turning back to his quest, upturning one empty cooler after another, "So… Shatner leave?"

"I don't know," said Pandora, "But he seems to really not want to come."

"I don't blame him," said Nate, turning to Pandora, "Why do you, anyways? I mean, we're not certified pilots. I've only been lightly trained. It's quite a possibility we'll die."

"Well… let's die trying, you know?" said Pandora, smiling, "To Africa?"

"To Africa!" said Nate, smiling back.

After a few hours of gathering some supplies, Nate nodded towards the plane, and Pandora and he were ready to go. Shatner still sat in his stool, staring uneasily at the plane. Nate and Pandora stood uneasily by him.

"Alright," said Nate, nodding, "This is it."

"So…" said Pandora, "You heading back?"

Shatner didn't say a word, he just shook his head lightly.

"I can't believe you're actually going to go through with this," he said, staring at Nate, "I never saw you as this type of person."

"Well," said Nate, shrugging, "A maaaaaan's gotta do what a maaaan's gotta do. Don't plan the plan if you caaaaan't follow through."

Shatner stood up, holding up his hand, "Did you really just start singing?"

"Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog," said Nate, smiling, "Win…"

Shatner rolled his eyes, and xrossed his arms again. Nate shrugged, turned and headed for the plane.

"Your loss," said Nate, "All ABOARD!"

Nate climbed the steps into the plane, and Pandora reluctantly followed. Shatner watched, and he laughed to himself.

"Good luck, swimming your way to AFRICA," he yelled, after them, "I think Maine's really good this time of year."

Nate sat down in the pilot's seat, slapping on a headset and smiling. Pandora sat next to him, a smile slowly starting to build on his own face.

"You ready?" asked Nate, flipping switches and turning knobs.

"Sure," said Pandora, "Launching in ten…. Nine…. Eight…"

"Maybe," suggested Nate, "We should start at… maybe… thirteen?"

"Fine," said Pandora, "Thirteen, twelve, eleven…"

Pandora continued to countdown and around five Nate was finished and he waited to hit the ignition button. Pandora yelled "ONE" and Nate slammed his thumb into the button. Nothing happened. No turn over, no nothing. Nate hit the button several times, and he frowned a little. Pandora had a frown also spread across his face.

"Hmm…" said Nate, tapping the full fuel gauge, "I'm sure there's an explanation."

Shatner walked into the cabin, smiling and surprising Pandora.

"Ok, fine, you guilted me into it," said Shatner, smiling a little, "But you two morons left the stairs down and the blocks in the wheels!"

"I know," said Nate, "How can you get inside if the stairs are down?"

Shatner smiled to himself, and then examined the confused look on Nate's face.

"What's wrong?" said Shatner, "You can't even start the plane?"

"NO!" said Nate, "We were… waiting for you…"

"Well, did you at least turn the safety key?" said Shatner.

Nate and Pandora both had confused looks now, and Shatner rolled his eyes.

"Older style planes have safety keys, like in a car, for on and off so that the plane isn't started by accident."

Nate looked around a bit, and underneath the control board was a small key. Nate turned it, and pressed the ignition button again. The engines fired up, backfiring a few times before the propellers began spinning fast. Pandora and Nate's face lit up, and even Shatner smiled a little.

"Ok, out of my seat," said Shatner, pointing at Pandora.

"What?" said Pandora, surprised.

"You think I'm leaving my life in the hands of you two?" said Shatner, "Nuh-huh. You're flying coach, kid. And YOU," Shatner accused, pointing at Nate, "You better know your stuff."

"Oh, it's like a fly over the Atlantic," said Nate, smiling wide, "It's so easy, even that woman could do it. Air Hearts or something?"

"Amelia Earhart?" asked Shatner, rolling his eyes, "She disappeared and was never seen again, presumed dead."

"Whatever," said Nate, grapping a hold of the throttle and joystick, "Let's FLY!"

Nate carefully pushed down the throttle, and Shatner and Pandora switched seats. Pandora headed into the back, taking a seat next to a window so he could see. Shatner strapped in, and motioned Nate to do the same. Nate scoffed, shaking his head.

"No thank you," Nate said, pushing harder onto the throttle, "If this goes sour, I don't want to survive it for the 'I told you so' speech."

Shatner shook his head, but he didn't want to argue as the plane sped up, heading down the most non-runway runway he had ever seen. Nate half steered the plane, a nervous smile on his plane.

"No air time, huh?" said Shatner, nervousness setting in.

"I was on the radio once," said Nate, "Sang the W 'ok' Q theme."

"Not what I meant, Nate," said Shatner.

"Yeah… I figured," answered Nate, keeping his eyes on the runway ahead.

The plane sped up, and soon it was lightly lifting off the ground every so often, and then it was ready to fly. But it didn't rise, it wouldn't actually take off.

"What's going on?" asked Shatner, "We must go up."

"I don't know," said Nate, staring at the runway ahead, "It's just not… going up!"

"Must go UP," said Shatner, again, then he looked ahead and his eyes expanded, "Boston…. BOSTON… Boston CRATER!"

Nate then adjusted his eyes, spying the crater ahead.

"That makes things dramatic," said Nate, his heart speeding up faster and faster.

"Up," yelled Shatner, then he began fidgeting in his seat, "Please… go UP!"

Nate froze, he couldn't think of anything. The crater came closer and closer.

"Pull up, NATE!" yelled Shatner.

"Pull up, OOOOOHHH!!!" said Nate, "Just like in the movies…"

Nate pulled hard on the joystick, and the plane tipped upwards, soaring into the sky, right over the crater. After a few minutes of going up, Nate leveled off over the Atlantic Ocean and let out a sigh.

"Well… that wasn't so hard," said Nate, smiling to Shatner, who's look of fear turned into a scowl.

"What?" said Nate, "First time for everybody. How you doin' back there, kid?"

"I now know why the seatbelt light was on," cried Pandora from the back, followed by moaning as he tried to get up.

Nate shrugged, and stared off into the Ocean, "Alright… next stop, Africa Safari!"

"You're going to land us in the damn dessert," said Shatner, crossing his arms and scanning the panels for a compass and other such stuff.

And they turned the plane, heading off into the distance, leaving the American shore far behind.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Nate brought the plane up, easing a little bit of Shatner's pain, while replacing it with another. Pandora busied himself cleaning up the stuff that had fallen during the take off, and he was perfectly happy staring out the window. After a little bit, Nate smiled and eased up, smiling.

"Hey, scared of heights?" asked Nate.

"No," said Shatner, hesitantly, "I'm actually very comfortable right now, as far as heights go. I enjoy this a lot. What I have a problem with is… you flying this. I am so SCARED right now."

"Don't worry," said Nate, "This is going FINE! This is a lot easier then I thought."

"Please don't say that," said Shatner, "Ever… again…"

"Uh-huh," said Nate, shrugging, "Alright, well… won't be long now."

"What?" said Shatner, "We're in a rust bucket. It's a 11-12 hour flight, MAYBE, with Jet Planes. We're going to be flying for awhile."

"Oh…" said Nate, thinking to himself.

They flew in silence for a little bit, Nate watching the clouds and Shatner keeping an eye on all the instruments. After about an hour or so, they decided that shifts would be very important, and so would normal travel, rules. Pandora was excited for the idea of Shifts, but Nate and Shatner made it clear his would be very short, and supervised.

Not long after, they settle down, overlooking the ocean. Pandora was in the copilot's seat, Nate was still flying, Shatner sat on the floor of the Cabin, overlooking maps and his compass.

"I Spy… with my little eye…" said Pandora.

"Boat," said Nate, pointing as a sinking abandoned yacht miles below.

Pandora snapped his fingers, looking at Nate, "It's like you KNOW."

"Well, you used water last time, three skies, a few clouds… and you haven't been smart enough to use anything INSIDE the plane yet," said Nate, yawning and stretching out a little bit.

"Oh…" said Pandora, examining all the gauges in the planes, "Inside… the plane."

"What does that compass on the dash say," said Shatner, finally, "Where are we going."

"Umm…" said Nate, looking around, then he smiled and said, "R, for right direction."

"That's not a direction," said Shatner, "R? Are you even looking at the right thing? Have we been going nowhere forever!"

Shatner rose from his spot, and looked at the dash, scanning it for the compass.

"Umm… Nate, Half these gauges don't seem to be working at all," said Shatner, looking around.

"That's no good," said Nate.

Shatner's eyes rose a little, then back at the gauges before shooting back out the front window.

"Uh… guys," said Shatner, slowly pointing out of the window, "Aren't you a little worried about… that."

Nate peered out the window as well and rubbed his chin. Outside dark clouds had moved in, and the sea below began to get rougher. Nate looked at Shatner, and shrugged his arms.

"It's a storm, that's bad," said Nate.

In a few second, several things happened. A bolt of lighting lit up the sky, and thunder shook the cabin. Shatner pushed Pandora out of the copilot's seat, and he sat down and strapped in. Pandora sprinted into the back, strapping into one of the many seats that were there.

"What are we going to do?" said Shatner, eyeing the gauges.

"Uhm… Fly through it?" asked Nate, shrugging his arms a little bit.

"Fly through it?" yelled Shatner.

"I am not smart enough to come up with anything else," said Nate, "In the pot, Five-By-Five!"

"I don't think that's the actual catchphrase…" said Shatner, but he was cut short as rain began hitting the window outside.

Nate grasped the joystick, and prepped his feet by the pedals. In another few minutes, a full scale storm was around them, rain, wind, and lightning all around them. Nate threw on the headset, and turned on the radio.

"Africa, Africa, this is… uhh…." Nate looked at Shatner, "What are we?"

"Dead!" shouted Shatner, "We're dead, this was such a bad idea, I hate you… I hate YOU!"

"This is Delta-Echo-Alpha-Delta, we are in distress, I repeat, we are in distress! Is anyone out there!"

"Dumbass!" yelled Shatner.

The plane shook, and Nate fought to control it. Shatner grasped the dash, looking around.

"You need to stabilize it," said Shatner.

"Don't backseat fly, dude," yelled Nate.

"Like YOU know what to do anyway?" fought Shatner.

"I'm going to be SICK!" yelled Pandora from the back of the plane.

"Stay on target," said Nate.

"Can you stop that," said Shatner, "Focus please!"

"Stay on Tar-get!" said Nate, a little louder.

"Focus!" said Shatner.

The plane shook again, and the right engine gave out, and the plane began to dive a little.

"Damn! We lost an engine!" yelled Shatner.

"Africa, Africa, this is Delta Echo…. UGH! This is US! May-day, may-day!"

"Oh, you've killed us, Flint, you've killed US! I hate you," yelled Shatner, "I'm gonna DIE!"

"I'm too young to DIE!" yelled Pandora from the back.

"Oh, stop being a baby," said Nate, "I can save this, It's just like Bioshock, As long as…"

BOOM, the second engine was hit by lightning and it exploded, bursting into flames. Nate swore under his breath and stared out the front window.

"Ok, now this is bad," said Nate, and he got back on the radio, "Mayday, mayday, mayday!"

"That doesn't even WORK!" yelled Shatner.

"At least I'm trying!" yelled Nate, "What the hell are YOU doing?"

"I am getting so SICK of this crap," yelled Shatner.

"Well… SOR-RY!" yelled Nate.

They were going to argue more, but a tree limb scraped the bottom of the plane, reminding them of where they were. Nate pulled up, hard, and Shatner tried to help. It was so dark; Nate never saw the ground as the plane slammed into wet dirt.

Nate heard the crackling of fire, and he awoke, morning dew on his face. He was soaked, form head to toe, and really cold because of it. He looked around, and his neck popped and cracked as he did. Wincing in pain, he rose from where he lay and had a look around.

Debris and fresh dirt was kicked around everywhere. The majority of the plane sat on the ground, next to a long, long trench dug out of the ground from the crash. One of the wings were still intact, but it burned very slightly. The other seemed to have exploded on impact. Nate stretched and looked around, surveying were they seemed to be.

They appeared to have gotten lucky. Hit some trees on the way in but landed in a field of some sort. Nate could spot a road not far off, and a lot of road signs to go with it. Nate could hear tapping of some sort, and he looked around the crash site. He couldn't quite understand what he was looking for, but he found his rifle, his goggles, undamaged…

THE OTHERS!

Nate immediately relooked around the area, scanning for any signs of the others, and then he homed in on the source of the tapping. He ran up to the damaged plane, and tugged on the plane's opening hatch. It only broke open a little bit, cracking and revealing cries of help on the inside.

"Hey," yelled Nate, "You alright in there?"

"Oh my god," yelled Pandora from inside, "I thought you had died. What the hell happened?"

"We landed, duh," said Nate, "How did you sleep?"

"I don't know how to open this door," said Pandora, "I think it's stuck."

Nate looked around, and then noticed a giant metal bar not far off. He ran over and grabbed it, then ran back. He slammed it into the door, then pulled on it, slowly prying the door open. It wasn't long and the door gave way, popping off the hinges and hitting the ground.

Pandora stumbled out, taking a huge wiff of fresh air and and spread out on the ground. Nate ducked in, looking at the crew quarters.

"Is Shatner in there?" asked Nate.

"I don't know, he's not with you?" asked Pandora.

"Damn," said Nate, checking inside the plane again, "Wait, he was in the cabin."

Nate ran into the plane, moving some of their supplies around and made his way to the cabin door. It had been closed, and sealed. He rubbed his head, and then began to tug at it. Slowly, it opened, the rust was evident in it. But soon, he pulled it back enough to look inside.

"Hello?" said Nate, grapping the magnum at his side, "Is anyone still alive in there?"

"What's with the pistol?" asked Pandora from the plane's door.

"He could've died," whispered Nate, cautiously looking back at Pandora.

"So?" said Pandora, 'What's the gun for?"

"If he's been Zombified," said Nate, "There's no way I'm taking a chance."

"What the hell," exclaimed Pandora.

"one second you're like, 'hey, he made it' next second… WAMMO!" exclaimed Nate, "You just became a McDouble extra cheese!"

"That is so stupid," said Pandora.

"Fine, McChicken," said Nate, "Stay back there, but when ZombiePossum rises again, I' going to let him eat you, then shoot you BOTH in the head."

"Oh my God…." Said Pandora, turning away, "If you shoot dead Shatner in the head…"

"It's precautionary measure, kid," said Nate, "Quick, find your rifle and get our things, I'm going in."

Nate shoved the last few inches of the door aside and slowly walked in, gun pointed at the copilot's seat. There was still a body there, and it wasn't moving.

"Ew," said Nate, and he slowly came forward.

"Shatner," Nate whispered, then he shook his head, "How Shatner, I knew you well… you were a nice person, full of love and joy for your colony and so helpful many times."

"Mhmm…" came a sound from the body.

"You were also very handy for carrying the extra things, because I couldn't do it without you," continued Nate, "But most importantly, you were a kill-joy, a very big killjoy. And I believe this trip will be a lot happier now because of this. Well… at least after a time of mourning."

"What?" said Shatner, rising from his seat a little bit.

"And I know you never really truly believed in this mission, but I know that I didn't care, and I'm glad you came along when you did…"

"What the hell," said Shatner, turning around, "Are you stupid?"

"OH MY GOD!" yelled Nate, jumping back and rising up his pistol, "ZOMBIE!"

"NO! NO!" yelled Shatner, also jumping back, "Don't shoot you idiot!"

"Oh, you're alive," said Nate, lowering his gun, "I'm so glad."

"Shut the hell up," said Shatner, "I hate you. My leg is stuck, get me out of HERE!"

"Fine," said Nate.

"Killjoy? You… UGH!" said Shatner, rubbing his head, and finding a bloody part of his head, "Oh my God…. I could have a concussion."

"You could have a bullet…" said Nate, holstering his pistol and stepping forward to help Shatner out.

After getting Shatner out, Shatner stumbled outside into the sunlight, and looked around. It was maybe early morning the next day.

"Dang," said Shatner.

"Yeah, I know, what a good landing job, right?" said Nate, "You know, for crashing and all…"

"Where are we?" said Shatner.

"Here," answered Nate, looking around.

"No, where!" said Shatner again.

"Africa, I would assume," said Nate.

"Well, go over to those road signs, they might give us an idea of where we are," said Shatner, pointing towards the road, "Nate, you go check the signs. Pandora and I will salvage what we can from the plane."

"I can't read African," said Nate.

"African's not a language," said Shatner, "But, how they are written, the type of alphabet, even the NAME can help us find out where we are. Now GO!"

"Fine," said Nate, "But I don't read African."

"No such thing as the 'African' language," yelled Shatner after him.

Shatner and Pandora spent many minutes gathering some of the baggage that made it out unscathed, and a few of the weapons, before they heard Nate yelling from the road area.

"Shatner, SHATNER," yelled Nate, over and over again.

Shatner looked at Pandora, and then ran towards the road, spotting Nate pointing at a sign.

"I can totally read African!" yelled Nate, finally, "We're SAVED! I didn't even know I could but I can."

"What?" asked Shatner, getting closer and viewing the sign.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. You can't read African," said Nate, looking at the sign, "It reads… 'Birmingham… 4…. 'Kilos', not fully sure what that means, but I'm sure it's a word for miles."

"You idiot," said Shatner, shaking his head, "That's in English, that's not another language. And Kilometers is a type of measurement."

"You're just jealous because I can read African," said Nate, again.

"There's no such thing as 'African'!" yelled Shatner, "What the HECK!"

"Is too," said Nate, crossing his arms.

"You child," said Shatner, taking out the phone from earlier and turning it on, "But this is still good, it'll tell us where we're going, where we are."

Shatner rang up the phone, and waited a second or two. On the other end, a familiar voice answered.

"Hello? Pizza Palace, can I take your order?"

"Zurom, its Shatner," said Shatner, holding a finger up to one of his ears, "We need some help. We've… had some problems and now we're lost."

"Ah, how is that whole… thing going?" asked Zurom.

"Bad, we're lost," said Shatner, "Look, can you just tell us where Birmingham is? A Birmingham is. Their signs are in English but read metric, maybe that'll help."

"Sure, I'll do a search. Hold on," replied Zurom, who cut off from the phone for a moment.

"Can he see us," said Nate, staring into the sky, "With satellites and all that."

"No," said Shatner, then he thought about and said, "Probably not."

"Weird," Pandora mumbled, also beginning to stare off into the sky.

"Ok, guys, here's the deal," said Shatner, turning around and facing the other two, "Wherever this 'Birmingham' is it's bound to have some supplies and maybe a vehicle we can use, ok? So, we'll gather our things and we'll make our way for it there, alright?"

"Sounds good!" said Nate, stretching out the vowels.

"We going to walk?" asked Pandora.

Shatner ignored Pandora's questioned and continued onward, "Ok, but since this is somewhere new, and we're heading towards some sort of residential area, we have to begin dealing with the possibility that we may encounter more people, new people. People who we may not want to meet."

"I hate people," said Nate, under his breath.

"Isn't that the point of our trip?" asked Pandora.

"The point of our trip IS to find people in Africa," said Nate, raising an eyebrow at Shatner.

"This is NOT AFRICA," yelled Shatner, again, "And our point is to find the AMERICANS in Africa, not just anybody at all ever. Remember, it's been a while since many of these people have seen ANYONE new. They're going to be a little hostile at first, but what I'm worried about are raiders or bandits or any stray form of Government that may still hold a major grudge against us."

"Africans…" said Nate, under his breath, "So we'll shoot first, ask questions later."

"No," said Shatner, "I just want us to lie low, get in, look for some supplies, get out. We'll be on our way in no time."

"Fine, I'm game," said Nate, nodding his head.

"Cool," said Pandora, showing his agreement as well.

"Let's go get our stuff," said Shatner, beginning to head back to the plane.

"Shatnerpossum, come in, this is Zurom," Zurom's voice rang through the phone.

"Find us?" said Shatner.

"Yeah, I found you. There's only one that really, truly, makes sense and if I were you I'd hope this was right. I tracked you down in Birmingham, England. Kinda a big city, you could say. It was hit during the war but should still be standing."

"England, ok," said Shatner, glaring at Nate and rolling his eyes, "Well, at least we hit SOMETHING."

"Did you crash? What were you doing?" asked Zurom.

"Nothing, forget it," said Shatner, "Thank you. I'm out."

"Oh yeah," said Nate, checking his rifle, "Shoot first, ask questions later."

"Why?" asked Pandora.

"Brits…" said Nate, shaking his head, "All I'm going to say… Brits…"


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

And so they started, walking; It was a longer walk then they first thought, but they soon didn't mind. Well, not all of them minded.

"On the road again," sang Nate, suddenly and without warning, "I can't wait to get on the road again."

"Just a-walkin' with my gun and my two friends," sang Pandora, "I can't wait to get ON the road again."

"Stop…" said Shatner.

"On the road AGAIN!" sang Nate and Pandora together, "Where memories are made and drinkin' ain't a prioritay! With ym best of Friends, been thinking that Africa ain't so far away. It's my way."

"No…" said Shatner again, "That's NOT how that song goes… AT ALL!"

"…Second Verse, SAME AS THE FIRST!" sang Nate and Pandora together, "King Henry the Eighth I am, I-am. King Henry the eighth I am…"

"Oh my god, really?" burst Shatner finally, "It's the frickin' twelfth time! Can't you go back to 'I Spy' or some crap? Anything?"

"Don't saaaay, good-byyyeee!" sand Nate, leaning against Pandora, "Cuz I don't wanna hear those words, toniiiight! Cuz baby that's not the END for you and I!"

"I swear, I'm going to shoot you, I will this TIME!" said Shatner.

"I'd like to make myself believe," sang Pandora, softly, "That Planet Earth…. Turns….slow….ly…"

"And I can't find myself awake while I'm asleep…" continued Nate.

Shatner coughed something, loudly, and Nate glared at him.

"I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad…" sang Nate, "The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had… I find it-"

"Ok, NO!" yelled Shatner, stopping and turning around, pushing at Nate and Pandora, 'Stop, singing! Ok? No more, none, ZERO! No more singing, ok? No more of this frickin human Ipod CRAP!"

Nate and Pandora nervously looked at each other, then back at Shatner, who slowly breathed heavily and calmed himself back down.

" 'The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had'?" asked Shatner, "What the HELL kind of song is that?"

"I don't know," said Nate, "Want something happier?"

"NO! I don't want ANYTHING!" said Shatner, turning around and continue to walk.

"So, yeah, what kind of rifle is that anyways?" asked Shatner, pointing at Nate's gun.

"It's a FN Fal," answered Nate, "I believe a... Brazilian semi-auto."

"Why do you have a Brazilian Semi Automatic?" asked Shatner.

"I like the semi autos, dude," answered Nate, "Besides, I had a single shot, single barreled, twelve gauge shotgun but when I found this there was no compare."

"Huh," said Shatner, "You see, the problem I find with semi-autos and autos are that they're fun and all but I waste way too much ammunition. I find that I need to do everything efficiently. I like the bolt actions and pump shotguns for that reason."

"Uh-huh," answered Nate, watching Pandora trying to balance himself on one of the guard rails on the side of the road.

"I know there are situations when I'm going to hate that," said Shatner, continuing on, "But for the most part I think in times like these it would be way better to try and work together then be ready to fight at a moments notice."

Nate nodded his head, and looked out beyond the horizon. He thought a moment, and it was another 3-4 steps of silence before he spoke.

"But if you could have, like, any gun… ever… what would it be?"

"Like… for fun or for practicality or…" answered Shatner.

"Hell if I know," answered Nate.

"Well," said Shatner, "The AK-47 is considered one of the best weapons of our time for the amount of ammo it can use, the beating it can take, the power and accuracy that it has, and the multiple uses it can use. I think one of those would be nice. But the new M16A1 is pretty good itself, and is considered one of the BEST new weapons of our time."

"Uh-huh… not a bad choice, then," said Nate.

"And you?" asked Shatner.

"I want an M14," said Nate, nodding, "Get me one of those and I'll be ok. I have a soft spot for the M60 and M204SAW as well…"

"Those are heavy," said Shatner.

"I know… it's totally worth it," answered Nate, "I know odds are I never would but the idea of just going Rambo on some squad of Russians. YEAH!"

Nate imitated firing a machine gun from the hip with his rifle, and Shatner just shook his head.

"They'd gut you in a second," said Shatner, smiling.

"Wanna hear what I'd like?" asked Pandora.

"No," came from Nate and Shatner together, and they both smirked when they realized they had said it together.

"Jynx," said Nate, "Owe me a Dew…"

"You child…" answered Shatner, smiling to himself.

"Hey," asked Nate, looking towards Pandora, "Do you have a Zombie plan?"

"A zombie plan?" asked Shatner, looking questionably at Nate.

"Sure," said Pandora, "But it changes all the time, especially now."

"Oh," answered Nate.

"Are you being serious…. Hypothetical… or…" started Shatner, unable how to say anything.

"I'm not kidding around," said Nate.

"A Zombie plan? A real frickin' Zombie Plan?" asked Shatner, beginning to get a little snappy.

"Uh, yeah," said Nate, "A Zombie Plan. You know, when the living dead rise from their graves and try to feast on whoever's left of humanity."

"And… you seriously have a fully functional plan for this?" asked Shatner.

"Yeah, of course," said Nate, while Pandora nodded his head, "It's to keep us one step ahead of the unexpected Human Happy Meals."

"You're being serious," said Shatner, looking to Pandora, who nodded, "So… you have a plan?"

"Of course, I have a few," said Nate, "You see, after my stores had run out, and the dead began to rise, I would back up and head North, towards where Zurom lived. You see… way up north it's cold… and Zombies cannot produce body heat. So, a few days in Canadian wilderness and, blammo! Safe with Zurom."

"Uh-huh…" said Shatner, nodding his head a little, before turning to Pandora, "And you?"

Pandora blinked in surprise for a second before saying, "Well… mine was not as thought out as that. Mine mostly consisted of grabbing the nearest weapon and going Zombie-Hunting."

Shatner just shook his head, and continued walking, "You're all idiots. And you really believe in this crap?"

"Better to be overprepared then underprepared," replied Nate, beaming with a sense of importance.

"Ugh," said Shatner, rolling his eyes, "If you would've shot me back there…"

"So, tell me, before the war…" started Shatner, "Did you… have a girl or anything?"

'What?" said Nate, watching Pandora far off, jumping from car to car, "No… heh heh, I'm not that kind of guy, I guess."

"You're gay?" asked Shatner, taking a few involuntary steps away from Nate.

"No!" said nate, swinging out to hit him, "I just… was never the dating type, you know… no one ever really…"

Nate didn't have to continue, Shatner understood.

"Before all this… I had my eye on someone," said Shatner, staring up into the sky as he walked, "We took classes together, in DC. I was much like yourself, though, there was no way I was going to ask her out. Well… unless you add four cases of peer pressure, two beers, and $50 bet."

"So, what happened?" asked Nate.

"I never got a chance," said Shatner, "The next day, it was warnings, and then Boston was hit at the missiles started flying. Recruiters were here and there but it happened so fast… by the time anyone knew what to do, the war had consumed us all. I never really found out what happened to her."

"Damn," murmured Nate.

"I had a girl," said Pandora, "She's was lean, and fi-ine! I'm telling you, guys. It was the fith grade, and I totally knew right then that-"

"Shut up, Bailey," said Shatner.

"No one cares," said Nate.

Pandora puffed out his lower lip, but ceased talking for a while. They continued walking for another 15 minutes until anyone spoke again.

"Do you guys really not care?" asked Pandora.

"Of course we do," said Nate, "But, Beatle, you ruined the mood with your Middle school love… crap…. That's only crushes, that's not love."

"Maybe that's all Shatner had," said Pandora, as Shatner shot him an annoyed look, "Adult crush."

"Maybe," said Nate.

Shatner's face turned a little more angry and he began to walk faster, "I'm going to crush you BOTH if you don't stop talking."

"Are you serious?" asked Pandora, "Because, I'm serious, it was about the Eighth grade when I was-"

"Super Market," yelled Nate, suddenly, then he pointed and a smile spread across his face, "Land Ho!"

Nate, Shatner, and Pandora stood outside the super market. It had been left in obvious neglect, and many of the windows were bashed out, boarded up, or painted black. The front door was braced and boarded up, and no lights or signs of life could be seen from the inside.

Nate stared at it, without blinking. Pandora looked around nervous, and yet eager. Shatner kept scratching his head and looking awkwardly at the supermarket, and the parking lot surrounding it.

"You think they're still inside?" asked Pandora.

"Some of these cars have been stripped of parts and the like," said Shatner, examining the parking lot, "They could have fixed a vehicle or two and hit the road."

"There's only one way to find out," said Nate, smiling a little bit.

Shatner grabbed his shoulder, holding on tightly, "Now, Nate, Let's think this through. Remember, there might be people in there. Strange people, people who have deranged views on how this world has turned out."

"Or, there could be frightened Brits who would be thrilled beyond belief there are others alive out there," said Nate, smiling again, "Besides, we can't just leave. We have large needs that must be filled. Food, water, etc etc."

"You think after so long there'd still be things in there eatable?" asked Pandora, "Or not already eaten by the inhabitants?"

"We're not going to know until we look, am I right?" asked Nate, who smiled and took a few steps forward.

Shatner held him back, "Now hold on a minute, think a little bit, PLEASE."

Nate broke free of Shatner's grasp and walked up to one of the front doors, and began banging really hard on the boarded up doors.

"Ring, ring," yelled Nate, taking a few steps back from the door, raising his rifle to aim at the windows, "Room service!"

Shatner and Pandora raised their guns as well, and waited for any response. There was none, no movement or motion inside the storefront.

"Hello," yelled Nate again, "We come in peace. Is there anybody alive in there? Anybody at all?"

There was a pause, and no response continued to come from the super market.

"How about anybody dead?" yelled Pandora, "Is there any dead people in there?"

Shatner rolled his eyes, "Or wounded. What the HELL kind of question is that? Obviously they don't wish to answer."

"Or they aren't home," said Nate, taking a few steps forward again and grabbing ahold of some of the boards.

Before Shatner uttered a sound of protest, Nate began pushing and pulling on the large boards and plywood, trying to loosen some of them up. Nate took a step back in defeat, and observed the way they hammered in the nails and screwed in the screws. Shatner was about to smile when Nate took a few steps towards them, but without warning Nate turned and ran, full power, into the door, creating a very large ruckus and the sound of glass breaking and wood splintering could be heard.

Shatner rolled his eyes, and Nate smiled, pushing over some of the broken wood and getting enough off to aim his rifle inside the supermarket, looking around inside. Shatner and Pandora walked up and joined him.

"That was, smooth, that was REAL smooth," said Shatner.

"Shh, quiet," said Nate, observing the inside, and in seeing nothing, "Come on, keep your eyes peeled.

Nate ripped away the last few boards, and broke the last bid of glass so they could easily get inside the supermarket. Nate, Shatner, and then Pandora walked in, and looked around the Supermarket, sweeping it with their guns.

The super market was disserted at first glance. They could find nothing, much of the food and sweets had been stripped from the shelves, and light filtered down at odd places, casting some light in this dark place. Some beds, board games, and even trash was littered around the front counters, but otherwise no sign of life could be found.

"Clear," whispered Nate, "Move Up."

"What the… what are we? Black Ops now?" answered Shatner.

"Roger," whispered Pandora, who walked up slunked again one of the cash register counters, and carefully peered out from behind.

Shatner rolled his eyes as Nate moved forward as well, clearly clearing one isle to the next. Shatner began looking over the beds and game boards. Pandora followed Nate, keeping up the Spec-Ops agme until they reached the end of the isles.

"Clear!" yelled Pandora, making Nate jump a little.

"Damn, Beatle," said Nate, shaking his head, "And that's so what we think. Keep your eyes open. They could be out back, they could be hiding in the isles…. They could EVEN be hiding in the ceiling."

Nate slowly pointed upwards, and Pandora's eyes shot up, and his rifle slowly rose up to it as well. Shatner approached them from behind, completely relaxed.

"I don't think they just left, or ran away," said Shatner, "There's A LOT of dust on those blankets and game pieces. They moved out a LONG time ago."

"Uh-huh," said Nate, "Just our luck… or it's a TRAP. We should keep our eyes open."

'Yes we should," said Shatner, looking around, "Some of the none-perishables might still be here, we should see what we got and load up, then leave."

"Jackpot!" said Nate, his face lighting up, "Pepsi Products!"

Shatner watched as Nate ran up to a row of coolers. Different soda companies were on the side, and a variety of different sodas still sat inside, and the cooler lights were even still on.

"Wow," said Shatner, "I am really surprised."

"Dew… Dew… Dew…" said Nate to himself, "Pepsi products!"

Nate tried to open both the Pepsi coolers, which were locked shut. He tugged, before giving up and slamming the glass with all his might, shattering it open. He looked inside, and his smile disappeared. He moved around a lot of bottles, before slamming his fist down on the cooler.

"Pepsi?? There's only Pepsi!" said Nate, slowly getting angry.

"Yeah?" answered Pandora, "It IS a Pepsi cooler, duh."

Nate glared at Pandora, "No one can hear you scream out here, kid."

'What's with the whole… Dew fascination, huh? Captain Ahab?" said Shatner, "You hunt for it relentlessly. What was so good about Mountain Dew? Why not enjoy a Pepsi, or a Coke."

"Or a Sprite!" said Pandora, looking into another cooler, "Or an Orange Soda! Ah, WIN!"

Nate shook his head, "It's just that Mountain Dew is the most awesome and delicious thing ever CONCEIVED by man and it was my 'alcohol' through many a party."

"You never drank?" said Shatner.

"Never have, no need to," said Nate, "And… this Dew thing… It ain't over!"

"Let's get a crap and leave," said Shatner, sipping on a Coke, "Oh! It's cold!"

"Don't patronize me," said Nate, grabbing a few cokes and shoving them in his bag, "Now let's get some crap and go!"

"I don't remember the last one of these I had…" answered Pandora.

"A revelation, isn't it kid," said Nate, beginning down one isle and looking over the last food choices.

It wasn't long before they left the market, and made an agreement to keep their eyes open as they entered the city now. The city was in serious disrepair. Craters, car pileups, debris, and falling/fallen buildings everywhere. The once mighty sky scrapers now looked ghostly and hollow, and added to the spookiness to the city.

"Keep your eyes open… please," said Shatner, "I have a feeling there are DEFFINATLEY survivors in here, of SOME sort."

"They could've split up," said Nate, eyes scanning the building on either side of them.

"I'm not leaving anything to chance," said Shatner, carefully scanning the buildings.

They worked deeper into the city, careful where they stepped and who was where. Nate and Shatner both started getting paranoid half way through, and became jumping at the littlest things.

"Dang, they could be ANYWHERE!" burst Shatner suddenly, this is ridiculous. How do we know they aren't UP there?"

"I know, we could be ambushed at any second," said Nate, "We need a few people up inside the buildings."

"And one as bait? No, we all go together," said Shatner.

They got to the next traffic circle, and they headed to one of the side buildings that were still intact. A lot of the building had fallen, and it left only a small crack in which you could see inside, and the stairs leading to the other floors.

"This would have been supreme," said Nate, examining the hole, "But I don't think I can fit through, and making this bigger could collapse it all on the opening, or even bring down this whole building."

"I can fit," said Pandora, and without another word he lifted himself up and dived inside, rolling on the floor and scanning the room eagerly as he got up.

"Bailey!" called Shatner, reaching inside for a moment, but it was true Shatner NOR Nate were going to fit, "Get back out here, we'll find another WAY!"

"No, really guys, this is fine. If I get into trouble I'll call out," said Pandora, walking quickly through the building and scanning the room with his weapon.

"No, DON'T!" cried Shatner after him, as Pandora took off up the stairs, "We need to stay together, don't do this! Bailey!"

"Beatle, get back HERE!" yelled Nate as well, "You fool!"

"I knew it," said Shatner, giving up, "This was going to go bad."

"Let's find another way in and look for special agent man…" said Nate, continuing down the street.

Shatner followed him down, eagerly scanning the buildings for a way in.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

They continued walking down the street, but they could find no way into the building. Shatner began getting agitated, but Nate was preoccupied with something else.

"My feet hurt," said Nate.

"Ok…" said Shatner, slamming his body into another boarded up door, getting nowhere.

"We should find a vehicle," said Nate, examining the abandoned cars on the road, "Do you think any of these still work? They weren't exactly built to last."

"Without a proper mechanic none of these will ever run again," said Shatner, giving up and heading down the street once more, "Now stop whining and help me find a way inside somewhere!"

They reached an open square, at the end of some sort of park. Shatner examined the buildings and calculated the best way in.

"But, seriously," said Nate, "A vehicle would drastically make all this easier. Think about all the ground we could cover!"

"Ok, as soon as we find Brian we'll head off in search of a vehicle," said Shatner, then he looked around, "Man, this place has seen some action. I didn't think that Britain got hit as hard as us but dang."

"The world got hit," said Nate, "I'm surprised there's a world left. I mean… when bombs started flying everyone started shooting at everything."

"It's a shame, you know?" said Shatner, looking around again, "I mean, this was once a great city and-"

"TANK!" yelled Nate suddenly, causing Shatner to jump, and Nate pointed directly in front of him.

"Look, it's a tank, Shatner! We're SAVED!" continued Nate as he ran towards the tank.

"Wow," said Shatner, observing the tank, "It's a British Challenger. It must've been left behind from all the fighting."

Nate ran straight for it. Sitting on the side of the road, the tank was still, and appeared undamaged. Nate leapt before he slowed down, slamming into the tank, and he climbed on to it, examining it as he did.

"Oh, wow," said Nate, smiling big, "Is it our lucky day."

"Yeah… we found a tank… wooonderful," said Shatner, sarcastically, "Now stop playing around, let's go. We need to get into that building."

"I'll get us in," said Nate, eagerly, and he climbed onto the turret, eagerly picking at the top hatch.

"No, enough kidding around, ok? Let's go," said Shatner, turning and walking away.

"Wait, kidding around? Are you serious?" asked Nate, "This is… awesome! We're not leaving it."

Shatner turned around, now surprised, "We're not TAKING it. It's a tank."

"EXACTLY!" exclaimed Nate, "It's a TANK!"

Shatner shook his head, "You have GOT to be kidding."

"I don't see what the problem is," said Nate, crossing his arms, "We need a ride… we need some protection… we NEED a way into that building… we need-"

"I can't believe you're actually considering this," said Shatner, "We are NOT taking a TANK. Ok?"

"But, Shatner… It's a TANK!" said Nate, jumping from the tank and walking towards Shatner, "It's a TANK Shatner!"

"I know it's a tank," said Shatner, "We need a more practical form of transportation. And… we don't need to bring any attention to ourselves. Wait… How about the fact none of us are QUALIFIED to drive that thing?"

"How about this for an idea," said Nate, straightening up, "It's… the end of the FRICKIN' world and NO ONE is authorized or qualified to drive ANYTHING anymore. And what's going to happen? We going to go to jail?"

"Ugh… how about crashing?" said Shatner, "After the plane incident, I figured we'd have learned that."

"It's a TANK!" said Nate again, " Crashing is not a problem for it. It's a ta-ank!"

"I KNOW it's a tank," said Shatner, getting more agitated, "Look, we're not taking it, ok? Now STOP and come with me. We need to find Pandora… ugh… Bailey before he bleeds out somewhere."

Shatner began walking away, while Nate stood, amazed, watching him leave.

"But it's a TANK, Shatner," yelled Nate, after him, "It's a TANK!"

"I KNOW it's a TANK!" yelled Shatner back, then he stuttered for something else to through back, and then he found one, "Do you KNOW how much GAS a tank sues? We wouldn't get… a MILE out of it. You'd get from…"

Shatner looked around for a bit, then pointed at the tank, then down the next street.

"You'd get from THAT side of the street to THAT side of the street," said Shatner, then he continued walking away.

"Oh, CAN I?" asked Nate, dropping on his knees and begging, "From that side to that side? Please?" Shatner said nothing, "But… It's a TANK! A TANK, Shatner… a TANK! Shat-NER!!!! It's a TANK!"

"I KNOW IT'S A TANK!" yelled Shatner, stomping off still, observing the building for openings again.

Nate's face hardened, and he got up, "I'm an ADULT! Fine, I don't need YOU! I'll take it for a spin ANYWAY! Then I'll catch up with you LATER!"

"Whatever…" said Shatner, under his breath.

Nate smiled at, what he thought, was no response from Shatner and he greedily ran backwards, clamoring back onto the tank. Shatner continued down the street, shaking his head to himself.

"I hate this… I hate this… these kids are going to get me killed," said Shatner, shaking his head, "Or I'm gonna get shot… either by Zombie Hunter Nate or Tank Commander Flint… I'm going to die like Church! Oh god…"

After walking a little ways down, Shatner smiled. A large roadblock of rubble blocked his path, but it was from the building. The rubble showed Shatner an opening he could climb up to, and he smiled to himself.

"Now to find that kid," said Shatner, "And hopefully not die from that idiot."

In the blink of an eye, a figure jumped on top of the pile of rubble, a large metal stick in his hand. Several other figured popped out from behind different positions of the rubble, and in shops and stores at either side of Shatner. Shatner's face frowned as he looked around, aware of what was happening. The figures began making whooping and yelling noises, most of the brandished bows or sticks of some sort, a few had what appeared to be guns. Shatner shook his head.

"Damn," he said under his breath.

"Surrender," said the figure on top of the rubble pile, "How DARE you come to MY land, and trespass in MY CITY!"

"How did I know this would happen," said Shatner, careful as to how he would get his rifle ready.

"I, I am the lord of this LAND," yelled the figure, lifting up the mask and cape he had to expose his body, "I am the MIGHTY IAWN! Beg for MERCY, trespasser!"

"Shut the hell up, you boob," yelled another figure from lower down, "You're not the f***in leader, I am!"

"Silence, BUSWANKER!" yelled the figure from above, "Your leader DEMANDS it."

Shatner shook his head. Brits, what do you know… Nate was right about something after all. The figure seemed to be a small boy. Long, blondish hair, pale white skin, and some sort of war paint all over his body. At closer examination, Shatner rolled his eyes at the fact most of them were very vulgar phrases and pictures.

"Oh… this is ridiculous," said Shatner.

"Silence, you!" yelled the person from above, "The Mighty Iawn will order your execution if I hear another blabber out of your hole before I finish my speech-" a small rock hit him off the side of his head, and he turned bright pink in anger, "Who threw that? I DEMAND to KNOW!"

"Quiet, you loon," yelled that other figure again, "You're making us look bad!"

"Leanord! I swear…" yelled Iawn, "I will come DOWN there and rape you like I didja mum."

"My mum's dead, you cheeky bastard!" yelled the figure from below.

"Oi! Mates, pa-lease!" yelled another figure, not far off, "The prisonah!"

"Rioght," said Iawn, "I was JUST getting to that before SOME stupid buggah interrupted me."

BOOM! Not far behind Shatner, pieces of a building shattered, and Shatner, along with all his new captors, ducked down in surprise. The one called Iawn let out a high pitched squeal and pointed, and Shatner turned around, his eyes widened.

A tank, the same tank from earlier, now crushed cars as it barreled down the road. Shatner saw the explosion from earlier was it actually crashing through a building, and now shed the debris from the crash down the road.

Shatner allowed a smile to spread a little bit, especially when Iawn and the other ambushers ducked or hid, many dropping whatever weapons they had at the time. The tank came to a stop several yards behind Shatner, and Shatner adjusted his rifle, smiling.

"Attencion, British peoplez," came Nate's voice through the intercom, a seriously bad German accent to accompany it, "I vant your veapons, I vant zem on ze ground NAOW! And I vant you aall in ze streets in a singol file zine! Handz in ze AIR!"

"Alright," said Shatner, the grin now spread from ear to ear," good work, Dude! Now for the rest of you, DO it, NOW!"

The ambushers dropped the rest of their weapons, and they all walked out, hands up. Shatner now saw all of them were much shorter then he, and probably all around the same age. Young boys…

"Now," said Nate, continueing the strange accent, "I vant you to, All TOGEZER, do ze chicken dance… NAOW! Go! Shnell! Shnell!!"

The new captives seemed to look at each other frightened, and then they awkwardly started doing the chicken dance. Shatner's smile disappeared, and he rubbed his face.

"God…" he said to himself, "I am SURROUNDED by idiots. When will it END?"

BOOM!

Shatner's ears rang, and he couldn't hear a damn thing. He grasped it in pain, and clenched his eyes in pain. All the young kids did the same, some falling to the ground and screaming. Shatner could not hear them, but the ringing got louder and louder. Eventually, He looked around, and the sound of his own breathing slowly crept up on him. He looked up, seeing the results of an impact blast on a building down the road, and the shot caused it to shake and crumble slightly, sending tons of debris to the street.

Shatner was grasped by the shoulders and spun around, Nate was in his face, yelling something over and over again. Slowly, Shatner could hear a hum, which turned into a mumble, which slowly sent his hearing back with a flood of sound.

"Oh my GOD are you alright?" said Nate.

'What…. OW," said Shatner again, his ears in a lot of pain, "What the HELL was that?"

"My bad, sorry, sorry!" said Nate, cleaning out his own ears, "I was trying to hit the Brits. I missed, and forgot how loud it was going to be and the fact we were so close!"

"You shot the damn TANK?" asked Shatner, "What is WRONG with you?"

"Right now?" said Nate, "I don't know how to reload it!"

"Bluff them, then," said Shatner.

"Ok… uh…. That was a WARNING SHOT," said Nate, aiming his rifle at the now dizzy captives, "Anyone else try anything, you're dead!"

"We didn't do anything you-" started the one called Iawn.

"I… I saw that!" said Nate, again, "Don't play stupid with me. I will F*** You UP!"

"Woah, dude, calm down," said Shatner, pushing Nate lightly on his chest, "They're only kids."

"We're not kids," said the one who had been fighting with Iawn most of the time.

"Ok, whatever," said Nate, turning towards them, "Now... who's your leader?"

"I AM," said Iawn and the other at the same time, and they both glared at each other.

"Now, listen here you bubble-headed loony," said the unnamed one, "You are NOT our leader, and if you were we would've been dead years AGO!"

"You couldn't lead us out of this rotten CITY you TRAMP," yelled Iawn, back, "I am the GREAT and Mighty Iawn! I own this city and there is NOTHING you can DO about it!"

"Shut up," returned the other one.

"Hey, can you two stop it!" chimed in Nate, stepping forward a little, "God… they ARE a bunch of kids."

"Hey," said another child, "Check out their accents. They're Yanks!"

All the kids turned towards them, and Nate and Shatner eyed each other awkwardly.

"It… means we're just more likely to KILL YOU!" said Nate, returning to aiming his rifle at the kids.

"Yanks?" asked Shatner.

"Americans," whispered Nate, "Stick with the PROGRAM!"

"Yeah… they're yanks," said the one called Iawn, "What are you doin' in England?"

"Mind your own Business!" snapped Nate, "That's not for you to know. We have secret business here!"

"We're just passing through," said Shatner, lower Nate's rifle barrel, "Nothing more. We don't want any trouble. Right, Major Pain?"

"Fine, we don't want any trouble," said Nate, getting Shatner's hint-filled glare, then he smiled and raised his rifle again, "But only because killing you would be a complete waste of bullets, YEAW!"

"Shut up," said Shatner, walking towards the captives, "Now, seriously, who's in charge here? Where's an adult?"

"I'm in charge, and I AM an adult!" yelled Iawn, again, stepping forward, "I am the Mighty IAWN!"

"Ok, Eon, kid… look here," started Shatner.

"IAWN," said Iawn.

"Iyawn," answered Nate.

"Iawn," said the kid, "Eye-On! Like Ion. You want me to spell it?"

"No! Gah…" said Shatner, rubbing his face, "Iawn… you obviously aren't the leader here… so…"

"Yeah, you're NOT!" chimed in the other kid, "I am the leader. They call me Mr Sir. Name's Leonard Miles."

"Drop dead, Leonard!" said Iawn, shoving him aside, "You couldn't drive your mum down the street!"

"None of us can drive, you boob!" said Leonard, pushing back.

"Hey, shut up!" yelled Shatner, "So… you're telling me there are no adults here? None at all?"

"What you see is what you get!" said Iawn, smiling, "We're all that's left. We're the Army of Iawn!"

"Can you CLAM UP!" yelled Leonard, "You're not our bloody LEADER! Hell, you're name isn't even 'Iawn'. You're name's Gertrude!"

"Gertrude?" said Nate, walking next to Shatner and smiling, "That's kind of funny, Where did 'Iawn' come from?"

Iawn's face turned beat red in anger, and he glared at Leonard.

"Where did you HEAR that?"

"It's right here," said Leonard, and he flashed a card, the threw it at Nate, who caught it.

Iawn reached for it quickly, and when he noticed that he lost it to Nate, he turned bright red, and punched Leonard HARD. Nate looked over the card, and examined it. It was a school ID, and Iawn's face was on it, but the name next to it was NOT Iawn.

"Uh… Gertrude A. Yeilm?" asked Nate, smiling on the inside, "That's your name, 'Mighty Iawn'? Gertrude Yeilm?"

"Piss off, WANKAH!" yelled Iawn.

"Ok, let's all just calm down," said Shatner, "Ok, now you kids go along and play nice. If you're not going to be any help I don't want you to be a nuisance. We have a friend to find."

"I'll kill you," said Iawn, glaring at Leonard, "And you too," he said to Nate.

Nate did his own glare and began to raise his rifle before Shatner placed his hand on his shoulder, "Nobody's shooting anybody!"

"Freeze!" yelled Pandora, from a window. He had somehow appeared from nowhere, and he held the rifle he had very carefully, aiming it at the Brits, "Or I'll shoot YA! I will."

"Hey, Beatle!" said Nate, smiling, "You made it!"

"Yeah, I told you, I'd meet you out on the other side and protect you," said Pandora, smiling.

"Nice job, moron," said Nate again.

Pandora's eyes lit up at the sight of a tank.

"Oh my! Is that a tank?" said Pandora, then he pointed at the building down the street, "Oh my, was that the explosion! Cool! Can we drive it? We need a vehicle anyway. Driving a tank would be SO COOL!"

"Toldja," said Nate, smiling and nodding towards Pandora.

"Ugh… let's get out of here," said Shatner, "We need to get to… wherever."

"What, you're leaving?" said Iawn and Leonard together, and then Iawn continued, 'Why don't you stay. We have a small base, with food!"

"Maybe it's a good idea to rest for the night," said Nate, "We got a long way to go nowhere, maybe a place to sleep and people to… talk to."

"I don't want to sta-" started Shatner.

"Cool! Let's do it!" said Pandora, jumping from the window onto the car and down next to Nate, "We got some new people, AWSOME!"

Nate smiled, and looked at Shatner with a grin, "Two against one, looks like we're staying."

"Great, this way," said Leonard, and he led the group of kids down the road, Pandora following eagerly.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The younger kids led Nate, Shatner, and Pandora through the city, and they played, rough housed, and joked around with one another as if it was like any other day. Pandora seemed perfectly at home with them, and often joked and joshed as well, grinning eagerly. Nate and Shatner followed slightly farther behind, their eyes brows tilted in unison.

"So… what do you think?" asked Nate.

"This is a complete waste of time," said Shatner, "But I am no longer afraid of getting mugged and tied up in my sleep. They're no threat."

"Why don't they have any guns?" asked Nate, examining the bows and makeshift spears.

"This is England, guns are not so common or easy to obtain over here," said Shatner.

Nate crossed his arms and pretended to sulk, "Why couldn't we have landed in Russia? AK-47s for EVERYONE!"

Shatner shook his head and rolled his eyes, "You… you belong walking on the cars with the rest of the children!"

Before Nate could say anything, one of the young Brits walked up in between the two, and held out his hand to be shaken.

"Name's Charles," said the boy, "Charles Afron."

"Charles, huh," said Nate, "You got a nickname? Charlie, Char…. Charazard?"

Shatner shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Well… my brothers used to call me Zach," said the boy.

"Zach? What the hell…" said Nate, "What is WRONG with this country?"

"That's my middle name," said Charles, "Charles Zach Afron."

"Wait," said Shatner, "Zach? Zach Afron? Zac Efron! Oh, come ON!"

"Yeah…" said Charles, "My mum was a fan."

"Great," said Nate, shaking his head, "I can't wait to see your sister, Miley, and your other Sister, Hannah."

"I have neither," said Charles, "But one of my brothers is named Joan, from Jonas."

Nate and Shatner both stopped, and looked at his. The kid shrugged.

"Are your parents still alive?" asked Nate.

"No, died in the war, why?" said Charles.

"Good, because I was going to kill them anyway," answered Nate, continuing to walk.

"Flint!" gasped Shatner, surprised at his comment.

"It's just fine, my mother was self obsessed and my Father hated everything," said Charles, "They got what they deserved. You see, my father started the colony here, but he came down ill and died. He was the only adult."

Nate and Shatner looked at each other, but otherwise said nothing.

"Ever since then, it's been a major battle, sort of like a competition, between those two blokes," said Charles, pointing, "Iawn and Leo."

"Yeah…" said Nate, rubbing his chin, "What a fine selection…"

"I wouldn't worry too much about it," said Charles, "For the most part, they fight and have idle threats but they work together to keep ourselves alive."

"I'm not going to worry," said Shatner, "We're not staying here."

Then, the group of kids took them inside an old amusement park, and into the main administrator building. Even MORE kids were in here, and many gawked and stared at the intruders, the visitors, the Americans.

Nate awkwardly waved whenever he got a chance, but he turned and whispered to Shatner as soon as they were inside the building.

"None of these kids are over 15," said Nate, "What are we going to DO?"

"Not a damn thing," said Shatner, "But I'm so surprised that they've survived this long. No one has even looked for them?"

"We're not going to get all attached or anything… right?" said Nate, "Because…. This is A LOT of people."

"Kids, Nate, kids," said Shatner, "These are a lot of kids. And No we're not going to take them with us. If they survived this long they'll continue to survive. We're just going to need to come back later and rescue them."

They were lead to an area filled with mattresses and sleeping bags and whatever else you can imagine. Kids jumped and wrestled with one another, and Iawn lead Nate and Shatner to what used to be a small childrens show stage. Iawn motioned to some other kids, who flipped on the stage lights and in a matter of seconds kids began massing around the stage. Pandora, seeing what was up, now jumped onto the stage next to Nate and Shatner.

"Listen, my children," said Iawn, "The Mighty Iawn demands your attention. As you can see, I have brought back-"

"Can it, you tart!" yelled Leo, climbing onto the stage and standing next to Iawn, "You are NOT our leader."

Then Leo turned to address the audience, "Our hunting party ambushed two of these three visitors, and they were able to outsmart us, outgun us, and out fight us gloriously in battle."

"There wasn't even a tussle!" yelled Iawn, shoving at Leo, "The great Iawn did NOT command it, so we never truly attacked."

"But we still lost," said Leo, shoving back, "And these blokes chose to spare our lives. They are now our GUESTS!"

There was some clapping and cheers from some of the kids, but for the most part they just stared and listened.

"Now, allow me to introduce you to our GUESTS," said Iawn, "They will now tell us their story, and what they are doing in ENGLAND! So Clam up and sit tight!"

Iawn and Leo walked off the stage, in separate directions, leaving only a few Brits and Shatner, Nate, and Pandora up there. Pandora quickly took several steps backward, leaving only Shatner and Nate. Shatner shook his head and widened his eyes.

"I'm not good at public speaking," said Shatner, and he took a step back.

Nate shrugged, smiled, and stepped forward, easing Shatner's tension and he took a few steps back. Nate stared out at his audience, and took a deep breath.

"Hello," said Nate, "My name is Nathaniel Flint, but please, call me Nate. That is my friend, Shatner, and my other friend…. Uhh….. Bailey…. First name?"

"Brian," said Pandora, rolling his eyes.

"Thanks, Beatle," said Nate, smiling, "Brian. We come from far away, we come from America. Washington D.C.!"

"Are the Americans still alive," asked one kid.

"Are you a spy?" asked another.

"Are you going to go to war with the world, now?"

"Are you going to save us?

"Is Pamela Anderson still alive?"

"What about New York?"

"Are you all dead?"

Nate raised his hands to cut the questions short, and he gave Shatner a weary look.

"Please, all will be told in time," said Nate, "Now… for our story… Uh… well… not too long ago, in Washington DC… we were attacked, by raiders."

"RAIDERS" a burst of questions and exclamations came from the crowd, and Nate yelled for order.

"We will get NOWHERE if you keep doing that!" said Nate, then he calmed down, and continued his story, "So… we were attacked by Raiders. And… they came in… a large NUMBER! Just… wicked big amount. You've never seen so much… deranged and dirty and EVIL individuals."

Now, Nate had them. The kids were completely immersed, and Nathan was getting into it as well. Shatner and Pandora smiled, and Pandora began getting immersed as well.

"They attacked, in the dead of night… They had a helicopter, and a load of trucks with turrets… and soldiers. A lot of soldiers. They took out our guards, and fired at our front gate, BOOM!" Nate began to act out the story, getting more and more into the storytelling, and the kids reacted likewise, "And they came in, Guns-a-blazing! But… they didn't know who they were messing with. Out of the darkness, came… myself and Shatner! Oh, boy you should've SEEN it. Shatner laid down sniper support while I ran forward, beating people with the butt of my gun and cutting them down like GRASS!"

Nate continued story telling, and the audience loved it. After a while, he finished the battle scene and continued talking of cleanup. Shatner and Pandora sat down, towards the back, and listened.

"You know, he's quite talented," said Shatner, "Being a storyteller might be good for him."

"Huh?" said Pandora, being dragged out of the story, "Oh, yes… he is, isn't he? He's spicing up the details, though. I wasn't even there and I know it's crap. Where's he find the RPG to shoot down the chopper?"

"I don't know," chuckled Shatner, then he crossed his arms, "I like it… much better then what really happened."

"How so?" asked Pandora.

"He had no plan of what he was doing," said Shatner, then he got solemn, "I didn't provide any cover… couldn't bring myself to fire a damn shot. They're PEOPLE… they're AMERICANS… they aren't cans or targets…"

"Oh…" said Pandora, and he left it at that.

"Then… we found a map… but not just any map… a TREASURE map," said Nate, and the crowd 'Ooo'd and 'Aw'ed in amazement, 'But it wasn't what you'd expect from a treasure map… it was the location of a BASE. The remnants of the United States Government… hidden, in a distant land. Hidden in… AFRICA!"

The crowd was once again awed, and a hand was raised, "What are you doin in England then?"

"How did you get here?"

"Well," said Nate, "We walked… to an airport and jumped aboard a plane, and began across the ocean… but… then we encountered PIRATES!"

The crowd was awed once more, and many of them leaned forward. Shatner laughed to himself, shaking his head.

"The pirates began firing… and we didn't know what to do? They had an anti-aircraft gun ON THE BOAT!" continued Nate, "And we were hit… but not out."

Nate continued his story, and soon Shatner and Pandora picked up talking again.

"What do you think it's going to be like?" asked Pandora, finally, "The American Government? You think they'll be intact? You think they'll be sane? You think they'll… want to come back? Want to help us?"

Shatner didn't say a thing, "He just shook his head, "I don't know…"

"What if they don't want to help?" asked Pandora, "What do we do then? What if they don't care?"

"If that's the case, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it," said Shatner, finally, crossing his arms, "But… I have faith they'll wake up and help. Besides, we need to worry about finding them first."

"Yeah…" said Pandora, staring at the ground once more.

" 'No… Brom,' said the Neo-Nazi Black Ops Commander," continued Nate, with his story, " 'I… I am your father!' And Shatner's eyes widened. It couldn't be TRUE!"

The audience gasped, and many shook their heads.

"But, Shatner knew the truth, and He whipped out his pistol, and fired the round right into the Neo-Nazi Black Ops Commander's HEAD!" continued Nate, smiling, "And he blew out the smoke from his pistol as the man fell into the dirt, dead. Then, Pandora and I steered the now truly dying plane around, and he jumped form the building into our plane."

"So… What next?" asked Pandora.

'We'll have to discuss it," said Shatner, leaning further back, "But for right now, let's enjoy the rest we get."

About half an our later, Pandora was asleep on the stage. Many of the kids were asleep around the theater as well, but a good amount were now moved up closer to the stage, and Nate was on one knee, still weaving his story of their adventure.

"And I looked into those light blue eyes," said Nate, "And I told her… 'Frankly, My dear…. I Don't give a damn.' And… I walked out of the door. But she knew… she knew what I was really saying was 'I Love You' and that I would be back… when our mission was complete."

Nate's eyes were shimmering with the near existence of tears. Many of the kids teared up as well, Iawn being one of them. Shatner was trying his best to hold back the tears…. But it was mostly from sheer laughter he was also trying to hold back. Nate nodded his head, and continued.

"Then I rejoined Shatner and Pandora… and we left London. Then… we came here. And you know the story from there."

What was left of his crowd clapped and hollered at the completion, and Nate bowed to them smiling in himself.

Shatner got up and patted Nate on the back, waking Nate up out of his own reality and making him blush a bright red.

"So, thank you, thank you," said Shatner, "Well, now that you know what we've been through, it is time for us to be left alone to talk. I think it's probably your bed time anyway."

"Hey," said Iawn, getting up and looking angry, "Who put you in charge? Not ME, so you're NOT in charge." Then he got on the stage and looked towards everyone else, "The Mighty Iawn says that it is now officially BED TIME!"

"I'm gonna hurt you, you wankah," said Leo, getting up on the Stage as well, "Go on, piss off, the lot of ya! Leave them be. Go and do somethin' else!"

Leo and Iawn continued fighting, and walked off, leaving Nate and Shatner standing on the stage, awkwardly watching them leave. Then they moved back where Pandora slept, and they both sat down.

"Interesting story," said Shatner.

"Why, thank you," said Nate, "I'm just glad many of them are too young for the references."

"You had me going at some parts," said Shatner, "Very believable."

"I'm flattered," said Nate, leaning back with his hands crossed behind his head.

"So, we need to talk," said Shatner, "About what to do next. I have no idea."

"Well… We need to get to Africa… and we're in England," started Nate, "I suggest we get to the nearest Airport and-"

"No," burst Shatner, cutting in forcefully, "No more planes unless we get an experienced pilot. Not one!"

"Fine," said Nate, then he thought for a moment, "Hey! Wait… Kevin!"

"Who?" asked Shatner.

"Kevin, you know… ugh! Fkeuitan. Doesn't he hail from Wales?"

"Hail? What are you, a knight, now?" asked Shatner, then he thought for a moment, "Yes, yes he does. Why? You think we should stop by?"

"Yes, that's an awesome idea," said Nate, "He's a friendly, we know there's a settlement there, and he might be able to lend us a hand."

"And it might be fun to meet him in person," said Shatner, "We haven't done that yet."

"Yes," said Nate, "We should head out in the morning."

"Not even, if these kids are going to give us any problems," commented Shatner.

"Well… let's catch some sleep and slip out in a couple of hours, then," said Nate, positioning himself more comfortably in his place and closing his eyes, "Then we'll take off into the night… and sleep more somewhere else."

"Fine," said Shatner, closing his own eyes, "And we'll leave these kids far behind."

They fell asleep, and a few hours later Shatner woke Nate and Pandora. They gathered there things and snuck out of the park. After evading the "guards" they headed out of the city, and started the road towards Wales.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Ok…" said Nate, looking around and smiling, "I wonder, I wonder."

"We need another vehicle," mentioned Pandora, "Any suggestions?"

"Way ahead of you, Beatle," said Nate, "Already had my eye out for another Tank for an hour now."

"If we get a vehicle it is NOT going to be a TANK!" said Shatner, "Drop the tank thing."

They were quiet for a few more steps, and then Nate attempted another topic.

"So… You think Kevin will be happy to see us?"

"He shouldn't be upset, if that's any help," said Shatner, "Just let me do all the talking, ok?"

"I need to go to the bathroom," said Pandora.

"Go… piss over there," said Nate, "Run ahead so we don't leave you behind."

"It's not THAT one…" answered Pandora.

"Hey" yelled a distant voice.

Shatner and Nate looked at each other, then to Pandora, then behind them. Three figures chased after them. Waving their arms and running at full speed.

"Hey, you YANKS," yelled another one, "Wait up!"

"Damn, run," yelled Nate, and he took off, "They found us, they're coming!"

"Knock it off," said Shatner, "We're caught AND followed… we have to at least see what they want."

"Brits…" mumbled Nate, under his breath.

Another few minutes and they had caught up. Nate could then realize that the figures were Iawn, Charles, and Leo. Charles and Leo lay on the ground, gasping for breath, but Iawn tried his best to remain standing and upright.

"You chaps have some splannin' to do!" he said, finally.

"We have some 'splannin' to do?" asked Nate, "Listen here, Ricky, I think you're the ones with the 'splannin' here."

"You left," said Iawn, "You left me behind."

"Yes," said Shatner, "Sorry, we should have thanked you for you… uh… hospitality?"

"We didn't even eat or anything," argued Pandora.

"Now where do you think you're buggin' off to?" asked Leo, putting his hands on his hips.

"We're continuing on," said Shatner, "We got a long road ahead of us. We're sorry."

"Then we're coming too," said Iawn, standing up and puffing out his chest, "You need a leader, a wise man who knows these lands!"

"We already HAVE a leader," said Pandora, then he looked at the others, "I think?"

"Between us having one of HIM leading it?" asked Nate, "Hell yeah we got a damn leader. The positioned is FILLED so…. Yeah!"

"Let us come with you," said Charles, "Please? We want to come too!"

"What? No!" said Nate, "No you cannot come!"

"Why would you want to come with us?" asked Shatner, "You know we're trying to find the remnants of the United States Government, right?"

"Yeah, so?" asked Iawn, "You think we can't make it all to way to Africa? We're ENGLISH! We own Africa!"

Nate sighed heavily and rubbed his head as Charles stepped forward and said "Look, there's nothing left of the England we once knew. Maybe… if we help you… we'll find this… we'll find some help."

Shatner looked at Nate, and Nate shook his head vigorously. Shatner sighed, and looked back at the kids.

"You know… we cannot guarantee anything. Anything at all," said Shatner, "We can't guarantee we'll all make it back alive… We can't guarantee that there's anything even in Africa, we can't even guarantee we'll make it TO Africa."

All three of the kids heads nodded, even Pandora's nodded with them. Nate stepped forward, puffing out his chest.

"What we CAN guarantee is it won't be easy," said Nate, "There'll be danger… there'll be adventure…. There'll be a lot of walking, and lot of EVERYTHING you ever DIDN'T want in your measly LIVES!"

"Yeah," said Leo, high fiving Iawn.

"Like in the films!" replied Iawn.

"Worse, this ain't no movie, son," said Nate, leaning over to stare at Iawn, "This is hell… miles and miles of post-apocalyptic hell. And we're gonna take you right to the CENTER of it."

"How do you know Africa is the center of hell?" asked Iawn, crossing his arms, "Maybe somewhere else is."

"Because Africa was hell before the bombs and lifelessness and war," answered Nate, "And they have disease beyond belief!"

"Alright, then," said Shatner, crossing his arms, "Now that we have stragglers… ok, ok fine, they can come with us to Wales."

All three of the kids broke out in a cheer, and a grin spread on Pandora's face from ear to ear. Then the three stopped, and a confused look crossed them.

"Wales?" asked Leo, "Now why in hells name do you want to go there?"

"There's nothing out there," said Iawn, "Except… rain and ponds and sheep."

"Still better then those Northerners," said Leo.

"Bloody F***, yeah," answered Iawn, high fiving him.

"We have a contact there," answered Shatner, "We're going to need what they have there. Alright? It's important."

"Fine, then let's go already!" said Iawn, "we gonna stand here till tea?"

"Ok, wait, first," said Nate, stepping forward and pointing at the three, "We don't go ANYWHERE with three jungle children, Savy?"

"What?" asked Charles, tilting his head.

"We need to make a stop somewhere before we get to Wales," said Nate, pointing at the ratty and too-small clothes the three boys now wore, "I am NOT gay but these kids are gonna make us look better if they didn't look like a scene from Oliver. Let's MOVE OUT!"

Down the road, they took a detour into a small town. Lucky for them, in that town was a very large store devoted to clothes and several dedicated to outdoor gear. They ducked inside, and did a quick sweep of the place, and then they met back at the front door.

"Ok, I hope you spotted something you like," said Nate, looking at the English kids, "I know I have. Now let's be quick, go nuts!"

The three Brits, as well as Pandora, took off and began checking out different types of clothes. Shatner shook his head and looked at Nate.

"Well… maybe they'll be happier with clothes that fit," he admitted, "I'm going to look around and gather what we might need. Including maybe some guns or something."

"Oh, come on," said Nate, "I'm going to baby sit?"

"That's what you get," said Shatner, smiling, "Don't burn the place down."

:Aw, come on," complained Nate, and he continued until Shatner walked away, and was out of earshot, "Yes…"

Nate smiled and took off into the store. A few minutes later, everyone was trying on something or throwing clothes into the air.

Nate approached Pandora, who was trying to find himself a leather work coat, similar to one Nate and Shatner wore. Pandora looked over, and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Nice hat?" asked Pandora, smiling slightly, "Indy."

Nate slid his hand along the brim of the brown Fedora he had found and he smiled. His goggles were over his eyes, and he stood a little more heroically.

"Why, thanks Brian," said Nate, "You have no idea how much this has made my day…. And it fits!"

"You like that style?" asked Pandora.

"I had one not long ago," said Nate, "Even kept it through the war. It fell apart one day… too much wear and tear. It broke my heart."

"Sorry to hear that," said Pandora, laughing a little bit.

"I called it!" yelled Iawn from somewhere else in the store.

"Screw you!" yelled Charles.

"I will! Right up the arse! All night long," yelled Iawn again, and a smash was heard.

Nate shook his head, almost laughing, "Oh my… anyway. Plus, the ladies dig the Fedora."

"Yeah, sure they do," said Pandora, shaking his head.

"You got a girl, Pandora?" asked Nate.

"No… not really," said Pandora.

"You got your eye on a girl?" asked Nate again, emphasizing a little more.

"Well…" said Pandora.

"Oh, hey hey," said Nate, getting a little excited, jumping over an overturned shelving unit and he got closer to Pandora, "Spill the details, dude."

"No, it's nothing," said Pandora, "Just… a girl back at DC."

"Oh…" said Nate, smiling smugly, "So… what have you done to get her heart, huh?"

"I haven't done anything," said Pandora, "Just some talk, you know… help her out with things."

"Help her out? Right on! Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow," said Nate, smiling to himself, "Alright, so… what are you going to do when we get back?"

"What do you mean?" asked Pandora.

"You know, to steal her heart," answered Nate, "Sweep her off her feet."

"We're hopefully bringing back some help… so… that should be a big deal," answered Pandora.

"No, no, that makes you a hero, not a White Knight," said Nate, shaking his head, "There's a difference. You have to make her feel incredibly special. Somehow make her feel like she's the reason you lived or something. For instance…"

Nate jumped onto the counter of a watch and cufflink section and grabbed one of the wilted flowers from a hanging basket.

"You need to give her an African flower, look deep into her eyes, and say, 'I traveled all the way to Africa to get you this flower… because it reminds me of you.' Or, you can say it matches her eyes or something."

"Her eyes are brown," said Pandora, crossing his arms.

Nate nodded, thinking, "Brown is good, everything matches with brown."

Pandora shook his head and rolled his eyes, walking away without anything.

"I'll stick with my sweatshirt," said Pandora.

"Fine, whatever," said Nate, "But I tried to help you, that's all."

"Ok, we're ready," said Iawn, and Nate turned around, sighing heavily.

Iawn, Charles, and Leo all looked like buffed out Pillsbury Doughboys. They had put on a lot of clothes, and they could barely walk.

"Whata re you doing?" asked Nate.

"These are nice clothes," said Leo, "We couldn't just LEAVE them."

"Well, you're gonna have to," said Nate, "Get your butts back there and pick 1 set which you're willing to travel MILES in, please."

All three of them sighed and turned around, wobbling away.

"Good God," said Nate, shaking his head, "Well… maybe they could keep it and it'll act as cushioning… or bullet proofing."

Nate continued to think about that as he walked around the store, just gazing at what was there. A half hour later they all gathered back at the front of the store and Nate smiled.

"Alright," said Nate, then he looked around, and didn't see Shatner, "Alright, now, who's hungry?"

Shatner sat alone on top of one of the buildings. He had an extra rifle by his side, and a bag of supplies. Medicine, band-aids, things like that. He had found them in this barber shop, and now he sat, satellite phone out and looking into the distance. He had a shopping cart on the street below he had filled with bags and supplies as well, and hopefully the cart would last quite a ways before they had to carry all the luggage themselves.

"You there, Zurom?" asked Shatner.

"Yeah," said Zurom, "What's on your mind?"

"Oh, I was just thinkin'," said Shatner, "We've gained three stragglers, have barely any plan at all… UGH! What about you, you find anything?"

"Well… after a brief scan of the entire North African Civilized areas I see no… respectable fortresses or castle like structures in the works or made. Such a structure would be pivotal to locating an essence of a military base and final government structure in… modern times. And let's not forget the Sahara Desert… I can't find a damn thing out there."

"Nothing…" said Shatner, leaning back and giving out a loud sigh.

"Keep in mind I am not very skilled in using these yet. I need some military programs and maybe a training program to access the real features that would 'yay' or 'nay' this." Continued Zurom.

Shatner sighed heavily to himself, shaking his head and frowning. A lot of thoughts rushed through his head, and he suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion.

"What if it isn't there?" asked Shatner, suddenly, "What if we came all this way for some… stupid rumor that isn't even true! What if someone gets hurt, or worse? It's my fault, MY fault. I volunteered to go on this stupid adventure to find… I DON'T KNOW! I didn't even think we'd make it this far…"

"Well," said Zurom, "So what if it is? So what if it isn't?"

"What?" asked Shatner, suddenly, "What do you mean, 'So What'? If we travel half way across this stupid planet for some shred of hope at some stupid-"

"Right there," said Zurom, calmly cutting Shatner off, "A shred of hope. Do you really think that's not worth getting?"

"Well…" stuttered Shatner, "It's just… it's not that's it's not worth getting…. But… Ugh! Are we even getting it?"

"Listen, that boy… uhh…. Pandora but his name is… Brian in real life?" asked Zurom.

"Brian Bailey, yeah," stated Shatner.

"Tell me how he's been handling this whole experience," said Zurom.

"Oh, he's have a ball," said Shatner, almost laughing, "He has NO idea how screwed we are right now. He's just… under this impression we're doing something important. He smiles and fools around with these British kids we found and… they just don't 'get' it. I just… He just has…"

"Great Hope," said Zurom, "He has unyielding faith. Not in the American Dream or the hope there's still a US government, but in you, Shatner. In you and Nate, that you'll get them through it and that you will have a plan when and if you get to Africa and nothing IS there. That's why. He has that Shred of Hope."

"Well…" said Shatner, feeling defeat, "What about the colony? We're supposed to be getting help."

"Then get help," said Zurom, "North Africa isn't the only place in the world with people. Far from it."

"Who knows, it might be the only thing left," said Shatner, then he paused and said, "Or it might be all some large and wild story. Good for nothing!"

"Nothing? What did we just talk about," said Zurom, then he sighed and continued, "Look, even if it is nothing, this is what the United States needs, this is what all of us need. Every human. Humans thrive off stories, and sometimes… a story, real or fake, gives us what we need to carry through hard times."

Shatner nodded, then looked at his watch. It was far past time for him to meet up with the guys. He said his fair well to Zurom, and headed off of the roof. Pushing the small cart down the street, he calmly looked into the shops and houses on the side as if strolling through the supermarket. A loud sound caught his attention, and he jumped. From a nearby café, a radio began to blare, and Shatner recognized a guitar riff being played, then a drum beat. He walked cautiously towards the café, and peered inside.

Nate did some sort of dance on the café counter, singing into a ketchup bottle, and he wore some sort of…. Indiana Jones hat. Pandora danced inside the kitchen, and the three Brits were dancing and hollering around the diner, throwing napkins and plates around. Shatner stood by the door, and shook his head, an amused smile barely showing on his face.

"On the floor of Tokyo-oh! Or down in London town to go, go: with the record selection, and the mirror's reflection, I'll be dancin' wit myself-elf!" sang Nate, softly with the loud voice of Billy Idol over his, "When there's no one else in sigh-ight. In a corwded an' lonely nigh-ight! Well I wait so long for tha' love vibration I'll be dancin' wit myself-elf!"

"So let's sink, another drink!" continued the three Brits, and they continued singing.

Nate jumped from the counter, into the kitchen, throwing down a thing of French fries and flipping a few burgers that grilled on stove and he slammed a wrench into some sort of tank, which roared to life. Nate turned around to the counter and smiled to himself.

"Welcome to the Good-Burger, home of the 'Good Burger', can I take your ooordeeeer?" he yelled, then he spotted Shatner and waved, "Hey, Brom! This place still had electricity. Fries and burger making stuff are ok. Not the best, but who cares? Soda is always good, so I'm not worried too bad. It's like a free meal here!"

Shatner shook his head, and entered the café. He looked around, then sat at a bar stool nearby. He leaned in towards Nate.

"I didn't think you could cook," said Shatner.

"McDonald's, two years," said Nate, winking, "I can't cook, but I can guess. Besides, this will be good stuff."

"Look… you really think this whole trip is a good idea?" asked Shatner, pulling Nate in closer.

"Yeah, our three boyscouts over there looked like they'd eaten the Alice and Wonderland cookies. Now they probably feel better in new clothes," said Nate, "Besides, look what I found. Extreamly rare in Europe, and I FOUND one. Boo-Yeah!"

Nate slid his hand across the brim of his hat, and smiled at Shatner. Shatner nodded his head and then shook it.

"No… I mean this whole thing, this WHOLE trip," said Shatner.

"Oh, oh yeah. I totally think that finding Kevin will help us out greatly," said Nate, "Besides, I always wanted to meet him. He seemed like a nice… bearded guy. And some civilization would be nice, too."

"No," burst Shatner, placing his head into the palm of his hand, "Ugh! The whole Africa thing!"

An alarm went off in the Kitchen, and Nate jumped back, "Fries and Burgers, dude. Talk later!"

"Gah!" said Shatner, but he leaned back and shook his head, then chuckled at the antics of the British kids before turning around and yelling, "No onions on mine! Extra Pickles."

"No pickles," yelled back Nate.

"Dang!" said Shatner, but he was still smiling.

The Brits armed up outside, now taking on their share of the supplies and the load. Shater's surplus of supplies was a good find, but he found a lot of medical supplies. More then they could carry. So, it was voted on they'd keep the cart for as long and as far as they could while keeping an eye out for some sort of vehicle.

Now it came down to who got the new rifle Shatner had found in a barber shop. Nate, Pandora, and Shatner looked over the three British kids, and shook their heads.

"Do we have to arm them?" asked Nate, "I always imagined giving them sticks and having them run at any danger while we flanked them."

"Or ran away," said Pandora.

"Well… Charles is out, he's the youngest," said Shatner.

"Hey!" pouted Charles, and he crossed his arms around his crossbow.

"Yeah, but I don't trust a gun in either of the other two's hands," burst Nate.

"Oh, come on…" said Leo, "I probably got more training then any of these other kids."

"Don't give me a gun, I'll shoot him," said Iawn, pointing to Leo.

"Hey," barked Leo, pushing Iawn and starting a small scuffle between them.

Nate walked over and broke them up, "Knock it off!"

"Piss off, wankah!" yelled Iawn.

"I'll knock you block off," yelled Leo back, "You overstuffed turkey!"

"I said, can it," said Nate, suddenly letting go and allowing the two boys to lunge together, knocking each other's head and falling to the ground.

Shatner rolled his eyes, and examined the rifle.

"All three of you aren't ready for this!" he yelled, "But Iawn IS the only one with the arm strength to lift and properly fire this weapon for miles and miles."

"Yes!" burst Iawn, jumping up, "Suck on that cock, bitch!"

"No fair and not true!" argued Leo.

"Look, Leo, you're the best crossbow shot out of all of us," reasoned Shatner, "And I promise, one screw up by Iawn and we'll shoot him and you'll get it, or the next gun we come across we'll give to you. The thing is we simply don't have enough for everyone, but I don't even think we'll need them. It's not that long until we reach whales."

Iawn grasped the rifle eagerly, and stuck out his tongue at Leo.

"How does it taste, ass-kissah," muttered Leo.

"Like your mother's dead ass-hole after she's taken a HUGE S***," said Iawn, smugly smiling as he examined his rifle.

"You… have a lot of problems," said Nate, taking two steps back from Iawn.

"Damn right, I do," said Iawn, laughing to himself.

"Ok…" said Shatner, "Now that that is done, let's head off. We'll keep an eye out for some shop or something that might have more weapons but that is not our mission. Our mission right now, is to get to Whales."

"I thought it was Africa," said Leo.

"It is Africa, but right now we got a side mission," said Shatner.

"Wouldn't that be an objective?" asked Charles.

"They're right, that would be more like a mission objective," said Pandora.

"Ok, Shut up!" yelled Shatner, shaking his head, "We are heading to Whales, that's FINAL!"

"Ok," said Nate, and he headed off down the road.

The others followed, and they began their usual rough housing and joking antics. One of them began to whistle, and the others joined in. Shatner gave out a large sigh as Nate and Pandora joined in as well, and before long they were all whistling to a tune.

"Not again," whined Shatner, "Why me? Why me? I hate this trip… why does it always have to be me?"

"Cuz I have walked five 'undered miles and I will walk five 'undered more," said Nate, "To be the man who walks a-thousand MILES to wind up at your door."

"When I wake up," sang Leo, "Yeah you know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to YOU!"

"You realize how you faggots sound right now?" said Iawn, "Singing about waking up next to each other."

"Screw you, pal," said Nate, "The song is about traveling to see a lovely lady."

"Then why doesn't it go, 'When I'm f***in, you know I'm gonna be," started Leo.

"No," said Nate, "You're ruining the song."

"Because if he was talking to a girl about when she knows he's f***in then why in the name of pornography would she NOT know if it wasn't her," said Iawn, "That would make him a liar and it means he screwed everyone from point A to point B and would, therefore, make the song AWSOME!"

"Ok, that song's ruined," said Nate.

"How long before I kill you all?" asked Shatner.

"Like this? I give another mile before they're all dead," said Nate.

"Wanna bet?" said Shatner.

"Money doesn't mean anything anymore, so I'd put 5 dollars down," said Nate.

"You ruined the bet," sighed Shatner, and he continued about walking.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"I don't know, it just didn't seem… as original as I would've wanted," said Pandora, shrugging, "Weed Valley and Indian Woman were, like, the same movie."

"Dude, who cares," said Nate, "Profile Pic was the best movie EVER! Did you see those visual effects?"

"I must admit," added Shatner, "As long as they tell that similar story in a new and unique way, then technically it's just as good as a brand new story."

"I loved the movie because Nistrious was half naked!" said Iawn.

"Yeah, hot, sexy, alien women for the win," agreed Leo.

"It was CGI," said Nate, rolling his eyes, "Big… deal."

"Land-Ho!" yelled Charles, pointing forward.

"Heh heh, 'ho'," laughed Iawn, high-fiving Leo.

They had just passed a small hill, and now they could clearly see a large, walled-in settlement. It rested on the sea coast, inside the restored ruins of some sort of harbor. It spread out, much bigger then the DC settlement did, but the vast majority was walled-in farmlands and grazing fields for different types of livestock. A very large satellite dish rested near the more building-filled end, and when Shatner spotted this he smiled very big.

"This is the place," said Shatner.

"Right," said Nate, "Kevin should be down there. Now all we need to do is not get shot."

"Then be careful what you say," said Shatner, "Come on."

Shatner lead the way, heading down the hill towards the settlement. Nate walked backwards, speaking to the others while they walked.

"Now, you kids better not screw this up," said Nate, "You, you keep your frickin' little perverted head down," said Nate, pointing at Iawn, "I will slit your throat and burry you without a second thought. You, You'll be gone as well if I think that for ANY reason you threat the mission. I'll bury you next to Iawn," said Nate, pointing at Leo, "You… I'm stuck with YOU. Don't screw up or I'll… take away your gun and let Shatner kill you," said Nate, to Pandora, "And Charles… keep…. Being quiet and doin' whatcha doin'. You're a good kid."

"Hey," barked Iawn, Leo, and Pandora together.

"That kinda hurt," said Pandora.

"Remember that pain, and do as we say," said Nate, "Oh, and shoulder your weapons. We don't want to look opposing. That would be stupid."

The four younger ones gave a look to one another, and they nodded. Nate turned around, and followed Shatner down the road to the hill. It was another half hour before they were close, and Nate lowered the goggles he kept with him over his eyes, and slowly took the safety off his gun. Shatner watched uneasily.

"Not wanting to seem… opposing?" he asked uneasily.

"If anything goes down, it's just me and you," said Nate, "I'd rather be the opposing one."

"Ok…" said Shatner, returning his eyes to the large wall they now approached.

This wall made the one back at D.C. look like paper. It was build of stone, and like a medieval castle has towers and peepholes all around the perimeter. They could find no one as they scanned the wall, and similarly heard not a word as they approached a massive metal gate that they assumed was the best way inside. They soon were very close, and Nate and Shatner looked at one another. They nodded, and stood outside the gate.

"Hello!" yelled Pandora, who was immediately lightly backhanded by Nate.

"Is anybody there?" yelled Shatner, also receiving a blow from Nate.

"You guys are terrible at this," said Nate, shaking his head.

A figure up on the wall jerked into view, as if pushed by another. He stumbled a little, then pointing his gun at the group.

"Uh…" stumbled the Man, "You are completely surrounded… right now. Drop your weapons! Put them on the GROUND!"

"Oh, not this again," said Nate, shaking his head.

"Look, we come in peace," said Shatner, holding out his gun in a submissive way, "We're looking for a friend, a friend from the WWBC."

"We… don't… have any WWBC connection here!" yelled back the man.

"Oh, good," said Nate, "Now we know what the dish is for. Satellite TV, right? You think we're dumb, boy?"

"Hey, calm down," said Shatner, "You're going to get us shot."

"Better a fight then us be sent away because of an idiot," said Nate.

"We're looking," yelled Shatner, "For a friend of ours on the network. We've come a long way."

"We're lookin' for fukytude….tan," said Nate.

"Who?" said the man.

"Fkeutan," corrected Shatner.

"Fukui….tooie…. oie tan…" said Nate, rubbing his chin.

"No, that isn't it," said Shatner.

"This is why I'm Comedianmasta, you're Shatnerpossum, and he's Pandora. No CONFUSION in those damn names," said Nate.

"What's WWBC?" asked Iawn.

"Can it," said Shatner and Nate together.

"FKEUITAN," yelled the man from the wall, "It's fkeuitan. Fuh-kay-Oo-E-TAN. Fkeuitan."

"Well, good lord," said Nate, "You sound just like him. The fact is we just call him 'Kevin'."

"Oh my god," said the man, "Shatner? Comedian? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Kevin?" said Nate and Shatner together.

"What are the odds," said Nate, almost laughing, "Get your Whale of an ass down here and greet your guests!"

"What are you doing here?" asked Kevin again, but he did not stay for an answer, he disappeared from view.

Nate and Shatner looked at one another, and Nate smiled.

"Say it," said Nate.

"What?" asked Shatner.

"This was a fricken good idea," said Nate, "Say it."

"This whole trip is a bad idea," said Shatner.

The massive door clanked and creaked, but then gave way and broke in two, opening to reveal the inside of the wall. Nate and Shatner smiled, but then their smiles disappeared as a squad of very large men with guns hustled out of the gate, aiming at them.

"Oh, s***," said Shatner, taking an involuntary step back.

"More friends of yours?" asked Charles, who began breathing heavier.

"I thought these were Whales, not Apes," said Nate, raising his gun as well.

And there they stood, locked in a stalemate of interest, unease between the men and the group.

A large man followed by another man, who wasn't so small himself, walked from behind the guards, and walked into the small circle that had been made. Nate recognized one of them as the man who was on the wall, he recognized Kevin.

"Who's your leader?" said the man, standing tall.

Nate saw he was obviously some leader of theirs. He was large, a beast of a man, and had a large beard that was braided in some parts and left alone in others. He had dark, set in eyes, and he held a maul in his hands, like it was some sort of large, double headed, battle axe from the Viking era. Nate was wondering whether to let out a laugh or shiver. These men were wearing furs and beards like it was a thousand or so years ago, and they wore jeans and pants to remind Nate they had not time traveled since three minutes ago.

"I am," declared Iawn, stepping forward and bunching out his chest.

Nate rolled his eyes, and stepped forward. He placed one foot next to Iawn's and shoved at his shoulders, sending Iawn to the ground. Nate puffed up his own chest, and tilted one eyebrow.

"How can I help you, William Wallace?" asked Nate.

"Wrong country," said Shatner.

"What does it matter, they're all the same country now," spat back Nate, "United Kingdom, remember?"

"Then it's the wrong SIDE of the country," argued Shatner.

"THIS IS WHALES!" yelled the man suddenly, sending Nate back.

Nate almost laughed, then, getting over the shock, then he puffed his own chest and pointed back at the man, "THIS-IS-SPARTA! Ha, ha. Calm down, there, Conan. Just state your case."

"You are trespassing," said the large man, beginning to turn red, "You are on our land."

"It's the end of the world and you treat a once-in-an-apocalyptic-lifetime guests like this?" asked Nate, cocking his eyebrows once more.

The man seemed taken aback, and rethought the situation, rubbing his head. Nate knew he had not thought of that, and odds are it had been a long, long time since they met travelers or visitors who were not begging for their aid and fortress solitude.

"That, and we know our boy here from the network," said Nate, "How's it goin, Kevin?"

"I'm quite well," asked Kevin, "How the hell did you guys GET here? And whoa re these?"

Shatner stepped forward, pushing Nate slightly to the side to share his stage.

"It's a long story, look we're just traveling, we want no fight, we're friendly," said Shatner, smiling, "And… it's a long story, and to be honest I'd much better prefer that we share it over a nice fire and a warm soup."

"So you think that you'll just come in, eat our food and use up our campfire space, then leave in exchange for a few traveler's tales?" said the man, returning to his angry mood.

"Of coarse not," said Nate, smiling, "We have money."

"Paper money is NO GOOD here," said the man, crossing his arms with the axe in hand.

Nate shrugged, looking at Shatner, "It was worth a shot."

"We got medicine," said Shatner, smiling, "A lot of it, here."

Shatner pulled up the battered cart, which had made it from the small town. SHatner was smart to take out a lot of the stuff they absolutely needed to carry onto, because it looked as if Shatner was offering the entire contents of the cart, including batteries, flashlights, water, some food, and other tools and nick-nacks he had swiped in a just-in-case phenomena.

The large man's face lit up, and several of the guard standing around lowered their guns, smiles and whispers appearing on their face. The large man stepped forward, and examined the contents of the cart. Then, his eyes filled with tears, and he began to sob, the entire mass of his large, muscular body shaking.

Nate and Shatner looked at each other, and the four kids behind them began to giggle and laugh at the scene.

"So it's a deal then?" asked Nate, smiling and holding out his hand for a shake.

"Thank you, travelers!" yelled the man through a sob, and he dropped the maul and rushed over, embracing Nate in his vice-like grip. Nate's feet were taken right off the ground, and Shatner took three steps back, holding his hands up.

"My wife and Daughter," said the man, still crying on Nate's shoulder, "They are ill, dying of a common illness. These medicines will save them, they will save so MANY!"

"Your… welcome," sputtered Nate, as he wiggles and squirmed to try and free himself, "but…you…"

"For all the contents of the cart, you will be family," exclaimed the man through more sobs, "you will be HEROS!"

"Heros!" exclaimed the guards, and the ones on the wall as well as those standing around lifted their rifles and began to cheer.

Leo and Charles locked elbows, and began to jig in a circle, throwing their hands in the air as well singing "Heros, heros!" Iawn held out his hands, and bowed, exclaiming, "Thank you, thank you! Yes, I found the medicine and it was my idea to bring them, thank you, thank you!" Pandora smiled and, nodded, but looked towards Shatner for advice.

Shatner had joined in with the hollering and cheers of the guards, a large smile spread across his face. They were looking up to him.

"Deal," said Shatner.

"Air…" mumbled Nate, his eyes rolling into the back of his head, "Release….me!"

The man suddenly let go, but grasped onto Nate's shoulders, which was good because Nate was ready to fall to his knees and pass out. He whipped the tears from his eyes, and a smile replaced his scowl of earlier.

"This is a great day," he yelled, and it was heard even out of earshot, "Today is the day our Father has sent us salvation in the form of these travelers! Today is the day we have concord Satan and his minions, and SURVIVED THIS WORLD!"

More cheers, and even a light song broke out among the guards, and all the action had attracted a small crowd inside the gate, who was beginning to get excited as the news went from one to the other, like wildfire.

"Quickly now," said the man, "Inside, inside, get this medicine to the doctor, and let's get some prime beef into the bellies of these heroes! And Tonight, we dine like KINGS! I want pork, I want Bacon, WE WILL HAVE WHINE!"

More exclamations of happiness came and the guards rushed inside, and the group was flocked inside like sheep being lead by a heard of shepherds The four boys ate it all up, but Nate and Shatner made their way to Kevin, who wasn't as happy as the rest.

"How's life, dude?" asked Nate.

"Good, good," said Kevin, "Hey, don't think I'm a jerk or anything, but there is NO way you two are Heroes and meant to bring this here."

"Oh, no, completely by chance," said Shatner, "But I'm glad we could help."

"Don't get me wrong, I am too," said Kevin, "Where have you guys BEEN? What the hell is going on?"

"Stay close," said Nate, "We'll tell you the story, tonight on Chronicle."

"I think it's best I tell it this time," said Shatner, "It's my turn."

"Good idea," blushed Nate.

"It better be good," said Kevin, shaking his head.

"It's actually more retarded then anything else," said Shatner, "Trust me, I would never have come along if I had any IDEA…"

Shatner was cut off, because somehow, a large song had broken out, and he looked around, seeing that their little parade had become just that, a parade. It seemed like the entire country of Whales had poured out of the hills to sing and dance and cheer and throw little rocks (rice was food, remember) and even give some gifts of flowers and the like. Nate and Shatner couldn't help but look at each other and smile, soaking it up while it lasted.

Shatner had time to take a look around the settlement. It was bigger then D.C., but they did not have the recourses to be more technologically advanced as D.C. was. They appeared to have no water filters or the like, so they had several small rivers diverted to flow right through the settlement and fields of the animals, and they had many different areas where rain water was gathered. Farms and live stalk were more numerous then in D.C. but were tended for with more primitive tools. Even in D.C. machinery and enhancements helped double their production rate. Birds and crows were hunted without mercy, here, as well. A single scarecrow sat in the middle of one field, but several camouflaged men with rifles picked off the birds that just couldn't hold out any longer, and dived in for the coveted seeds and food that they could eat or fly away with.

The houses, as well, were more advanced and yet primitive then in D.C. Electricity only went to a few, more important houses and buildings in the area, the rest seemed to be based around a campfire and live stalk pen. Shatner turned up his nose to the thought of having animals right there in the house, but he was sure it was probably some way to take ownership of a heard or a flock or some way to keep a better eye on the animals during the night. Many of the homes also had small home-gardens where flowers, tomatoes, grapes, or some other small food could grow outside a window or on a front "lawn".

The singing and dancing seemed to have continued until they were inside a huge meeting house of some sort. A large bonfire like this was at one side, as well as an equally large fireplace not far away, and covering the rest of the distance was a very large and quite thick, made of wood of the kind Nate could not identify, table that stretched from the large bonfire to the door. It reminded Nate of the medieval halls and their large dining tables.

A few moments later, and their group was situation right next to the fire, where stew and meat and a large amount of other dishes were hastily being prepared. The large man from before sat four older men (and one woman) around them, and he and another larger man sat down as well, Kevin sitting next to Nate and Shatner.

"Now, our young heroes," said the big burly man, "Meet our elders. They know vividly about time before the ash, and three of them are historians and know a lot about survival without technology."

The elders nodded, and Nate and Shatner gave a weak smile.

"They also know how far we've come since the dark ages, and how long, or short, we will last without certain commodities."

"Com… what?" asked Nate.

"Certain necessities," whispered Shatner, "Well, we're glad you appreciate it and we can stay but we're not heroes, please."

"Oh, but you are! You are!" said the burly man, "So, what are the names of our medicine men!"

"My Name's Brom, Brom Shatner, this is Nate Flint," introduced Shatner, "There's our little crew. We got Brian, Leonard, uhh….. Charlie, and…. Iawn."

"Gertrude," chuckled Nate, then his face went straight and his eyebrows rose, "Oh my gosh… you know what I just realized? Gertrude A. Yeilm….. G,A,Y…. his frickin' initials spell GAY! Oh My Gosh!"

"Anyway," said Shatner, "The three younger ones-"

A crash was heard, and Pandora and Iawn squirmed with each other on the ground, fighting over a bread roll which seemed to have been laid between them and they now wrestled for it.

"Four, the four youngest are technically not with us," said Shatner, rolling his eyes.

"They're cannon fodder," said Nate, smiling, "We'll also eat them when food runs out."

"Well, I am Horton," said the large man, "But people around here call me Hort. You've met my son, I see."

"Him?" said Nate, pointing at Kevin, "Kevin?"

"Who?" questioned Hort.

"Yes, yes I am," answered Kevin, "My father runs most of the security here, and is very influential."

"So, what is your story," asked Hort, leaning in slightly.

"Well, it all started," said Nate.

"I think I should take this one," interrupted Shatner, and he leaned forward himself to tell the story.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The feast was long, and although the food itself was small in quantity, Shatner and Nate did not complain once. Mashed Potatoes, Pork and BBQ Sauce, fruit and vegetables in stews and salads. Nate and Shatner could not believe that they had just, a moment ago, been in a wasteland of an apocalyptic world.

"What would you like me to fill your cup with?" asked a nice woman who gawked and Nathan.

Nate smiled at her, but then his brain kicked in and he swalled, holding up one hand, "You, by any chance, wouldn't have any Mountain Dew, would you?"

"Mountain What?" asked Hort.

"Mountain Dew, it's a soda," said Nate, his hopes slowly dying with their lack of knowledge about it.

"Oh, we finished off all soda pop a while ago, Mr. Flint," said the girl, "But, here, have some fine Ale, brewed right here."

She smiled widely and poured a brownish, murky mixture into Nate's cup before walking away, blushing. Nate smiled uneasily, before staring into his cup, furrowing his brow.

"I'm sure it's fine," said Shatner, "Maybe it'll be a little strong but it should be fine alcohol."

"I don't drink," said Nate.

Shatner chuckled a little bit before nodding his head towards the cup, "Well, take a swig, tell me how it goes."

Nate lifted the cup to his lips, before half-coughing it up again. His throat was on fire, and he smiled, this is JUST as he assumed whisky would taste like. He didn't want to be rude, so he smiled at Hort and the others watching and he took another sip.

"So," said Shatner, finally, "Our story. You see, I bet it was no mystery by now that we're not from here. We're Americans. Well, all of us except those three, who we picked up around Birmingham."

"What are you doing in Wales?" asked Kevin.

"Well, you see, we've hit setback after setback," said Shatner, "Landing us outside Birmingham. So, we need to get to North Africa. You see, we're chasing a belief that before the war, before the bombs fell, a large portion of the American Government disappeared, along with a good portion of the Military. We believe they went to the official 'fallout bunker' but the idea is that the fallout bunker is not located in or around the United States, that they, in fact, had a large-scale one in North Africa."

"Sounds like a goose chase," said Hort, "Figures, in America they hear it's somewhere else, in everywhere else they hear it is America, like always."

"Well, that fact of the matter is, goose chase or not, if they are there… if anything is there, it's worth the trip," said Shatner, nodding his head, "The American people… they need hope if nothing else, they need something to believe in. So, that's why we're looking. Because finding ANYTHING is better then finding NOTHING."

"Oh… god… I don't feel so good," said Nate, before giving off a goofy smile," or do I? Please, another drink! These cups are empty!"

Shatner looked over and gawked in surprise. Nate had downed his cup, and the cups of four others around him who weren't paying attention.

"Slow down, you," said Shatner, "You'll get sick."

"So, what are you looking for here?" said Hort, flexing slightly in his seat, "We can't help ye get to Africa. It's too dangerous."

"Yes, we know," said Shatner, nodding, "But if you could just get us to France or Spain or somewhere then that could mean the world."

"Nope," said Hort, shaking his head, "Can't do it."

'What?" said Shatner and Kevin together.

"It's just a ride across the canal," said Nate, "You have boats, you have enough land for what I assume is a small plane or a helicopter? You can't just-"

"Look, Hero," said Hort, adjusting his position on his stool, "You've done a good thing here, alright? You've helped us for many, many more years to come. But you need to believe me when I say I cannot risk any of our recourses on your goose chase lookin' for leprechauns."

"But, you have boats… it's just France," said Shatner, in surprise.

"Look, we're very lucky with what our Father in Heaven has given us," said Hort, "Families, a home, flocks and herds, boats for our great fishin' industry, and the ability to harvest and regrow wood from a local forest in such a way that we will have a great amount of firewood for years to come! Now to risk it all for a goose chase… I'm sorry. You're goin' to hafta do this one on your own. Look, we have nothin' against America. The Welsh and Americans have a good history and will for as long as one or the other shall stand. And, you have done us a great service here, so you are always welcome here, but you MUST understand why I cannot."

Shatner shook his head, and sighed heavily, "No, no I cannot. But I know I'm not getting anywhere anyway. Do you mind if we use your WWBC connection?"

"As you wish, you are fully welcome here at all times. Use it whenever you like," said Hort, and he began laughing and pointing.

Shatner sighed and stared off in the direction of his pointing, and his eyes widened with surprise at Nate standing on the table further down and dancing to a fiddle and a flute, preparing for a song.

"Well, the Night that Patty Murphy died is a night I'll never forget," started Nate, a cup of, what Shatner assumed was, brew in his hands, "Somma the boys got loada drunk and they AIN'T been sober yet! As long as the bottle was passed around every man was feelin' gay. Luis came with the bagpipe, some music for to PLAY!"

The music picked up, and a lot of those standing around nearby began to sing along with Nate's enthusiastic singing and dancing, almost falling down several times, and he knocked food aside and did elaborate jumps and twists.

Kevin was laughing next to Shatner, scratching his beard which had began to grow in like his father's, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was Irish to the core."

"Oh no," said Shatner, shaking his head, "Just an idiot. A really, retarded idiot."

"Come on, I'll show you to the WWBC," said Kevin.

"Hold on, I need to get my circus," said Shatner, tapping Leo and Pandora on the backs of their heads, and pulling Charles down from the table before he could stand erect to dance as well. Iawn was flirting with two Welsh girls and flexing his non-existent muscles for them before Shatner walked passed and grabbed one of his bent arms and dragged him along after him.

Then Shatner got to Nate, and he waited next to the table, watching the wobbling, dancing fool sing and lead a chorus of Welsh people in this strange party tune. He didn't have to wait long, before Nate slipped on a bowl of mash and fell backwards, into the arms of Shatner, who caught him quickly in surprise. Shatner shook his head and Nate, who smiled goofily.

"You done, Captain Flint?" said Shatner.

"I… really don't drink," said Nate, beginning to slur his words, "Really, I don't."

"Yeah, no crap, come on, you are surprisingly heavy!" said Shatner, who propped Nate up with one arm and they began to walk out of the hall, "We're going to the network, we need to find some help of ANY kind."

"Good, just a moment," said Nate, who leaned over a trashcan, stuck his finger in his mouth, and vomited heavily and for some time.

The others wrinkled their noses and stood back, only Iawn chuckling a little bit at the scene. When Nate was done, he grabbed a cup and filled it with water and looked back at Shatner.

"Less Alcohol that get's processed the better," Nate slurred, "Let's Go, Possum… Wossum… Toss 'em! Ah-HA!"

"Good lord, you're becoming as annoying as the Iawn kid," said Shatner, who again supported Nate as Kevin lead the way to the WWBC.

Kevin led them to a building which was converted into a library of sorts. Books were everywhere, as well as several office-like rooms where people cataloged and kept track of whatever they could, trying to savor memories of times of BEFORE. In the middle, were several stations with computers, definitely connected to the net. Kevin showed them, and then sighed to himself.

"Here's our terminals," said Kevin, "We can log on and help you out in any way you can."

"Thanks Kevin," said Shatner, "Look, we need to be logged in separately, we need them to think everything's alright. I don't want to worry anyone, ok?"

"From the group? Sure, I can keep a secret," said Kevin, "I'll log on with you guys, help you out in any way I can, so it might appear normal, you know."

"Sounds great," said Shatner, "You sign is as well, you feeling better?"

Shatner patted Nate's chest, and Nate nodded his head, "Oh yeah, I'm fine. But I'm going to let you do the most of the talking. It's better that way."

"Good, now we're learning," said Shatner, a sly smile on his face.

"What's that supposed to mean, you," said Nate, sitting down at a terminal.

"Nothing, it's just I'm glad we're realizing that maybe I should be in charge of the meeting of new people."

"Ha!" said Nate, getting slightly offended, "Well at least last time I talked we got help!"

"Talked? You shot at them with a fricken' TANK!"

"It was a TANK Shatner," retorted Nate, "If I didn't get to shoot one I'd NEVER let myself forget the SHAME."

"And they were no help at all," continued Shatner, "They are just three more tag-alongs that use up food and annoy the HELL out of me."

"Hmph," retorted Nate, logging onto the network and looking over the forum stuff, "Good lord, how long have I been away from being online? Look at all I've missed, I got a lot of work to do."

"Then do it," said Shatner, "But at least join the chat invite."

A small window appeared on Nate's screen that read; Shatnerpossum invited you to a private chat. Nate hit accept, and in a separate window a small chatlog box appeared, with names of other users appearing on the side. Slowly, users poured in. Shatnerpossum, Comedianmasta, fkeuitan, zurom, 89fred, eonmokri, lovecraft, and jeff appeared on the room. Nate thumbs-upped Shatner from across the way, and Kevin and Shatner shook their heads at each other.

"Ok, just act normal, ok?" said Shatner, "I'm going to PM Lovecraft and 89fred. They're both from the California Colony. Maybe they can help us. Otherwise I'm trying to see what we got for French colonies that could give us a hand."

"Ha… French," said Nate, shaking his head, "The one thing I hate more then the Brits."

"Hey," said Kevin, getting offended.

"Not you, Kevin," said Nate.

"I'm a 'Brit'," said Kevin.

"Nuh-huh," replied Nate, "You're Welsh, yeah?"

"Yes, but it's apart of Great Britain," said Kevin, "So we're 'Brits'."

"No, it still doesn't count because," started Nate, but he stopped himself and laughed, "Oh, it doesn't matter. You're all apart of the 'United Kingdom' anyway, so you're all English-Run."

"Hey," said Kevin again, even more upset, and several other Welsh settlers glared in Nate's direction as well.

"Hey," said Eonmokri to Nate in a PM, "What happened to you and Shatner? Some people from your colony said it was another attack. Are you ok?"

"Uh, yeah," typed back Nate, "It was pretty bad, but we fought them back. Poor Pandora, though, he was wounded in battle, I saved him."

"Oh, it was you?" said Eonmokri, "Shatner said he saved Pandora."

Nate leaned over and gave Shatner a glare before returning to the PM, "Uh… yeah, that was it. Sorry, my head was spinning from Flashbacks from my own little personal hell."

Jeff joined their Private Conversation and said his hellos.

"Yeah, I'm so sorry to hear about that, mate," he typed, "Raiders are a big problem everywhere. But thankfully Australia is still holding up alright."

"Yeah, sounds good," said Nate.

"So, were you or Shatner hurt?" asked Eonmokri.

Shatner entered the Private Conversation as well, and Nate waved, forgetting he had no web cam.

"What are we talking about?" asked Shatner.

"The attack, if either of you were seriously hurt or anything," said Eonmokri again.

"Oh, no, we're fine," said Shatner, and then another PM window appeared and Shatner told Nate, "We're good; 89fred and lovecraft think that they can help us. Their colony is more advanced then us, they have a plane. They believe they can make it into Europe in no time. I hope they are right."

"Same here," said Nate, "Same here."

"No cam or microphone today?" asked Australia, "You at Shatner's post, rioght?"

"Uh… yeah, I just don't look so good," said Nate.

"Cam's down for maintenance," replied Shatner.

"Oh," said Eonmokri.

89fred and lovecraft joined Shatner and Nate's PM, and greetings were exchanged.

"So, on a crazy mission to nowhere, huh?" asked 89fred, "I think we can help you out. We got some real good guys down here itchin' for a good time. We're willing to have a little adventure. We can help you and get you home."

"Get us home?" typed Nate, getting agitated, "No, no, we're not quitting. We need to get to Africa, we need to find some hope. We can't give up."

"Hold your horses, now," said 89fred, "'Give Up' was not what I was thinking."

"It wasn't?" asked Shatner.

"I am mighty interested in what you're talking about," typed 89fred, "And if I know the Cap'm, then I know he's up to a little adventure, even if it is a longshot in the dark of a rainstorm. We're headin' to a safe place in North Africa and we're gonna find us some people!"

"Sounds good," said Nate, giving a half hearted smile in real life.

"You know," continued Eonmokri on the other PM, "They say travel is increasing, that the land is becoming easier to traverse."

"Do they now?" said Nate, in reply.

"No, it's impossible," answered Shatner, who leaned voer and glared at the real Nate a seat or so down, "The land is too dangerous, who knows what's out there. Radiation and ruins and Raiders and whatever else!"

"Oh, don't be such a baby," typed Nate back, smiling, "I betcha we could do it. Travel the world, see what's left. ;)"

Nate smiled, and winked in real life. Shatenr was already glaring at him, but the comment seemed to enrage him a little more.

"I'd do it," said Eonmokri, "I'd travel, anything to get out of this ol' place. Learning English, you guys, and my animals are all that keep me sane anymore."

"As much as anyone could be sane," answered Jeff, "I don't trust our world anymore. The government's trying to get Oz back from raiders and wild and whatever but I think we're safe here, inside the bunkers and inside the protected territory. We're not overpopulated."

"Thanks for the REASON, Jeff," answered Shatner.

"Alright, then it's good," said Nate to 89fred and lovecraft in the other PM, "Where do we meet in France?"

"France? Hmm… I don't know yet. We'll let Zurom know, Shatner mentioned about contact with him, right?"

"Right," answered Shatner.

"Alright, this meeting is adjourned. See you in France," said Nate, and he closed out of that PM.

"Well, who knows," said Eonmokri, "But I'm glad you're alright. You guys aren't on like you used to be. Please be on more."

"Yeah, you need to update those damn stories of yours, mate," said Jeff, "It's been forever!"

"Ah, yes," answered Nate, "Sorry, busy and all that, will update!"

"Dang, Nate, another alarm. Let's go, might be a fire," typed Shatner, and he gave Nate the "Time to go" look in real life. Nate nodded and returned to the conversation.

"Another alarm? What is it?" asked Eonmokri.

"Another call," said Nate, "See you guys later!"

Nate then closed out of the PM and began talking to everyone as a whole.

"I'm so glad we could have this meeting. Thanks, everybody. Be on again more often!"

"What conversation?" said Kevin, both in the chat and he leaned over and whispered it to Nate.

"Oh, so soon?" asked Eonmokri.

"Yeah, because… that conversation was just a Bonza," typed Jeff in pure sarcasm.

"Alright, talk to you guess later," said Shatner, and he signed off, Nate following suit.

Kevin signed off as well, and he stood there shrugging, "What just happened?"

"We got us some help," said Shatner, "But now we need a way to France."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about my dad and all," answered Kevin, "I'd like to help ya, I really would."

"Then help us," said Nate, "What can you do to help us? Can you sneak us onto a boat or something like that?"

"What? Oh, no, no, no," answered Kevin, "I couldn't do anything like that."

"Come on," said Shatner, "We're heroes, we saved your village."

Kevin shook his head for a moment, then he swore under his breath and put his face in his hands. Nate and Shatner both high-fived behind him then returned to serious pleading faces.

"Ok, ok, alright," said Kevin, "I can sneak us onto Dad's boat and take you across over-night. We should be in France before morning. I'll take whatever beating awaits me when I return in the morning IF I am caught, alright?"

"Yes," said Nate, "You are the BEST my man!"

"Alright," said Shatner, rubbing his hands together eagerly, "Stealing a boat. That sounds about like the best, retarded plan I have ever liked."

"If we're good enough, we can leave the four parasites behind," said Nate.

"No," said Shatner, now getting a serious face, "We're not that evil. They're all coming too."


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Night had already fallen, but it wasn't a while longer before enough people were in bed for them to make their move. Nate was feeling a little better now, and he stood outside the large tent that Hort had given them to sleep in. Shatner knelt just inside the tent, along with everyone else, who was packed and ready to go.

"What are we waiting for?" asked Pandora, standing far enough back as to not be in the way.

"He's got to be ready," said Nate, "The coast has to be CLEAR!"

"Haha, 'coast'," laughed Leo, "Because we're ON the coast."

Shatner and Pandora gave him a disappointed look, while Iawn began to laugh to himself.

"Now I get it," said Iawn, laughing to himself, "That's good."

"Hmm?" asked Charles, who had half awoken from his sleep, and looked around, trying to get what he missed.

"Hey," said Pandora, hitting Charles, "You need to stay awake, I don't want to carry you."

"Thanks for volunteering," answered Shatner, "You make sure he makes it."

"What? Oh, come ON!" said Pandora.

"Shh," said Nate, "God… damn, people. Grow up. You don't want to get CAUGHT do you?"

"What ARE we waiting for, though?" asked Shatner, "What's the signal?'

"There," said Nate, pointing.

Next to the docks, a small guard tower stood. This was multi-purposed in the settlement, but now it acted as a signal, a figure with a flashlight stood upon it, and he made circles with his flashlight. Nate nodded, and held out his hand.

"Stay here, I'll go first. Let's do this as sneaky as possible," whispered Nate, then he turned around again.

Scanning the entire settlement that was in his view, Nate began his sprint to the first lodge. Pressing his body against it, he ducked down from the window, and slowly leaned over the corner and brought his rifle up to bear. After a slight scan, he slowly began to scuttle his way down the side of the building. Nate stopped at the end, and dashed from one hut to the next. Making his way down the side of the second hut, he dived and rolled into a cart.

Nate swung his rifle onto his back, and grasped the cart, filled with some sort of soil. He lightly began pushing it, taking care to stay concealed in its cover. After some time, he hit a shack at the docks. He stood up, getting his rifle out again, and he observed the docks. A lone figure stood by a boat, looking out to the sea. Nate did a quick check around him, and then lightly started walking towards him. He slung his rifle on his back and grabbed his pistol from its holster. Nate took a deep breath, before raising the pistol by the barrel over his head and waiting just a moment before slamming it down with… a lot of his might. For some reason, something held Nate back from exerting full force.

The man staggered forward, and clutched his head, before turning around. Nate looked in surprise at his failure, and spun his pistol around, ready to fire if needed.

"What the F*** man," cried Kevin, holding his head and howling in pain.

"Oh…. Hey," said Nate, replacing his pistol in his holster, "What are you doing not on the tower?"

"Waiting for you! What the f*** did you hit me FOR!" cried Kevin.

"Checking your vigilance," said Nate, standing up straighter, "And quiet down, don't be such a baby. Now get up to your post and signal the next guy."

"What are you TALKING about," said Kevin.

Nate was about to reply, when he noted that the boat theyw ere standing besides had a lot of people in it. Iawn and Leo wrestled on the floor of the boat, while Charles and Pandora discussed some unheard topic, Shatner stood at the end of the boat, shaking his head at Nate and Kevin.

"What…. How?" sputtered Nate.

"We just walked over, you idiot," said Shatner, "It's late night after a massive party, everyone's either passed out, drunk, or already in bed. Nobody cares. What you were doing would only waste time and draw attention to ourselves."

Nate stood there, slowly shaking his head, and he looked at Kevin who rubbed his head next to him.

"Yeah…" said Nate, then he sighed and said, "What are you whining about? Get on the boat."

"Ok, guys, listen, please," begged Kevin, "This is my dad's PERSONAL boat, from before the war. We need to be careful on it. Don't touch ANYTHING!"

"Not touching a THING," said Nate, "Ok, let's cast off, me hearties!"

Nate and Shatner jumped into the boat, Kevin right behind them. Kevin made his way to the cabin, and started up the motor, taking off into the night. Nate smiled, and Shatner even managed one himself.

"Once again, things worked out," said Nate, smiling even bigger, "And now, we're on our way to France. Now, I want you to know something, Shatner."

Leo was thrown backward, suddenly, and slammed into the side of the boat, barely catching himself and staying onboard.

"You twit, you almost through me overboard!" yelled Leo.

"It's survival of the fittest, Mister, and I'm the fittest!" retorted Iawn.

"Iawn, I'm not the weakest link, you ARE!" replied Leo, "Good-Bye!"

Iawn lunged at Leo, but Leo was able to counter, and appeared to be attempting to throw Iawn off the side as well.

"Stop, before someone goes overboard," said Shatner, "Any of you fall off, you can swim back because we are NOT GOING BACK!"

"Yeah, so if we're loosin' one, we're loosin' ALL of you," said Nate, "It's the BIG leagues now. I'm going to be very agitated for a while, so PLEASE… if you throw off Leo, then make sure you throw Iawn off too… and you, Charles," Nate's finger went from one to the other, before landing on Pandora, "You… you're Ok, for now. There's still a chance for you. But the rets of you, you've chosen to be apart of THIS CREW! So… BE-HAVE!"

He looked at Shatner, who shook his head.

"You done?" Shatner asked Nate, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," said Nate, "A Little…"

"Ok," said Shatner, and he headed towards the cabin, Nate on his trail.

They walked into the cabin and observed Kevin fiddling with the controls of the boat. Nate leaned against the side, a forced smile on his face. Shatner eased up a little, and clasped Kevin on the shoulder.

"Nice job, my friend. Thank you, for your risk," said Shatner.

"It's really no problem," said Kevin, "With luck, I can get back before anyone truly notices, but in reality we might just be at the French coastline by morning."

"Is it just me, or does that seem pretty fast?" asked Shatner.

"It's my dad's boat," said Kevin, nervously smiling, "It's pretty good."

"Ok, can we talk a little, now?" said Nate, trying to get Shatner's attention.

"Of course," said Shatner, "What's on your mind?"

"Well… there's something you need to know," said Nate, taking a deep breath and rubbing his forehead, "I… I have a severe hate of the French."

Shatner laughed a little, and even Kevin shared in his fit of chuckling and even laughed at Nate's surprise at their reactions.

"Who doesn't?" asked Shatner, "Besides, you hate everyone. First it's the Brits-"

"No, you don't understand," said Nate, "It is NOT the same. I like the 'Brits', they just annoy me sometime, especially our Brits. The French are another story."

"Ok, fine," said Shatner, giving into Nate's "confession" by raising his hands, "Thanks for the warning."

"No, you don't GET it," said Nate, "I'm going to be agitated, a lot. I mean… A LOT! If we meet anybody… UGH! God Help them."

"Are you… serious?" asked Shatner, beginning to get a little worried, "You're going to openly shoot a French citizen… for being French."

"No…" said Nate, "I'm just saying…"

"That's wrong, dude," said Kevin, giving off a yawn, "That's just wrong."

"Look, we're NOT picking anyone else up on this trip," said Nate, "No one. We're bad enough with the Brits and Kevin and maybe Fred89's crew."

"I wasn't 'picked up'," said Kevin, cocking his eyebrows.

"89fred is NOT being picked up either, he's picking us up," said Shatner, "And Don't worry, we're not picking anyone else up."

"Good," said Nate, "The last thing we need is a damn Frenchy on our tale."

"Ok," said Shatner.

Kevin yawned again, a huge and very bear-like yawn. Scratching his beard and all, he returned his eyes to the sea and he played with the ship's wheel. Nate and Shatner looked at each other awkwardly, and exchanged looks of fright.

"Uh… Kevin… you feel ok?" said Nate, finally.

"Yeah, a little tired, why?" asked Kevin.

"How about you're yawning… a lot," answered Shatner, "That's kinda scary."

Kevin turned around and crossed his arms, "Well, what you expect? It was a long guard watch last night and then today we partied hard and now I'm stressed. I. Am. Tired!"

"Well… stop being tired," said Shatner, "You're driving the boat."

"Yeah," said Nate, "No one else is…"

He had to stop, looking out the back window. On the deck, all four of the younger ones were asleep. Pandora curled in a ball, Iawn and Charles laying next to each other and tossing and turning, and Leo not far off, leaning against a barrel of some sort, clutching his Crossbow almost lovingly. Nate's face twisted a little, and he checked himself. Nope, not tired.

"Ok," said Nate, finally, "I'd feel better if you go take a nap or something."

"A NAP!" cried Kevin, "No way. What about the boat?"

"We'll take care of it," said Shatner, "Trust me, you want at least me here. Nate… is NOT a sailor."

"But I knew one," answered Nate.

"Knowing a pilot didn't make you any better at flying a damn PLANE!" yelled Shatner back.

"What about a plane?" asked Kevin, suddenly his body was revolting against him, and with the possibility of sleep thrown out, he could neither speak nor stand well any longer.

"Go on, go, you'll be fine," answered Shatner, slowly coaxing him out of the Cabin.

"No, really," said Kevin, "This is… my dad's…"

"Don't worry," said Shatner, "Go on, now. Go on."

Kevin left the cabin, and stumbled down to the deck like the others, and instead of going to the crew cabin, spread out on the deck.

"Only for an hour or two!" he yelled back, "I don't need this small REST!"

Shatner smiled, and turned around, his smile fading. Nate already stood, grasping the giant wheel and smiling heroically. He stared off into the horizon, and seemed to be looking the part of a valiant ship's captain. But Shatner knew better.

"What are you doing?" asked Shatner.

"I'm… sailing," said Nate.

"Listen here, Captain Ahab," said Shatner, walking closer to the wheel, "I wasn't kidding when I said I feel uncomfortable with you in control of this boat."

"Oh, cool it, Shatner," said Nate, "We're in the middle of the ocean. There's no land."

"No, we aren't," answered Shatner, "And there will be, soon, if you don't steer us off-course!"

"Calm down," said Nate, "Look, I puked all my tiredness away! Why don't you go take a small nap and I'll-"

"No," interrupted Shatner.

"But it's just for a-"

"No," answered Shatner, again, "Fool me once, Shame on me. Fool me twice."

"Shame on… me?" said Nate, cocking an eyebrow at the idea of Shatner messing up a saying.

"Look… I'll let you steer the boat… THAT WAY, for a little bit. Ok?" said Shatner, "I'll go just outside for a little… me-time. I need to just… THINK. But I'll be right back in a second."

Shatner walked outside the door, and around the cabin to the bow, Nate watching him the whole time.

"Yeah, right," said Nate, shaking his head, "It's a good thing I'm here."

Shatner found a bench on the bow, so he sat down, and examined the stars. But, as Nate laughed to himself about it, days of little sleep or rest took their toll and Shatner drifted off to sleep. Nate smiled, and stretched his body out. Looking out onto the water.

Another hour or so past, and Nate was still wide awake while everyone else snored themselves to sleep. Up in the cabin, he steered the boat, humming to himself. Suddenly, he tipped down his Fedora's brim and wore a silly smile. Staring off into the horizon, he stood a little straighter, and he grabbed his pistol from its holster and held it up, staring off to the side.

"One man… alone in a post apocalyptic wasteland. A land where the gun is the Bible. Beasts roam free… and terror is everywhere. The only hope for humanity… lies in Africa."

Nate pretended to point his pistol at an unseen enemy, and blow his brains out. Then he brought it back, looking around the cabin as if it was a strange new land.

"Armed with a crew of soldiers, he heads off to save the world, on an adventure full of danger…. Of fear… of… of…"

Nate slunked off, becoming more and more depressed. He replaced his pistol in its holster, and he stared out the front window once more, shaking his head after a bit, and slowly rubbing his head.

"An adventure… a really big… f***in' adventure," mumbled Nate, "A great big adventure."

He slowly continued to shake his head and peer at the stars. He turned from Shatner to the back of the boat. They all lay there, sleeping, all so peacefully. He rubbed his head, and kicked a can that was on the ground in anger.

"What are you doing here?" said Nate, heading back to the wheel, "What are you doin here? What have you DONE?"

Nate laid his head on the wheel, and wallowed in depression for a while longer. The boat tugged along, growing ever closer to the French coast.


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Shatner coughed up some water, his mind was groggy and he didn't know where he was. He moved a little bit. Damn, he fell asleep. Why would he do that? He was wet, he was soaking wet! He tried to awake, coughing up even more water; it tasted salty. His glasses were still on his head, which was good.

He was floating, he was floating! Oh my! He tried to move. His mind was racing, and he still couldn't think straight. Was that a shore? Was he near the shore? Where was everyone? His mind was racing.

Off in the distance, he could hear someone yelling something. He couldn't make out what was being said. He tried to move. He was soar as HELL! All their damn traveling.

Nate stood over him. Nate grabbed Shatner by the collar and shook him. Nate was yelling something, but it could not be heard. He was tugging Shatner by the collar, and Shatner could feel waves, and then…. Sand…. Sand beneath his feat. Then, like some sort of terrible shell shock, he came to, suddenly.

"Let's Go, let's Go!" yelled Nate, "Up the beach, let's move IT!"

'Wha?" was all Shatner was able to say, but as he tried to get up the force of Nate dragging him kept him down.

Shatner decided to try and help by pushing with his legs, especially when he began sliding on sand, and the waves were splashing up against him. Risking a look around, Shatner covered his eyes and tried to spot everyone.

Charles carried a backpack on his back, and he dragged two others through the sand, keeping his head low and almost running across the beach. Iawn fired at some unknown enemy, yelling different random commands to no one in particular. Leo was lying on the beach, he seemed to be dazed, or severely injured.

"What?" asked Shatner, then he grasped around, finding his rifle and weapons and backpack all with him, and then he tried harder to stand, "What happened? Where are we? Are we under attack?"

Pandora rushed up next to Nate, and grabbed hold of Shatner and helped pull him up.

"How is he?" asked Pandora.

"He seems to be responsive," said Nate, "We need to find out what happened to the others. Is that Leonard kid alright?"

"I Don't know, I can't find fecku," answered Pandora.

"Who?" asked Nate.

"Kevin! I can't find Kevin!" answered Pandora again.

"Dammit, we need to find him, we can't lose him!" yelled Nate.

Shatner had enough, and as soon as Pandora let go, Shatner made a fist, pulled back, and hauled off, catching Nate right in the side of the face. Nate wheeled back, giving Shatner enough time to stand and look around, raising his rifle, trying to figure out what was up. Nate held his hand to his mouth, checking for blood.

"What… the HELL man," said Nate, "After I saved your life and all…"

After examining the area, Shatner lowered his weapon, and total confusion took over. They were on an empty beach. Charles had collapses with the baggage he had, and slowly walked back for more. Pandora knelt over Leo, who was beginning to come to. Iawn reloaded his rifle, but besides the shots he had been firing Shatner could not hear or see any return fire.

"What… is going ON HERE?" yelled Shatner, looking around, "Iawn, stop firing that stupid GUN!"

"Well…" said Nate, he pointed to a sign not far away that read "Normandy" in English, and he smiled and answered, "it appears we just had D-Day."

Morning light filled the sky, and even a slight fog began to set in. Shatner looked around, and his head began to come back together.

"What… how… where the hell is the boat?" Asked Shatner.

"Ah… yes… well," answered Nate, "You see…"

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Shatner, watching as the tired, worn body of Kevin rose from the sea, and it gasped for breath.

"Oh…" said Nate to himself, "There he is… not dead…"

"The… LAND," yelled Kevin, "The…. Sand and the water and the rock and…. LAND!"

Shatner and Nate stumbled back down the beach, into the water to help Kevin out. Kevin seemed dizzy, disoriented. They began helping him up the beach.

"Where's…. where's the boat?" asked Kevin, then he began to get angry, "Where's the boat, guys. Where's my father's f***ing boat!"

"Yes, well… there's a thing," said Nate, "Your boat is… no longer… with us."

Looking around, Shatner realized pieces of red, painted wood were floating in the water, and when he turned around, he noticed what was left of the boat was perfectly perched on a very large rock.

"You," said Kevin, and he lunged himself at Nate, "You… bastard…. You… UGH!"

Shatner tried to hold him back, and Nate took a step back with his hands held high, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"How… could you…. You BASTERD!" yelled Kevin, almost kicking and screaming, "That boat was my fathers! What am I supposed to do now, what am I supposed to do NOW?"

Nate sighed, and shook his head from side to side. He looked around, and noticed his Fedora washing up on the shore. He was sure to grab it and replace it on his head, smiling. Then he sighed, his smile fading, and he turned to whatever else needed to be done.

Shatner brought Kevin farther up the beach, and an old Bench sat there, and Kevin and himself sat on the bench. Kevin began to tear up, and lightly, tears began crawling down his cheek.

"What am I supposed to do now?" asked Kevin, "I can't return home. And If I could, how can I face my father? I lost his boat, I lost his boat…"

"No you didn't," said Pandora, arriving with Leo under his arm, "It's right over there."

Kevin followed Pandora's pointed hand right towards the boat, and he almost died all over again.

"What the… WHY! Why… Why?" asked Kevin.

"I have no idea," said Shatner, "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault… I should have known, I should have never…"

"Yeah," said Kevin, getting really upset, "This is terrible, this is absolutely terrible!"

Iawn and Charles came over, with several things they had collected from the crash. Nate wasn't far behind, but was a little hesitant on rejoining the group. Kevin spotted him, and pointed angrily, but didn't rise from the bench.

Nate seemed to wince, especially when all the gazes of the others turned to him, and he stood awkwardly, soaking wet.

"Why?" asked Kevin, in a broken voice, "How… could you?"

"I left you alone for a minute," said Shatner.

"I… I don't know how to explain it," said Nate, looking ashamed, "I just… it was…"

"How could you?" said Shatner, "I mean… falling asleep at the wheel?"

Nate's face froze, and he looked shocked. Then he let out a sigh, almost a laugh, before continuing.

"Asleep… fell asleep," said Nate, then he got more serious at the death glare from Shatner and said, "I Do not know how to ask for forgiveness… I mean… I was just irresponsible."

"Damn right," said Shatner, "What if someone had gotten killed?"

"I would never have forgiven myself," said Nate.

"You… destroyed my father's boat," said Kevin.

"I'm sorry, won't happen again," said Nate.

"Damn RIGHT it won't," yelled Kevin, getting almost hysterical, "It's a little hard to sink it again when it's at the bottom of the bloody ocean, now idn'tit? I mean, you couldn't raise it from the grave and resink it now could you?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised," said Shatner.

"I would," said Pandora, "But at least we all came out OK again."

"Third time's the charm," mumbled Shatner.

"How am I going to get home?" asked Kevin, "How am I going to explain this to my dad if I do?"

"We'll… get you another one," answered Nate.

"Another boat?" said Shatner.

"Anther one…" said Kevin, almost dreamlike.

"A… bigger one," said Nate.

"A BIGGER one?" asked Shatner, in complete shock of what Nate was saying.

"Where are we going to find another boat?" asked Pandora, sounding a little edgy himself.

"I'm sure we could find a battleship," said Charles from where he knelt, "My dad was in the Royal Navy."

"We could get an OIL TANKER," suggested Iawn, "That's really big."

"Or a cargo carrier," mumbled Leo, "Those are big, and might have some helpful items… like illegal immigrants!"

"Or, just another big boat," said Nate, "A fishing boat…"

"Two," said Kevin, suddenly.

Nate jumped, but he shook his head and nodded, "Ok… we can find two… we can find a whole fleet when we reach the Mediterranean."

"And I want a reward," said Kevin, "I want supplies… I want tools… I need things to bring back to Whales. Helpful things. Anything. I want you to help gather them and fill the two boats."

Nate began to nod slightly, and he looked to Shatner and everyone, "We willing to be heroes again?"

"We'll help you," said Shatner, "But remember, we need to get to Africa, we're not backtracking."

"Africa?" said Nate, "Africa isn't going anywhere… we don't need to-"

"Oh, hell no!" yelled Shatner, standing, "During the course of this whole trip, I have been shot at, I've been walked, I MIGHT be radiation poisoned, I've crashed in a plane, I've been walked more, I've been ambushed by devil children, I've eaten rotten fast food that might have poisoned me AGAIN, I've been ambushed again, I've been celebrated, and I've almost DROWNED and STRANGLED you after almost being drowned, stabbed, strangled, or beaten to death by the ocean. I am NOT going to give up on this f***in' trip NOW! How can I? I mean…"

Shatner stopped for a second, and Nate through his hand up in an effort to stop him, yelling "Don't say it!". But he was too late.

"This whole trip, couldn't GET any worse," said Shatner, "And after all we've been through, There's no WAY I'm turning back. Just… no WAY!"

Nate seemed to cringe, and looked around, awaiting rain or something. Shatner rolled his eyes, and he shook his head.

"Ok, I understand," said Kevin, and he scowled once more, "I guess now I'm on this silly little adventure."

"Alright," said Shatner, standing up and facing everyone as a group, "Welcome to France, everyone. Now, All we need to do is cross France without ANY trouble, and make it to the Mediterranean. Now, we don't have any known connections for the WWBC from France itself. So… We don't know what's out there besides the fact that it did get hit at some point and a lot of fighting and bombs were dropped here."

"Because France is just a big frickin' target for the world to shoot at," said Nate, almost smiling.

Shatner shot him a glare, before continuing, "Anyway, let's be very careful. This is not England, and this is definitely not Whales. We don't know what's out there, or WHO'S out there, if anyone. Let's be very careful about anywhere where it looks like radiation has become a problem and let's get through this as quick as possible."

"Maybe we should get a car," said Charles.

"Or a Truck," added Leo.

"Or a TANK!" said Iawn.

"Oh…" said Nate, smiling and thinking a little.

"No, no tank!" said Shatner, then he thought a moment and said, "We should keep our eyes out for a working vehicle. I want to spend as little time as possible in this country so let's find a way to get THROUGH it."

"Good," said Nate, "So let's make our way to the nearest town and get out of here. When we reach the Med., we'll get Kevin his boats and supplies and make our way to North Africa."

"Ok," said Iawn, "And shoot any Frog we see along the WAY!"

"Yeah!" came a chorus from the three Brits and Kevin. Pandora and Shatner seemed a bit confused, but Nate smiled, and pretended to cry a little.

"I am so proud of them," said Nate.


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The first town they came to seemed untouched. Some radio song was even playing somewhere, and the electricity seemed to be on. Without the lack of working vehicles and the feeling of emptiness and abandonment you'd think it was still inhabited. They were still careful, though, when the group entered the town.

Nate eyed the buildings carefully, and Shatner stepped lightly around suspicious looking objects. The others didn't appear different besides giving off a feeling of tension. When they had finished a quick sweep of the town, they all stopped in the middle and took a rest.

"Alright," said Nate, "We need a break, and we need some supplies. Let's split up and see what we can find. Non-perishable food items, ammo, weapons, tools, anything that might be helpful."

"Maps," said Shatner, "Maps would be good."

"We couldn't read them," said Nate.

"I can," said Shatner, "4 years of French."

"WHY did you bother with four years of French?" asked Nate.

Shatner shrugged, then answered with, "Because I had four years of Spanish."

Nate shook his head, and rolled his eyes, "Did you now?"

"Yeah," said Shatner, "and 2 years of German, 1 of Russian and 1 of Arabic."

Nate shook his head, and said "And how many Chinese?"

Shatner laughed, "Oh, very funny. Chinese was in semester two, the war happened in semester one!"

Nate's mouth dropped, and even Kevin and Pandora took a few steps back. Shatner shrugged, clearly not seeing what they saw. Iawn and Charles began to laugh, Leo was busy with a broken car he was determined to get into without breaking the glass in it.

"You planning on teaching language much?" asked Nate, "War was pretty inconvenient, huh?"

"The war was inconvenient for EVERYONE, you idiot," said Shatner, "And I was GOING to major in History, thank YOU!"

Nate began to shake his head a little, and rubbed his forehead.

"What about YOU, Flint?" said Shatner, getting offended, "What in God's NAME could you have done before the war? You're HOPELESS! You can't do a THING!"

"Hey," said Nate.

"You already admitted, and obviously prove, that you worked at McDonald's before the war," said Shatner, "And, to be honest, I don't see what on EARTH you could be good for."

Nate crossed his arms. But the conversation was cut short as the group started to disperse. Leo and Charles spotted a toy store, and bolted for it, smashing through the glass and looking around inside. Iawn was about to join him, but he watched as Pandora headed towards a sportsman's shop, and he smiled, looking at his gun, and then following Pandora inside.

Nate shrugged, and headed off his own way. Shatner shook his head, feeling a little angry before cooling down. Kevin shrugged as well, looking around before picking up an iron pipe out of a pile of rubble.

"If we're trekking across France," said Kevin, "I'm going to need a gun. I don't want to be dependant on you if something goes wrong."

"Nothing's going to happen," said Shatner, "But I would feel a lot better if we could arm everyone."

Shatner walked over to several buildings, and looked around inside before sighing to himself and returning back outside.

"This is just ridiculous," he said, after inspecting a molded mess in one of the buildings, "It's like anything of interest has already been taken, by looters or raiders or whatever survivors there might be left."

"Could you really not find anyone from France in the WWBC?" asked Kevin, sounding a little bit concerned as he followed Shatner down the street.

"People FROM France? Yes," answered Shatner, "But… there is no Colony registered TO France. The closest is in Belgium. As far as we know… this place is a dead land."

"Get hit hard in the war?" said Kevin, "We always thought America and Russia was whipped off the face of the map, everywhere else just… was hurt by the war."

"So to speak," said Shatner, "But people didn't take missile defenses into account. America was maimed, and hit bad, but is still habitable and there are a lot of colonies. It was the war that really crippled us, just like the rest of the world. Blowing each other to hell, Soldiers running every which way. Now, there isn't even any 'sides' anymore. God knows what happened. Soldiers abandoned or deserted, entire battalions disappeared… It's madness."

"Yeah," agreed Kevin, "I know. We have three Welsh soldiers back at home. They made it through… just in time I suppose."

"Yeah," said Shatner, stepping through the door of another building on his way towards the sportsman shop, "We just can't ever tell, anymore. You know? Like what happened to all those refugees? What happened to the evacuation plans? There just… seems like there should be MORE people, you know?"

He frowned at the lack of items and he continued down the street and into the sportsman's shop that Pandora and Iawn now shuffled around in. Pandora looked up when Shatner and Kevin walked in. Pandora shook his head, and walked up to Shatner.

"This place was whipped out, either by looters or people trying to escape," said Pandora, holding out his hand, "All I could find is two 12 gauge shells and a 20 gauge shell… that's it."

Shatner grabbed them and observed them, shaking his head. He placed the shells in his pocket and looked around. The place looked like it had been trashed before, and he shook his head.

"Damn," he said, "Well, that means the rest of this town is hit. We won't stay long."

"Hey," yelled Nate's voice from outside, "Check this OUT, dude. Look what I got, man."

Shatner shrugged, and turned to head outside as Kevin walked deeper into the store.

A couple minutes earlier, Nate shrugged and headed off his own way. He didn't care what Shatner had to say about anything. He looked around, but his mind really wasn't on anything. He walked into the first building he could easily get into, some Italian looking restaurant. Nate sat at one of the tables and sighed, rubbing his forehead with his hands and taking off his hat, laying down on the table.

He began to examine the dust-filled restaurant and tried to imagine its hay-day. Before the war, this place would be bustling, full of frenchies ordering and eating. His eyes reached behind the counter, and he jolted up in his seat, grabbing his rifle at the ready.

He pointed it behind the counter, and he knelt down slightly and slowly approached. As he rounded the counter, he saw what he was looking for in full view. A body of an old man.

The body was definitely decaying, and had been here for a while. The old man held some sort of menu in his hand, and he pointed at the wall. His old shirt had blood stains, and Nate could see he was clearly gunned down at some point, and died… pointing at something?

Something about that bothered Nate, a lot. So, he examined the body more, he was definitely sure it was pointing at something. He followed it's pointing, and walked over to the wall. There was a bookshelf, and old, dusty books laid on the shelf. He scratched his head, looking at the shelf. Then he returned to the body.

He checked the body. He couldn't find anything, he had been robbed; wallet stolen, rings taken, anything of any value was gone from him. Nate sighed, and shrugged, picking up the menu from the old man's hands. It was a really think menu, thicker then any he had seen, and opening it up he saw it was the "master menu" with all the specials and all the recipes and prices of everything they could possibly serve.

He saw it was very dusty, and he shook his head. Then, something hit him, he examined the bookcase again. Everything was tightly stacked, every book had it's place. Then, in a small space hidden to the side, Nate noticed one book was missing. Getting up, he compared the whole with the menu, and noticed it was a fit.

"Yes," said Nate, smiling, "What are you hiding?"

Nate peeked inside the whole, and found a lever. Smiling, he reached in and pulled, hard, on the lever. Something behind the book case turned, and sliding and levers and cogs were heard turning and sliding inside. Nate smiled, and tugged, hard, on the bookcase, and it slid aside like it was on butter. Nate looked around inside, sweeping his gun from side to side, then he allowed his jaw to drop, and he stepped inside.

Shatner walked out of the sportsman shop, and noticed Nate jogging up the street, examining his arms. Shatner spread his arms out, shaking his head.

"What?" asked Shatner, when Nate was in a reachable distance.

"Dude you gotta see these," said Nate, "I totally found the coolest thing ever, of all time. Watch.

Nate extended his arm and in one, lucid motion, pulled it back, making an action face. A blade shot out of his sleeve of his leather coat from his wrist area, and extended out a good ways, past his clenched fist. Shatner looked in surprise, before folding his arms.

"Boo-Yeah," said Nate, staying in a pose, before examining the blade again.

"What is that?" asked Shatner.

"I'm not sure," said Nate, not taking his eyes off the blade, holding it in front of his face, but extending it slightly as if to show Shatner.

Shatner reached out towards it, but Nate retracted back, "No, mine."

Shatner hardened his face, and shook his head. He crossed his arms and looked at Nate.

"It's some sort of contraption that straps on here, dude," said Nate, pulling back his wrist and revealing some sort of brace-looking this strapped to his wrist, "At has all these really cool features, what does this do?"

"No, don't do-" started Shatner, but Nate hit a button.

The blade retracted, and something else shot out, from the opposite side of the wrist (back of hand) and a light flame lit. Nate's face lit up with the flame, and Shatner sighed.

"Now, what's the point of that?" asked Shatner.

"I… don't know," said Nate, "But that is one, sweet-ass cigarette lighter, no?"

"Oh, my," said Shatner, shaking his head, "Where did you find it, Flint?"

"There's this I-talian restaurant down the street, I just-"

"Stop, did you just say… 'I-talian'?" asked Shatner.

"Yes," said Nate, "You know, from Italy."

"Yes, I know. It's Italian," said Shatner, "One word, all together. Italian."

"Tomatoes, tomotoes," said Nate, rolling his eyes, "Potatoes, pototoes, taters… it's politics, dude."

"There's a difference," said Shatner, "One you sound racists as hell, the other is the RIGHT way."

"Which makes you sound racists?" asked Nate, "You better not say taters…"

Shatner rolled his eyes, and knelt down, rubbing his head, "What…a…CHILD!"

"Anyway, it was in some sort of secret passage. There was an old bolt-action rifle… looks like a Le Enfield, and an Italian Shotgun, double barreled. There's a lot of shotgun shells, but the Le Enfield won't have many shots."

"That's ok," said Shatner, "Now we can arm Kevin and one more of the Brits. So there was an entire room in the back?"

"Yeah… sorta," said Nate, stepping back a little, "But, I also found these," he referenced to both his wrists, and two blades shot out of each one.

"There's two of them?" asked Shatner.

"Oh… hell yeah," said Nate, "I feel so frickin' awesome right now."

Shatner sighed again, and said, "Well, at least you got something out of the deal, are they comfortable? Not going to hinder us?"

"Comfortable?" asked Nate, "These are great! Besides a slight weight of all the stuff, when everything's retracted it doesn't inhibit a thing. It's like nothing is there. I haven't even got it caught on my jacket, it's awesome."

"Alright, then," said Shatner, "So, show us to this room so that we can get out of here, and stop playing with it, you're going to… cut yourself or something."

"Hey, by the way, moshure," said Nate, reaching behind him, "Look what I got for you, viola!"

Nate protruded a bunch of rolled up maps from behind his back, and Shatner smiled.

"Alright, maybe this is good news," said Shatner, looking over the maps, "A lot of this is outdated… some of them are maps of Paris… Ah, here we go. It's slightly outdated, but it shows where we are, and it shows a lot of Paris. We can use this for a while, at least. Let's visit this room of yours and get the hell out of this town."

They walked out of the small French town, and they were rejuvenated with a new fire. Now dried up, they were happier. Kevin now held a double barreled shotgun, and after eight rounds of rock-paper-scissors, Leonard came out the victor of the Le Enfield, and all 4 bullets in which it held. Shatner now led them, smiling with the map or two he held.

"You know," he commented a mile or so out, "I feel really bad about all this. You know, there was a lot of documents and records and… STUFF back there that would've probably been worth a fortune back in the good old days, you know? It seems a shame leaving all that history back there to rot. I wonder what it was all about."

"I don't know," commented Kevin, "But that old dude knew how to fight, and he definitely knew how to hide things. I wish we had-"

"I think that he should have had some sort of vehicle in there," said Nate, "I am so sick of walking. I mean, oh my gosh!"

Shatner shook his head, and he had no words for Nate. They continued to walk, and then the kids began getting restless and hummed to themselves, each one humming a different song. Nate smiled, but didn't join.

Shatner began to get angry, more and more annoyed as they continued on. It continued, for a WHILE, until they all hummed the same basic tune. Kevin began to get uneasy, and he made his way beside Nate.

"So… the younger ones… the English. Do they serve a real purpose?" he asked.

Nate smiled and turned towards Kevin, thinking it over before speaking.

"Besides 'cannon fodder'," said Kevin, trying to laugh it off, then he got serious again, saying, "Unless you're serious… is that their only purpose?"

"Please," said Nate, "Don't give them so much credit. I can't imagine being in a tough situation with those clowns."

"Then why are they… here?" he asked, lowering his tone as to not be heard.

Nate smiled again, before his face hardening, and his smile disappeared.

"Umm… they are here… because…" Nate had never really thought about it.

In the short time he had been with ANYBODY, really, he never even thought about asking what their "use" was. He scratched his head, and rubbed the stubble on his chin.

"They keep Beatle Bailey, over there, from going completely insane… and they drive me insane," answered Nate after a bit, "And, truly, I don't really know. Shatner's idea to keep them."

"What's my idea?" asked Shatner, turning around.

"Nothing," said Nate, "Did someone say something?"

"What are you talking about?" said Shatner.

Kevin went to explain, but Nate shoved him, almost pushing him over. Kevin glared at him, and Nate acted like nothing happened.

"You hear that…. Music?" dodged Nate.

"Yeah, I kinda do," said Shatner through clenched teeth, and he turned to glare at the group, "Hey, what did I say about singing? No singing, at all, alright? None! You are so ANOYING!"

They all were silent, and Pandora and Leo even crossed their arms in disappointment. It was silent for a little bit, but then Shatner and Nate noticed the tune still played. Shatner through up his hands in defeat.

"Great! Now I am going _insane_ because of you KIDS!" yelled Shatner, "Oh, I am going to-"

"Wait, stop," said Nate, throwing up his hand, "I hear it to, where's that coming from?"

"I think it's coming from him," said Kevin, pointing at Shatner.

"Oh, very funny," said Shatner, getting angry.

"No, wait," said Nate, pointing at Shatner as well, "I think he's right."

Shatner stopped a moment and listened, his face becoming very stone-like. Sure enough, a faint musical tone was coming from somewhere on Shatner's person. Nate gave a puzzeled look at Shatner, and Shatner at him. Then, Shatner's head lightened up, as if a lightbulb had been turned on.

"Good LORD," cried Shatner, digging into his clothing, "The satellite Phone!"

"Ha, ha," chuckled Nate, pointing at Shatner, "Ring, ring, Banana Phone? It was the phone… the Phone? Wait, the PHONE!"

"It's them," said Shatner, and he tore off his pack, searching for the phone.

"Who?" said Kevin.

"I totally forgot," said Nate, then he turned to Kevin and the rest, "When we contacted help back at Wales, it's our boys with the plane. They were supposed to call us. We got a PLANE!"

"Yay," said Pandora, then he stopped and thought a moment, "Wait… another plane?"

Shatner finally triumphantly pulled the phone from his back, and turned it on, putting it to his face.

"Hello?" he yelled into the phone, then he took a breath and more calmly said, "This is Brom, I got you."


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Brom? Who the f*** is Brom?" yelled a voice at the other end.

"Shatnerpossum," yelled Shatner, now holding the phone a little farther away, "Who's this?"

"Who's this? It's FRED! Do you know how long we've been trying to hail you?" yelled the voice on the other end.

"Sorry, we've been busy. Where are you and how-" started Shatner.

"Where are we? We're f***in' crashin' right now, dude. Mayday, May-F***in'-DAY!"

"Calm down, what's goin' on?" asked Shatner.

"The plane, we hit problems… we're trying to keep it steady," sputtered fred over the radio, "We are… oh God, keep it steady, man! The pilot's doing all he can but it is NOT going well. We need to land, NOW! We're locking on your position, now. Find a landing spot, quick!"

"Landing Spot, we don't know where we are, we're somewhere in France, we just can't," stuttered Shatner.

"No time, we got a lock, you have five minutes, here we come," said Fred, and the signal went dead.

"Damnit," yelled Shatner, and he slammed the phone shut.

The others looked confused, waiting for a response. Shatner just turned, and began to sprint, the others tried to follow.

"What? Who was it?" asked Nate.

"Fred, there's difficulties. They want us to find an airport they can land out in five minutes."

"What?" said Nate, "Oh no, that's not good, at all."

"Yeah, you're telling me," said Shatner, and he began frantically searching the map, before shaking his head, "This is such bull, where are we supposed to find something like THIS!"

They ran for a while, but they couldn't see or find nothing that resembled any sort of landing pad. Another minute or so, and Shatner spotted a small town ahead, and they sprinted towards it. The town appeared like the last one, relatively untouched except for signs of abandonment and looting. Shatner sprinted, jumping onto a dumpster the leaping for a low hanging emergency latter on the side of a hardware store.

He began pulling himself up with incredible speed, and hurriedly climbed the store. Nate jumped up onto the dumpster, and pulled a muscle, falling back down. As Nate cursed on the ground, Pandora leapt up, and grabbed the bars, following Shatner. Kevin shook his head, and watched the Brits having issues climbing the dumpster.

"Way to be, fat ass," said Iawn, trying to climb up.

"You can't do it either, you wankah," said Charles.

"Shit," said Nate, getting up, "We'll take the long way."

Nate walked around the side, and examined the front of the building. It was barricaded, and even looked as if someone had experienced a few fire fights before. Kevin aimed his rifle towards the shop, looking wearily.

"What about someone being inside?" asked Kevin.

Nate took a few steps back, before running and jumping into the air, taking care to slam his feet into the front door part. The door broke apart, and caved inwards. The barricade behind it could not hold, and fell over. The Brits smiled and cheered, and Nate got up, and leapt inside, Kevin hard on his tail.

Nate scanned the room for any people, but he rushed through, not using cover. He didn't care about anyone hiding inside, to be honest. He rushed through, swinging his rifle around, and he bolted for some stairs in the back. They went right where he wanted, and he found himself behind a door to the roof. He heard Kevin's shotgun go off down below, he was quite a ways behind him, and he decided he didn't care. He lifted his boot and slammed it into the door (unnecessarily) and the door opened up, onto the roof.

Nate ran out, looking around. Shatner stood, dialing into the phone and looking around, desperately. Pandora was poking a decayed body in the corner of the roof with his rifle. Nate walked towards Shatner, and fear crossed his face.

"This isn't good," said Shatner.

"PLANE!" yelled Charles, who followed Nate through the door and onto the roof.

Nate followed his finger into the sky, and spotted a smoking trail of a dot in the sky. Nate's heart froze with fear, and he looked into the eyes of Shatner, who had become stricken by fear. Shatner hit a button on the large phone, and it went onto speaker. A husky, southern drawl came over the speakers.

"May-day, may-day. We're goin' down. We're losing our engeens. May-day, may-day!"

Soon, the plane was in sight, and Nate could definitely see fires breaking out from many areas on the plane, and a huge smoke trail followed it as if slowly decresed it's altitude.

"Why," asked Shatner, almost under his breath, "Why must it be hell every time we're going to win?"

Nate didn't know if he should answer or not, but he was overwhelmed by awe. The plane streaked right overhead, it was very low now. Low enough for Iawn and Charles to dive to the ground in exaggerated terror and Leo covered his face with his arm. The plane was large; it had four engines and a large body. Nate couldn't tell if they were jet or propeller anymore, for three of the four engines were now burning away in a rage of flames.

Nate almost felt a small part of him die, as he followed it over his head, and carry onward, slowly decreasing with time. Shatner, like Nate, was unaffected by the ash and metallic parts coming off the plane after it had passed, and they didn't bother taking any cover as the parts rained down from above.

The plain seemed to disappear, heading towards the horizon, before disappearing, partly, behind a building, then another few seconds before it disappeared over a distant hill. The trail of smoke lingered for some time, and the parts falling off the plane rained down for another second or so.

"Prepare for IMPACT!" yelled the Pilot, "GET BACK! May-day, May-day! May-"

The transmission was cut short, and Shatner and Nate hung on the words of the pilot.

"Oh… my," mumbled Shatner.

"Damn," said Nate, "I bet that hurt."

"What happened? What went wrong?" asked Kevin.

Nate turned to Kevin, "Take care of the issues downstairs?"

Kevin stared at him, confused, before shaking his head in understanding and saying, "Oh… it was nothing. I saw a rat… and fired… and then fell over some cans."

"Oh," said Nate, nodding his head with little emotion, "That's good."

"We got to move," said Shatner, "We need to get to that plane."

"Right," said Nate, lowering his goggles and sliding his hand across the brim of his hat, "It's GO time. Let's roll out."

Nate took a running start, and leapt from the roof. Shatner and Kevin burst out in surprise, and rushed to the edge to see where he landed. Nate was lying in a dumpster, grasping at the edge for support to get out.

"What the hell was that?" asked Kevin from the roof.

"An epic exit to coincide with the epic entrance," said Nate, his voice hinting at some pain.

"Why didn't you just use the stairs," said Shatner, pointing back behind him.

"I thought time was of the essence!" yelled Nate, "God… just… hurry up!"

Shatner shook his head and turned to run down the stairs. The others were eager to follow them away from the town, heading off in the direction of the crashed plane.

They ran for quite a distance, but they didn't tire. A large cloud of black smoke was appearing in the distance. They left the town, heading over the landscape to where the plane had landed. It was about a half an hour before they found another small town, where fire and destruction were obvious.

Shatner spotted pieces of the plane, and the majority of the crash was located next to a house that the plane had plowed into. Shatner shouted, and ran down the hill into the town. Nate was close behind him, but many things urked him about the town.

He saw movement inside one of the other houses, and he could've sworn he saw frightened eyes from behind a curtain. Nate slowed, peering around him, but no one paid him any notice as they ran towards the plane. Shatner was the first to start checking the wreckage and try to open one of the side doors.

"Fred," he yelled, banging on the plane and looking around, "Is anyone alive? Hello? Hello? Fred?"

"Why do we bother trying to fly?" said Pandora, sifting through the wreckage as well, "We always crash."

"We can check the houses," said Leo, nodding at Iawn, who agreed.

"No, don't," said Nate, half heartedly, not taking his eyes off the surrounding buildings, "Something's not… right."

"I can't open this damn door," yelled Shatner, "Kevin, help me!"

Kevin got behind Shatner and tried to help him tug on the door, wrestling to get it open. Nate reached up, and adjusted his goggles, then he undid the safety on his rifle. Pandora noticed, and he walked up next to Nate.

"What is it?" asked Pandora.

"I feel…" said Nate, mumbling under his breath something else.

Pandora brought up his own rifle, and he turned his attention to Shatner and Kevin tugging at the door. A muffled yelp was heard not far away, most likely from Iawn or Charles. Nate spun around.

"Got it!" yelled Shatner, as the door of the plane jerked open and Kevin and himself got pushed back.

Shatner immediately stuck his head inside and peeked around. He froze, as he stared into the barrel of a pistol. He backed up, slowly raising his hands; and Kevin with him.

"Calm down, dude," said Shatner, "Don't be retarded, we're trying to help you. We're the team you're supposed to meet."

"Damnit," said Nate, bringing Shatner's attention to more movement around them.

From the buildings figures with weapons appeared, aiming at the group. Nathan brought his rifle to bear at the sight of them, but Pandora froze, seeing them appear from every which way. They looked scruffy, most wearing different types of leather or jeaned clothing, but they were heavily armed with FAMAS rifles and other French weapons. They pointed their rifles menacingly

Nate felt his heart slow, and he squinted behind his goggles. Shatner and Kevin got pushed back to Pandora and Nate, and they slowly became surrounded.

"Did… all of these guys come on the plane?" asked Pandora, a quiver detectable in his voice.

"Do they look like Americans?" asked Kevin.

"Nobody panic," said Nate, "Hola, amigos! Vosoteros come en peace-os!"

"Oh God," said Shatner, rolling his eyes, "Please, just shut up, SHUT UP!"

"Where's the others?" asked Pandora.

As if on cue, the three Brits were thrown from different areas in the crowd, and they picked themselves up, and joined the surrounded group.

"These wankahs!" cursed Iawn, "How dare you touch me you old, stinking pedophiles!"

"Let's waste 'em, mates!" said Leo, "We can do it!"

The roar of engines could be heard, and everyone's head turned down the road to see what was coming. A Column of motorcycles roared down the street, each one different in its own way and one sporting a French Flag.

They stopped, just beyond the crowd, and a path was made, showing who they were. The lead biker got off his bike, and removed the sunglasses he had on. He was skinny, but you could clearly see he had muscle. His head sported green hair, spiked up in cones, with shaved spots wherever hair wasn't spiked. He had spiked shoulder pads, and sported an open, leather vest with no undershirt. At his side, a pistol and on his back, a hunting rifle. He glared, and you could see he sprouted a goatee with mustache that was also dyed green. He cracked his knuckles and his neck, before taking steps forward with his massive military boots.

"You gotta be screwing with me," said Nate under his breath.

The man walked up, and crossed his arms, the rest of the bikers began filling in the now bigger circle, with only a couple more stepping into the circle with this large leader. He seemed to turn up his nose at the group, and leaned forward, sniffing at Nate, and his face twisted in disgust.

Nate allowed his face to wrinkle in offense, "Dude, get over it. I've been in a f***in' trash can today. Let's see how good you smell."

The man's eyes widened even more, and his face fixed itself in a near-permanent scowl.

"Americah," said the man, "Disgusting Pig-dogs!"

Nate was now fully enraged, and his rifle lowered in shock.

"Frenchy, please," said Nate, "You kidding me?"

The man's scowl hardened, and he stepped forward, "Drop your weapons, and surrender now; and Don't call me 'Frenchy'."

"Not this again," mumbled Shatner under his breath.

"No, thank you," said Nate, "I'd prefer my gun where I can reach it. Who are you?"

"Who am I? Who am I? You shtupid Americans! How dare you ask an outrageous question," said the man, getting upset, "This is my land, MY France. You are trespassing, so I will ask ze questions!"

"Ha," said Nate, smiling, "Alright, Frenchy. Ask one."

The man's face became enraged, but he kept his cool, "Alright… what ARE you doing here?"

"We're on our way to North Africa," said Shatner, beating Nate to the punch, "We got business there. We had friends who were supposed to help us in that plane. They might still be inside, please."

The man looked at the plane, and examined it. His face was softening, but only to harden once more.

"What… is your plane doing in my building, hmm?" he asked.

Shatner examined the building, and winced, "Well… it was a really bad crash I assume, we're sorry, I don't know-"

"We had a FAMIZY here," yelled the man, "A sex slave and her one future whore and two sons of FRANCE!"

"Um, what?" asked Pandora.

"Monsters," murmured Nate.

"You have destroyed a VERY impiortant asset to our new empire," said the man, "And I am enraged at your insolence!"

"Ok, calm down here, Pierre," said Nate, holding up his hand, "This is all a huge misunderstanding. We lost some people too, we're sure. Now let us just check the wreckage for survivors, who knows maybe-"

"'Pierre? Pierre? Who does you call Pierre?" said the man, "This is not my name. Who tells you theze lies about moi?"

Nate almost laughed, and he looked at Shatner, "A real piece of work, ain't he?"

"He's offended, and definitely not helping the situation," said Shatner, smiling smugly, "Not unlike the French."

"Frogs? Helping a situation?" said Leo.

"It smells fishy in 'ere, dudn't it?" asked Charles, smiling.

"Silence," said the man, "You… Americans!"

"We ain't Yanks," said Kevin, "We're from Britain. Only those three are Dough Boys."

"Shut Up!" said the man, waving his arm to silence them, "You… Foreigners! Do you have any idea what this has done to us? We are mourning the loss as we speak! And you show no trouble in zis?"

"I show trouble in you, Frenchy," growled Nate, letting anger show freely in his face, "You're the ones who began pointing guns."

"You are outsiders!" said the man, pointing at Nate, "It was YOUR plane that has attacked US!"

"It didn't attack," said Shatner, "It fell, so just let us check the wreckage for-"

"Survivors? We've checked," said the man, glaring at Shatner, "Supplies? We've raided what we could! Information? What more must you know?"

"Look here, Juan-Claude," said Nate, "I'm getting really sick and tired of your bull-sh-"

"That, iz NOT my name!" yelled the man, getting really upset, "Why do you keep doing zat? Do I call you Lincoln? Do I call you Clint Eastwood? Do I call you Brad Pitt? No!"

"Really?" said Nate, "Chuck Norris wasn't one of those?"

Shatner began to laugh, and the man got even more angry. Nate smiled, and adjusted his footing. Even some of the others began to giggle to themselves.

"I… I am Juan LeVuke! I am the commandant around here. I am the leader. I am just as good as any God or King," said the man, raising his hands as if to show himself off, "And you, filthy Americans, are enemies of my state. You enter my lands, destroy my buildings, kill my people, and scoff at my honor!"

Nate chuckled some more, before bowing slightly, "Pleasure is mine, dude. Name's Flint. You can call me Chuck Norris, though. This here's Beaver, that's Barack… we got Winston and Churchill somewhere… over there."

"UGH!" exasperated LeVuke at the giggles and antics of the group in front of him, and his face began to flush in anger.

"Alright, seriously," said Nate, "We don't have time for this. We are so sorry about all this, seriously. And we are saddened about everything. If you've searched the wreckage and found no survivors, and you don't want us around, we'll leave. Now, we're just passing through, so… if you would kindly…"

Many rifle aimed at him as he stepped forward, and Nate froze. Tensions rose higher, and Nate's face hardened in frustration. He knew what was coming up next.

"I… cannot allow you to do that," said LeVuke, smiling, "You Americans really are, stupid."

Nate looked at Shatner, and Shatner shook his head, showing he, too, was upset.

"Look, Frenchy, you can't fight us," said Nate, smiling, "And, technically, you still owe us for two f***in world wars, dude."

"And YOU now are in debt to US for blowing the world as we knew it out of the F***ING history books," yelled LeVuke, "You… Americans! You're all the SAME! Showing up late for every war, taking credit where none iz do, sticking your filthy noses wherever it does not belong! And now, you allow your arrogance to go TOO FAR!"

"F*** you, Wankah!" yelled Iawn, "You 'ave no CLUE what we've been through."

"It's not fair blaming one event on a small group of people with no power over it," said Shatner, "Just because you're pissed."

"Take their weapons," ordered LeVuke, "Arrest zem!"

As quick as anything, strong hands latched onto Nate's rifle, and it was yanked from his hands. He reached for his pistol and drew it on the man in front of him, but a fist slammed him in the face, and he fell backward, dropping the pistol. His hat also flew off, landing at the feet of the man next to LeVuke. Nate rose, pissed off. Looking around, he saw similar things had happened. Iawn had been pushed to the ground, too, and Leo was being restrained as he viciously tried to bite and claw at his captors. Charles had been knocked out by a hit to the head, and he lay in the mud. Shatner was held in a head lock, as he tried to assist the three British kids. Kevin and Pandora held their hands up at gunpoint, both quite frightened.

Nate rose, and brushed himself off, seeing the gun barrel pointed at him. He snarled, his face twisting into pure anger. He looked, and noticed his hat had been picked up by the Frenchy next to LeVuke. He examined it, and locked eyes with Nate. Nate reached out his hand, obviously for the hat. The Frenchman smiled and laughed, placing the hat on his own head, and flipping Nate off.

"Damn Frenchies," said Nate, getting more angry, "You're making a mistake."

"No, Monsieur Flint," said LeVuke, "It is you who is mistaken, zis time. Take zem AWAY!"

Nate was now shoved, harshly, forward, and he looked at Shatner, who glared at him. Nate shrugged, still angry, but trying to calm down while talking with Shatner.

"I know, I know," said Nate, "I did it again."

"I won't blame you fully for this one," said Shatner, "But I will admit I am not surprised we are yet again in another… retarded situation."

"We'll get out of it," said Nate, "I'll think of something."

"Are you serious?" said Shatner, "Please… don't bother. We're going to die."

"Not soon," said Nate, smiling, "Why would they bother keeping us alive if they were going to kill us? We got time… if nothing else: to take some of them with us… like that bastard with my HAT!"


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

They walked for some time, being pushed, shoved, and yelled at the whole way. Motorcycles swarmed around them like a plague. Some passing by, some slowing down, some speeding up, some heading off into their own directions. They didn't seem to have a set path, besides Juan LeVuke riding directly behind the captives the entire way.

Pandora's eyes would not leave his captors, and he shivered in near fright. Unlike his, though, Nate and Shatner tried to keep their cool, jumping from place to place. They scanned the formations they were in, and the way the guards watched them, or didn't watch them, and the way the motorcycles came and went.

Shatner soon began to notice other things besides their captors. Women in the streets, ducking out of the way of the parade of people, and mothers covering the eyes of their children in windows in several houses. Their captors made harsh remarks at them, and Shatner saw them speaking with them. Some lovingly, some not so… respectively. Shatner may not have been fluent in French, but he did understand that much of what they said was derogatory or sexual, and it was clear to him that very little here could be considered "civilized".

Nate, on the other hand, had a smug smile on his face, and he examined everything. Soon, his eyes lit up, and one of his eyebrows slightly raised higher then the other.

"Bonjur, my amigo," said Nate, smiling, "Look where we be."

Shatner resisted a glare at him, but it was all wiped away when he followed Nate's eyes and his jaw dropped. Rising up from the distance, the top of a tower could be seen. It didn't take a genius to realize where they were heading.

"Paris," whispered Shatner, after a moment or two more, and the Eiffel Tower could be seen more clearly.

"Paris?" asked Kevin, who was behind him.

"Welcome, guests," yelled LeVuke behind them, over there roar of his motorcycle engine, "To Pari!"

Nate's smile didn't cease, even at the hoots and hollers of all those around them. Shatner leaned closer to Nate, whispering so to not be heard.

"So, there are French colonies alive and kicking, and right here in Paris!" said Shatner, then his brow furrowed and he seemed agitated, "Why in God's name to you have that stupid smug look about you?"

"Oh, Shatner," said Nate, then he made as to play with his mustache and he smiled big, beginning to sing, "Wheeeeeen theeee moon hits yur eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore…."

"No singing! Ne chante pas!" yelled a guard next to Nate.

"Be… our… Guest, be our guest. Put our service to ze test," continued Nate, winking at the guard, "Tie your napkin 'round your-"

The butt of the man's rifle slammed into the side of his head, and Nate fell back and into Shatner's arms. Shatner almost laughed himself, but sobered up enough to lift Nate up and give him a light punch in the shoulder himself.

"Will you knock it off!" yelled Shatner, "You're going to get us all killed!"

"Don't worry," said Nate, "I got what I wanted!"

"Huh?" asked Shatner, but he ignored his own question as many engines roared, and the majority of motorcycle rode off, towards the destroyed city.

Paris showed terrible signs of disrepair and war damage, but it also looked transformed, as much of it was reformed into a battle-readied fortress. Besides a weak wall of dirt and barbed wire surrounding most of the city, and guard towers were posted often.

Many guards and the like wore different parts of old military attire, and they all sported very heavy looking weaponry. Nate spotted several who had military grade sniper rifles and a full-fledged heavy machine gun.

As they entered the city, eyes watched them from every which way. Shatner felt as if he was in the hotspot the entire time. They paraded them right through the city.

They were really surprised when they found out that many of the houses and buildings were relatively deserted until you reached the inner sanctum of the city. Tents and roughly fixed up buildings were then abundant, and soldiers and some women were around. Nate was surprised that he noted that there were no woman fighters in the gang, which he would begin to refer to the Frenchies.

They were led into a side street, away from where the rest of the group was going. After a little bit of walking, Nate spotted a bombed out building, in which several circus cages were located inside. Table surrounded the area, and a few guards were present. A few figures were pacing inside the cages, and as they got closer they saw that they were actually humans, and not any other type of animal.

The group was locked up with the rest, and the rest of the group left. Shatner said they were talking about a "speech at the main plaza" while they walked off. Nate stood up, and examined the three figures sharing this jail-like cell. One was young, about the age of Pandora and the Brits, and wore a buttoned down shirt and tie with his military-style pants. The second looked young as well, but his age was hidden by a cow-boy hat and military uniform. He chewed on a blade of grass, and smiled slightly at the visitors. The other was obviously about the same age of Nate and Shatner, but he looked almost untouched by time except for obvious signs of a recent fight or something. Otherwise, his hair looked well kept (despite being short) and he seemed to be in good hygiene.

Shatner nodded at them, and Nate waved slightly. The one in the hat removed the grass from his mouth, and smiled.

"Whatcha in for?" he asked.

"English?" asked Shatner, "American?"

"Oh my, are you Shatner?" asked the older one, rushing forward, grasping Shatner by the shoulders.

"Fred?" asked Shatner, almost getting relieved, "Oh my God, I'm so glad you're ok! What happened? Are you guys alright?"

"Yeah, we're ok," said Fred, nodding, "So much happened so fast. Something went wrong, I think we sucked something into an engine. One minute we're fine, the next engines are exploding, everyone's yelling, and the pilot's trying to land. I don't know… I woke up… we were down. The pilot was dead… everyone, dead. Well… not everyone."

Fred mentioned to the other two. Nate nodded towards them, grasping his hips.

"And the Frenchies picked you guys up?" asked Nate.

"Without a fight… unfortunately," said the one with the hat.

"I like you," said Nate, smiling slightly, "What's your name?"

"Seth," said the guy, who Nate could now tell was about between the age of Pandora and Nate, and mature for his age at that, "Kentucky."

"Damn, whatcha doing in Callifornia?" asked Nate.

"Wolves and bugs," said Seth, "Had to move. Besides, it's the end of the world. I had to go exploring."

"Sounds good," said Nate, nodding.

"And you?" asked Chalres, pointing at the younger one.

"Name's Andy, Andy King," said the boy, "But I believe some of you remember me by 'Lovecraft'."

"Damn, Lovecraft?" said Pandora.

Nate's face frowned, and he shook his head, "You're not 24!"

Andy's face hardened at the allegation, and he crossed his arms, "So! You believed me."

It was another minute or so, and introductions were made all around. After that, Nate's attention turned to the guards, who rifled through all their possessions left on the table; their guns and bags and whatever else they took. Nate's eyes squinted, and he watched them.

"So, everyone else is…" started Shatner.

"Dead," said Fred, "At least, that's what we think. We didn't really get a lot of time to look around. We were taken not long after the crash."

"Ok," said Shatner, then he crossed his arms, "Now what?"

"We're going to die," said Fred, tears coming to his eyes, "Dude, I'm ENGAGED! And I'm going to die… this is terrible."

"We are not going to die," said Shatner, but he was cut short by a lot of footsteps that approached the building.

Nate was the first to see them, and Shatner walked up behind him, observing Nate's cold stare. The thugs were walking up the street, LeVuke leading them. As he approached, he clasped his hands together, and smiled widely as he approached the cage.

"Welcome, to Paryis, my American friends," he said, even his words leaking of poison.

"Gosh, and I thought D.C. was a dump," said Shatner, Nate smirking with surprise at his retaliation.

"Washington D.C. is nothing in compared to the might we have here, now," LeVuke said, the smile disappearing from his face, "Listen here, Americans: I am so sick and tired of your antics. No more."

"You know," said Nate, "There's still time for all of this to turn around, you know."

LeVuke burst out laughing, prompting laughter from the others in the group. Nate spotted the man with his hat, not far away from LeVuke like earlier. His blood began to boil, and he stood a little more menacingly. Fred's face turned to horror, and he rushed forward, pulling on Shatner.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked, in fear, "Do NOT piss them off."

"What does it matter? He shouldn't be allowed to bully us, or these people," said Shatner, "Someone has to stand up to them."

"It doesn't have to be US, though," said Fred, "Please."

"Laugh, Frenchy, laugh," said Nate, his eyes seemed to blaze as he glared at the one with his hat.

LeVuke stopped laughing, and with a swift movement of his hand silenced everyone else. His face hardened, and he took another step towards the cage. He glared at Nate, then at Shatner.

"Americans…" he said, and he seemed to spit the word out of his mouth, "You're always so pompous."

"Pompous? That's funny," said Nate, a smug smile appearing on his face, "We say the same about you back home."

LeVuke's rage seemed to burst from him, and he pointed into the cage while swiftly cursing in French. He shook his head, and tried to control himself, but his body shook with his rage.

"Americans," LeVuke finally said, "Your world is GONE! American no longer runs this show. You are NO LONGER ze biggest ship in ze sea. Now that your battleship has sunk, the sharks have come to feast. Now, you think you can bully away these sharks? Your threats and nukes and guns mean merde out HERE!"

"Cry me a river, dude," said Nate, and Iawn flipped a middle finger behind Nate at the Frenchman, "Let me out of this damn cage, I'll show you I don't need any guns."

"You will get your chance," said LeVuke, and he spat some French to the men behind him, evoking them to aim their rifles into the cage, "We'll have some fun seeing which of you are the real tough ones."

"Please," begged Fred, pushing between Nate and Shatner, pressing against the bars, "We're not with them. I'M not with THEM. Please, this is all just a misunderstanding. I just want to go home."

LeVuke smiled, allowing his glance to enter the eyes of Nate, and then into Shatner's, before pointing at Fred, "Start with zis one. Zank you for volunteering, ami."

The clicks from gun safeties were heard all around, and everyone inside of the cage raised their hands and backed away from the front of the cage. A guard walked forward, and opened the door. Two soldier walked in, pistols drawn at the group. Fred broke into tears, and tried to tear away as one of the reached forward for him. Together, the two guards tried to get him, but he struggled, and hid behind the others. The guards took a few steps back, and looked from one to another.

"Give him up," said one of the guards, in a terrible French accent, "Or all die."

Nate grasped Fred by the ear, and yanked him forward. Fred yelped in pain, but was silent when Nate's boot connected with his backside and sent him forward, into the arms of the awaiting guards. The guards smiled, and dragged Fred out. LeVuke smirked, and even let out a laugh , looking at Nate. Shatner and the rest looked away, instead looking at Nate, surprised… angry… confused…

"I knew it," said LeVuke, calmly, "All you Americans are the same. Number One, right?"

The group left, hooting and hollering, and the cries from Fred could be heard for some time. They left, and sounds of music and yells and even gunfire could be heard. The group spread out more, looking at Nate. Nate examined the two guards who were left behind. They didn't pay much attention to the caged captives.

"What is with you?" said Shatner, crossing his arms, "You… you just…"

"You f***in' ass hole!" yelled Andy, rushing forward at Nate, only to be stopped by Leo and Charles, "You sold him! You threw him down the river without a second GLANCE! You heartless, cold…"

"What's got you in a bunch?" asked Seth, crossing his arms, "If I'm not mistaken, aren't you known by the title 'comedianmasta'?"

"I don't know," said Shatner, his anger growing, "I'm not sure what pisses him off more. The fact he was beaten by the French or the fact he lost that damn hat of his!"

"What?" asked Seth, then he noticed the glare Nate shot Shatner and smiled, "You sold Freddy down the river cuz you're pissed over a hat? S*** man, I would've given you mine."

"That's not IT!" yelled Nate, getting upset, "And it's not the same hat."

"Yeah it is," answered Charles, "Cow Boy hat?"

"It's a FEDORA!" said Nate, "Completely different… and that's not it. We needed time; we're getting out of here."

"And how do you suggest that," said Seth, pulling out a flask from his jacket, "We don't have any weapons."

"Alcohol?" asked Kevin, slightly broken with all that has happened.

"Hell yeah," said Seth, taking a swig, "Hid it, so the bastards couldn't take it. Want a go?"

Seth handed out the flask, and Kevin took a swig, a smiling spreading wide across his face.

"Ok, Action-Jackson," said Seth, turning back to Nate, "How do you expect to get out of here?"

Nate raised his hand, and a blade shot out from his wrist area, showing off the sharpened metal with an "I-told-you-so" look on his face. Shatner's eyes rolled, but everyone else looked amazed by it.

"Cool do-dad ya got there," said Seth.

"You've had that the whole time?" asked Leo.

"Can I touch it?" asked Andy.

"Can I have it?" asked Iawn.

"How is that going to open the door?" asked Kevin, giving the empty flask back to Seth, which evoked a surprised and horrified glare from Seth.

"It's not," said Nate, and he reached into his pocket, pulling out a paperclip and a pen, "But this will. I've been saving it for such an occasion."

This time, Shatner nodded along. At least Nate could MAYBE get them out of this hell-hole. Or at least, get them shot faster.

Another five minutes, and Nate had wiggled pieces of the pin, combined with the paperclip, in the lock long enough for it to start to turn. The others watched out for him, Kevin and Andy trying to hold a fake conversation so as to not alert the guards of the true intentions.

One guard rifled through their stuff, while the second walked from one side to another, completely unaware of anything. The second walked off to the side, peeing in a drainage pipe.

When the lock fully turned, and Nate heard the click of it unlocking, he smiled, and everyone got eerily quiet as he walked out of the cage. Nate was careful where to place his feet as he walked down the two steps and onto the gravel, slowly making his way towards the guard rifling through their things. Nate's tongue came out of his mouth to lick us upper lip, but seemed to freeze at the corner of his mouth. Nate lifted his hand, allowing the blade to shoot out, glimmering in the failing sunlight.

Nate approached the lone guard, and he stood to his full height, pulling his hand back, pointing the blade towards the guard. With one clean movement, he thrust forward and stabbed the blade into the guard's upper shoulder and the second blade came out. Nate wasted no time plunging the second blade into his lower back as the guard let out a horse scream of surprise, and gurgled as he died.

The second guard looked over lazily, then his eyes widened in surprise as he saw what was going on. He ignored his open pants and grasped his rifle leaning on a wall nearby. As he brought it up to bear, Seth's fist slammed into his face from the side, and Shatner kicked him in the gut before he could recover, sending him to the ground, knocked out.

Nate removed the blades from the dying guard, and allowed him to continue bleeding out in surprise on the ground. He then examined the bloody blades on either wrist and scrunched his nose in disgust. He tried to fling as much of it off as he could, but only managed getting spots of blood on his hands. The other exited the cage, and eagerly grasped at the table for their items.

"Not bad, man," said Seth, smiling as he picked his pack and a rifle out of the pile.

"Doesn't make up for before," said Andy, "I'm watching you!"

"Alright, let's go," said Nate.

Nate grabbed his rifle and his pack, strapping on pistol to his side and beginning to head down the street, even as the others tried to gather their things. Shatner was next who was ready to go, and he slammed his rifle's butt into the head of the knocked out guard, insuring unconsciousness.

"Now what?" asked Shatner, "They took out the maps, how are we going to-"

"That way," said Nate, pointing down the street. He began to head out at a trot, several of the group following him down the street.

Shatner rolled his eyes, then nodded at the rest, following Nate down the street. They ducked their way through the broken city, being careful as to where they stepped and where they went. Several patrols could also be seen, and they would dash into alleys or even into destroyed houses to avoid them. Many of the "patrols" didn't seem to care about a thing, and clearly did not expect any attack or escape from anyone.

"Why aren't we taking them out?" asked Leo, "Shouldn't we be shooting at some people?"

"That would be stupid," answered Nate, "This time, we'll just fight when needed."

"We can't leave," said Andy, who clutched a nice 12 gauge pump shotgun, "Fred was taken that other way. Now we're just LEAVING him?"

Nate turned and glared at Andy, and pointed at him, "Lovecraft, another word out of you and I'm sending you back alone, understood? You follow ME, ok?"

Andy's face became the example of pure anger, but Seth's hand on his shoulder, and a steady nod from him, calmed him down a little bit. Nate gave a nod, and crawled from the rubble, continuing their way out of the city.

They reached one end of the city, and a guard post was present, one guard sleeping in a chair in the short tower. Nate climbed it, and with the swift movement of his hand, slit his throat with one of the blades. Jumping from the tower, Nate pointed out. Here, many buildings had been destroyed, and it appeared to be a thinner part of the city. You could easily see a small, makeshift cliff in the distance.

They ran across the waste, trying to keep low to avoid being seen for as much as possible. They climbed a small path, onto the makeshift hill made of years of abuse of buildings and wreckage. Nate looked back, and smiled. All of Paris could be seen.

"Alright," said Shatner, "We made it, but we're not out of the woods yet. We need to get out of here, and put some serious distance between us and them."

"Go," said Nate, pointing away from himself, "Head in that direction. Move quickly; but… I need…"

Nate dragged Iawn and Charles aside, pointing back at the city.

"I need your help, guys," Nate told them.

"What's going on?" asked Shatner, confused, "What are you doing?"

"You go, I'll catch up," said Nate, smiling and pointing at his head, "I forgot something."

Nate winked, which enraged Shatner, but with Seth, Kevin, and Andy heading in the direction Nate pointed out, and Leo beginning to follow them out, He shook his head and turned and jogged after them.

"You're a fool, Flint," he yelled behind him, "Don't get those boys killed!"

"That's the idea," said Nate, under his breath, then he turned to Charles and Iawn, "Iawn, you have a rifle with an OK scope, and Charles, you still have those binoculars? Good, listen up. When I give you the signal, begin shooting. Anyone… anywhere… especially if they are running behind me, or shooting in my general direction. Good luck, guys. Stay here and don't get killed."

"Oh, RIGHT," said Iawn, smiling, "Some ACTION!"

"We'll be here," said Charles, smiling.

"I'll be right back," said Nate, lowering his goggles and walking off, grasping at his rifle.

Iawn and Charles smiled at one another.

"That is epic, mate," said Charles.

"Like a blasted action movie!" said Iawn, then he frowned, "He should have said something better, though. 'I'll be back' would've been good."

Nate peered out of the alleyway, staring down the second back street. The sounds of raging music and gunfire filled his ears, and the sense of danger was high in his mind. He crouched as he walked, and hugged the side of the wall as he turned the corner and made his way down the alleyway. He could hear the beginning of some sort of speech, coming in and out of English and French.

"My… PEOPLE," the voice rang out in the English portions, "Ze Americans think they can once again rule our planet. But…"

He cut into French once more, and Nate turned another corner. A lone guard stood, writing some sort of letter, alone in the alleyway. He smirked as he wrote it, his eyebrows raising and lowering easily. Nate took a deep breathe, and pulled out his pistol from its holster. Taking a few silent steps forward, he straightened up, and gained the energy to approach the unknowing guard.

Nate kicked the back of his knee, sending the guard downward, onto one knee and letting out an exclamation of surprise, dropping his pencil, but clutching onto the letter. Nate, not waiting for him to recover, held out his pistol, aiming directly down into the back of his head, and he pulled the trigger. The sound of the pistol blended right in with the rest of the gunfire that went off in agreement to something said in the French portion of the speech. The man's body crumpled, and slunk over, now empty of the soul that had once inhabited it.

Nate held his gun back, looking around. Trying to erase the image from his mind, he quickly walked past the dead body, and peered around the corner and saw the coast was clear.

The next corner Nate took lead Nate into a very small alleyway. Nate could see the precession taking place on the other end. A guard was at the end of the alleyway, watching the speaker. Past him, Nate could see a little of what was happening, but chose to ignore it for the time being. Nate snuck downward, and wondered how to deal with this guard. As he continued down, Nate saw a door into the building next to him, and he opened it and made his way inside. Inside, it appeared to be some kind of armory. Weapons were thrown about everywhere. Grenades could be seen here and there. Ammo belts and ammunition boxes were strewn about the room.

Nate spotted a large group of windows that stretched the length of the side of the building. Outside, he saw that the speaker was none other then the LeVuke guy from earlier, and he walked around in the middle of a courtyard of some sort, Fred was in the center, bleeding from one eye and hunched over, seeming to want to roll into a ball to disappear.

"Americans!" yelled LeVuke, going back to English, and spitting on the ground, "It is time we put them in their place. Beat them to death… hang zem from our glorious Eifel Tower! Defile their bodies, and send zem BACK to America to send a message. We are ze best, WE are in charge… WE are taking back our WORLD!"

This was followed by an outcry from the French who spoke English, and a small delay in the outcry from those who didn't, as it was repeated by their friends in French.

Nate spotted a staircase farther down, and he ducked behind a counter and headed in that direction. Nate passed by a table, and stopped cold. A smile spread slowly across his face.

"Oh yeah," he whispered to himself, "I need this."

Nate was looking at one of the tables next to him, and a Rocket Propelled Grenade Launcher was in the open, ready and loaded. A second RPG sat next to it, so Nate grabbed the rocket, and worked to place the launcher on his shoulder and he smiled dirtily. He now wasted no time getting up the stairs and looking around up there. No guards appeared to be on the second floor, so he kneeled down, and headed towards the ledge. One whole side was blown open, leaving a large opening looking down at what was happening. Nate spotted a large fuel truck, now, which seemed to pump fuel into a large tank that had obviously been salvaged from somewhere else. So, they DID have electricity.

His attention turned to the crowds of Frenchmen and Women standing and sitting around, cheering and firing upwards. LeVuke grinned at the outcry, and he knelt down next to Fred, whispering something to him. Finally he stood, and pointed down at Fred.

"Alright, Cowboy. Don't talk. There's no point in talking," cried LeVuke, then he turned and smiled into the crowd, "None of your Cowboy friends can save you out here. This isn't your America… your Wild Wild West. This is France! This is Europe!"

Nate's eyes narrowed, and his head shook slightly.

"I… am like Napoleon," said LeVuke, seeming to calm slightly, "And like Napoleon, I demand the glory of France to be recognized in our world! And Like Napoleon… I will lead my army across Europe… across the WORLD, and we will show them all! No one will stop us! Not a Nazi, not a Russian, not a English man… Not a Chinaman, and, definitely, no filthy, stinking, stupid, American Cowboy!"

This ignited a large amount of praise and cheers from his heated crowd, and his eyes scanned over what his words have done.

Nate sidled out, and aimed down the sights of the RPG. LeVuke caught the movement, and their eyes locked. LeVuke went from surprise, to anger and sheer rage, to fear at the realization of the situation.

"Yippie-Kie-Aye, Frenchy," yelled Nate, and he pulled the trigger, as hard as he could.

The rocket soared from the launcher, and veered off almost instantly. LeVuke covered his head, and dived as the rocket streaked overhead, and slammed into the large tank of gas. The tank exploded immediately, igniting the truck and all those around it as well.

Nate swore under his breath, loading the second rocket. A second explosion erupted not far away, and a few seconds after that, another ignited slightly farther out. Nate shook his head, now the whole damn city was burning!

Nate placed the rocket on his shoulder once more, and aimed at the largest group of raiders he could see. The other French Raiders were still shocked at what had happened, and were trying to work out what had happened in a short amount of time. As the second rocket shot from the launcher and slammed into the side of the building, taking with it the majority of the crowd Nate had aimed for, the group of raiders began to disperse, some in fear, some in confusion, and some in anger.

Nate dropped the launcher without a second thought, grabbing his rifle and running from the ledge down the stairs. He took aim at the door, and counted to three. Sure enough, the door was wretched open and the guard from earlier stumbled in. He put three rounds into his chest and he fell through the door, and he immediately put four into the one behind him, who fell to the right.

A third, who began putting together what had happened to his allies, began to stumble in, but before he put the pieces together, Nate had riddled his body with bullets. Nate waited for a moment, trying to see who would come through next. No one did, and so Nate head for the door, and peered around the corner into the ally. He didn't see any threats, so he left the doorway, stepping over the bodies, and he made his way out into the courtyard.

Nate shot one guy who almost ran into him, and he continued towards where Fred lay. Fred clutched at his ears, looking around completely confused. Nate grabbed his arm, lifting him up and pushing him onward.

"What… the F***, man," yelled Fred, "You guys almost hit me. What was THAT?"

"Me," said Nate, firing at a few raiders who were beginning to get their act together, "It's just me."

"What?" asked Fred, "Just you? You! You pulled my ear… you gave me UP! You… ass HOLE!"

"Can you shut up," asked Nate, "Or at least speak some damn French, blend in a little."

"Where're we going?" asked Fred, looking around.

"The long way," said Nate, "I'm looking for…"

A man stumbled in front of Nate, and Nate smiled, spotting his brown Fedora on his head. The man locked eyes with Nate, and Nate nodded.

"Nice hat," said Nate, then he pressed his gun barrel against the man's chest and pulled the trigger, allowing one shot to go clean through his body.

The man fell over, and Nate replaced his Fedora on his head. Fred stared at the whole situation in horror, and Nate ignored it, shoving the man's pistol into Fred's hands.

"What?" asked Nate, then he nodded at the gun, "Do something useful, shoot something. NOW we can go."

Nate ducked down as another explosion was heard, and he shook his head, dragging Fred behind him through the city.

The confusion was so great, that they passed by roughly unnoticed through the city streets and through the alleys. Nate seemed to get more and more angry as time went on, but the explosions that continued happening kept him in his own state of confusion.

"Everything's blowing up," exclaimed Nate, finally, "Why? I shot one frickin' thing! One thing!"

"That's not your diversion plan?" asked Fred.

"I had a plan?" answered Nate, looking at Fred.

This did not ease Fred's fear, and his eyes widened, "What… ARE you. There's no way you're human. You're like… some sort of mutated… lucky… Unlucky prick who was spawned in the nuclear radiated cesspool of SATAN!"

"Wow, thank you," said Nate, putting on a fake smile, "You didn't have to be so kind. I only saved your life and all… no big deal."

"You didn't save my life! You've taken me out of the pot… and INTO another POT!"

"Yeah… well… our pot has cookies," said Nate, finishing that conversation and grabbing Fred's shoulder, dragging him along further.

Another minute or so and Nate found himself running across the waste once more, Fred in tow. They were a little farther up then when he had come in, but he found the spot where Iawn and Charles were easily and he climbed the hill.

Iawn and Charles wrestled on the ground, fighting over the binoculars.

"No, I wanna see it. It's my TURN!" yelled Iawn.

"They're my opticals, you wankah!" yelled Charles, "Get off me you motherless twit!"

"Hey!" yelled Nate, getting their attention, "What are you two doing?"

"I want to see the explosions," said Iawn, "And he's been hogging the opticals."

"You kidding me?" yelled Nate, "You have a RIFLE with a SCOPE. Wait a minute… What is WRONG with you? Where was my covering fire? What did I tell you about helping me before I left?"

"You said, wait for the signal," answered Iawn.

Nate's face was sheer surprise, and he opened his hands up wide and pointed at Paris, which now burned and small explosions continued to make large fireballs and smoke puffs out of the city.

"What the HELL do you think all of THAT is?" asked Nate.

Iawn's face softened, and he began to think, finally saying, "Ooooohhhh…."

"Oh my god…" said Fred, grasping at his forehead, "You've destroyed Paris… you've destroyed it."

"Oh, come on," said Nate, "It's not that bad… Come on, we got to go."

"Not that bad?" asked Fred, "What do you MEAN it's 'not that bad'? It couldn't POSSIBLY get any WORSE!"

This time, a much larger explosion was heard, one that shook the very earth under their feet. At the base of the Eifel Tower, large smoke and fire spewed from everywhere, and multiple explosions all happened at once. The tower itself shook, and its creaking and straining could be heard from where Nate stood.

Then, the Tower began to lean and bend, and to Nate's horror, it seemed to slowly, crash down. Buildings, vehicles, and more explosions were swallowed up by the dust and debris of the Tower's fall. It was all over in a minute or two.

"Why…" asked Nate, turning towards Fred of absolute horror, "Do you people ALWAYS have to say that? It's like you are BEGGING for it."

"Blimey," said Charles.

"That's cool," mumbled Iawn, still in a state of awe.

"Alright," said Nate, "Come on, we have to catch up. Let's go."


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The smoke still rose above Paris, and it could be seen well outside of the city. Fred didn't look back, and he almost ran through the next two towns they passed through. Nate was beginning to get annoyed when Iawn and Charles stopped dead in their tracks, and looked around the third town they entered.

"Stop," said Iawn, finally.

Nate and Fred stopped, Nate scanning the area with his rifle. Fred just seemed so upset, but he was still too shaken to want to head on alone. Charles brought up his hands, and made a strange sound similar to a small baby bird. There was silence for a while, just the sound of their heavier breathing.

Another small bird sound could be heard, and Iawn and Charles face lit up, smiling at some sort of butcher's shop nearby. Nate seemed confused, until Leo burst out of the shop and ran to them, embracing them.

"I thought I had LOST you GUYS!" yelled Leo, small tears in his eyes, "This whole situation is so… stressing. I want to go home!"

"Home? Screw home! This is AWSOME!" yelled Iawn, "You MISSED it, mate. Nate Flint, he went into the city all 'I'll be back, it's HAMMERTIME!' and he blew everything and the kitchen sink UP! It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in me life!"

"He did what?" asked Shatner, who now emerged from the shop, along with Seth and Andy.

"Wow," said Nate, under his breath, "How did you do that? I mean… it was like you KNEW."

"There's things you learn, you know," said Charles, "We're all each other have. And us three… we're like brothers."

"Ha, No!" said Leo and Iawn together, taking a step back from Charles.

"Fred!" yelled Andy, a surprised smile on his face.

Seth smiled, and nodded at Nate.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going back? Especially for Fred?" he asked.

Nate shrugged, "I told you, I went back for my hat… I bumped into Fred along the way."

"This… lunatic," began Fred, walking past Nate and standing towards Shatner, "He's… he's a tool of PURE DESTRUCTION!"

"You have no idea," sighed Shatner, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

"Paris… is BURNING!" yelled Fred, getting into a frenzy, "It's just… Burning!"

"Why… am I not surprised," asked Shatner.

"What do we care?" said Seth, multiple agreements coming from the others.

"Aren't you afraid?" asked Fred, "Those Raiders are going to find us… they're going to GET us."

"I think we had to face that either way," said Shatner, "And though I disagree with the razzing of one of the world's most historic and monumental cities, I think it will keep them off our back long enough."

Fred lifted his finger, and he took more steps towards the others, "He blew up the Eifel Tower! The whole damn thing… GONE!"

This made Shatner's face change, and he shook his head, "Oh no… you didn't? You racists bastard."

"I'm not racists!" exclaimed Nate.

"French is a race," answered Shatner.

"French is a plague," answered Nate, "Besides, it wasn't my fault. One thing led to another… things were exploding everywhere. How do we know it was truly ME who did it? I mean… wow. Way to be thankful for me saving your ASS."

"Now… he may have a point," said Shatner, "That nut will want revenge for everything… you heard him talk."

"Oh, yes I did," said Nate, "I know what he said. 'I am Napoleon, I will show the world, Americans this… Americans that… oh-huh-huh, look at my mustache!' I can take him… he's not even SHORT. Frickin'…"

"Look, I'm glad you went back," said Shatner, "But now we need to make sure we keep moving. We can't stay here, it's dangerous. We need to move out, and fast."

"I agree," said Nate, "Let's keep going in that direction. Hey… where's Kevin?"

"He's out back," said Seth, motioning to the back of the butcher shop, "It's awesome, we found so much alcohol! You want some?"

Shatner made a motion with his hand, and Nate's face scrunched up.

"He… really doesn't drink," answered Shatner, while Nate shook his head.

"Yeah, but MAN can he sing," said Pandora, smiling and nodding, "And he is funny."

Nate shook his head, and he turned and started walking.

"Go get him, please… and let's go," said Nate, "Times wasting!"

"I agree," said Shatner, "The farther we are, the safer we'll be."

So, they headed off into an unknown direction, leaving the burning Paris behind. Kevin and Seth tried to stash as much beer and other forms of alcohol on them, but soon, they were unable to walk once more. They stumbled along, supporting each other, and laughing, telling stories, and singing small songs together.

"So… so this guy, right, he's all like, 'Ey! What are you doin' with my bloody SHEEP!' and I, I stood up and puffed out my chest and said, 'You, sir, are a monster. Why is this sheep BLOODY!'," and Kevin began to laugh, Seth joining him.

"That's not even FUNNY!" yelled Leo from farther up, "You Welsh wouldn't know a good laugh if it slapped you in the face!"

Seth tried, poorly, to hold in a laugh before saying, "What's a joke doing slapping people in the face?"

This ignited drunken laughter from both Kevin and Seth, and the rest of the group rolled their eyes.

"So, why are you on this voyage?" Charles asked Andy, being careful as not to fall as he jumped from ruined car to ruined car on this highway-like road they were on.

"I wanted to leave home," said Andy, "I was so sick of California. You see, my dad used to be a mechanic, and a racecar driver before that, but after the war… he became somewhat of a scientist. He did a lot of experiments, studied anything and everything. Really helped build up our Californian colony."

"So… do you have a lot of refugees from the blast zone?" asked Shatner, getting a little serious about the question.

"No, not really," answered Andy, to Shatner's disappointment, "I mean, we got a few group way back in the beginning, and a few who were up North at the time, but after the bombs hit and the war, I don't believe anyone else really came. Not exactly sure why."

"Oh," said Shatner, looking away.

Nate spotted this, and he rubbed his chin. Nate was about to say something, but was glad when Leo picked up on it.

"What's wrong?" said Leo to Shatner, "You really liked Hollywood or something? Got family?"

Shatner hesitated, but eventually decided there was no harm in saying anything, "I lived there… before I went to DC to study. It was tough… life wasn't too good… I never really liked it, but it was home. I went to DC to study… but my family didn't."

They stopped that conversation right then. Everyone knew where it was going. No one wanted to go there.

"And… then I woke up, and I was in the water," said Kevin, walking slower now next to Seth, "And the boat… it was just… NOT THERE!"

"Oh no," said Seth.

"And… I figured out later that… comedian just… CRASHED it. Right into the French Coastline."

"Oh, what a shame," said Seth.

"It wasn't so BAD," said Nate, crossing his arms, "I'm gonna get him two bigger ones…"

"On the road again," sang Nate.

"Oh, GOD no!" yelled Shatner, shooting a glare back, "NOT SINGING! Play I spy or something, but NOT SINGING!"

"Fine… I spy…" said Nate, squinting his eyes and looked around the tundra, "With my little eye… A TANK!"

"What?" said Shatner.

"Defeats the purpose of the game," commented Pandora.

"No, look, a TANK!" said Nate again, pointing.

"NO!" answered Shatner, angrily.

"But… it's a TANK!" yelled Nate, "It's a Tank, Shat-"

"I KNOW, IT'S a TANK!" yelled Shatner, "I SWEAR to GOD!"

"It looks too damaged," murmured Kevin.

At this, Nate gasped in surprise, and ran off the road towards the tank. Sure enough, a light smoke was coming out of the other side, and Nate could spot that most of the side not facing him and clearly been blown away, melted, and turned to ash, rendering the armored vehicle useless.

Pandora and Iawn ran up next to him.

"Tough luck, mate," said Iawn.

"This could have been useful, too," said Pandora, patting Nate on the back and running back towards the group.

Nate had a slight tearing effect going on in his eyes, but he wiped them away, straightened up, and began to walk back towards the group.

"And then, he blew up the whole DAMN building down the street, and nearly blew everyone's eardrums!" finished Shatner.

"It's totally understandable," answered Fred, "Totally not the right way to handle the native survivors."

"Now, now, wait just a second," struck in Seth, "You're travelers, on a decent mission trying to save the world, right? And these little savages had a teammate surrounded and were obviously hostile. Doesn't it make sense to take all options available to insure your own survival?"

"THANK YOU!" said Nate, throwing his hands into the air.

"Plus, it was bad-ass," chimed in Leonard.

"Wait, aren't you three apart of this 'savage' group that attacked Brom?" asked Fred.

"Yeah, we were," said Charles.

"It was MY group," said Iawn, "I'm the leader, the Mighty Iawn."

"Can it, you twit," shot Leo, "You aren't fit to lead us anywhere except to EXTINCTION, besides… I'm the true leader."

"Like Irish Balls you are!" yelled Iawn, getting upset.

"ENOUGH," said Shatner, cutting this old argument short.

"Besides, it was a TANK!" continued Nate, "Who knows when that would be helpful. It's armored, it moves, and it SHOOTS! It's perfect for travel now-a-days."

"Tanks suck down fuel, they attract a lot of attention, and you couldn't get it past most of the city without leaving a wake of crushed and destroyed items behind you," Shatner spat back.

"It's a TANK Shatner," said Nate, "I think the dead people will understand."

"UGH! You are such a CHILD!" said Shatner.

"Ok, stop," said Fred, "You two… everyone! You argue all the TIME! How do you get anything done when all you do is argue?"

"We DON'T! It's a part of our charm," answered Nate, "We fight, and we walk. That's all you really CAN do."

"And you two, you're supposed to be the leaders and whatnot," chimed in Andy.

"Ha, what?" said Charles, "They aren't our leaders… they're not MY leaders, anyway."

"We don't really have any 'leaders' I suppose," said Shatner, "Haven't really had any chance to draw that line, you know?"

"I'm the leader!" yelled Iawn and Leo at the same time, who glared at one another and continued saying, "No You're not, I AM!"

"OK!" said Shatner, throwing up his hands, "We may not know who the 'leader' is, but it sure as HELL isn't any of you three. And Pandora, you just aren't there yet."

"I don't want to be the leader," said Pandora, "I'm not ready, besides… I wouldn't know where to go or what to do. It's a lot of responsibility, you know."

The group grew silent, and they slowly came to a halt, standing around in a large group and looked from one to the other. Shatner sighed. He didn't want to be the leader… for that reason. Once you claimed yourself the head of the group, the one that makes the decisions… then you are responsible for that group. Their happiness, their sadness, their wealth and their shortcomings would all, in some respect, fall upon their leader. Shatner did not want that… at all.

"So…" said Andy, crossing his arms, "Why isn't comedian your leader?"

All together, the rest burst out laughing, causing Nate to flush red in a mixture of anger, embarrassment, and even a little amusement at the idea himself.

"Are you serious?" asked Shatner, "He crashed a PLANE!"

"And my boat," chimed in Kevin.

"And a tank," said Charles.

"That one wasn't-" started Nate.

"And he blew up half of Paris!" exclaimed Fred.

"And he wears that stupid hat," chuckled Seth.

"Ok, you know what, this hat-" Started Nate again.

"And, he's childish, he's clueless, he's ignorant," began Shatner, getting a little more serious and hostile with each statement and pointing towards Nate, "He's trigger happy, and he's the whole reason we are IN this MESS! Trouble follows him like fleas follow mammals. And… I just don't… GET it."

Nate seemed a little hurt, but he knew what Shatner said was true. Still, the new attacks on him made him defensive, and he straightened up and pointed at Shatner himself.

"And… what about YOU!" said Nate, "You… you are too careful, you don't take risks, you are scared to command, you are too easily contempt in whatever situation you are in, no matter how dire! And… and… Have you even FIRED your goddamned weapon the ENTIRE TIME I have been with you?"

"Yes," said Shatner, then he got a little uneasy as he thought about it, "I Did… I must've."

"And… You just have….no… HOPE!" continued Nate, then he turned to the group, "Why don't you guys SEE! It's not about every little bad thing that has happened. It's about… HOPE! I mean… UGH! The WORLD is DYING! Don't you see? Don't you get it? Everyone left alive in a civilized manner are dying off. Humanity… civilization… culture… it's all DYING! Look back there, you remember Paris? Raiders? Huh? It's all DEAD! That's our world. War… and more war… and raping, and looting, and fighting, and tough Raiders running this PLACE! That's what our world is, and it's only getting WORSE!"

There was silence, because everyone knew what was being said was true in some capacity. No one bothered to chime in anymore. Then Nate pointed at Iawn and Leo, then carried it over to Charles.

"England… it's gone… all of it. There's just a bunch of KIDS playing lost boys in the ruins. Staying up late, eating whatever they can scrounge… NO RULES, no order… no frickin' LEADER!" then Nate pointed at Kevin, "And in Wales is one of the best colonies on the earth, AND connected to the WWBC. What are they doing? They're ALONE! They just… sit there. They wouldn't even help us OUT!"

"You stole one of our boats!" said Kevin, "No wonder why we didn't help you. We couldn't TRUST you."

"We gave you MEDICINE! We were heroes!" countered Nate, "Besides, we didn't steal it. You were the only one friendly enough to try and help us."

"And you CRASHED my boat," said Kevin.

"I'm SORRY, ok? God… keep beating THAT horse why don't you?" answered Nate, crossing his arms.

Everyone was quiet, each thinking of what had been said. Pandora picked up some pebbles, and began throwing them at a nearby sign. No one wanted to say anything. Seth sipped nervously at a flask, but a glare from Fred and Andy made him put it away.

"Sorry," said Andy, turning back, "For bringing it up."

"It's fine," said Shatner, "We're just all under a lot of stress. There… there is no leader. Let's leave it at that."

One of Pandora's rocks hit the sign, creating a loud crash, making a lot of people jump. Everyone turned, and he shrugged in an apology. Nate sighed, and pointed towards the sign.

"So… where are we heading, Shatner?" asked Nate, "You can read Frenchy."

"That's not French," said Shatner, sighing, then he thought about it, and looked at the sign, "That's not French. That's a different language."

"How can it not be French?" asked Nate.

"It's… it's…" stuttered Shatner, then he turned around to the group, "I think it's German."

"German? How can it be German," exclaimed Nate.

"Well… we must've entered Germany at one point," said Shatner, looking around, "We've been walking for quiet a long time, you know?"

"Shouldn't there been some sort of toll booth… border guard… something like that?" said Kevin, "Or a sign? Something that said 'Welcome to Germany' or something?"

"HA!" Nate laughed, smiling, "There is no such sign in France, dude. The French are not welcome in Germany. Besides, there's no point having a sign like that for the French. All the roads from France to Germany are one way."

This inspired a chuckle from some of the group, but Fred crossed his arms.

"So, now what?" he said, "Head in that direction? We now know we were going in an easterly direction. So… head to the Mediterranean?"

"It's not a good idea, we still are not sure if we're being followed or not," said Shatner.

"The odds of that? Unlikely," said Seth.

"With our luck? I'm not willing to take that chance," said Shatner, "Now; I think we can make our way to a fishing depot located somewhere near Athens."

"Athens? Greece?" said Nate, "Really? That far?"

"Well," answered Shatner, "There's a colony there, one of the few others in the WWBC. We can get help there from them. One of the guys owes me a favor. Sure, we'll owe him after this, but the favor might be big enough to get them to consider helping us, at least into Africa."

"I don't like it," said Nate, crossing his arms, "But how much choice to we have exactly? None."

"Alright," said Shatner, "We can change route when we are sure we are not being followed, but until then we do not have any other way of knowing."

"Alright," said Nate, "Better then nothing. So, where are we going for a map or something."

Shatner pointed at the sign, "Well… its original writing is really bad… but the stuff scratched into it says something along the lines of, 'Ruhrgebiet ahead, stay clear'. A warning?"

"For the French, maybe," said Nate.

"Or any unwanted guests, they might want to keep Raiders and Looters away," answered Pandora.

"Good thinking," said Fred, "So, we should go around."

"We need food and some more supplies," said Nate, "We can't afford to go around, and we have little idea about where we are. So… we MUST do this."

"We really don't," said Fred, again getting angry, "Look, we're here because of a FAVOR. Now our team is dead, and our plane splatter all over France. I don't have time to argue with your stupidity, comedian."

"Ok, and let me tell you this," said Nate, "I don't have time for a whiny little pretty-boy from Cally coming up with a way to get us all KILLED because he's having a crisis. Got it? Life sucks, crap happened, now we need to DEAL with it."

"Pretty-Boy?" questioned Fred, getting quite offended.

"He's got a point," agreed Shatner, "We need some maps, and definitely some more updated ones then the ones we were going off of before. The best place to find that is close to a city or town, where old vehicles are somewhat plentiful."

"Sounds like a plan," said Kevin, nodding.

"I'm still not sure," said Seth, but then he nodded and smiled, "I've gotten into enough tight spots back in the States to teach me that sometimes what you are not sure of is the best bet. Let's GO!"


	19. Fourth of July Special

**Fourth of July**

"Ok, a little to the left," said Nate, "It needs to look PERFECT!"

"Alright," said Seth, "This, is ridiculous. How am I supposed to get any of this off?"

Kate walked up on this scene, shaking her head and putting her hands on her hips, glaring down at the group she now saw. Nate, Shatner, Seth, Pandora, Andy, and Fred all sat behind a bunker made of rocks and broken wood pallets, as well as other garbage. A salvaged American flag hung over the bunker, flapping in the wind, and they all cleaned and loaded guns, several of them with their faces painted blue.

"My God," said Kate, rubbing her face, "What ARE you Americans doing?"

"Oh, hey Kate," said Shatner, looking up and noticing her.

"You know what today is?" said Nate.

"It's July Fourth, Unknown year, yes. Why?" asked Kate.

"Today is Independence Day!" said Fred, "Our four fathers' day of great victory over British tyranny!"

"Oh… that's right," said Kate, sighing and crossing her arms, "Fourth of July…"

"That's right," said Seth, pumping a shotgun he held in his hands, "One of the greatest days named after the actual date since 'Cinco de Mayo'."

"What's 'Cinco de Mayo'?" asked Andy.

"Some Mexican holiday. God and the Mexicans know what happened that day. I don't know what it is," said Nate.

"Please, it's 'Independence Day', call it right," said Shatner, "You don't call Thanksgiving 'Second Thursday in November' do you?"

"I thought it was the fourth," said Nate.

"I thought it was a Tuesday," said Andy.

"Thanksgivingk Day?" asked Kate.

The Americans just shook their heads at her, not wanting to explain.

"Now you're going to tell me you don't know the 25th of December Day either," said Pandora, "Or call it 'X-Mass' like some Atheist punk who hates puppies."

"You mean Christmas?" asked Shatner.

"Fine, whatever," said Kate, "Sorry I asked. Wait… no… I'm REALLY sorry for asking this: Why are you in a dumb looking fort with an old American flag?"

"Well, you see," started Shatner, "We, as Americans, thought it was important to reenact our greatest triumphs AS Americans."

"Yeah," said Pandora, "So we've made up this Declaration of Independence and we all signed it."

"'Score is Four to One, seven years ago, and our fathers before us fought to end tyranny of anyone who wasn't Americans'," read Andy, from a piece of paper beside him, "And to the Republic, for which it stands, One Nation, about 27 soul survivers, and the Taco Bell Dog…'"

"Ok, I get it," said Kate, holding up her hand, "I really don't need to know.

"And, we reinvented the WHEEL," said Nate.

"And the plane," said Seth, throwing a paper airplane.

"And the telephone," said Shatner, holding up his satilite phone.

"Hey, Americans didn't," started Kate.

"And indoor plumbing… sorta," said Pandora.

"And a Castle, and anything else military oriented," said Seth.

"Right… you know vhat, fine," said Kate, holding up her hands and backing up, "You guys do whatever. Just don't hurt anyone."

"Hurt anyone? This reenactment is perfectly safe," said Shatner, smiling and pointing away from them.

Kate looked, and gasped in shock. Iawn, Leo, Charles, and a tied-up Kevin were all painted red, and their cloths had been dyed red, and they stood out not far off, a torn British flag in their hands. They made war chants, and beat their chests.

"My GOD, what are you doing?" asked Kate.

"Duh, we're reenacting our day of glorious victory!" said Nate, "The Brits will attack us, and we will DEFEAT them!"

"Why is Kevin tied up?" asked Kate, "He's not even British!"

"He's Welsh, and that's good enough," said Pandora, "Besides, we NEEDED to make it fair… more fair, and he didn't want to help. Now he's tied up as the British officer."

"You MUST be joking," said Kate.

"I thought the idea was slightly retarded myself, but after preparing for it, it seems like it's the PERFECT thing to go along with the rest of our celebration plans," said Shatner.

"Oh… I'm going to regret this," said Kate, saying something else in German, then switching back to English, "Fine, what ELSE to you have planned."

"See that building over there?" said Nate, pointing.

Kate looked, in the distance was a broken city, Moscow, and the damaged Kremlin stood in the wreckage.

"Yes," said Kate.

Nate pulled out a detonator, and slammed the button with his thumb as hard as it would go. The building instantly erupted in a giant explosion, fire and smoke being thrown up for possibly miles. Everyone laughed and cheered, except for Kevin and Kate. Kate rubbed her face, sighing.

"You just blew up the Russian Kremlin…" said Kate, "Why?"

"He's already got a good amount of national landmarks under his belt," said Shatner, "So we just let him add one more. Guess who won the cold war? We just DID!"

"It didn't work," said Nate, his eyes welling up with tears, "I painted them red white and blue so that they would be nice and colorful when they went off. Why didn't it work?"

"This is ridiculous," said Kate, turning around and walking off, "Enjoy your day, boys."

"Hey, come back!" said Shatner, "We need you! We're going to do a reenactment of Trench warfare!"

"We already dug the trenches," said Nate, "And we'll need you for when we storm our reenacted Normandy!"

"Oh… I'll give you something to reenact," mumbled Kate, cracking her knuckles as she walked away, "Just try and tie ME up."

"Damn… oh well," said Nate, "OK, Brits, you ready? And… ACTION! 'Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes, boys!'"


	20. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

They approached the edge of the city, overlooking it from a large highway. One by one, their mouths dropped in awe. The city stretched as far as the eye could see. In many areas, nature had already begun to reclaim the structures and land that was taken so many years ago. Tall towers and buildings sprouted from every which way and it was the high example of a ruined city.

They walked slowly into the city, and they eyed the houses and (farther in) the buildings with a vengeance. They didn't get very far in when Shatner eased them to stop, and gathered them up for a discussion.

"Alright," he whispered, eyeing each one, "We need to be very careful. I don't want to be caught up in another sticky situation. We need to split up."

"Great plan," said Nate.

"Yeah, I'll take Fred, uh… Lovecraft, Bailey, uh… and Charles. Nate, you take Kevin, Leo, Iawn, and Seth."

"Dude, now this plan sucks," said Nate, "Why do I get Iawn?"

"Hey," burst out Iawn.

"How about we trade?" continued Nate, "The two Brits for Beatle?"

"It's not a trade," said Shatner, "And it is not negotiable. These are the teams."

"Why is he the leader?" asked Seth.

"He'll bring the whole city down if we gave him the chance," said Kevin.

"Ok, now wait a minute," continued Nate.

"That's what you two are for," said Shatner, "Keep him out of trouble."

"Great," said Kevin, rolling his eyes.

Nate held out his hands to either side in question, but was ignored by everyone else. They nodded.

"Now, I figure one group on the high ground and one group on the low ground would be a good idea," Continued Shatner.

"Dibs," said Nate, "On the low ground."

"Do a vote," said Iawn, "High ground."

"High Ground," said the rest of Nate's group together, and then Kevin added in, "Dibs."

"Damnit," said Nate.

"I think it is best," answered Shatner, "Alright, so you guys need to find a way through all these buildings and cover us down below, alright?"

"Sounds good," said Fred.

"Let's find a vehicle," said Charles, "My FEET hurt!"

"Oh, get a sports car!" said Leo.

"We couldn't all fit in one," said Kevin.

"A tank," said Nate, "Just… throwing that out there."

"Let's get through this first," said Shatner, "Look out for maps and anything else helpful. Try not to get shot!"

"Alright," said Pandora, "And please, look out for us, don't shoot us."

"We'll look after you, Pandora," said Kevin, "Keep yourself seen, though."

"Alright," said Shatner, "Let's go, quickly now."

Nate sighed, but he left the group, examining the surrounding buildings. The groups dispersed, Shatner's slowly heading down the street and searching the charred vehicles and abandoned shops.

Nate brought his group to the side of the street, searching the rows of buildings that were there. He rubbed his stubble and looked up and down the building.

"We're looking for a door of some kind," said Nate, scowling at the rubble that blocked most of the ways in.

"Oh, OVER HERE!" yelled Iawn, further down a secondary street.

Nate nodded at Kevin, and they joined the rest down the street. Iawn was stepping back from painting something on the entrance. Nate's face scrunched up, as he read the graffiti on the door. Iawn, Leonard, and even Seth chuckled and laughed to themselves as Nate examined the entrance.

Painted in big red paint all up and down the entrance was a series of words. On the door was painted the words "The Gay Door", and on either side of the entrance were written various other statements like "Flint Enters This Exit Only" and "This Way To Happiness" and "Enter Here". Nate shook his head, crossing his arms at the crass joke. The others chuckled and laughed at each other.

"You like it?" asked Iawn, smiling.

Nate didn't say a word, he just shook his head.

"Would you like to enter my gaydoor? Fearless leader?" asked Iawn again, gesturing to the entrance.

"What… is this?" asked Nate, shaking his head.

"What?" asked Leo, still laughing, "You don't like it? It's a really nice gaydoor."

"Oh, you know what? It is a really nice gaydoor," said Nate stepping up to it and nodding as he examined it.

Without warning, Nate allowed his rifle to drop and hang from his neck, he pulled out the sawed off shotgun he had kept since Boston and fired a shot right into the door. He pumped and fired a shot into the door handle and pumped before anyone had time to react. A third shot went into the top hinge, and a fourth into the bottom hinge. With one swift kick, Nate knocked the door inward, and it dropped into the room beyond without any more issues.

Everyone took a step back and looked at Nate, the laughing had stopped. Nate looked at Iawn, and a smug smile spread across his face.

"Well… the door was unlocked," said Iawn, prompting Nate to shrug and smile bigger, Iawn continued with, "It was only a joke. Don't be so touchy."

Nate chuckled to himself, pulling down his goggles and strapping the shotgun once more to his back. Bringing his rifle to bear, he cautiously entered the building. Kevin was still laughing, and entered behind him, Seth ushering the others in after them.

Shatner walked down the street, carefully looking over the buildings for movement. Off shadows and stray noises kept them on edge. Pandora stayed close, but Fred and Charles wasted no time breaking into cars and vehicles and sticking their heads into shops.

"Something's not… right about this," said Pandora, "I don't like it. Something's not right."

"Just calm down a little," said Shatner, "I'm sure it's just Flint and his crew making as much noise as possible. He'll probably try scaring us to get me back."

"I'm already scared," said Pandora, but then he smiled to himself, nodding towards Shatner once more, "But this is the best adventure anyone has ever had in years, yeah?"

Shatner's eyes rolled, but some agreement from Charles closed the situation. No maps were found, but the overwhelming feeling of awkwardness rose with every second. Over time, it urked Shatner not to hear any responses from Nate, or any indication of survival. They continued on, scanning the roads carefully.

"So… you think this place is pretty weird?" asked Fred.

"I think it's pretty creepy," answered Pandora, who jumped at another sound not far off.

Nate kicked in another door, immediately scanning it with his rifle, sweeping the room carefully. Inside was a long office space, and the aged cubicles had been pushed over and dust had been collected.

Nate carefully walked in, followed immediately by Kevin, and the rest. Kevin was just as careful as Nate was, but Leo and Iawn walked leisurely in front of Seth, who rummaged through desks and rooms for anything useful.

"I think this area has already been scavenged," said Seth, looking around, "Several times, it appears."

"Who would win in a fight?" asked Iawn, "Shatner or Flint?"

"Shatner," said Leonard and Kevin together.

Nate turned, almost in surprise, "Serious?"

"Oh yeah," said Leonard.

"Hell yeah," said Kevin, almost smiling, "You'd find some way to shoot yourself."

"I don't know," said Seth, "I think that Bailey kid would find a way to swoop in and take them both out."

Nate was going to say something, but movement behind a door farther down the building shut him up. He pointed towards it, staying quiet.

"Damn," said Iawn, from the window, "I can't even see them from here. We need to get closer to the roof."

"They're probably further down the street," said Kevin, "We need to find a way further down these buildings and keep going."

"Well, how do you want to decide?" asked Seth.

"Flip a cent!" exclaimed Leonard.

"Yeah," said Iawn, "I think I got one."

As Iawn dug into his pockets, Nate walked up to the door, his eye sweeping below the door. Iawn pulled out a small coin, and the group gathered around him as they flipped it several times.

"Heads or Tails?"

"Heads."

"Wait, you're not a side, Leo," came Kevin's voice, "How do we know which one?"

"Flip again."

"Heads for the roof."

"Does that mean that tails is the basement?"

"Shut up, man."

"Flip it!"

The coin went into the air. Nate watched the bottom of the door closely. Light was filtering in oddly from the other side, and Nate was examining it closely. A shadow moved, and light filtered in from behind the door completely. Running footsteps ran down some sort of hallway on the other side of the door. Nate's eyes widened and he grasped the door handle, opening the door.

"HEY" he yelled, standing just behind the doorframe, afraid to poke his head around yet.

An intersection up ahead proved a good place to look for some sort of map. Shatner kept an eye on the buildings and allowed Andy and Fred search vehicles. Charles seemed a little more alert when they entered the intersection, but otherwise he was the same.

"Does something seem… awkward?" asked Pandora, standing closer to Shatner.

"What do you mean?" asked Shatner, looking at Pandora, "We haven't heard from them in several minutes?"

"Hey, I think I found something," said Fred, his hind end sticking out of the passengers window of some sort of car."

"Good," said Shatner.

"These vehicles…" said Pandora, pointing at them, "They're not like Paris… or England… or any of the other cities."

"What? It's Germany, German cars," said Shatner, but he began to examine them.

The cars did seem oddly set up, instead of randomly abandoned and parked, they seemed lined up, some of them ripped apart, or even on blocks in certain areas. At closer inspection, Shatner noticed the bullet holes in many of them, and his heartbeats seemed to get more intense.

"Look," pointed out Charles, "At least we know they'll be able to keep up with us. Look at the connectors keeping the buildings together."

Shatner looked, and now he understood. A Series of bridges connecting many of the buildings together. He quickly examined the cars again. They weren't parked or abandoned, they were set up. They were made as defensive positions, as walls. Theyw ere some sort of bunker.

"Oh God," said Shatner, looking around.

"Yes," yelled Fred, examining the pieces of paper he had in his hands, "I found them, I think I found them!"

He held his hands up, the maps flapping in the air. Shatner turned, in time to watch as the piece of paper exploded in his hand. Fred retracted after a jerk, large rounds smashing right through the vehicles and flying overhead. The roar of a fifty caliber machine gun ripped away the silence of the street. Shatner screamed something before hitting the ground. Pandora hit the ground right next to him. Cursing and screaming, Shatner looked around.

Charles was back a bit, and hadn't yet fully comprehended what was going on, but he was short enough to be concealed behind a car for the time being. Fred made it to the ground, Andy knelt next to him. Bullets ripped through cars and air alike, slamming into the buildings all around them.

"What now?" asked Pandora over the sounds of gunfire.

Shatner poked his head over the side. He spotted a group of people down the street, one man on an obvious gun emplacement, the rest running around, trying to assess the situation. They yelled German back and forth to each other.

"Yell something," said Charles, finally, "Stop firing you twats! Don't you know a damn friendly when you see one!"

"They don't look like they're raiders," said Shatner, "Maybe that's what they think we are. HEY! We're Americans! We're foreign! We're Peace! Peace!"

The gunners attention began to concentrate closer to Shatner, which caused Shatner to make himself smaller. Shatner searched his German vocabulary, thinking fast. He began to yell out whatever he could. "Stop". "Peace". "Please". "Friends".

"Look out!" yelled Pandora, trying to keep Shatner down.

"Damn!" yelled Shatner, "Run, just run! Run!"

Shatner rose, pushing Pandora along. Bullets whizzed past, and even shrapnel from the vehicles around them flew up and hit them in the face. Shatner dived as he reached the other end of the intersection.

Shatner got up, and took the safety off his rifle. He looked around, searching for the members of his group. Fred and Andy made it over, and Pandora lay on the ground, panting at the sprint he had just completed.

"Where's Afron?" asked Shatner, then he looked back into the intersection, "Where's Charles?"

Charles was stuck in the middle of the street, and he huddled down underneath a barrage of bullet fire. Shatner's eyes widened, and he knelt down, cuffing his hands over his mouth.

"Charles! Crawl! Please!" yelled Shatner, "Let's go, let's go, let's go!"

Charles looked up, before ducking once more when a rearview mirror exploded above him. Shatner licked his lips, thinking about the risks. He knelt down, and scuttled out holding out his hands.

"Come on," yelled Shatner, "Run! Come on! Run!"

Charles closed his eyes, then began to crawl, as fast as he could, towards Shatner's outstretched hand. The gunfire stopped, for a moment, and yells and cries in German came from the gun emplacement. This speeded Charles crawling up a good amount, and Shatner pulled him into the group.

"The map…" cried Fred, "I lost it."

"Screw the map," yelled Andy, "We need to get out of here!"

"I agree," said Shatner, "Let's GO!"

Nate breathed heavily, scared to look around the corner. Seth was quick to his side, holding his shotgun to bear, with Leo and Kevin coming right behind them.

"Who is it?" asked Seth.

"What was it?" asked Iawn from the back of the room, "Bugger! I lost my cent…"

"I don't know," said Nate, "We need to be careful… Hello!"

There was a pause, with no response. Nate waited, rubbing his chin in anticipation.

"Please, identify yourself or I WILL shoot you," yelled Nate, "I can't take the chance of being shot! Hello?"

"Hallo?" came a voice, from down the hall, "Anglish? Anglish?"

"English, yes, we're American!" yelled Nate.

"Ah, American," said the voice down the hall, "Is it time for you to show up already?"

"What do you mean?" asked Nate from down the hall.

"I'm not stupid, I know it is a matter of time before American troops come storming in, playing 'the savior' and things like that," yelled the man.

"Look, we're not soldiers," said Nate.

"What are you?" asked the man.

"We're treasure hunters," said Seth, nodding at Nate.

"No, we're lost," suggested Kevin.

"Missionaries," said Iawn.

"We're looking for our dog," said Leo, smiling at his contribution.

"Dude," said Nate, shaking his head, then he turned back down the hallway, "We're refugees, looking for comfort and… hope among Europe."

"Ha!" laughed Seth and the man from down the hall together.

Nate heard some talking and laughter from down the hall, and he repositioned himself accordingly.

"Look," said Nate, getting ready to continue the talks.

"Look, Americans," said the man, "Wherever you come from… whatever you have seen… I assure you, Germany is no prettier, and I think so is the rest of the world, I believe."

"Yeah," said Nate, leaning against the wall, "You're telling me."

"So… what's going down, American?" asked the man, "What are we going to do?"

"Well," said Nate, "I can't lie, our last few experiences haven't exactly been… friendly, so don't be offended it I don't exactly trust you."

"This city is cursed," said the man, "It's inhabitants are left to fight for the essentials, and whoever controls the knowledge, controls the life."

"Uh-huh," said Nate, "So where does that leave us?"

"Damn loon," murmured Leo.

"It means, I cannot trust you either," said the man, "So my boys and I are really anxious and a little jumpy these days."

"Alright, now look here," said Nate, "You tell your boys not to shoot, and all we want is to get to the roof. Alright? We have another part of our group on the ground we need to make sure get out OK. So… how can we do that?"

"Well… we don't want you coming near us, in any way. We'll fire on sight!" yelled the German.

"Well, we need to work something out," yelled Nate, "A Mexican Standoff isn't exactly the best place to be in both parties."

"Mexican Standoff?" questioned the German.

"Damn," said Nate, "Look, it means this, kid. I'm coming out, and if you shoot at me, we're going to chuck some grenades down there, and blow your Jerry-Ass up. Hear that?"

Nate's shoulder was tapped once more; he turned to look at the group.

"We don't have any grenades, do we?" asked Seth.

""Uh, I picked up a few in Paris… but I think I also used them in Paris," answered Nate.

"So we don't have any grenades," said Seth.

"What's a Mexican Standoff?" said Kevin.

"An Australian Bar Fight," answered Leo, giggling, "Nobody wins but those not involved."

"I thought it was a French Revolution," murmured Iawn.

"Ok, shut up," said Nate, "Look, we need to get out of here."

"American," said the man again, "Explosives are not a good idea. The buildings here, they are old. We stopped using explosives ourselves because of the danger of a collapse."

"How bad is the danger of collapse," said Nate, looking around the room as if examining its supports.

"Enough," said the German, "But we will let you pass. Listen, across the hall from you is a door, yah? You see it? In the next room is a stairwell. That will lead you to another floor, right above us. In that room is a way to the roof. You can use the rooftops there, just be careful for Handzel's and Witches. You go carefully, arms raised guns down, yah?"

"Now you listen here," said Nate, "Thanks for the information, but we're doing this our way, armed. I promise you, we won't fire on you, but you need to understand that we need to do it fast. One by one, with me going first. Got it?"

"Don't you dare American," said the man.

"Ok," yelled Nate, standing back and glaring at the closed door, "One, two, THREE!"

Everyone gasped as Nate charged at the door, jumping at the threshold of the door and soaring through the hallway, all his might slamming into the door on the other end. The door burst, falling of its hinges and breaking into three pieces. Nate landed on the other end, and picked himself up, examining the next room.

"Nice job," said Seth.

"Melodramatic," said Kevin.

"Stupid!" yelled the German from down the hall, then he began speaking with whoever was down there with him.

"Alright," said Nate, repositioning himself at the door, "My next team member is coming over. No firing now, nice and fast."

Seth nodded at Iawn, who's eyes widened. Leo's hand shot up, he smiled like a giddy schoolgirl. Kevin decided he would chose, and he pushed Leo up to the door, Iawn right behind him.

"No," said Seth, pointing at Kevin, "It's Leo, then you, then Iawn, then me."

"The older two should be on either side," said Kevin, furrowing his brow, "How old are you, anyway?"

Seth's eyes hardened, and he said nothing more. Kevin and Seth turned back to the group, and they looked around. Leo and Iawn had disappeared, and they began looking around the room. Nate's insistent coughing (fake coughing) brought them back to the door, where he motioned towards Leo and Iawn, who had already made it across.

"Thanks for having my back, Mates," said Leonard, "It means a lot to know that if anything went down, you would be there for me."

Kevin and Seth looked at each other, and shook their heads. Seth was the next to hurry across, he caught a glimpse of an overturned desk at the end of the hall, four figures with guns trained on him behind it.

Kevin was the last to go, being careful as to stay as low as he could, foolishly holding his gun above his head. They all made sure each of them was across, and Iawn found the stairwell, perfectly intact, and nodded at Nate. Nate nodded, looking down the hallway.

"Thanks, dude," Nate said, "Now we aren't going to have anyone following us, are we?"

"No, not from our side," said the man.

"So, now what, we just go our separate ways?" said Nate.

There was no response, and Nate waited. He poked his head out, and noticed that the hallway was now empty.

"Let's go," said Nate, "We need to get in touch with Shatner, let them know that we are not alone here."

Nate scurried up the stairs, followed by everyone else. The next floor was exactly the same way, except the windows had been blown out, creating a lot more light. Nate sat on one of the chairs, taking a small break.

"Out of breath already?" laughed Kevin, Leonard joining in.

"Shut up," said Nate, standing once more.

"OH COOL!" exclaimed Iawn, running forward, "A Sniper Rifle!"

Nate examined what looked to be an old Sniper's post, but the Sniper rifle had a bent barrel, and ammunition seemed low, or none-existent. Iawn was immediately intrigued with it.

"Stop," said Nate, "Don't touch anything."

"I'm not touching it," said Iawn as he slipped into it, starring down the sights, "Woah."

"Don't play with that, it could be dangerous," said Nate.

"Kevin and Seth had already walked off, into the next room. Leonard started up the stairs.

"Cool, look at this," said Kevin in the next room, "There are blown away walls with Bridges leading into the next building. Look at them all."

"Should we use the roof or the bridges?" asked Nate.

An explosion filled his ears, and debris hit areas behind him. Nate hit the ground, looking around and fumbling with his rifle. Seth was nowhere to be seen, Kevin went into the next room. Leo was dazed, looking to see the source. Then Nate heard it. Iawn screaming.

"Dammit," said Nate, he got up and ran over to Iawn, who was laying on the ground, clawing at his face. It looked as if the Rifle had exploded, pieces laying about, the barrel blown off, dust everywhere. The force shook the whole building, which oddly enough made Nate think of fifty caliber rounds.

"It exploded," yelled Iawn, "My eyes! My Eyes!"

"I told you," started Nate, "NOT to play with-"

The entire building began to shake, and Nate looked around. Leo held onto a desk, looking from Nate to the screaming Iawn.

"Oh no," said Nate, and sure enough he felt as the whole building shaked again, and he felt as if they dropped a few feet.

Nate looked at Leo, who looked at him.

"Run," was all that came out of his mouth.

Leo nodded, and took off into the next room, Nate did the same, and the building gave another jerk, now pieces of the building coming down around him. Leo immediately ran onto the bridge, and beckoned to Nate as he dragged Iawn along.

"Wait," said Nate, "Where's Kevin? Where's Seth?"

Another shake from the building whipped those thoughts from his mind as he grabbed Iawn and pulled him through the bridge. They reach the other side, and they turned around, Nate panting, Iawn whimpering, rubbing his eyes, and Leo looking around, nervously.

"Woah," said Nate, and he began to smile as the building dropped once more, it's supports collapsing.

The bridge they were on was ripped from the building, several others breaking or bending under the strain. The building had pieces falling off, and it began to sway. Nate's face hardened, though, when the building began to lean, slowly approaching the building they now stood in.

"Of coarse," said Nate, as he grabbed Iawn's hand again and began to run through the next room, "Run, Leo, RUN!"

They ran into the hallway, and sprinted down it as fast as they could. The building seemed to explode with vibrations and noise a second later, almost knocking Nate and Leo down. They continued down the hall, and Kevin popped up out of one of the rooms, a wine bottle in his hands.

"What was that?" he yelled.

"RUN!" yelled Nate, "Just RUN! Get to the roof."

Kevin immediately turned around and bolted, dropping the bottle sadly in replace with his shotgun. They ran further down the hall, until Kevin scurried up a staircase leading to the roof. They all followed him up the stairs.

Another jerk of the building left it at an awkward angle, making it difficult to get up the staircase, Kevin rammed his shoulder into the door, and it burst open, and then he ran out onto the roof. Nate was quick to follow, right behind Leo. Iawn was so confused, he just squinted and murmured, allowing himself to be dragged along like a child.

They ran, right along the roof, away from the broken building. This building was beginning to crash as well. When they reach the end of the roof, Nate heard Kevin yell "JUMP" before Kevin leapt from the edge, soaring through the air and landing, surprisingly, on the other roof. Leo was the same, barely making it, though, and it was Nate and Iawn's turn.

Nate felt another shutter of the building, and he looked in fear as the gap between the buildings closed so fast, he barely had time to think. As the second building slammed into the third, Nate and Iawn were launched into the air, landing on the third roof in time to feel it buckle beneath them.

Kevin saw Shatner and the rest of them running on the street below, running the same direction. He cuffed his hands, and yelled, "RUN!" downward, something that was futile for they were already running.

"What did you DO Flint?" yelled Fred's voice from the crowd.

"Screw you, 89fred," yelled Nate, "It was the Brit!"

"Why is this HAPPENING to me?" yelled Andy.

"RUN!" yelled Kevin, "Just… RUN!"

The building beneath their feet gave way, and it began to crumble beneath them. When they reach the end of the building, they jumped, but there was no way theyw ere going to make it.

Kevin burst through a window on one of the top floors, and Leo landed on a bridge, which he followed inside quickly. Nate and Iawn felt their bodies go light as they bypassed both of these, and hurtled to the building wall. Nate pulled up his legs, just barely bursting through the window. He grasped Iawn's hand, and for good reason. Iawn smacked into the building, and was unconscious in seconds. Nate held on, pulling him into the room just in time to feel the building they were in begin to shake and crumble.

"Like frickin' Dominos," said Nate, and he pulled back Iawn's head, confirming he was unconscious, "What did I TELL you, kid? Damnit, Gertrude!"

Nate slung his rifle on his back, and then lifted up Iawn, throwing him over his shoulder. The weight of the two people plus their packs almost overwhelmed Nate, and he fast-walked through the building as it began to shake and crumble.

"Must go faster," said Nate, as he felt the entire building drop, and he felt the debris hit his hat and bag, "Must go FASTER!"

The building began to tilt at an awkward angle, and up ahead the roof collapsed, building a ramp-like pile up onto the floor above. Nate saw a shadow jump across the chasm, heading the same direction as him. He climbed the pile, feeling as the building began to tilt. Nate saw two figures at the end, and recognized one of the screams as Leo.

When Nate reached the next floor, he saw they stopped at the end of the hallways, seemed to be talking by a window.

"Don't stop," yelled Nate, "Go! Through the window! Don't be afraid, go!"

Leo took a step back, relieved to see Nate, and Nate realized he didn't recognize the second person. But another shake from the building and more debris didn't stop him, and the momentum he had built up was not stopping, so he tackled the figure and Leo and they all together went through the window, out into the unknown.

They fell for a bit, and then hit the ground. It was some sort of hill, they perfectly flew out onto it. They rolled, and lay there, exhausted. Nate pushed Iawn off him, and he was able to breath better. Leo crawled on the ground, looking at Nate. Nate heard another scream, and saw Kevin launched himself out of the crumbling building and landing hard on the ground next to them. The building fell, dust and debris filling the area.

Through the new fog, a figure stood above Nate, and Nate saw a glint of a knife. The figure bent down, and Nate saw the figure from earlier, some man with broken teeth and a scar across his face. He grabbed Nate's collar, and pulled him up, winding back his arms to stab him.

Then the knife disappeared from the man's hand, and he howled in pain as it was stabbed into his back. He fell over, and Seth stood behind him, panting. Seth allowed the man to slink over on the ground, and he fell to his knees next to Nate, wiping sweat from his brow.

"Good job, Kid," said Nate.

"Thanks," said Seth, he ran his fingers through his short-cut hair.

"You… where did you go?" asked Nate.

"What?" asked Seth, "Where did YOU go?"

"We went above… the roof," said Nate, pointing through the dust the way they had came, "and you?"

"Oh," said Seth, "I… I was inside, I went through the buildings, you know?"

"Oh," said Nate, laying his head down in exhaustion.

"Now that I think about it, the roofs seemed like a better idea," said Seth.

Nate shook his head, "Naw… it didn't work out as well as you thought."

"How's the kids?" asked Seth.

"The Brits? They're ok… I think," said Nate, and he moved over, poking each one. They both stirred and moaned, and Nate shrugged his shoulders, "They're fine. Hey… you lost your hat."

"It's ok," said Seth, "I don't need it as much as you do. Freak…"

Seth stood up in time for the dust to clear. Shatner and the rest were walking towards them.

"Oh, you're OK!" said Andy, "What was that?"

"That is SO AWSOME!" said Charles, holding his hands in the air, "That was like an ACTION MOVIE! We were running, and then we were like, WOAH!"

"I… I…" said Shatner, he knelt on the ground, staring at the city, "All I did was break a window of a car!"

Nate looked at him, and saw that Shatner actually thought he had started this. Nate was going to explain, but the he looked out and followed Shatner's eyes.

The entire city was falling like dominos. Buildings crashing, smoke and dust rising, and as far as the eye could see, buildings were falling down. This brought a smile to Nate's face, and he began to chuckle.

"Nice," said Nate, patting SHatner on the back, "You destroyed your first city. How does it feel?"

"There were people there…" murmured Shatner.

"They SHOT at me," yelled Andy, "I hope a bath-tube falls and kills every one of 'em!"

"I… I…" stammered Shatner.

"Ah, knock it off," said Nate, "You get used to it."

"Is this how you feel?" asked Shatner, a disgusted look on his face.

Nate nodded, then shook his head, then nodded again, "Yeah, pretty much. It gets better, though."

Iawn began to shrug, and he looked around, gawking at everyone.

"I'm… alive," he said, then he looked at Nate, "You saved me!"

"Yeah, you're welcome," said Nate, "Now… next time I say-"

"You SAVED me," said Iawn, "I… I am ALIVE! I'm alive, and you saved ME!"

Nate got to his feet, brushing the dust off his hat, "Calm down, dude."

"I am in your debt FOREVER!" said Iawn, jumping up, "I realized today life is so PRECIOUS! And… I no longer am very mighty, I mean… OH!"

"Dude, calm down," said Nate, taking a step back; but even that could not save him from a surprise hug from Iawn.

"I will never be a nuisance AGAIN!" said Iawn, "I want to… change my ENTIRE outlook on LIFE!"

"Oh… my God," said SHatner, "I do not believe this is happening. I mean… how… retarded is this."

"You guys," said Iawn, a tear coming to his eyes, "Are, like… my best friends EVER!"

"Thanks, Iawn," said Andy, "That means a lot to me."

"You're our best friend TOO," said Leo and Charles together.

"My GAWD!" yelled Nate, "This is ridiculous!"

"Does anyone care about me?" asked Kevin, joining the group, "I fell… into a TRASHCAN! I smell like radioactive garbage… I lost a bottle of 1976… I… I.."

"I'm glad you're alive, dude," said Nate, "Now you know how I feel. It sucks, don't it?"

"Ok, listen," said Shatner, "We don't have the maps, and I am done with cities. Let's just… keep going and look for a map on the roads. No more towns or cities."

"Agreed," said most of the group at various times.

Nate laid his head down again, and smiled, "Breaking a window… hahaha… a whole city… full of FREAKS!"

Shatner shot him and angry look, but his anger at Nate right then was not so great as to keep him from falling over, preparing for a little nap after all the days excitement.


	21. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"I think I should change my name," said Iawn, cautiously stepping over some wrecked part of road.

"I would too," said Leo, "If my name was Gertrude Yeilm, I'd want to DIE!"

"No, I mean… the Mighty Iawn was really just a tyrant, a dictator, a power hungry leader," said Iawn, "I was thinking… maybe I should do something Flint would like more of, you know?"

"Oh my GOD," yelled Nate, "I swear, kid, you keep going on about this stuff I'm going to… I'm… I'm going to knock you out, and burry you with nothing and LEAVE you for the ants!"

It had been an entire day. Walking aimlessly through the badland. Not even the roads had survived out here, and Fred began to wonder about nuclear fallout and radiation. Iawn was acting strange ever since their ordeal, and he was getting on everyone's nerves more then usual.

"Really," said Iawn, "I mean, what does 'Iawn' even mean, anyway? I was thinking... maybe I should have something more permanent. Like… 'Harmony'."

Kevin coughed, choking on some spit or booze or something that was in his mouth. Everyone else stopped, slowly turning towards him.

"I don't think 'Harmony' really constitutes as a name," said Shatner.

"Good lord," said Charles, "What HAPPENED?"

"You can't be serious," said Nate, "All I did was drag you ALONG!"

"Ok, ok, maybe 'Harmony' was a bad idea," said Iawn.

"Sounds like a bloody Whore's name," said Leo, "What are you, a dancer?"

"Ok, ok… what about… 'Lyra'?" asked Iawn.

That exploded the group, and through moans and painful yelps they continued forward, walking aimlessly.

"What?" asked Iawn, trying to keep up.

"There is NO way after all this time we're calling you anything but Iawn," said Nate.

"I didn't know you picked up a girlfriend back there," said Seth.

"I swear to GOD, Seth," said Nate, getting upset.

"Why don't you just go with 'Gertrude'?" asked Leo, "And does this mean I'm the leader?"

"No," said Shatner, "What did I say about that?"

"Really, I think I need a new name," said Iawn, "I feel I need to redeem myself."

"Look," said Seth, "A name means crap, it's what you do with that name that counts, ok? I came along this tyrant in Oklahoma, named 'Richard the Rapist', anyway, so he's got this rap as being-"

"So, you're from Oklahoma?" asked Charles.

"How did you get to the California colony?" asked Shatner.

"It's a long story, with family and adventure and all that junk," said Seth.

"Well," said Nate, "We have a long way to go."

"Oh? Why?" asked Iawn, running up to Nate, "Are you tired? Are you wary? Can I carry something for you? Can I help?"

"Get away from me," exclaimed Nate, stepping back, "My GOD, kid. You are just trying my patience with everything that you do, don't you?"

"He's even scaring me," said Charles, Leo nodding with him.

"I don't know, I like him," said Andy, "Comedian, make him do a flip, make him bark, Oh! Make him lick your boot."

"Now that's screwed up, Lovecraft," said Nate, "Seriously… that's not right."

"Stop," cried a voice from seemingly nowhere, "ihr seid umziegelt!"

Everyone clumped up, Shatner looking around, Seth bringing up his rifle, Kevin plugging his bottle and slipping it into his pants for hiding. They all looked around. The rocks seemed to be good cover, but otherwise they couldn't see anything.

"I… don't see anybody," said Shatner, "But the little German I know tells me that they are not friendly."

"They? Multiple? Damn!" said Nate, looking around, "What do you suggest."

"Ich sprechen kein Deutsch," yelled Shatner, looking around carefully, "Wir kommen in Stücke!"

"What are you saying?" said Nate, "Good things?"

"Tell them we'll rearrange their face if they don't show themselves," said Seth.

"Tell them 'That's-What-She-Said'," said Leo, "Please, do it!"

"I don't like this violence," said Iawn, "Can't we all just… learn to Love each other like me and Nathaniel have!"

"I swear, Iawn, you say anything even close to that again," said Nate, poiling his rifle at Iawn, "I will… have no issue firing a bullet into your face, and then shooting your crotch until nothing is left."

"That's harsh, dude," said Pandora.

"You're next, Beatle," said Nate.

"Wir sind kein Gegner!" yelled Shatner, then he shrugged.

"Don't sound so pissed," said Fred, "We don't want to sound like we're fighting!"

"It's German, they ARE pissed," said Nate, "Oh, I know, tell them we've come for the body of Hitler! That should scare them, and put them in their place."

A figure jumped up not far away, and fired a burst from a sub machine gun into the air before pointing at the group.

Everyone jumped, but they turned to face the person.

"Drop it, English speakers," spat the figure, a strong feminine voice behind the shielded mask she wore, "You are surrounded and stand no chance!"

Shatner, Kevin, Seth, Pandora, Andy, Leo, and Charles had their rifle leveled at her in no time, while Fred and Iawn stood back, Fred without a gun and Iawn, still in his weird daze.

Shatner's eyes turned to Nate, and his face furrowed, so did everyone else. Nate stood, hands half raised, and he had dropped his rifle. Looking around, Nate saw everyone pointing at the figure, and then he shrugged, picking up his gun and pointing at her too.

"Yeah! Take that! What?" said Nate, "What? That's right. Yippie-Kie-Aye!"

"You embarrass me," said Shatner, turning his attention on the girl, "We mean no harm, we want no trouble."

"Then drop your weapons," said the figure, "And put your hands up… NAOW!"

"What? Hell no," said Nate, "We outnumber you, 10 to One!"

"Ah, but I outnumber you, 5 to one," said the woman, now obviously a woman, "My men scour this land, and they are all trained in on YOU! If you do not surrender, you will all die."

"No, if YOU do not surrender, then we'll all shoot YOU!" said Nate.

"Then you will die," said the woman.

"Then it appears we have reached an impasse," said Shatner, throwing the group into uneasy silence.

They stood uneasily for some time, and they looked at one another. The woman began getting agitated, staring uneasily at each one of them. The others stared her down, unable to read her facial features.

"She's bluffing," said Nate.

"Take that chance, American," said the woman, "But believe me, you don't give up and you will find yourself riddled with bullets!"

Nate looked around, carefully meeting everyone's eyes.

"Umm… how do you know we're American?" asked Nate, throwing a heavy Scottish accent into it, "You 'ave no idea who we are, lass."

"That's actually pretty good," said Leo.

"Oh PLEASE," spat the woman, "Everything about you guys screams American. How you walk, how you breath, how you handle a situation. Please. And I can also tell that teeth on the small ones, there, point them to be English."

"Hey!" yelled Iawn, Charles, and Leo together.

Kevin began to laugh, finding the observation humorous.

"And you," continued the woman, "Your teeth are better, but your being is not American. Therefor, I'd guess that you are from the British Isle, a real Scott or Whale."

"Whale?" asked Kevin, hurt, "Am I… looking a little big?"

"So, lucky guess," said Shatner, "We could be French."

"Oh, please," said the woman, "You're too stupid to be French. Besides, if you were French, you would be heading the other way."

"Ah, she got you there," chuckled Nate, allowing himself to lighten up for a minute.

"Enough talk," she commanded, "I do not have all day."

"Look, you have no IDEA what we've been through," said Shatner, "Now, you listen here. If you are so INSISTANT that we head with you, we will NOT go as prisoners. Understand? I am so sick and tired of this BULL!"

The woman was silent, and no one said anything.

"So… YEAH," yelled Shatner, "We don't mind making a FRIENDLY stop, but we're not going ANYWHERE to be anyone's prisoner again. All we want to do… is just… get… BY!"

Shatner began to pant at his outburst, and he held his head, swaying slightly. Nate reached over, holding his shoulder.

"You ok?" said Nate.

"I don't feel so good," said Shatner.

"Drink this," said Kevin, "It'll make you feel better."

"No, drink this," said Seth, "You might actually be willing to fight her."

"That'll do, Pig," said Pandora, smiling awkwardly, and patting Shatner.

An exasperated sigh came from the woman, and she lowered her weapon, "Definitely American. Alright, look. We can go in peacefully, and my men will not shoot. But they shall stay HIDDEN until we reach the _Festung_. Ya? Any issues und they will fire without mercy. Ya?"

"Deal," said Nate, "But if you make any sly moves, I'll be sure to thank you with a few steel connectors as well. Got that, ma'am?"

"Steel Connectors?" asked Shatner, looking strangely at Nate.

"Deal, but I will watch you carefully," she said, pointing off to their left with her gun.

Nate looked at Shatner and the rest, and they lowered their weapons. The Brits were first, and they began walking. Shatner and Seth never tore their eyes from the woman, and Nate scanned the outskirts and the land looking for movement or anything else.

"Any indication they're out there?" asked Shatner.

"Not one," said Nate, "We're being bamboozled."

"We're coming in peace," said Fred, "Besides, we need that map and some help. They could help us!"

"Fred's got a point," said Shatner.

"We can overtake her and return her to this place alive, that would show we meant business, and we'd have something they wanted," said Nate.

"We should overtake her, now," said Iawn, "And we could rape her, each one having a turn. After her limp body stops giving up a fight, we'll find a camera and take pictures of us doing various things and then we can tie her up, hog style, and leave her for the Bandits!"

Everyone stopped, giving Iawn a really strange look. Iawn shrugged, looking back at the woman with the SMG.

"There's the old Iawn," said Nate, "Welcome back."

Iawn's face turned red, and he shook his head, clearing his throat and saying, "I was… joking… we should definitely just go with her."

"That was a joke?" burst Pandora, "That joke was terrible! Absolutely terrible. But he had a point, why are we following her just to get into more trouble. We've been through enough already!"

"Just stay calm, boy," said Shatner, "Fred's point still stands. We need help and we have no clue where we're going."

"So, it gives her use, therefore we need her," said Nate, "Great…"

"I can HEAR you guys," barked the woman, "I'm shtanding right here!"

"Great," said Nate, "Want a cookie?"

It wasn't long until they rounded a hill, and they saw it. A Large scale city, right here! It had a good sized wall around it, but otherwise the city itself was big enough to scare off any wrong-doer. As they got closer, signs of life were easy to spot, but signs of death were equally easy to spot. The city was built off a lot of scrap metal and stone work. It looked old and menacing, but it was modernized with electricity and satellite dishes.

"This, is Leuchtfeuer," said the Woman, "Watch your step."

As they approached the gate, guards jumped out from behind rocks at every turn, and they screamed and yelled in German. Once again, the group was back to back, those with weapons pointing all around them. The woman was screaming something at the others, almost arguing with them. They spat German back and forth at each other, throwing the group further and further into confusion.

"Well, what's the deal?" said Nate, "There's still time to fire and forget this whole thing."

"She was bluffing," said Kevin.

"Doi," said Nate, "Wanna say anything else Captain Obvious?"

"I only had a YEAR," said Shatner, "They're arguing way too fast for me, and she's using words I never new existed. I don't KNOW!"

"Damn," said Seth, "Well, we can always just-"

"Silence, Americans," said one of the guards, he held an American M16 in his hands, "I do not vish to hear YOU! You are to come vith us, to be queshtioned!"

"Screw you, pal," said Seth, "We're the ones asking the questions around here!"

"Fred doesn't have a gun," said Andy, quietly thumbing his small hunting rifle.

"You VILL obey, or you vill be turned away!" said the guard again.

"T-turned away?" said Shatner, "So we're not captives?"

"Shut up, now," said the Guard again, his English starting to really pain Nate's ears, "Move, follow us."

The guard jumped from the rock he stood on, and landed ahead of the group, right by Iawn. He then turned, motioned to the gate, and walked, the group of guards grouping up around them.

"You lied to us," said Fred to the woman, "You are a very bad lady."

When they got to the gates, the guard who had commanded them hit a small button on an intercom system by the massive door. The door had indents from bullet fire, different sizes for different calibers. Even large indents and burn marks were there from some explosive attacks.

He talked to someone else, now on the intercom system. They almost seemed to argue slightly, before he went back to the first person, and then the discussion ended. The doors began to creak, and they slowly opened, revealing an entire city on the other end.

The city was basically two major streets, from what Nate could tell. They were perpendicular to each other, and in the middle was a giant market place/meeting place with a small park and the town hall buildings. Many side roads wound their way through the rest of the city, creating a maze-like attraction to the place. Some buildings were completely connected over roads, with enclosed bridges and catwalks connecting buildings, but others were like what the group just past through, and broken rope bridges, rickety catwalks, and open bridges connected rooftops and windows of certain buildings as well, which acted as an easy way for the city guards to get around.

Shatner saw that all the town guards wore coats, and the coats had the German colors roughly painted on the side, Red, Black, and Gold. They looked rough, but they treated the citizens with respect, and although they kept a very stern and watchful eye on their captives, they did not beat them or take away their weapons.

"Move," yelled the guard, and he motioned through the gates.

Nate made note of the thickness of the doors, nearly an entire yard and a half thick of steel or some large amount of some strong metal. He walked carefully, making note of the large wall, which was somehow THICKER then the door, and the towers and walkways that spread along the entire city.

"They are definitely more fortified then Paris," said Nate, "They have much more military competence then those animals back in France."

"It's because they're not French," laughed Kevin, who was immediately put at unease by a glare from one of the guards.

Pandora smiled, checking out the crowd that surrounded them. Some kids played games in the streets, other kids and younger teenagers ran around doing chores, or just talking. Old women battered rugs and washed laundry outside their window, and a few of the older men wrote outside their doorsteps, or in the streets, writing down whatever they could.

"Writing?" asked Shatner, "They're all… writing."

"Viting their knowledge owf the past und present," said one of the guards near Shatner, "So ve vill never forget. Hopefully, their knowledge vill ensure our survival for thousands owf generations."

"Uh-huh," said Nate, "Shouldn't they be blogging on the internet with the rest of the survivers?"

"Please, shuduub," said the woman in the back, the one who had 'captured' them, "We're approaching the square."

Sure enough, after heading a little farther it opened up into an obvious square. A very old town church was right at the center, right across from them. The front steps had been built up and out, creating a big platform that was obviously used as some sort of stage. Branching off from it were a series of tables and stalls, even measly blankets. All that could be broken down, began to be broken down once the parade entered the square. They knew exactly what was going on, and both buyers and sellers became bystanders within minutes.

They found a group of people already standing by a pulpit, and one of them wore a large, older army trench coat, and a military cap. The others around him were a variety of garbs, some of those of priests, some of those of royalty or business suits, some even wore ridiculous looking costumes. They all stood, important-looking, behind the man in military dress and they, too, showed no interest in anything but the newcomers.

The precession came to a rest in from of this group, and some of the guards spread out, some even into the crowd. Many guards now formed up on the rooftops, keeping a stern watch on the newcomers.

Shatner didn't blame them. In many ways they were more foolish then at D.C., they still had their guns, and that would've never happened back home. Well… there was that one time… and LOOK where it got them! Shatner shook his head, almost glaring at Nate without him knowing. Once again, in some way, this was all HIS fault. He knew it.

The guard who had done a lot of talking and the woman who had "captured" them walked up the side, standing near the edge of the pulpit area.

"Velcome," said the man in military clothing, "To our home. To _Leuchtfeuer_, our _Leuchtfeuer_. I am Renald Von Steiner, _Oberst_ here, und to what is left owf civil Germany."

"Military?" asked Shatner, "Military Dictatorship?"

"Dictatorship? Unlikely," said Von Steiner, "This is not Facist Germany, American. I may hold a very influential say, I do not wish to be ruler. I have created a council which involves every aspect of our society," He gestured at the group behind him, "The church, business, scholars, the arts, and military. I have done my best to equal as much out as I can."

"We have explained enough," spat the guard from earlier, "We should allow them to explain."

Von Steiner motioned for him to be quiet, then he sighed and held out his hand to the group, "You are the vones needingk explanation, here. Who are you?"

"Should I take this?" asked Nate.

"No," said Shatner, Kevin, Fred, and Charles at the same time.

Nate seemed to wince at this, but he nodded at those who hadn't said anything. Shatner was pushed out, and he looked nervous, looking around.

"We're… we're goose chasers, sir," said Shatner, spitting the words out, "We were… told of the remnants of the United States Government might be in a secret fallout shelter actually located in North Africa. We… have… a little bit of proof but otherwise we're just going off faith."

"Faith," said Von Steiner, rubbing his stubble, "Sounds like stupidity to my old ears. But… it's so strange thaht I believe it. Unfortunately, I cannot speak fow the rest owf the council, nor the vest of the _Leuchtfeuer_."

The crowd began to talk, and some of the guards yelled out in anger.

"This is stupid," yelled the male guard from before, "You cannot believe this!"

"They are a bunch owf Americans wounderingk around Deutschland," said Von Steiner, "There isn't exactly much to suspect, unfortunately."

"Wait," said Pandora, getting an idea, "They have satellite dishes! You're attached to the WWBC!"

"Owf course ve are," said Von Steiner.

"Oh, you can verify our story there," said Shatner, "We're really not lying. We got some people there, some places we've been."

"Alright," said Von Steiner, holding his hand to stop the mass group of people who almost began bursting out with talking, "Ve can do that. Vhat are your users, and we will verify you."

"Shatnerpossum," yelled Shatner quickly.

"Comedianmasta," said Nate, "With an 'A' instead of an 'E,R', you know?"

"Fred," yelled Fred, "89fred, please I just want to get home!"

"Shatnerpossum?" cried out the woman from earlier, now stepping further onto the stage, looking at the group, "Comedian? Wait a minute… that's you?"

"You KNOW us," cried out Nate, falling onto his knees, "THANK you! Do you recognize me? Fan of my writing?"

"Yes, I am, actually," said the woman, now getting angry, "I'm upset you guys don't remember me!"

"Huh?" said the group together.

The woman lifted her full-faced gasmask and long, flowing, dirty blonde hair flowed out of the bun it was on. She had a surprisingly clean face for being in the end-of-the-world. She smiled, slightly, before that smiled cracked into a "hell-LOW" look on her face, and she held her arms out wide, displaying herself.

"How do you guys forget the only crazy, German, Female in our tight little GROUP!" she exclaimed, sending the group into amazement and awe.

"Eon," said Shatner.

"Eonmokri!" exclaimed Kevin.

"Good lord, it's her," said Fred.

"Hello, eon," said Andy, tilting his eyebrows and running his fingers through his hair, "I knew I sensed beauty among this crowd."

Andy received a sharp jab from Nate's elbow, who's only exclamation was, "Hey…"

She put her hands on her hips, and sighed, looking into the air, "Men…"

Von Steiner spat some German at her, and she said some back. There was an outraged yell from the male guard from earlier, who now got into a three way argument with Von Steiner and Eon. The argument lasted quite a while, before the male guard spat on the ground, yelled something completely upset, and he stormed off the stage area, off into the city. Von Steiner nodded and spoke to Eon, before he turned back to the group.

"Excuse us," said Von Steiner, "We hawf decided that Hoffmann will look after you while you are here. She has chosen to… uh… take responsibility for you. Stay, as our guests. This meeting is now… adjourned!"

He said some sentences in German, and the crowd was dismissed.

Eon walked to the edge of the stage, before jumping down, into the crowd, landing directly in front of Shatner, Nate, and the rest. She put her hand on her hips and glared at them.

"Hey," said Nate, "Well… you did offer for me to visit sometime so… maybe this will be-"

A sharp slap across his face shut him up, and he rubbed his burning cheek in surprise. Eon pointed an angry finger at him.

"You… you lied to me," she said, then she turned to Shatner, "YOU, you lied to me."

"Now, Eon," said Shatner.

"You both LIED… you lied to ME," she continued, getting emotional and angry, "Why did you not tell me?"

"I wanted to tell you," said Kevin, "But they MADE me stay silent. I'm technically kidnapped here."

"And you are?" she asked, swiftly.

"Kevin," said Kevin.

Eon gasped, a smile returning to her face, "Fkeauitan!"

"Yes," said Kevin, and Eon rushed forward to hug him, "You got my name right."

"And, Fred," she said, giving Fred a hug, "And this… is… lovecraft? Oooooohhhhh! Pandora, you look so CUTE! Oh… my God, who are THESE THREE!"

Nate rolled his eyes at this change of attitude. Eon bent over so she was at eye level to the three Brits, who immediately began blushing, Charles beginning to flex his tiny muscles.

"I'm Gertrude," said Iawn, "But they all call me Iawn. I'm looking into a name change, though."

"I'm Leonard," said Leo, "But… you know… I can go by many names…"

"And MY name is Charles, like the prince," said Charles, and then he leaned in closer, "But you can call me whatever you like, including 'Storm'."

"Oh, can I now?" she said, faking like she was impressed with them, "Well, I have to say that you three gentlemen are… ADORABLE!"

The three made faces at each other, unsure of what to do. Shatner took this opportunity to step forward, bowing slightly to her.

"I… I am so sorry, really. It was just… we didn't want anybody to worry or anything," he said.

"Oh, Shatner," she continued, giving him a tight hug, "It's ok, I just wished you would have mentioned it. It would of made our hospitality so much more… hospitable, ya?"

"Your English," said Seth, "How is it so good?"

"Oh, besides speaking nothing but English on the WWBC? I studied very little, but that is still more then we study NOW! Most Germans now a day don't care about it, or don't use it. For obvious reasons," Eon said, smiling, "So, how long will you been staying? I can find houses for all of you if you vould like?"

"Oh, not that long," said Nate, "We really are only passing through. As we said earlier, we're just looking for North Africa."

"Uh-huh," said Eon, "Please, vill you follow me? We can talk at my place."

"Bow Chicka Bow Wow," said Leo, laughing.

"No," said Shatner and Nate together, surprising them both.

"Look, we still need supplies, and this is going to be an awesome place to find them," said Shatner, "Look around, don't actually BUY anything but just see who is offering what. We're gonna need essentials to continue, you know."

"Fine," said the others, standing a little straighter.

"We're gonna go talk to Eon, fill her in," said Nate, "Then maybe find out where to go. We'll meet you back here if anything… you know."

"Oh, nothing better 'You know' in MY city," said Eon, getting a little upset again, "Feel free to wander but if you mess anything up, I vill find YOU!"

The others returned to their slight fear of her, before her warm smile returned and she turned and walked down one of the side streets. Nate and Shatner shrugged, following her down the street, Pandora in tow.

She lead them through several back streets, before arriving at a building that seemed dedicated to her. She walked up the small steps and unlocked the door with a key she carried. Nate was looking around, a little disturbed by the looks they were getting, and didn't move until he was ushered in by the gentle touch of Eon. Shatner was eager to get inside, and he wasted no time. Eon shook her head and walked down the steps, almost pulling Pandora away from a half conversation he was trying to have with a pretty German girl who was blushing at his attempts to communicate with her.

Inside, Nate and Shatner stood in awe. It was a nice, cozy little place. Several desks and a couch, bookshelves filled with books, and stacks of books in many places. Hallways and staircases lead to different parts of the house. One thing very dominant was the amount of CATS. Everywhere, there seemed to be a different cat. She had cats on the books, cats in the halls, cats EVERYWHERE. They were surprisingly fat, as well.

"Woah," said Nate, looking around, "Got Cats?"

"Yes, I LOVE my animals," said Eon, picking up a fat one and examining it, then nodding in satisfaction, "I care for my cats with love, but they are only food for my true loves."

"Wait, what?" said Shatner.

"You eat your cats?" said Pandora.

"Oh, no, I cannot eat my animals," said Eon, walking over to a grate in the ground, "but sometimes I care for certain animals who have one purpose in life."

She opened the grate, and all the cats fled. It was like a storm, the creaking of the grate causing every cat in sight to run and hide. The cat in her arms began to try and claw its way away from her, but Eon had a tight grip, and she flung the cat inside.

The cat meowed in fear, but a hiss greater then any Nate had heard overpowered it, and it was cut off in seconds. Nate and Shatner recoiled, and Pandora was too shocked to do anything.

"What?" said Eon, and then she smiled, "You like them? They are my Geckos. I had them since before the war. They've grown SO MUCH! It's hard to feed them with insects anymore."

"Oh… my… Gosh," said Nate, not really saying anything.

"That's… not right," said Shatner.

"How… big… is… it?" asked Pandora.

Eon laughed, as if at a dirty joke, and then smiled, walking into a small kitchen, "Can I get you anything? Please, I love to cook."

"If you got some Mountain Dew, you'd be a goddess," said Nate.

"Mountain What?" asked Eon, and when Nate frowned, she smiled, "Do not worry, I am one of the few who has beer, and I have Coca-Cola. I'll cook up some… steak if you would like?"

"Umm… no thanks, we don't want to take up your food," said Shatner.

"It is no problem at all," said Eon, "Please, make yourself at home Possum, Comedian, Pandora."

"Uh… please," said Nate, "Nathaniel Flint. Nate for short."

"Brom Shatner," smiled Shatner, "But Possum's fine from you."

"Beatle…" said Pandora, then he shook his head, "Uh… I mean, Brain. Brain Bailey."

"Ah," said Eon, "I see. Well, you can call me Kate. My full name is Anne Katherine Von Hoffmann, but mostly I go as Kate Hoffmann."

"Ok," said Pandora and Shatner together.

"Can I do anything else for you?" asked Kate, sniffing a little bit, "Maybe a bath or something?"

"Woah," said Shatner, blushing, "I… I didn't think it would be like THAT."

"Whut?" asked Kate, a puzzled look on her face.

"We don't want to use up your water," said Nate, covering for Shatner, "I mean… we're not heroes… in this colony."

"Oh, no," said Kate, "We have seven rivers close by. We re-routed a lot of them here. One is clean enough for drinking with our purifiers, and the others have so small radiation, that it would take years and years of bathing in it to show any affects. So, we bathe every so often and stay cleaner, and we shave in it."

"Shave?" questioned Nate, now rubbing his stubble again, "You shave?"

"Of course," said Kate, reaching into a drawer and pulling out a razor, handing it to Nate.

Nate smiled, and imitated a choir of angels singing as he rushed down the hallways, looking into every room for a bathroom until he found one.

"Wow, who would have thought shaving was still a priority somewhere," said Shatner, smiling.

"Of course," said Kate, lifting her leg up and pulling back her jeans, rubbing her smooth leg, "How do you think a girl is to survive without a clean shave?"

Shatner's face actually twisted in disgust of Nate now shaving with the same razor she shaved, and Pandora almost giggled at the very same thought. Then Shatner decided it truly wasn't that disgusting, and he realized he needed to show interest in her legs, as to not hurt her feelings.

She smiled at their pleasure, and lowered he leg, "Since I am lucky enough to have the means of sharpening my razor, I'm glad to be able to shave… anywhere I please."

She smiled in a dirty fashion, and Shatner picked up on it. Now he was disgusted in Nate shaving his face with the same razor, and he was glad that Pandora didn't catch it.

"So," said Shatner, eager to change the topic, "How, in the end of the world, did you manage to get a place all to yourself? Do you have a boyfriend? Or… married?"

"Boyfriend? No," said Kate, now beginning to slice up some meat, "Not for a long while. I have my own place for two reasons. One, I am the cities _bibliothekarin_, so to speak. I have more books here then anywhere else, excluding our _bibliothek_… by a bit. I love books, and I owned a considerable amount before the var. The second reason is… no one can really stand living with me, you know? I don't really see why but I am anal and I vant things done in a certain way… and my animals."

"Uh-huh," said Shatner, "So what were you doing so far out, alone?"

"Oh, I have a love for history," she said, smiling, "And… and I was out searching for historical stuff."

"I see," said Shatner, "Weren't you afraid? Of being harmed or something?"

"Vhat? No," answered Kate, almost laughing as she put the sliced meat into a pan and began to cook, "I am apart of our _Kommiss_, our Army."

"Oh," said Pandora, "I never figured you… like that."

Kate sighed, now seeming a little agitated, "Yeah, I know. It is not easy, I will tell you that. Twelve women in this city can fight, _drei_ are actually apart of our defense system. The other two… they are whores. They love being the only women because everyone vants to f*** them. I am one of the only who actually gives a damn about zis city."

"Shame," said Shatner, "That's… tough."

"It is tough, no one understands. Being the only woman who vants to be independent and… helpful," said Kate, "I can take care of myself. I do not need anybody else."

"How interesting," said Pandora, "Well… we're glad you're alright, though."

"So, what happened with you?" asked Kate, "I want to hear the WHOLE thing. No stops. Tell me your story."

"It's long," said Shatner.

"I can handle long things," said Kate, who smiled and laughed dirtily to herself.

Shatner tried to laugh along, but he wasn't exactly sure what was so funny. Pandora took a seat on the couch, prompting Shatner to do the same.

"Alright," said Shatner, "So… Flint goes to leave, after the raider attack on Washington DC, and… he won't stop talking about this North Africa thing, right? So…"


	22. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Oh cool," said Leo, pointing one of the side stores, "What are those?"

"Tattoos," said Fred, then he looked at Leo in surprise, "You don't know what tattoos are? How long have you been alone?"

"Woah," said Leo, as he examined a large man inside squirm as a picture of some giant, ferocious rat was being sketched into his back.

"I wonder how they are doing it," said Fred, "Back home, we had a crew who did this, but they were expensive because they still used ink and the like."

"Hello!" said Iawn, waving at some of the German kids down the street, "I am not an American! I'm English, we're better by far. How are you?"

"Iawn, they don't speak English," said Fred, "Speaking slower doesn't help."

There was yelling around them, and some guards grasping ahold of there guns ran past them. Fred looked on nervously.

"Hey," said Kevin, running back, "They let me use a terminal. I got word out to my colony, told them what happened."

"Oh, well that's nice," said Fred, half-heartedly.

One very large guard approached another at a small, café-like eating area. Fred recognized the second as the 'head guard' from earlier, the one that got angry and stormed off. They were talking, angrily, back and forth, until the 'head guard' got up, and followed him away, taking the safety off his rifle.

Fred and Kevin watched the whole thing strangely, and the Germans began to look strangely at them now, and they backed away from them.

"What's… happening?" asked Fred, a chill going down his back.

"They're looking at us…" asked Leo, looking around.

"Oh, Father, Lord," said Kevin, "Whatever happens, please… don't send me to the same place the rest of them go."

"Whatever is happening, it isn't good for us," said Fred, "Come on, we need to find the others."

Charles was the first to run up to Seth, something drawn over his face and he held some flowers.

"Seth! Seth, something's happening," he said as he approached.

"What is that?" asked Seth, making a face of disgust at his face, then pointing to the flowers, "The hell is THAT, man? Get that stuff out of here, you're cramping my style.

"They're from the locals," said Charles, "They like us more then you Yanks. Just… don't mention football, ok? It's ruddy sour on both end."

"Uh-huh," said Seth, staring off into the distance.

"What?" asked Charles, trying to follow his eyes.

"That German Girl, over there. She's been trying to muscle me out for five mintues," said Seth, not indicating any certain girl in any direction, "I've been ignoring her to see what she does. These Germans have terrible pariffs, and I've been watchin' her for as long as she glared at me."

"Which one?" asked Charles, before he smiled, "You think her name is 'Helga'?"

Some guards ran through the square, heading out in the direction of the gate. Seth now turned, watching them curiously. Something caught his eye, though. A sly movement on the rooftops. When he looked, he noticed he didn't see anything. He scanned the skyline, checking it out.

"Something's going on," said Charles, "That's what I was going to say. The guards, they all got the shakes."

Andy now ran up, almost out of breath.

"Seth, something's wrong," He said, "There's something going on at the gate. The guards are swarming out of everywhere."

"Listen," said Seth, cutting them off.

The buzz of the square filled their ears, some talking and boots running, but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary. Some of the Germans who were closer even quieted down, noticing the Americans listening hard to something they did not know.

Then, almost unexpectedly, a small hum could be heard, building against the buzz. It built up, sounding like a far off storm.

"Rain?" asked Andy, "Maybe a monsoon? Do they get those here?"

"No," said Seth, "And it's not rain. I know that sound anywhere. That's a motor, several of them… lots of them."

They were quieter now, and Seth stood, unleashing the safety on his own gun, and looking around the square. The Germans who were observing them were now anxious, several of them stepping back and exclaiming something in German in fear. Even Charles and Andy stood back, not knowing what Seth was doing.

"There were six guards watching us, just us, here in the square," said Seth, not looking at Charles or Andy, "They were there, on the roofs. Now there are four… where did they go?"

"I… don't know," said Charles.

"Drop your flowers and find your gun," said Seth, "We got issues, let's find Flint and Shatner."

Nate walked out from the bathroom, clean shaven, now truly showing how his mustache has come in. He was smiling, throwing the razor from one hand to the next. He had even gotten the slight unabrow that was beginning to form.

Shatner, Pandora, and Kate all sat around a circle, Shatner and Pandora on a coach and Kate sitting on a wooden chair. They were all laughing, the attention definitely on Shatner.

"And so," said Shatner, almost crying in laughter, "And so now he's just breaking stuff, and getting really pissed. And he just looks at us and says, "This Dew thing, it ain't over'. And me and Pandora, we're just… completely shocked at all this."

"Well, I wasn't," said Pandora, smiling.

"Oh, there you are," said Kate, "I ahm glad to see you didn't come out with tiny squares on your face."

"Ah-ha, so funny," said Nate, sarcastically, "Story telling?"

"He's been catching me up on what I was missing," said Kate, "It sounds incredibly impossible."

"Doesn't it?" said Shatner, "How can so much happen to just one person."

"People," corrected Pandora, "I've been with you guys since the beginning!"

"I'm glad you made it out of that hell-hole alive, though," said Kate, "The _Ruhrgebiet_ is full of crazies and warring idiots. The Handzels, the Gretels, and the Witches. You see, they differ based on views, and like children, they decided to fight. The Witches are the worst, though. Like their names suggest, they are _Kannibalen_, eating of human flesh, and they are BAD. And you toppled the city? Let's hope you took most of those weirdoes with it!"

"Well, from what I understand… it's Shatner's fault," said Nate, pointing at him.

"Well, at least this place is nicer," said Shatner, "And we found you. That's a nice change."

"Except that big guy," said Pandora, "Boy was he PISSED!"

"Oh, do not worry about Bruno," said Kate, smiling, "He's a hothead, nothing more. He wants to run this one day, and he is Captain of the Guard to boot. But at long as there's this form of a council, he doesn't have a chance."

"Yeah, smooth," said Nate, taking a seat next to Shatner and Pandora, making Shatner scoot over uncomfortably.

"Well, I think it is because he likes me," continued Kate, "But that pig doesn't have a chance in HELL as long as I breath."

"I hope not," said Shatner.

"So," said Nate, "I'm not sure what we're doing next but… maybe we should think about our next plan of action, yeah? The others might be waiting."

"Oh, I do wish you would have brought them too," said Kate, "The little ones, they are SO CUTE!"

"Yeah, well, if they came in then we'd overstay our welcome," said Shatner, "Nate's right on a few things, we really should be preparing to leave. Trust me, it's only a matter of time before Nate breaks something here as well."

"Hey," said Nate, hurt.

"That's a GREAT idea," said Kate, smiling and standing, "I'll get my things."

"Woah, woah, ha, wait… right there," said Nate, jumping up, "Get your things? For what? You mean maps for us or something?"

"No, my pack and supplies and a gun," said Kate, "I am coming with you!"

"What?" said Nate, almost retaliating in pain, "No, no you are not."

"What?" answered Kate, getting angry, "Says who?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with you, man," said Shatner, "Of course she can come. We could use an extra pair of eyes on the road, and she knows Germany well. We can make it to the coast in no time."

"I vote yes," said Pandora, raising is hand.

"No, no VOTING," said Nate, "She is not…" he stopped, getting closer to Shatner and leaning in, "She is NOT coming. It's not a good idea. She's a GIRL. Do you know what that might do to the group?"

"Oh, come on, Nate," said Shatner, "It would do NOTHING. Unless you like traveling thousands of miles alone with a mass group of men?"

"Oh, screw you," said Nate, shoving Shatner, "I mean… the danger. You know? What if something happens."

"What IF something happens?" said Shatner, "And this coming from you? What about the others? You were fine with the others."

"And look where that got us," said Nate, "Three Brits who we didn't want, Kevin is stuck with us, and now so is Fred, Andy, and that Seth kid. You know, I've been thinking. Maybe this is a good place to dump 'em, you know?"

"Are you insane?" said Shatner, "What has gotten into you?"

"Look… I just… don't feel comfortable continuing this whole… fool's trip and dragging down all these people. What if it's not THERE?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Shatner, "This was your idea. You aren't doubting it now, are you?"

"No, no I'm not, that's not what I am saying," said Nate, "What I am saying is I think our group is getting a little big. And… the risks are going up."

"Look, if she wants to come, she's coming with us," said Shatner, "And that's MY say. We need the guide, and we could use some civil company. Who better then Eon? She's nice, she's funny, she's smart..."

"Look, your say means nothing," said Nate, "Now if you want to pull rank I can-"

The sound of a bolt being pulled back and a round entering a chamber. Nate and Shatner both looked to the direction of the sound, finding Kate holding some sort of an Assault Rifle at them, one of her counters in the back flipped up to reveal an assortment of old pistols and small, single-barreled shotguns. Nate and Shatner looked at each other, then back at Kate.

"I am going with you, so… do either of YOU have anything to say to me about dat?"

Nate and Shatner both shook their heads, careful as to not make jerky movements. A Gunshot rang out, a window behind Nate blowing out. Nate and Shatner both ducked, the Nate rose, pulling his pistol, aiming it at Kate.

"Now, now, let's not do anything stupid, hun," said Nate, "You made your point, no need to start shooting."

"That was not me," said Kate, looking around, a slight bit of surprise in her features and face.

Nate and Shatner looked at each other, confusion on their faces, and Nate listened. He noticed the sound of gunshots outside, almost like a little battle taking place.

"Damnit," said Shatner, "Now why are people shooting at us again!"

"It's not you," started Kate, but more bullets came through the walls and windows.

Nate crouched, Shatner pulling Pandora down with him. Kate dived to the ground as well, landing between Nate and Shatner. Bullets continued to ring out, and Nate sighed.

"Really?" Nate yelled, "We can't rest for five minutes? Five… minutes!"

"We need to get out of here," said Shatner, "What's happening?"

"Stay down, follow me," said Nate, kicking the door open.

Outside, hell had broken loose. Civilians ran around, yelling, screaming for each other, crying over lost ones. The guards seemed to be in a deep fight with… someone else. Nate couldn't tell the difference between friend or foe, or the two fighting factions. Everyone was just, shooting at someone else, there was not a clear distinction of sides or factions.

Nate got up, and quickly skirted down the steps and onto the street, Shatner and the rest right behind him. Kate put her hands to her mouth, and gasped. She looked around at the chaos of her home.

"What's going on!" she asked, almost yelling.

"Come on," yelled Nate, "We need to leave, let's move it."

Nate ran down the street, back the way they had come. Bullets flew past, even some explosions happened. A group of ruff looking people came around the corner, firing at the civilians and yelling in some strange language. Nate shot them, not caring what side they were one.

They ran through the streets until they reached the city square, and they looked around. Many of the stalls had been moved away, and now several rough bunkers had been set up. Although the bunkers had been set up, a battle raged all around them.

Nate's eyes darted from one spot to another, being carefully not to draw attention to themselves.

"Damn Germans," said Nate, "Always fighting somebody. Why are you fighting each other?"

"I… I do not think that this is German on German," said Kate, "I saw a lot of that in my time."

"Look," said Shatner, pointing.

Seth could be seen popping in and out of a building, taking pop shots off at the roofs of the buildings. Nate nodded, patting Shatner on the back.

"Alright, look, we're getting out the way we came. So, you stay here and watch Eon and I'll go collect our fools, yeah?"

"Uh, well… you know it's kinda," started Shatner, but a bullet over Kate's head, she let out a surprised scream, before scowling and lifting up her assault rifle, firing back at her unseen foes.

"You know what, yeah, I'll keep an eye on her," said Shatner, smiling.

Nate nodded, before turning and sprinting through the square. He dodged bullets and people alike, trying his best to just stay alive. He reached the house, and dived inside, almost bowling over Seth in his entrance.

"Watch it, buddy," said Seth, "I would have shot you if it wasn't for that funny hat of yours."

"Thanks," said Nate, standing up and looking around the room.

Nate spotted Seth, standing by the door with a hunting rifle and his usual weapons slung to his side. Kevin was not far off, a shotgun in his hands. Behind him, Fred, Andy, and Charles sat around a table, a scared German family huddled behind them. Nate slightly waved to them, the German family thinking he was waving at them, and they waved back.

"Alright, let's get back to Shatner and Pandora. Come on, get up, and shoot what isn't wearing those guard jackets when we came in. In fact, don't shoot what's not shooting at you. Move-it!"

As Nate and the others began running back, Kate and Pandora began covering them, shooting at enemies shooting at them, or about to fire at them.

"Is Comedian always this stupid?" yelled Kate.

"Oh, don't worry," said Shatner, smiling, "He's become quite a pro at running through warzones. His luck will run out someday, but not this day."

As Shatner finished, the group made it back, Nate gasping for air, Shatner checking everyone over, doing a headcount.

"We… need to… head down… street," gasped Nate.

"Wow," said Kate, "You must be really out of shape, that wasn't that long of a run."

"Shut… up," gasped Nate again, "We… move… NOW!"

With that, they began to head back down the road, and the group tried to keep together for as much as they could. They didn't run into anyone else, but the sounds of war still erupted from all around them. Shatner still counted heads as they ran, getting worried himself.

"What are we missing?" said Shatner, "WHO are we missing? Iawn? Leonard? Where are they? Kevin?"

"I'm here," yelled Kevin, "Oh, and by the way. My father is going to kick your arse if he ever sees you again, Flint."

"Tell him to sue me," said Nate, "And I'll GET HIM ANOTHER BOAT! God…"

The group continued down the road, breaking off a side street and booking it down it.

"We need to get out of here," said Shatner, "So, we should get out the way we came, and book it as fast as we can."

"No, there is another way," said Kate, sprinting ahead to lead the way, "Follow me."

"We're still missing blokes," yelled Charles, "We can't leave yet!"

"They're finally serving their purpose," said Nate, "They'll be fine."

"You're real cold, Comedian," yelled Fred from the back.

"You ever do something you regretted?" asked Nate, "For example, NOT leaving someone somewhere when you had a clear escape?"

Someone jumped out of an alleyway, grabbing Kate and putting his Sub Machine Gun to her head. He began yelling something out, slowly backing up from the group. Nate barely had time to raise his rifle before a gunshot to his right exploded in his ears, and the man fell to the ground, Kate standing there, looking around.

Nate looked to the side, Shatner pulled the bolt on his rifle, making sure to put another round in. He smiled, and turned to Nate, a smirk on his face.

"There," he said, "Now I've fired my gun. You happy?"

"Happy, no," said Nate, "Impressed, a little bit."

"I could have taken him," said Kate, turning and continuing down the road.

"Whatever, lady," said Nate, running.

They were approaching another road, civilians running up a slight hill, gunfire could be heard.

"Hey, that guy… he was not speaking German," yelled Kate from behind her.

"No, I recognized it," said Shatner as they turned the corner, "I think it was-"

He was cut off as they rounded the corner, and they looked face-to-face with a group farther down the street, walking up. They looked like a biker gang, in contrast to the attempted uniforms of the Germans. Nate recognized them straight off, and the one leading recognized him. It was like a light bulb going off, the man's face was an image of surprise before twisting into sheer rage. He raised his finger and pointed in anger.

"Amedicans!" yelled Juan LeVuke, his group stopping to take aim at the group.

"You again," said Nate, trying to bring his rifle up to bear.

The sound of twisting metal and screeching came from above, and one of the large burning satellite dishes began to crash down from above, landing between the two groups. The rubble and fire began to pile up around it, and LeVuke was lost from sight, as well as Flint from his. After the wreckage had fallen, Nate looked it over, completely blocking the road. Nate ran towards it, about to climb it, before Seth and Kevin held him back.

"Damn… FRENCHY!" yelled Nate as he was pulled back, "Let me go, we're ending this. God… DAMNED Frenchy!"

"Let it go, dude," said Seth.

"Come on, this way," said Kate, running up the street.

The group turned and began a startling dash up the street. Yelling and gunfire could still be heard, but mostly Nate's cursing rang in everyone's ears. Soon, a muttering rose up from Fred, which turned into yelling and cursing of his own.

"This… is all your FAULT," he said, pointing at Nate, "I knew this would happen, I KNEW it. Now they are chasing us… NOW they are CHASING us. Oh my GOD!"

"Yeah, no shit," said Nate, "Damn, I should've left you in Paris."

"He destroyed Paris," spat Fred, pulling on Kate's shoulder, "And that's why this gang is here. They're chasing us, HUNTING us."

"He destroyed Paris?" asked Kate, "He is just one man."

"You'd be surprised," said Shatner, "I know I always am."

"Yeah, it was AWSOME," chimed in Charles, "The tower thing, it FELL!"

"Oh, congratulations," said Kate, smiling, "The last time the Germans were in Paris, all we did was take photos by it."

"Hey, Nazi joke," chuckled Shatner, "Awsome."

"It was an accident," said Nate, who was pissed still, "I can't BELIEVE I missed him back there. I could've sworn he died."

"Don't vorry," said Kate, continuing down the street, "We won't let them vin."

"No we will NOT," yelled Nate, "Where is a way around? Can we get through these buildings? I need to GET to him!"

"Leave it, Flint," yelled Shatner, continuing to run, "We have bigger fish to fry."

"I don't," yelled Nate.

"This is all your fault," yelled Fred.

"Can it, Fred," said Seth, "Look out!"

A side door burst open, a group of biker-clad men with rifles ran out, different goods and food cans in their hands. The group raised their weapons towards them, and the bikers stopped, and began yelling and exclaiming in French. Before anyone could do anything, though, gunshots rang out, Nate fired off his rifle at the sound, but the others ducked down, trying to avoid the onslaught. It didn't take long for them to notice that no bullets hit them.

The bikers shook and sputtered blood as their bodies were riddled with bullets. They dropped what they had as they fell to the ground, their bodies now leaking masses of blood. Nate looked around, trying to find who had done the shooting.

On a rooftop stood Von Steiner, on either side of him stood a guard, sub machine guns in hand. Von Steiner held an old German Luger in his hand, a very small SMG, a Scorpion, in his other hand, pointed towards the sky. He yelled something in German, one which Kate responded back.

Kate turned to the rest of the group, "Alright, we're good. They are Germans."

"Let's move, my American counterparts," said Von Seiner, "Ve are set up in diss direction. Come, now. Hurry."

The group looked at each other, nodded, and then followed Kate further down the street. On the rooftops above, Von Steiner and his guards raced ahead, towards an unknown point.

"So, what's happening?" asked Pandora, continuing to run.

"Our failsafe," said Kate, "We're viping the city. We're establishing control, and pushing our enemies back."

"Sounds good," said Nate.

They turned another corner, and came fast to face with an entire machine gun position. Four guards sat their, their guns trained on the group as they came to a halt. Nate raised his gun, unsure if they would fire or not. Kate's hands were raised in an instant, and began yelling in German at the guards. They didn't shoot, so Shatner and Nate hoped that this was a good sign, for now.


	23. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

The guards had lowered their weapons, so to speak, and allowed the group to pass through. Kate seemed frustrated as she passed them, the others were still being careful as to not upset any of them. On the other side of this small barricade was organized chaos. Many of the civilians in the town were here, looking for loved ones and trying to get out of the way of the military. The guards organized squads and leaders and they began to disperse, back into the city. Kate smiled, pointing into the crowd.

"Look, Possum, Comedian," she said.

She was pointing at Leo and Iawn, who were painting their face Red, Black, and Gold like some of the guards were and they were grasping their rifles, preparing to join some of the guards. Nate crossed his arms, walking up to them and tapping their shoulders.

"FLINT!" they both exclaimed, then they looked past him, noticing the others, "Shatner! Oh! CHARLES!"

They ran, embracing Charles. Nate rolled his eyes, putting his attention back at the two.

"Where have you two been?" asked Nate

"We've been looking for you," said Iawn, "We were… kind of worried."

"We thought you were still in the city," said Leo, "I planned to suit up and go back, looking for you."

"Well, we were looking for you," said Shatner, "So there's no need for any of that anymore. Now that we're all here, let's concentrate on sticking together."

"_Oberst_ Von Steiner," exclaimed Kate, running towards Von Steiner, who was approaching them.

Nate and Shatner both turned their attention towards the commander now, who's interest was them now.

"We're sorry about all this," said Shatner.

"It's not your fault," said Von Steiner.

"No, it's Flint's," said Kevin, chuckling to himself, "These Frenchmen are pissed that he blew up their tower."

"Their tower?" questioned Von Steiner, then when he said it over in his head, he smiled, shaking Flint's hand, "_Glückwünsche_, _Mann_. How did this happen?"

"Umm… we had a run in with them in Paris," said Nate, "Things happened…"

"Vell, _Glückwünsche_. They hawf proven that they deserved it," Von Steiner said, smiling, then he turned to the others, the group as a whole, "In other news, we now have big, frying fish."

"Umm… Bigger fish to fry?" asked Andy.

"Ya, ve must now clear the _Leuchtfeuer _of the Französisch," said Von Steiner.

"Alright, we'd be willing to help out," said Seth.

"I agree," said Nate, "Let's see what really happens when a frog jumps into a pot of boiling water!"

"Please," said Von Steiner, "Do not inzult our strength. Ve can hahndle an attack, especially a French one. The only reason they made it inside the vall is pure underestimation on our part."

"We really feel bad about this," said Nate.

"No vorries, _Bekannte_," said Von Steiner, grasping Nate's shoulder, "You hawf a mission as well. I vill not sleep at night knowingk that I kept you one second from your objective."

"What?" said Shatner, "But, after all we've done, we must-"

"You must press on," said Von Steiner, "If these rumors are true, then the return owf an organized Government, even an American one, could mean hope for our world. Even if it takes years, an American government uniting its colonies vould mean more aid and stability to the other members owf the WWBC. This is a chance owf a lifetime."

Shatner and Nate looked at each other, and then at the group. Von Steiner took this time to tip his hat in farewell, and he headed off towards another group of guards, speaking to them in sharp German.

The group looked at one another, nodding, and they looked to Kate, who was smiling.

"Alright then," said Nate, "Kate, you know an alternate route out of here?"

"Of course I do," said Kate, smiling, "We can head out of this back way. I can lead us to the coast from there."

"Now, what did I say," said Nate, "You're showing us the door, then you're coming back here and helping your people."

"Flint," spat Shatner, "What is your problem?"

"I told you, she is NOT coming along," said Nate.

"Why not have a vote, ya?" asked Kate, she turned to the group, "I am coming vith you, any questions?"

"Yeah!" exclaimed the three Brits.

"I vote yes," said Kevin, "And she knows how to handle a gun."

"I could be a moron and sya it's bad luck to bring a woman on a journey," said Seth, "But then again, a lot of guys were faggots back then, and used luck as an excuse. I vote 'Yes'."

"Come on, guys," said Nate.

"Someone who can keep Nathan Flint in check?" said Fred, "Oh, I am IN! She can come."

"Why wasn't she with us to begin with?" asked Andy, slicking his hair back and smiling awkwardly at Kate, "I vote yes, in fact, I demand she comes. If she doesn't, then I stay here."

"In that case, I just might change my vote," said Seth, "I was kind of hoping he died in the plane crash and ever since then I…"

"Shut up, you jerk," shouted Andy.

"Alright, so it's settled," said Shatner, smugly smiling at Nate, "I, Brom, vote 'Yes' as well. She's coming with us."

"Americans," mumbled Kate, "Their stupid voting… Demokratie. Alright, so We can go now?"

"Yeah," said Nate, defeated, "Let's just go. We're wasting time."

Kate smiled, then nodded towards the large city wall down the street. Even at the wall, houses and stores and the like surrounded the area, built almost right into the wall itself. Most of these shops were military/defense oriented, and homes of guards and personnel, but there were some civilian homes here as well.

Kate headed down the street, then lead the group down a street that probably stretched the entire perimeter of the city. She paid a few coins and a couple of old ear rings to a man for a couple full canteens and three magazines of ammunition for her rifle before she lead the group onward, looking for something in the wall.

Suddenly she found it. A small alleyway between two box-houses that lead into the wall, and to a very thick wooden door. She ran up to it, unlocking it and pushing it open. Shatner was first out, followed by Fred and Kevin. Soon, the entire group poured outside the giant wall, and began walking up a small path of some sort out away from the city.

Kate slammed this heavy door behind them, before rushing ahead of everyone and lead them onward. They walked for quite some time, slowly the sounds of battle leaving their ears. Kate turned back, once, and stared longingly at the city. But she was quick to turn back and lead onwards, the others following close behind. They rested only once, sitting in a circle to decide their next move.

"We should go south and head straight through Italy," suggested Nate, "They should have ships and boats and the like, I wouldn't worry about that."

"I would not trust any of the Italians," said Kate, "Besides, the Colony I know of on the WWBC is doing poorly, who knows what desperation could make them do."

"Then we enter the Mediterranean through Greece, then?" asked Shatner.

"Wait, wait," said Fred, breathing heavier, "I know a few guys from the Greek Isles Colonies. That place is… weird."

"We won't HIT the colonies," said Nate, "All we need is one of those boats."

"Two," chimed in Kevin.

Nate rolled his eyes, "Two, two of those boats. That's all we need."

"Alright then," said Kate, "I know where we can find a few of these maps. I think we can do this."

"Shouldn't be too hard," said Andy, "And now that we have those guys chasing us, we can be more motivated to run!"

"Do NOT think like that," said Nate, raising his voice, "The German people will destroy the majority of them and the rest who stand will be unable to follow us. Enough said."

"Can we not argue?" asked Pandora, "We need to run, let's put some distance between us."

"This way," said Kate.

They continued their trek, but it was at a slower pace then what was set before. Soon, their fears were behind them, and they walked across the wasteland.

They walked, for what felt like days. Onward, being led by Kate, who at least acted like she knew where they were going. After a while, the anticipation of an attack wore off, and the battle they fled from was left far behind them. Almost a sense of normalcy came over them… almost.

"Hey, hey," rapped Iawn and Leo, who beat-boxed together, "My name is Iawn and I'm trying not to die, as we travel with our team, not lead by any guy. I used to be the leader but now we have someone great. We're being lead by our new Aunty, and her German name is KATE!"

"Yeah," said Leo, in between beat boxes, "Yeah, yeah."

"I preferred the singing, I think," said Shatner.

"Yo, my name is Leonard, and I won't go easy, because I've survived this trip so far, on the ship I got, QUESY! I can't wait for Africa, and I hope the food is better. But I disagree with Iawn, I am still the LEADER!"

"Hey," said Iawn, crossing his arms, "No you aren't, you never were, you bloody twit!"

"Ok, fighting I can deal with," said Shatner, smiling, "No bad rhyming with that."

"Yo, you brits think you're smart, but the truth is much worse," said Andy, jumping between Iawn and Leo, "If the Frenchmen had his way, we'd be home in a hearse. So even though you're not black, and you're still frickin' English, we need to stick together and chase after this wish!"

Now even Kevin and Seth picked up the beat boxing, smiling to one another. Shatner covered his face, frowning on the inside.

"Yeah, now it's time for Nate, and it might be true," chimed in Nate, "That without me no one would know what to do. I came up with where to go, and I started this ball, and if I left Fred back in Paris he'd be nailed to a wall!"

Fred glared at Nate, but he continued with the beat, even beginning to dance a little bit.

"Yeah, now we all be rappin', having a really good time but we have to remember where we are and why we still rhyme. Yeah, traveling across Europe, may seem like a lot of fun. But watch your step, brothah, Radiation burns worse then the sun!"

"Ok," said Shatner, "My name is Brom, and all of you I have lead, but if I hear any more racket I will shoot you all DEAD!"

Shatner allowed his eyes to lower, glaring at the group. The rap beats stopped, and everyone crossed their arms, a little upset by his outburst.

"Why can't you guys take this a little serious, huh?" asked Shatner, "After all we've been through… you think you guys would be a little more… solemn."

"Maybe it's a good thing they are staying lose," said Kate, "They need to keep their spirits up."

"Yeah, maybe," said Nate, "You know, I've been thinking…"

"Stop, right there," said Shatner, "I… don't think I really want to hear it."

"I'm thirsty," said Nate, raising his eyebrows, "I was thinking… maybe we take a few seconds and refill our canteens?"

Shatner lifted his canteen, feeling how little, warm water was left. He looked around, everyone else doing the same. He nodded, and turned to Kate.

"What do you think? Anyplace around here we can go to?" asked Shatner.

"Many places," said Kate, "If we keep moving, I can find vater in no time. Many of these town wells will probably still be in use."

She lead them farther on until they found a road. Following the road, they approached a fork in it. Kate stared at the signs, and didn't say anything for an entire minute.

"What is it?" asked Pandora, finally, "What's wrong?"

"Two towns… both equal distance," said Kate, "I remember strange stories about both towns. I don't know which to chose."

"What kind of stories," asked Fred, "Scary stories?"

"Stories of missing travelers, abandoned towns, fully stocked fridges, cryptic messages," said Kate, "And most of all… deadly Sirens."

"Sirens?" asked Seth, "Like… air raid sirens? Or Police sirens?"

"Sirens," said Kate, "Mythical women of pure beauty."

"Oh, they used to sing to the sailors… sing them into their dooms, right?" answered Kevin.

"Very good," smiled Kate, "But their effects were mostly on men alone. I'm sure most of it is just stories… but it worries me slightly. These towns are known by two new names: _Sinneslust_ und _Fresserei_. One town full of curiosity and lust; and the other town, over indulgence and a craving for more."

"So, which is which?" asked Nate.

"I don't know," said Kate, "These signs, they are labeled awkwardly, and they look like they have been moved and removed and replaced over and over."

"Alright, then," said Shatner, "Make a guess, we trust you."

Kate shook her head, then she pointed in one direction, "I'm guessing this is _Sinneslust_. So… we should head this way, towards _Fresserei_."

"Sounds good," said Seth, "Let's go."

"Wait, wait a minute," said Kevin, "What if it's a trap. We can't all go walking into the same place. We should split up."

"Good point," said Shatner, "How far away are the two towns?"

"Not far, they are practically one large town," said Kate, "But a giant wall separates them, you see, these towns used to be-"

"No time for a history lesson," said Nate, "If we're going to split up, we should chose it."

"Alright, I'll go to _Sinneslust_," said Kate, "If that's where the Sirens are, I vill be able to combat their affects."

"Then I'm going with you," said Nate, "I'm itching for a fight, and I'm unaffected by any woman's charms."

"No, Nate," said Shatner, stepping out, "We need someone… uh… smart and strong to lead the majority to get food and the like. I think that I should go with Kate. You know, being the… uhh… more tactical of the two."

Nate seemed to think for a little bit, before nodding and smiling, "Good point, alright, so. Team One is Mine, Team Two is Shatner's and Kate's. Who's coming with who?"

Nate stood by one road, and Shatner and Kate stood at the other. Shatner smiled at his trick, Nate took the bait like a charm. In no time, Leo and Charles ran forward, falling on their knees at Kate's side and holding on, one to each leg. She awkwardly shifted her weight as to not fall over, before smiling at the reaction and patting their heads.

"We'll go with Aunty Kate!" said Leo, "We don't want to be deafened by Sirens!"

"Aw… my little boys," cooed Kate, "I won't let anything happen to you."

"I chose Shatner," said Fred, "I refuse to be involved in anything that will happen!" Fred walked over and stood beside Shatner, crossing his arms.

"Fine, I didn't want you anyway, pretty boy," said Nate, crossing his own arms.

"Seth, get over here," said Shatner, "We need to be careful, I want a real fighter over here."

"Hey," said Nate, "It's my turn!"

"Sorry, Nate," said Seth, "I'm itching for a fight as well. I've been through enough of these legendary 'Pits-of-Doom' to write a book across the States. I think I'll be fine."

Nate crossed his arms once more, shaking his head, "Fine, I guess I'll just go ALONE!"

"No, What about me?" asked Iawn, walking next to Nate, "You saved my life, I am in debt to you, Sir."

Nate sighed, before looking down at Iawn, "You should really go with your two friends. Splitting you three up is bad luck in and of itself."

Iawn frowned, before running over and getting to his own knees, grabbing both of Kate's legs and hugging, Kate holding his head to make sure it didn't hit any awkward place.

"I never got this kind of attention from children before," she smiled, so happy in the moment.

"I don't think we should all bunch up like this," said Kevin, sounding awkward, "What if it's a trap. We're all practically bunching up! I'm going with Flint."

"Thank you, Kevin, it means a lot," said Nate.

Then, stood Pandora and Andy. They both looked at each other, then looked at the two groups.

"Ok, I chose that group," said Andy, pointing towards Shatner's and Kate's, "I need to stay with my boys, after all. Sorry, Flint."

Nate shook his head, and looked at Pandora.

"Why is all of this on ME now?" asked Pandora.

"Oh, don't fuss about it," said Nate, "Just go with the rest of them. Strength in numbers. Kevin and I will go and secure this other town. You two head off and fight your Mythical Monsters and have FUN! When you're done playing around, you can come meet me and Kevin over at the fun town, where we'll be partying and eating and having tons of FUN!"

Nate began to walk down the first road, Kevin waving and running after them. Shatner waved back, and then he turned and began to walk down the other road.

"Come on, the faster we do this the faster we get home. Let's put these legends to rest."

"And let's hope that they'll be alright," said Kate, "I am beginning to think I should have went with them, to thicken their numbers."

"Hey, me too," said Iawn, bouncing around Kate.

"Me too!" said Leo, "If you go with them, can we come too?"

"Me three, Aunty Kate," said Charles, "I don't want to go fight the sirens."

"We can't go back now," said Shatner, "We need her to combat the Sirens if this whole legend turns out to be true!"

"It won't be," said Seth, "Now let's get there and get out. If this whole thing turns out to be nothing, I'm going to feel real bad if something happens to those two."


	24. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Shatner pressed against one of the large rocks on the side of the small road, pointing his hunting rifle down the street, sweeping the town. It was like every other town they had gone through, it appeared desolate and empty, the houses under kept and signs of looting and Mother Nature all over the streets. The sun was beginning to set, and it cast eerie shadows around the town.

Seth was next, approaching the rock stealthily as he surveyed the land.

"Now, listen, I don't exactly think that this is all a good idea," said Seth, "We still don't know if any of this is real."

"And we're not taking any chances," said Shatner, "There's no call to be careless. Every rumor or fairy-tale is based off a small shred of truth. So, SOMETHING is going on in these two towns and we need to find out what it is."

"No we don't," said Seth.

Kate walked right past them, her rifle up, aiming at the town as she slowly entered cautiously. Shatner tried to stop her, but Seth smiled and followed her right in. Shatner motioned to the others to stay where they were, and he followed them inside. The town now seemed even more eerie as they entered, silent.

Usually the joking, singing, rapping, fighting, or just talking of the group would now fill the town, and they would march through, looking through the ruins with eager eyes. Now, it was an eerie silence, and for the first time Shatner felt a small amount of fear grip him.

They walked slowly, scanning the town with sweeps from their weapons. They couldn't see anything, anywhere. Seth let out a small whistling tune every now and again, but Shatner did not pay much attention to it. Everything was quiet.

They made it to the center of town, and they slowly scanned the area, carefully looking around.

"I don't know what we're looking for," said Shatner.

"Legendarily?" asked Seth, "We're looking for a woman of unspeakable beauty who will captivate our minds and lock us in her power forever. Maybe she's a fairy or a ghost or spirit or something."

"Don't look in a mirror, Kate," said Shatner, smiling.

Kate coked her head and gave a very un-amused look. Seth and Shatner smiled, both nodding at each other at the truth behind the statement. Kate rolled her eyes at these antics, but she allowed an amused smile at the thought of a creature getting the two men as they joked about her.

A mailbox tipped over, sending a loud clatter right through the town. The three of them jumped, and quickly turned to the sound, their guns pointed right at the source of the sound.

Andy through up his hands, cringing away from the sights of their weapons. Shatner and Seth sighed, shaking their heads.

"Andy, what ARE you doing?" asked Seth.

"I was going to help," said Andy, "I don't want to be left behind!"

"You weren't going to be left behind," said Shatner, "You were with the rest of the group!"

"Uh… not exactly," said Andy.

Movement inside a house to the side of them makes Shatner and Kate swing their weapons around, pointing directly at a smiling Leo walking out of the house.

"This isn't so bad," said Leo, "I thought there was supposed to be, like, a Madonna Monster or something."

"A what?" asked Shatner, his face twisting in confusion.

"Medusa, you idiot," said Fred, coming out next to Andy, and Iawn and Charles exploring the house with Leo.

Shatner rolled his eyes, upset at the turn of events, "What's the point of us telling you to stay behind if you're ALL going to come down anyway?"

"We don't want to miss out on a fight," said Andy, walking towards the group.

"And your excuse?" asked Shatner.

"I… can't be left up there alone," said Fred.

"He wasn't alone, I was going to stay with him," said Pandora, making Shatner jump as he appeared almost out of thin air next to him.

"Well, one person listens," said Shatner.

"I am not surprised," said Kate.

"Don't worry, we won't let anything happen to you," said Iawn, smiling.

Shatner sighed, and put his face in his hand. Iawn and Leo headed off back into another house, and Charles swung on a lamp light. Shatner looked around, shaking his head.

"Now we've walked right into a possible trap, great fellas," said Seth, "So, while you were all sneaking around, did anyone find some devilish women?"

"No," yelled Iawn, running from the house he had entered, "But we found some medical supplies!"

"Medical supplies?" questioned Shatner, and Kate and him ran into the house. Iawn held some band-aids and pills in his hands, and they ran past him, further into the house.

They saw Leo, head stuck in an open refridgerator. The room was filled with three fridges, stocked with water and food and drink. The cabinents were opened, medical supplies and canned goods filled it completely. Shatner and Kate looked around, Kate smiling.

"Now, we can have water," said Kate, and she seemed to glow, "And look at all this food and cooking equipment."

"We could live here for days," said Leo, smiling, "And There was a lot of clean beds in the other house we were in."

"Clean beds?" questioned Shatner, and he looked around, "Food? Medicine? Oh No…"

Shatner ran outside, seeing the group scattered where they had left them, some of them ducking into houses and homes.

"Look around," said Shatner, yelling, "Tell me what you find! Quickly!"

The group dispersed, running into houses and down streets and looking around. It didn't take long for people to return.

"Food, tons of Food!" yelled Andy, from one house.

"I found running water, there's showers and a generator and everything back here," said Pandora, "Looks like someone has been around recently, too, for upkeep."

"Hey, tons of Alcohol!" cheered Seth from a house not down the street, "And it's really good stuff, too!"

Shatner clapped his hands on his head, and spun in a circle, looking around. Now he noticed it, a cryptic message, written on walls and on signs. It was on the steps he stood on, and in the houses he looked into. When he took a further step back, he saw it written even on the streets. He called for Kate, who ran out in a matter of seconds.

"Is it in German?" asked Shatner, pointing to the messages.

"Yes, it reads," started Kate, then she gasped, holding her hands to her mouth, "It reads, 'We can supply and care for you all. There's a lot more where all this came from. Take what you like and go, but know that you will never be safe unless with us. We're only… a town away'."

Shatner held his forehead in his palm again, and kicked a small metal can as hard as he could.

"I should have known," he spat, "_Fresserei. _We went to the other town! We're not in the right one."

"What? What do you mean?" asked Kate, "I don't understand."

"The food, the medicine," said Shatner, "We're in _Fresserei_! The other one! Which means…"

"Which means we sent Comedian and Kevin to…" said Seth, as he slowly turned, surveying the sky.

An explosion erupted, Shatner and the rest of the group turned, quickly, to it. A cloud of smoke made its way into the sky, and Shatner wasted no time running after it. Pretty soon, the entire group was following, guns ready, as they ran down the street, leaving the town and heading towards the puff of smoke.

They began heading up a steep hill directly outside the town, and quickly, the slowed down, trying their best to keep up.

"Wow," gasped Fred, keeping up, "Who said they were two towns right on top of each other? 'Practically separated by a wall' or some crap?"

"Shut up, Fred," said Shatner, "Keep running, we need… to get to them."

Kate pulled ahead of the pack, suddenly, and they all got to the top of the hill together, and began running on the top. Two figures walked in the distance, and they quickly raised their weapons at the group.

Shatner almost raised his weapon as well, but he soon recognized Nate's fedora on one of the figures, and soon recognized Nate and Kevin from the group. They caught up to each other, and both groups stopped. Nate and Kevin looked at each other, then back at the group. No one spoke for a while.

"Hey," said Nate, nodding towards the group.

"Are you ok?" exclaimed Shatner.

"What happened?" asked Kate, right after.

Nate paused for a second, before shrugging, "Nothin'… what happened to you?"

"What?" exclaimed Shatner again, "What do you mean, 'Nothin''? What happened?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Nate.

"What?" said Shatner, "What about your clothes. And… and Kevin's clothes. And what about that explosion!"

"Uh…" said Nate, looking at Kevin, before shrugging, "What explosion? I didn't see any explosion."

"You didn't see any explosion?" said Shatner, completely unconvinced.

"What happened to your gun, Kevin?" asked Seth, "Didn't you have a… shotgun?"

At closer inspection, Kevin now had some sort of sub machine gun, and he looked down on it, and back up at the group.

"Uh…" said Kevin, looking at Nate.

"That," said Nate, before he forced out a fake laugh, "He's always had that. Where've you guys been?"

"What do you take us for?" asked Andy.

Nate shrugged, Kevin just nodding, mumbling "Yes" under his breathe.

Shatner sighed, and rubbed his forehead again.

"You know what? I don't care!" said Shatner.

"Good, because we should really go," said Nate, "Wasting daylight, we need to find a place to rest."

"Yeah, ok, whatever," said Kate, walking away, "You guy are vierd."

The group began walking back towards the other town, Nate turning to Kevin, tapping his shoulder.

"Not a word… not a single word," said Nate.

"Yeah, I think that's best," said Kevin, now walking towards the group, "Let's try and forget this… forever."

They rested in a small town somewhere miles away. It was quite dark now, and the majority of the team, including Nathan and Kevin, seemed jumpy, and on high alert. Shatner finally allowed them to hold up in one of the better conditioned houses and they prepared to pack for the night. The fireplace was still intact, so Shatner started a fire as everyone unloaded their burdened supplies on the ground and prepared to rest for the night.

"I don't care what anybody says," said Seth, wiping sweat from his brow, "All this extra food and medicine, it was totally worth the weight. Tonight, we eat like Kings!"

"I wonder what all that food was doing there," said Shatner, giving a weary eye to Nate.

"Maybe a stash for some gang or force, I don't know," said Nate, "Maybe we just got lucky, really, really lucky."

"Yeah… right," said Shatner.

The group had finally given up on trying to understand what had happened to Nate and Kevin, and they were adamant on playing stupid, and not answering anything. The group finally began to settle down. Fred came back from checking the house for a fifth time, and he was smiling.

"What's up with you?" said Kevin, taking out another whisky bottle and taking a sip of it with a smile.

"This is truly an amazing find," said Fred, "In the next room, I found a mattress that wasn't so severely bad. I dragged it over here and set up a nice bed. I think that we just might not have to sleep on the ground tonight."

"Wait, a single mattress?" said Seth, standing and opening the door to the next room.

On the ground lay a single, twin sized mattress, with a single, slightly stained white sheet draped over it. Seth scoffed at this, before walking back, leaving the room open.

"It's a single sized," said Seth, "There's no way you'll fit anybody on that unless they want to get real friendly. I'm out."

"Then, I want the mattress," said Andy, "I want it."

"Dibs," said Nate, "International dibs law."

"Screw off, Flint," said Fred, "I found it, maybe I should get to sleep on it, hmm?"

"I don't know about you boys," said Kate, standing up and stretching, "But I might want to sleep on a mattress tonight?"

No one in the room objected, and Fred just nodded his head, stepping aside and holding his hands out as if showing the path. Kate gave a warm smile, and curtsied as if she wore a dress or a skirt.

"I'll share it with you," said Andy.

"Oh, no way," she said, smiling and grabbing her back and rifle, "There's only three guys I'd share a bed with. Hey, boys," she said, leaning towards the three Brits who huddled around the fireplace, "Would you like to sleep with me tonight?"

The three Brits looked at each other, each blushing a bright red, before they turned and shook their heads.

"No thanks, Aunty," mumbled Charles.

"Sleep with a girl? Yuck!" said Iawn, even though his face showed otherwise.

"Sleeping with Iawn and Charles? No thank you," said Leo, which earned him a punch or two from the other two.

Kate shrugged, as if in a "There You Go" statement, and she walked into the next room, putting her things down next to the mattress. She looked over her should and smiled, and bent over, straightening the covers on the mattress without bending her knees.

In the next room, Seth and Kevin leaned backwards to get a better view, Fred's mouth slowly began to drop open as he stared, and even Shatner leaned forward a bit in an old lounge chair he had found by the fireplace. Nate took a look himself, before noticing the looks of the people around him.

"Ugh," he said, rolling his eyes, and he stood up took some stew from a pot near the fireplace.

Kate walked back to the door, and smiled at the guys, who sheepishly waved back. She took off an old coat she had worn, and pretended to think about something.

"You know, I think we should do a watch, throughout the night," she said, "To keep us safe."

"Yeah, of course," said Shatner, clearing his throat afterwards, "Of course we do… should… watch, I mean."

"Why didn't we think of that?" whispered Andy.

"We never had a watch before," said Leo, "That kind of stuff is for camps and bases."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," said Kate, shaking her head at the men, "Well, I think I'll take the last one. Gives me an opportunity to only undress and redress once in the night."

"Undress?" questioned Andy and Seth together.

"Why, of course," smiled Kate, "That's why I need to shut the door. I sleep … _nackt_."

She winked at the group, and closed the door. The group seemed to breathe in all together, and Nate rolled his eyes.

"I think I speak German now," said Kevin, "I think I know what that means…"

"See? This is why we didn't need her!" spat Nate, crossing his arms.

"What do you mean?" asked Shatner, shaking out of his daze, "She's been quite helpful so far, I do believe."

"You do believe, so she's walked with us and read some signs," said Nate, who put up his finger, "Wrong, at one point if you do so forgot!"

"If I do so what?" said Shatner, "And it wasn't wrong, it was a trick for the foolish. We bought it."

"I didn't buy anything," said Nate, "And now what? What if we leave Germany, huh? What then? She's here just to be… a distraction!"

Nate pushed over a bag, which knocked both the dazed Kevin and Seth over and knocked them out of their trance as they began looking around and unpacking, trying to make up for their daze.

"Dibs on whatever watch is before the last," said Andy, turning, still dazed, at Nate, "I want to wake her up, please."

"Oh! You…" said Nate, who smiled and pointed at Andy, "See what I mean, Brom? This is insane."

Pandora stumbled in, slightly tired from the days ordeal, and he took a seat down next to his stuff, and began rummaging through his pack.

"I found a bathroom that works," said Pandora, "But it's only one, and it's in the next house over."

Seth and Kevin got up and walked out of the front door, out into the night.

"It's the other way," said Pandora, calling out after them.

"We're men, pansy boy," called Seth from behind him, "We use the bushes!"

"Besides, we're heading out to find a funnel," said Kevin, "You know how much booze I'm lugging? It needs to be lighter!"

"Then take first watch," yelled Nate, after them, "And no DRINKING! A hangover will make the trek tomorrow hell! You… bastards…"

Nate sat on a stool next to the soup, and put his hand in his palm.

"This is just… great," said Nate, "How do we get stuck with these people?"

"I know, just supposed to be you and me, right?" said Shatner.

"Hello, and me," said Pandora, raising his hand, "I've been here from the beginning, too."

"What did you do before the war, Kiddo?" Nate asked Fred, who jumped from his spot perched next to the door to the next room while he peeked through the cracks.

"Well, uhh… nothing," said Fred, "I was in and out of school… my parents were well off. I didn't really need to work or anything."

"Ah, pampered," said Nate, rolling his eyes, "Explains a lot."

"Hey, I've worked for my manhood," said Fred, "After the bombs fell, we were the first real 'Colony' you could say. We band together, we built what was destroyed, we began making electricity and a military and what not. After the war, we were one of the first to enter the WWBC. And you know who helped? I did, my family!"

"Uh-huh," said Nate.

"What did you do, exactly, back in the Colony?" asked Shatner.

"Well… I worked on a farm," said Fred, rubbing his shoulders, "And I was about to be apart of the 'Expedition Force'. I got taken off the ground team because I got engaged, so they put me in aerial. They never really went far…"

"Expedition Force, what is that?" asked Nate.

"You never really did pay much attention," said Shatner, smiling, "Then again, your colony was never really big enough or cared enough for the WWBC to notice. A lot of the well-off colonies came up with the idea of the 'Expedition Force'. Basically, each colony had a team of young, battle-ready, persons who would go out and travel, purposefully looking for others, or mapping roadways and passages, or finding hostile forces like Raiders and Bandits out in the wastelands."

"Or doing research on the after-affects of the bombing," said Fred, "Depending on where you were."

"So, you stole one of these Expeditionary Planes to come bail us out, didn't you," said Nate, "Looking for fame and fortune in the discovery of an actual US base, or the remnants of our Government."

"So to speak, yes," said Fred, "Such a trip by an Expeditionary Force would prove ground-breaking huge. Not to mention, if we could find a way for people to work together."

"Many people fear travel, now-a-days," said Shatner, "For obvious dangers like time and distance and dangers. And, as we've experienced a little bit, the way a colony is, or individuals are, on the network may be completely different in real life. Not many people pay attention to things like that, and if you try and connect two 'friendly' colonies in the real world the result might be dangerous."

"As we've seen," said Nate, "Even though the Frenchies were never in the WWBC."

"There are a lot of Dictatorships and Slave-Oriented colonies on the WWBC," said Fred, "A lot of rivalries already made. We stay together because of distance and what we need. A lot of people are willing to look the other way in order to get the information they need to survive."

Nate nodded, rubbing his chin, "So… now what? What we're doing?"

"What we're doing is going to get out," said Shatner, "Now especially since we've brought a mini war to an entire Colony and stole a boat from another."

"I will pay back the damn boat, DAMN," said Nate, "You just won't let that go…"


	25. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"So then this guy, right, he says he can totally outrun me through the course, right," said Iawn, continuing a very exciting story about his time back in their colony, "And he wants to stake it on who gets to decide where we get our water from!"

"He could've totally taken him, too," chimed Leo, "If Iawn didn't cheat!"

"Cheat? I did no such thing," spat Iawn, right back.

"Why didn't you get the water from both areas again?" asked Pandora.

"Because it was out of a John, that's why," said Iawn, "Mine was at least out of a bloody fire hydrant!"

"Yours required breaking the hydrant, you nuttah," spat Leo, "At least his was closer AND could be reused. Anyway, we ended up having to flood an entire street because of this idiot."

"Idiot? It's because of me we got drinking water AND a pool all in the same day."

"You used it as a pool?" asked Kevin, "That's just… not right."

"Yeah, but we learned very fast not to pee in the pool," said Charles, "Poor William… he was banished after that."

"Urine is the least of your problems, in my opinion," said Nate, "When we found you, you three were dirtier then sewage rats."

"Still are…" said Fred, holding his gear closer now.

They had been traveling for several days, and Kate was quickly loosing her usefulness. They were close to something… close to a border. Signs were gone, war ravaged the land they walked. Everywhere, remnants of the war could be seen. From military bunkers, holding lines, bomb craters and mass graves to entire refugee camps, filled with graves and full hospitals… not a single living soul to be seen.

Shatner made a very smart call to avoid everything they could, both to avoid camps and the like and to avoid the younger members of the group from setting eyes on the horrific aftermath of the war. Fred had agreed, but no one else even acknowledged his statement, nobody wanting to talk about it very much.

They walked on, no maps, no road signs… no roads. The group keeping each other safe, watching each others back, laughing at each others jokes and retaliating at each others criticisms.

"It was a fair fight, I say," said Iawn, finally, pushing Leo aside, "And I says that I won! I'm the winner, and I said it was a FAIR race."

"And I watched it," said Leo, "And I say you're really full of-"

"Ship?" said Kevin, cutting Leo off.

"What?" asked Iawn and Leo together.

"A ship?" asked Kevin, pointing in the distance.

A ship's mass could be seen in the distance, a tattered sail flapping in the light wind. Kevin's eyes lit up, and he ran after it as fast as he could.

"It's a SHIP!" exclaimed Kevin, running after it, "A ship means water, water means the sea. We've MADE it!"

Leo, Iawn, and Charles were quick to run after him, making a race out of it, but Nate, Shatner, Kate, and the rest looked at each other in question.

"A boat?" asked Nate, "Out here?"

"We're no where near a coastline," said Kate, "What the hell…"

"Oh, NO!" yelled Kevin, reaching a point clearly out of the others view.

"Let's go see what's up," said Nate, running ahead.

They approached the scene, coming up and over, now seeing why they could not see the rest of the ship. Kevin knelt on the edge of some sort of a large crevice. A long crack in the earth spread from one horizon to the next, rocks, debris, and objects littering its inside. Nate and Shatner just stood in awe, looking it over. The "Ship" in question was an old sailboat, now stuck on the rocks, and heavily damaged from time and some bullet holes.

"It appears to be an old river," said Shatner, "Wow… look how deep it is."

"If it's a river, where's all the water?" asked Andy.

"You can't even see the bottom from here," said Pandora, kicking in a rock from the side.

"Whatever it is, we're going to need to cross it," said Nate, "Our heading is THAT way."

"So what do you suggest?" said Seth, snorting, "Unless anyone here knows how to fly."

"Hmm… Well, technically," started Nate.

"Technically nothing," said Shatner, "You're not flying anything anymore!"

"Hmph," said Nate, furrowing his brow, "No one died in MY crash…"

"Hey," said Fred, standing not far off from the group, "It's a river, guys."

"We already established that," said Nate.

"That means, there's a bridge," said Fred, smiling and pointing off in the distance, "And I've found one!"

The group's heads turned to spot what Fred was pointing at, and Nate smiled, walking up to Fred and clapping his hand on his shoulder.

"Good work, dude," smiled Nate, "Very… insightful of you."

"Uh… thanks?" answered Fred, almost in a question.

They stood on one side of the bridge, looking it over with weary eyes. The bridge was of stone, but the supports underneath had long ago either burned off or rotted away. Moss and vines seemed to be the only thing holding the stones together as they hung over the dried out riverbed. Even from here, Nate could barely see the bottom, and he shook his head at the thought of crossing this.

"Nice pick, dude," said Nate, "A piece of paper over a fiery pit of doom, huh?"

"What? What paper? There's no fire," said Kate.

Nate gave her a sarcastic look, nodding once in response, "Yeah," he said, "I know."

"Well, it could be days off the trail if we go either way," said Nate, "And I don't want to waste anymore time… at all."

"I'm not crossing that," said Fred.

"Why not? It was your idea," said Pandora.

"I found it, doesn't mean I said 'Hey, let's cross it'," answered Fred.

"You kinda did," said Kevin, scratching his head, "I'm pretty sure-"

"We need a volunteer," said Seth.

"Why doesn't Nate Flint go," said Fred, "He wants to be our fearless leader, so why doesn't he lead us to the promise land?"

Nate scratched his chin, thinking it over.

"Ok, I think this whole 'leader' thing is getting old," said Shatner, "We're obviously all friends-"

"Friends? More like friends of necessity," said Fred, "Allies, I would say."

"I'll go," said Nate.

"No, no you won't," said Shatner, "Now, we obviously can't cross here so we will need to find another way."

"No, I'll do it," said Nate, already taking a step forward, "Seriously, if it crashes-"

"You die," said Shatner, "I will not allow it. Come on, now. We've got a long way to go."

"You will not allow it," said Nate, crossing his arms.

Shatner read Nate's body language, and his eyes rolled and he sighed, knowing what was coming.

"Come on," said Shatner, "Don't do this…"

"Do what?" said Nate, "What, eh Shatner? You my mother, now?"

"No, I'm not, but think clearly," said Shatner, "Obviously getting across a damn bridge is not worth your life."

"And who decides that?" said Nate.

"Come on," said Kate, sighing, "This isn't worth fighting about, he's right, Nate. We'll find another-"

"Oh, what, you taking his side now?" said Nate.

"No, there is no side!" said Kate.

"What… he your boyfriend now?" said Nate.

"What… what do you mean by that?" said Shatner, blushing.

"NO! I'm just saying-"

"What? Why don't you two go and invade Poland together, huh?" said Nate.

"Wow, was that a Nazi joke?" asked Kevin.

"Come on, that's ridiculous," said Kate, "You're really over reacting on-"

"You don't think I'll do it?" said Nate, walking out onto the bridge.

"Oh, come on," said Shatner, "This isn't funny."

"Am I laughing?" said Nate, walking further onto the bridge, "Oh, look at me, mommy, no hands!"

"Your name IS 'Comedianmasta'," said Andy, smiling at his joke.

"Let him kill himself," said Fred, "Serves him right."

"Shut your face, Abromcrombe," said Nate, "I don't see YOU out here."

"Come back here, this is ridiculous," said Kate, "Don't be such a child!"

Nate made it onto the center of the bridge, and he stood there, his hands outstretched to the side as if asking a question. He smiled, stomping on the bridge. Everyone made anxious noises or gasps as he did, and this fed his anger.

"See? Nothing, the faster we cross it the faster we can go," said Nate, "It's about… three yards long."

"Who taught you to measure," said Fred, "That's like six yards."

"We don't use metrics," said Leo, rolling his eyes.

"It's FINE," said Nate, beginning to jump, now, up and down, causing some people to lean forward, even saying "No" hidden by gasps.

"See?" said Nate, smiling, "Come on, let's stop wasting time."

"Alright, fine," said Kate, "You made your point."

"No matter how stupid it was," said Shatner.

Nate nodded, ceasing his jumping. Kate was first on the bridge, awkwardly walking forward. Nate wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead, smiling at what he had done. He waved in a "follow me" fashion and turned to walk the rest of the way over the bridge.

Nate's foot came down, and sank into the bridge. His whole leg followed, and he fell forward, into the hole. He let out a yelp of surprise, causing everyone to freeze in their place, watching carefully. Nate's hand went up.

"I'm ok," he said, beginning to get up, "Just popped through a little hole here and-"

Crush! His other leg went through as well when he put weight on it, and Nate cringed, now his entire weight resting on his crotch. Kate ran forward to help, and Nate could feel the bridge moving underneath him.

"Oh… NO!" he yelled out, throwing his hands out to stop her, but he was too late.

Their combined weight made the bridge began to shake, and pieces of it began to shed off. She fell through, too in seconds, and she struggle to get back up to the bridge. Nate fell completely through, and he reached out and held onto something. Like a melting snow, the bridge began to collapse, showing the old metal supports and beams originally made to support the stone and mortor. The crumbling stopped roughly a quarter way of the bridge on either side, leaving Kate and Nate dangling from the metal supports.

Shatner rushed forward, leaning on the edge of the bridge, but it took Seth and Kevin all they could to hold the others back, so they wouldn't rush forward too. Shatner held out his hand, wanting to help Kate back onto the bridge. Kate swung her legs, holding onto the metal outline like a pro. She look at Nate, and held out her hand as if to offer him support.

The metal support in which Nate grabbed was too thin for his weight, and it snapped, beginning to bend a little farther down from where he was. Nate looked back, a little bit of fear in his eyes.

"Oh God," said Nate, "I know I deserve it, but why now? Why? Wait… why not now? That sounds like a good idea."

"Come on, reach out and grab my hand," yelled Kate, reaching out her hand.

"Don't bother with him, Kate," yelled Fred from the 'shore', "This is what he deserves for playing around like that."

"The dick's right," said Nate, looking at the bar as it slowly bent, the bending part turning white under the strain of Nate's weight, "Oh…. No!"

"Come on!" yelled Shatner, "Come back here, then we'll help Nate. Hold on, Flint!"

"Come on," said Kate, "This doesn't have to be the end!"

"Oh… but it is," said Nate, the bar now beginning to creek under his weight, "Look… since I'm about to die anyway… I could use a distraction right now?"

"What sort of distraction?" asked Kate.

"Quick, before it breaks," said Nate, "Show me your boobs!"

"What?" said Kate, before she snorted, "You pig! Why didn't I know."

"Come on, I'm about to die anyway," said Nate, "I don't really want to die a virgin, but I lost there."

"Do it yelled," Kevin, "Please."

"He is dying, after all," said Iawn, "You wouldn't want to send him off disappointed."

"You are all… such… MEN," yelled Kate from her perch, "I am NOT doing such a thing!"

"Come on, you practically did it a couple nights ago anyway," said Nate.

"I was DRUNK," said Kate, "but not drunk enough."

"Note to self…" said Seth, not really under his breath.

"I can't believe how selfish you're being," said Nate, "I mean, after all we've done for you, taking you on and all, technically, you know, you owe-"

A harsh SNAP filled the air and Nathan dropped like a stone. Kate and Shatner both yelled, and everyone else was speechless as they ran to the edge, watching his figure disappear into the ravine. All that was left was his hat, hanging on one of the old rusty metal parts sticking out of the old bridge. Everyone went silent, and not a sound, even of Nate hitting the ground, could be heard.

"Flint," yelled Shatner, breaking the silence, "FLINT! Are you there? Flint!"

Only silence came from the darkness, and awe filled the air.

"Comedian?" asked Kate, from her spot hanging over the abyss.

"Do you see him?" asked Pandora.

Kate looked into the ravine. She couldn't really see the bottom, especially in the dark shadows of the morning sun. Just the rocks and the debris could be seen. She closed her eyes, almost at the same time as Charles letting out a small sniff as a tear began to fall down his cheek.

"Whoa," was all Seth said, as they stood there and looked over an empty crevasse.

Pandora bent over, plucky the hat from its spot on the bridge, and held it, looking past it into the depths. He said nothing as the last, a very scared Fred was helped across the bridge by Kate and Shatner, and the group now rested safely on the other side.

Fred leapt from the spot on the wires onto the hard bridge, and fast crawled his way to dirt, yelling in triumph. Shatner and Kate looked at each other, before looking back down to the deapths below.

"He's gone," said Pandora, softly, "I can't believe he's really gone."

"I know," said Shatner, almost to no one in particular, "I never thought, out of all the things we'd been through, that THIS would be how he died."

Iawn sniffed again, trying to hold back his tears from another attack, but he was unable to hold them back as both Leo and Charles group hugged him again and began to sob.

Seth snorted, plucking an almost dead flower from the ground and walking towards the edge.

"This is what happens when you play around with destiny," said Seth, "This kind of thing happens every day. We just need to… move on in our own ways."

Seth threw the dying flower down into the chasm, watching it as it disappears below.

"So… how are we going to get down there?" asked Pandora.

"What do you mean? Get down there?" asked Fred, "We're not going down there!"

"The whole reason we risked this crossing was to save time," said Seth, "And time has already been ticking as we stood around moping. If we take time to retrieve his body, it would only be a harder burden on us as well as wasting all the time we just saved, as well as putting the rest of us in danger."

"Unfortunately he is right," said Kevin, "Even though it's wrong."

"It's wrong, but it's necessary," said Seth, "It's what happens out here, in the land of waste. We didn't cry or mope when our friends were killed in that plane crash. It happens."

"He has a point," said Fred, "We can all mourn the ones we've lost another day, but now we must continue onward!"

"We must move on," said Shatner, in a much more demanding way then he had before.

Shatner turned, walking off the small bit of bridge and walking past the group of people, "He would've wanted us to. Go onward, find the base, save the world. It was his style."

"We're just going to leave him?" asked Pandora, tears filling his eyes.

"He saved my life!" said Iawn, "How can we leave him?"

"We're not LEAVING him," said Shatner, almost seeming to get angry, his outburst making the others jump, "He will always be with us. But he has died for NOTHING if we stop now. He died for nothing if someone else dies trying to retrieve his body. He would have died for nothing if we waste even a single SECOND of time that we could be using to walk. Is this not true?"

No one spoke up, no one refuted him. He was right…

"Now come on," said Shatner, "We'll all… move on together."

The group began to move, or at least stand up from where they had been.

"Good bye, ol' chap," said Leo.

"I r-r-r-refuse," said Iawn, as he fell into more spouts of sobbing.

Charles said nothing through his tears, and together all three of them helped each other move on. Kevin approached the side of the chasm, and he poured the rest of the contents from a newly opened bottle down into the chasm.

Seth took out something from the bottom of his bag, an old hand grenade. He smiled, before tossing it down into the chasm as well.

"Nate would've found a better use for it anyway," said Seth, "He always did like a big bang."

As they began to leave, Kate sniffed back her own tear, and wrapped her arms around the shoulders of Andy, and turned him away, following the moving group. Fred turned as well, but not before giving his own final good-bye.

Then stood Shatner and Pandora, overlooking the side of the place.

"I can't believe we can't even see him," said Pandora.

"It's probably better," said Shatner.

"We started this together," said Pandora, "It just… doesn't feel right, you know?"

"We're ending it together," said Shatner, "I promise you that. For now, we need to leave him… but we'll be back."

It was another few moments, but Shatner spun Pandora around, and began to walk after the rest of the slowly moving group. Pandora flipped Nate's Fedora in his hands, before placing it firmly on the top of his head, tipping the brim down to partially cover his tear-ridden eyes.

They continued to walk, into the horizon. The mood somber, the noise-level silent, no jokes told or no music sung. For the first time in a while, it was silent, and there wasn't a single person who wanted to break that mood.


	26. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Thump Thump, Thump Thump. What was pounding so hard? Nate's eye opened a crack, and he looked around. He felt like he'd been in a dryer for an hour. Nate tried to move, OH! What they hell, he thought, his entire body was in pain.

His entire bottom half was wet. Blood? Or did he pee himself? Nate tried to move again, popping joints and bones and the like with every movement. He looked around.

His shirt was caught up on a rock, the way his jacket, shirt, and gear were strapped to him, it didn't choke him and hang him, but held him up. His wasted was almost submerged in water, his feet actually touching the river bed below it. There didn't seem to be any current or anything, just the movement of his aching body.

He looked around, only the blue sky was overhead. The giant spiked rock formations seemed to reach right into the sky, as if he was in some sort of forest of stone. On either side of him were large walls stretching up to them. There was a lot of debris around in the water. Dirt floated on the surface, piles of rock and stone were built up here and there.

Nate struggled, now to get away from his containment. He couldn't get off the great pillar of rock he was stuck on, and he let out a scream of frustration.

"Help," he yelled, "I'm down here! I'm down here!"

He couldn't hear anyone returning the call, and he could not help but struggle against the rock which seemed to hold him in place. He tugged, and continued to yell out in pain as his body revolted every movement.

There was a snap, and rock rained down on Nate's head as he fell forward, splashing into the water below. Nate now struggled to get up, the weight of his pack and clothes beginning to weigh him down under the water. Nate got his head up and gasped for air, but his eyes widened and he recognized an entire pillar of rock and debris, the very one he was just on, began to come crashing down. Nate tried to swim and crawl his way away as giant rock pieces slammed all around him, the pillar slamming into another one before hitting the wall, and staying there.

Nate had crawled away, and used another pillar to right himself. He stood, gasping in the wetness he now felt, pulling his hair away from his eyes and looking around again.

"Hot damn," he said.

Nate reached to his side for his rifle, but noticed it wasn't there. He looked around, but he couldn't find it. Then he was thrown into silence, only his breathing grabbing any attention at all.

Then there was a rustle of stone, and Nate looked towards it. He breathed slightly heavier, but he smiled at his jumpiness and was about to laugh it off when he heard a splash, and some movement in the water not far off from his right.

Nate was silent, and he reached into his holster and grabbed his Revolver. He clicked the hammer back, and stood silent once again. The world was silent, and he let out a slight chuckle at his fears. Another swishing of something through water was heard, and Nate stopped his laughter, turning the other way and wading through the water towards the other direction.

Nate scanned the pillars, looking for some way out. He found his heart slowly beating harder and harder.

"Come on, Nate, snap out of it," he said, "You can do this, you're just falling a little bit behind, that's all."

Nate smiled as he passed another pillar, his rifle hung on a stone pillar not far away, it seemed to be in good condition. Nate made his way over to the pillar, and awkwardly tried to shimmy up the side. He finally managed to get up a few feet on the small edges in the rock, and he grabbed hold of his rifle, swinging it off the side and falling, back, into the water. When Nate got back up, he checked the rifle for damaged or waterlog. It seemed to be in working order, and he returned his revolver to the side.

A slight growl seemed to rip right through his body, and Nate backed up, putting his back directly against the very pillar he just climbed. He stared at where he had just came from. A slight ripple of water moved from behind a pillar, and Nate watched carefully at it.

"He-hello?" Nate said, "Come on out, I won't hurt you… if you won't hurt me."

Nate aimed his rifle right at the spot, taking the safety off his gun. Whatever he said to make himself feel better, it was NOT his plan of action, by any means. His finger wrapped around the trigger and squeezed lightly, ready to fire at any moment.

The ripples in the water turned into waves as a large figure moved from behind the pillar. Nate gasped, completely taken by surprise as a large creature stepped out. It was very big and muscular, a large hump on its back. It walked on all fours, and yet its head was completely lifted off the ground. And out of the water. It stood taller then Nate, and he was just shocked at how its muscles rippled and shook under each powerful step it took. It waded through the water, and it sniffed at Nate, its eyes trained onto his.

"Hey there… little doggy," said Nate, "Good boy, nice doggy. You're pretty big, huh? Where've you been hiding out this entire time?"

The dog barred its teeth, and began to growl, crouching down as if ready to pounce. Nate's heart began to race.

"No… no… bad dog," said Nate, retraining his sights on the dogs head, "Bad dog! Down boy, down!"

The dog let out a bark, and leapt forward, its teeth bared and its jaw snapping as it lunged towards Nate's soaking wet body.

The group continued to walk on, but they stopped in the next town to take a break. The sun was now almost directly above them, and yet it felt like an entire week had passed. Shatner lead the search into the town, looking about the area for anyone. All they found was an elderly couple held up in one of the old houses. They both had weapons, and told the group to stay away, but they could have full run of the town as long as they left them alone.

Shatner ordered the group to camp in the middle of the town, and they rested for a little while.

"So, where are we?" said Shatner, "I'm not a fluent German speaker, but I think I know that you had some trouble understanding them."

"They spoke in a Slavic tone, it's not German," said Kate, "We've already exited Germany probably."

"What happened?" said Andy, "Someone rip down all the borders while the world slowly crashed and burned?"

"So to speak, yeah," said Shatner, "This isn't the world we know and love anymore. So, I think we should re-start the search for a map of some sort so we may begin making our way south."

"I think that couple knows this area quite well," said Seth.

"They want nothing to do with us, and they don't speak English," said Shatner.

"I barely can understand them," said Kate, "And Shatner is right, we should leave them alone."

"We should be breaking down those doors and interrogating them," said Seth, "We're walking aimlessly heading in one direction, nothing about this is a good idea."

"We're not becoming monsters for no reason," said Shatner, "Now everybody calm down, ok? We'll work this out."

"Yeah, we'll see," said Kevin, crossing his arms.

"Look, we'll find a way to get out of here, ok?" said Shatner, "We've come this far, we're all going to make it back, alive."

"Yeah, I've heard that one before," said Seth, crossing his arms as well.

Shatner shook his head, but an exclamation from Iawn turned their attention away from the argument.

"Look," said Iawn, "I found a peanut!"

Iawn smiled at his accomplishment, and the others just sighed, shaking their heads.

Nate couldn't seem to run fast enough, and he kept tripping as he tried to wade faster and faster through the water. The growling and howling of the wounded creature chasing him fed his adrenaline and he was constantly checking behind him.

Lucky for Nate, the wolf chasing him was still a wolf, and the water swished and swashed Nate's sent over every rock and every wall as the creature tried to get a fix on its prey. Nate, on the other hand, was much, MUCH slower then the creature, and a few close calls meant that his time was running out.

Nate waded behind another rock, and stopped, pressing himself against it and closing his eyes. He heard the wolf, trotting through the water and sniffing, barking and growling like a deranged beast. Nate peeked out, and spotted the creature, the bullet hole bleeding at its shoulder. The wound Nate inflicted on him didn't seem to slow him down at all, and so Nate took a deep breath, and leaned out, pointing his rifle at the creature.

The wolf heard the movement, and turned, barring its teeth at Nate, but Nate was already pulling the trigger. Nate took the shot, the bullet slamming right in between the creature's eyes on its snout, and the wolf gave off a wounded shriek. It began to walk forward towards Nate, but it was shaking its head, going a lot slower, starting to stumble. Nate yelled, and began pulling the trigger as fast as he could, shot after shot slamming into the body and head of the creature.

After a few more rounds, the wolf fell over, and crashed into the shallow water, its blood beginning to fill the water. Nate smiled, and laughed, letting out a battle cry and hooting and hollering.

"That's right," said Nate, "Who's the Alpha-Male now, huh? You're just a puppy, baby! Boo-Yeah! Don't come all up in this hizzel and try to mess with me! I am the PANAMA Can-NAL baby! Whoo!"

Nate's cheering stopped short as a growl erupted. Nate took a step back, and his mouth dropped in fear. Back where he had come, two more of the giant wolves appeared, and they seemed to be assessing the situation. Their gazes jumped from their dead pack mate to Nate several times as they inched forward. Nate began to wade backwards, his rifle pointed at them.

"Oh crap," said Nate, "This is very bad, Dude, this is very, very bad."

One of the wolves then gave a light bark, and Nate took off, running. He tried to wade as fast as he could through the water, but he could hear them closing in on him. His heart was beating so incredibly fast. Nate breathed heavily, he could hear them behind him.

Nate heard the snapping of jaws behind him, and he let out a yelp.

"No," Nate yelled, and he turned around, pulling the trigger on his rifle as fast as he could.

His bullets sunk into the face and snout of one of the wolves and it yelped in pain as it crashed into Nate. The force of the great beast pushed Nate over, and he fell back ward into the water. As he rose, he grasped onto a rock half submerged in the water.

The creature was wounded, and tried to awkwardly sulk as it bled from many wounds in its face. Nate looked around, he couldn't see the second one. So he turned and fled, pulling the trigger only to hear a CLANK at the other end. Nate looked, it was a jam. Nate cursed under his breath as he continued to wade through the water.

He rounded another pillar and put his back against it, listening as the wounded wolf's howls were answered by one…two…four…five… he began to lose count. The air erupted in howls from all over. He was surrounded, it appeared. Oh NO, he thought.

He checked his gun again, trying to un-jam it. No, he needed to do it when he had time, this jam was too bad and water logged. Nate cursed again, and he looked at the strange stone he had grabbed while underwater.

It was a grenade! Whoa, what luck, Nate thought. He smiled, let's see them chase me now! Nate looked around now, eager to use this new weapon he had found, then his smile spread from his eyes to his mouth and he literally smiled at his find.

"Yes," said Nate, and he took off from the pillar, strapping his broken rifle to his back next to his pack and grabbing his revolver from its holster.

Not far away, Nate spotted the broken sailboat from earlier, and a broken pillar that had fallen onto it, crushing most of its deck, but creating a wonderful bridge up to the sailboat. Nate ran towards it, quickly treading through the water and listening to the treads of multiple wolves behind him. Nate climbed the broken stone, and began to hurry up the rock onto the ship. Nate turned, just in time to see three of the giant beasts surround the boat from behind, snarling and barking. Nate aimed his revolver at them, and backed up the deck toward the mass of the boat. One of the wolves jumped onto the stone, snarling and barking. Nate took a shot off at it, and wasted no time putting three more into the wolf.

The creature yelped and jumped down, but growled and barked, preparing to attack once more. Three more of the beasts joined the crowd, now surrounding the boat. Nate put his revolver away and quickly climbed the ladder-like stakes on the mast, up, up, and up as fast as he could. The wolves used this against him.

All at once the wolves jumped and were on the deck of the ship, and they surrounded the mass, ravenously jumping and snapping their jaws at Nate's ankles. Nate didn't even bother stopping to look down. He continued to climb as fast as he could, sometimes even closing his eyes as he made his way to the mast. Finally Nate was about three quarters of the way up, and he looked down. More wolves had joined the group, and they all circled below, waiting for Nate.

Nate smiled, and took the pin out of the grenade, dropping it to the ground. The wolves were unsure of whether to avoid the grenade or snap at it, and some tried one way while others did the opposite. One thing was for sure, Nate held on as the grenade exploded below, killing two dogs and injuring the rest of them.

Nate took out his revolver, and began shooting the rest of his shells at the remaining wounded wolves, trying to ward them off. His revolver emptied of shells, and he flipped it open, pouring the empty shells down on the wolves. Then, Nate noticed the mass beginning to creak and sway, and he held on, his eyes widening.

"No," he said, holding on, "This can't be happening, this is NOT cool!"

The mast swayed again, and Nate heard the cracking of wood down below.

"Dear God," yelled Nate, as the mast swung for the last time, falling sideways, "Don't kill me yet, I'm sorry I LIED!"

The mast slammed against the side of the river wall, and Nate held on as his was ripped from his perch, and he now dangled from the mast. The mast held, and he swung himself onto the wall of the riverbank. Holding on for dear life, Nate began to crawl up the wall, until he could comfortably stand on the mast, and lean against the river bank. He breathed heavily, staring at the wolves down below.

"Oh… my…" gasped Nate, but he looked up, and decided not to finish his statement.

He began to grab hold of the rocky ledge, and climb his way out of this cursed river.

Shatner, Kate, Iawn, and Pandora sat around one of the fires, and stared into the flames. Iawn was finishing up the last of his canned chili and Pandora was playing around aimlessly with his canned Green Beans.

"So… you think it hurt?" asked Iawn.

"What?" asked Shatner.

"When he fell… and hit the bottom. You think it hurt?" Iawn asked again.

"Why would you ask that?" asked Pandora.

"Well… I'm sure it didn't hurt at all," said Shatner, "In fact, he might not even be dead. I'm sure he was fine, he did what he always does. He laughed it off, he said something snappy, he looked for his hat, and he's on his way here right now."

"You don't really think that," said Pandora, "If you did, you would have found a way to get down there."

"I'm sure he's fine," said Shatner, "You know… his luck."

"Yeah, I do," said Pandora, "Once he thinks he's ok, something else will happen."

There was silence, as the truth of it all came down on them. They were silent once more, just staring at the flames.

"He always came out ok from before?" asked Kate, "Then he must just be… running late, is all."

They all nodded in agreement, no one saying a word in defense or in attack.


	27. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Nate's hand grasped hold of the edge, and he wasted no time putting his last bit of energy to pull himself up and onto the side of the riverbank. Nate smiled as he crawled a little farther to safety, and he through off his backpack, letting it rest on the ground. He rolled over, and stared at the sky. Nate allowed a smile to spread across his face.

"Yes," Nate yelled, gasping in-between his exclamation, "Yeah, oh yeah! Boo-yeah! Hahaha… Yes, what are you gonna do NOW?"

Nate stood, feeling how light his body was now. He smiled, doing a little dance.

"YES! Haha. Whatcha gonna do, dog? You don't know me. You don't KNOW me!"

A gunshot rang out, and Nate heard a 'thump' of a bullet hitting the dirt not far behind him. Nate dove to the ground, grabbing his pack and crawling behind a rock as more gunshots rang out. Bullets hit all around him, and when he ducked behind the rock, he noticed they slammed into the side of the rock.

When the gunfire stopped, Nate chanced a glance around the side of the rock, cursing as he clutched his rifle.

"What the hell, man!" said Nate, trying to glance at his shooters, "I'm walkin' here!"

On the other side of the gaping riverbed a group of people stood, clad in leather and random rag-tag clothes. They held automatic rifles like the FAMAS and other weapons. Behind them, a fleet of motorcycles sat, parked. Nate closed his eyes and cursed, his blood beginning to boil.

"American," yelled a familiar voice, "Why am I not surprised."

"Hey, frenchy," yelled Nate, peeking around the rock, "Are you following me or what? This is weird."

"Stop," yelled LeVuke, "Calling me fenchy, American. I have a name, and I vould love it if you learned it. I am very eager to learn yours."

"Yeah, well… why do I have a feeling you don't really care?" asked Nate.

"Oh, I do," said LeVuke, "I have not met zuch a challenge since my time with ze Los Banditos from before! That IZ when I changed my name. You have escaped me, slapped my honor in the face, killed my men AND my people, and evaded me out of my own country. You, are definitely a plague on this land."

"Well," said Nate, "You weren't exactly the best host, Frenchy."

"I'm going to chase you, American," said LeVuke, "I'll chase you to your Africa, I'll chase you to China, I'll chase you to America, I'll even chase you to HELL and back! For you and I, we've been at var zince before we met."

"Damn, Frenchy, that's serious stuff," said Nate.

"I'm going to kill you," said LeVuke, "And I'm going to kill your friends. I'm going to make sure that every single one of them feels the burden you have put on zem."

"Leave them alone, dude," yelled Nate, staring at his jammed rifle and letting out an exasperated sigh, "They… they just want hope. They don't deserve this."

"They deserve MORE," yelled LeVuke, "You filthy, pig-dog! I will skin them and hang zem by their appendages back on the ruins of MY tower!"

"This is not about them," said Nate, "Please… they… they think we'll be alright. We're… we're all just looking for hope."

"And I am here to destroy that hope!" said LeVuke.

Nate spotted some items getting thrown into the river, and laughter from many of the French bikers as they items disappeared from sight.

"Au Revoir, my Kitties!" yelled LeVuke.

Down below, several explosions could be heard that shook the very ground Nate sat on. The wood of the boat could be heard splintering and rocks shattering down below. Howling and yelps of pain could be heard below from the wolves, but the gang across the river hooted and hollered as well.

"Listen to zem die, American," yelled LeVuke, "Now you stay there and cry your eyez out. Do what you vish, but we will be coming to get you, and we WILL find you, American."

Nate was silent, almost laughing at the stupidity of LeVuke, but he allowed him to believe what he would.

"You know what, Frenchy?" yelled Nate, "It's ME who isn't done with YOU. You come for me, and you find me, alright? And I guarantee you, I'll be waiting. I'll have a gun, and I'll have a knife, and I'll be waiting for you. And I'll go All-American REJECT on your ass. It's the last Alamo, Frenchy, and I'll show you how it goes. Yippee-Kie-Ay!"

"You do that," said LeVuke, "I said once before. I am the Napoleon of France, and I come to conquer, not to chase down a rat to let it scurry off into the zewers."

Nate began to reload his revolver, smiling.

"I want to kill you, American," yelled LeVuke, smiling, "Oh, and by ze way: Two things wrong wiz your analogy. One: It waz the Mexicans, not Ze French, at the Alamo."

Nate slapped the revolver back into a firing mode and he cocked back the hammer.

"And the second?" yelled Nate.

"Secondly," continued LeVuke, "The Americans lost ze battle of the Alamo."

"Well," said Nate, smiling, "We did give them one hell of a fight."

Then, Nate peeked around the corner and aimed his pistol right at the group, sweeping it for LeVuke.

"Oh, and they were Mexican," yelled Nate, "Not no boot licking, pansy-ass, biker Frenchies!"

Nate gave up looking for LeVuke, and he began to fire into the crowd he saw. The small amount of gunfire set off return fire on a massive scale. Nate ducked behind his rock, before grabbing his backpack and crawling away, trying to keep the rock between the hostile bikers and himself.

"And so we begin," said Nate, smiling as he crawled, "And where the hell is my HAT!"

The tree branch snapped (or crumbled, more like), sending Charles crashing down to the ground. Shatner just ignored it, walking carefully towards the mountain in the distance.

"So, I'm not sure we're actually going south," said Pandora, "In fact, I'm sure we're not."

"No, we're not," said Kate, "I know a place not far… I think, and they might be able to work with us to get us some transportation to the coast."

"How do you know they'll take us?" said Seth, "We going to give them all our newly gotten medicine and food?"

"Well, the thought crossed my mind," said Shatner, "It worked in Wales."

"Not really," said Kevin, "You still stole a boat."

"Borrowed," said Leo, "Borrowed and broke."

"He said he'd replace it," yelled Iawn as he continued jumping from burnt tree to burnt tree.

The forest they now walked through only had a few, very large trees left in the charred wasteland of a forest. They walked an old road that went through the center, but they could barely see it at times through all the ash and dirt that covered the ground.

They had been walking almost a week and a half, no signs of life since the old couple way back at that town. Slowly, Shatner had felt them slipping farther and farther into confusion. He rubbed his aching head, staring up at the sun through the thick, grey clouds above.

"I spy… something grey," said Fred.

"Not fair, everything's grey!" refuted Andy, "This sucks."

"Get's old after the hundredth mile or so," said Charles.

"Or first," mumbled Shatner.

"I think I see something," said Iawn.

"Not how you say it," said Andy.

"We need to see a way out of this deathtrap," said Seth, "All the ash is covering up anything that would be considered eatable."

"We DO have food," said Kevin.

"You should always be prepared to lose that food," said Seth, smiling.

"Hey, I saw movement, a dark figure in the distance!" yelled Iawn suddenly, even pointing.

"Now we're talking!" replied Andy, "Alright, is it a ghost?"

"Dark figure?" mumbled Shatner, raising his head to look in the direction Iawn pointed.

In the distance all he could see were the trees still standing and the piles of dirt and ashes. The ash fell, like giant black leaves. It reminded Shatner of the fall season, before the war, when the leaves would fall off the trees, and sprinkle the world with color and depth.

Shatner stepped away from the group, getting lost in his thoughts as he stared off into the Ghost Forest. Shatner thought of the fall… tried to trail back why he thought this. This… ash falling like leaves. Shatner blinked, this was Fall. This season, was the Fall: the Fall of humanity, the Fall of life, the Fall of their time here. And Winter would fallow… a time of death, a time of cold, a time of burial. Shatner blinked again.

Winter was coming to their world, just as fast as the fastest flutter of ash. Shatner blinked again. He thought of what Winter meant back in D.C. A shortage of blankets. A fight to stay dry, to stay warm. Searching for wood to burn, food to eat, a place to escape being buried in the snow-bank. How hard it was…

Shatner almost blinked again, but something caught his eye. He would have missed it. He woke up, and his eye scanned the forest, darting from place to place. Then he saw it, a dark figure, staying low, jumping from one tree to another.

"I see it too," whispered Shatner, then he woke up, shaking himself into action, "I see the figure. Guys, battle decisions, it's a TRAP!"

Shatner ran to the nearest tree, pressing his back against it and peering off into the forest. The other did the same. Their rifles trained down, into the forest. Seth gave a weary glance at Kevin, who gave an eerie glance back.

They stayed still for a few minutes, Shatner sweeping the forest, looking for that figure.

"Toldja," whispered Iawn to Leo, provoking a retaliatory elbow from Leo.

"I did not see anything," said Kate, "Where are we looking?"

"It was a figure," said Shatner, "Ducking around out there. There might be more of them, this could be an ambush!"

"This is only good to kill us," said Seth, "And I don't think we'd be talking right now if they wanted us dead."

"So we won't fire just yet," said Kevin, "But I don't want to be taken hostage again."

They waited around for a few more minutes, just staring out into the forest. The younger members began to get fidgety, and Seth, Fred, and Kevin began to get skeptic.

"Are you sure you saw a figure?" asked Seth.

"It could have been a piece of ash," nodded Fred.

"I'm bored," said Leo, "And now there isn't even the knowledge that we're making lee-way to keep us going."

"I know what I saw," said Shatner, "I just don't know why… I just."

"We should keep going," said Kate, "But be keeping a close eye on the forest. We should not take any chances."

"I agree," said Fred, standing up and continuing to head down the road, "Let's keep moving, the sooner we're done with this trip the better!"

"I just," started Shatner, but he never finished his statement, he just rose to his feet and walked with the rest of the group down the road once more.

Now tensions were high. Everyone was looking, everyone was searching. Shadows were built out of the ash, thing men and dangerous bikers materialized out of ash and played around with the imaginations of the travelers. Soon, shady men and dangerous bikers materialized to demons and snakes and nightmares, poking from the trees and crawling across the ground towards the group. The wind blowing became the screams of a woman being eaten or a soldier as he rammed his bayonet into the stomach of some horrible beast.

Shatner shook his head; he tried to destroy the images that were forming. He saw the looks on the others faces, their fears as they watches the ash-leaves fall. He needed to appear strong, or stronger, to keep them calm. He needed to make sure everyone was calm.

They walked on several more minutes, very uneasily, into the setting sun. Shatner was beginning to think the shadow earlier was just as real as the goblins and spiders of his fears now, and that it was all just his nerves getting at him.

"I have to go to the Lou," said Chalres, him looking questionably at Kate and the rest.

"I have to jingle as well," said Kevin, "Wait a moment, we'll be right back."

Kevin patted Charles' shoulder and brought him to the edge of the forest. The others sighed as they waited for them to return. They were gone a few minutes, and then the group saw them returning, swiftly, back to the road.

As they past a patch of ash, a hand burst from the pile, grabbing hold of Charles' sleeve and holding on. Charles let out a streak and stepped back, Kevin jumping at this exclamation.

Shatner saw what happened. He raised his gun. Kate let out a yell of "NO!". The others tried to bring their guns to bear as well.

Charles tried to fight the hand, but as he did a figure rose from the ashes, ash going everywhere.

"ZOMBIE!" yelled Charles, "Shoot it!"

"Oh God!" yelled Kevin, jumping back from Charles.

The figure rose, pulling Charles in the way between it and the others. Shatner has to wait to shoot, watching as all the ash that was kicked up in the commotion settled. Shatner's eyes widened as he realized what was going on, and he dropped his rifle down, rolling his eyes.

"What the hell," he mumbled, and the others gasped.

Nathan Flint stood holding Charles as if he was a hostage, his goggles down, his clothes covered in ash and his stuff stuffed behind him. He was smiling, one of his hands in the air, holding his revolver.

"Hey, kiddo," said Nate, "Miss me?"

Charles pushed away, a shocked look on his face. Nate smiled, holding his hands out in a "Ta-Dah" fashion. Charles' eyes widened more, before he took a step forward and kicking Nate square in the balls. Nate hunched over, dropping his revolver and his eyes shut. Charles ran away, hiding behind Kate.

"Shoot him!" yelled Charles, "He's a Zombie!"

"Nate's back from the dead!" said Pandora, "Me and him had a zombie plan, shoot HIM!"

"Wait, stop it," cried Nate, his voice high pitched as he doubled over, "Zombies can't feel pain…"

"Oh, that's true," said Pandora.

"What the HELL," exclaimed Kate and Shatner together.

"You're alive?" gasped Kevin.

"Of course I'm ALIVE!" yelled Nate, "What do you think I'm doing here?"

"We saw you fall," said Andy.

"We saw you die!" yelled Fred.

"Yeah, well… trust me," said Nate, "There is A LOT you didn't see, and my death isn't one of them."

"What happened," said Shatner.

"Oh… you know…" said Nate, "Stuff… so, why are we standing around?"

Kate walked up to Nate, smiling, "You made it,"

Nate smiled, "Well… you know…"

Kate suddenly slapped him, hard. Nate blinked, rubbing his face, and her look hardened as she crossed her arms. Everything went silent for a moment.

"So… 'show me your boobs' huh?" She said, "You pig! I wish you would've died!"

"Ouch," said Nate, rubbing his face and smiling, "Nice to see you, too."

"So, uh, you have any ideas?" said Seth.

"Some wheels," said Nate, "I caught up to you guys in a few days. This is ridiculous, you guys are slowing ME down."

"He's got a point," said Kate, walking away, "Our pace has been… sludgy, ya? Ve need to move on, much faster."

"So, what do you suggest?" asked Shatner, "We check every vehicle along the way for working parts? Fix one up? Something?"

"One of these places is bound to have a working vehicle," said Nate, walking past Pandora before stopping, and smiling as he grabbed his hat off his head, "Hey, thanks Beatle! I was wondering where this went."

"Yeah… no problem," said Pandora, a little disappointed.

"Pandora held onto that for you," said Kate, continuing to walk down the road.

"Yeah, thanks," said Nate, smiling at Pandora as he replaced his hat on his head, and lifted up his goggles from his eyes, "Trust me, it means a lot."

"So, what do you suggest?" asked Shatner, "We steal some poor colonies vehicle?"

"No, we go searching," said Nate, "Those vehicles came from somewhere, dude."

"Alright," said Shatner, now going with the group as they began to move down the road, "So what do you suggest? We're just going to head to a city and take what we can?"

"It'll take us years to get there at the rate we're going," said Nate, "We've been talking about this for ages, but now we need action. We need some wheels."

"Anyone here a mechanic?" said Shatner, "No, I don't think so. We have to think about it."

"Good, plenty of time to think on the run," said Nate, switching into an English accent, "Come on, then. Chop, Chop. Hurry, now, lads!"

Shatner sighed, but smiled behind Nate's back. No one admitted it then, but they were glad he was back.


	28. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

A snap could be heard, and Iawn jumped a little in his spot. Turning around, Nate and Iawn spotted Pandora as he trudged up the hill to them.

"You guys see anything?" he asked, getting low to the ground and continuing his crawl towards them, "How does it look?"

"Empty," Spat Nate, "The entire thing is empty."

He turned around, furrowing his brow, "Just like the other places we've hit. It's clearly been inhabited but the whole thing is EMPTY!"

Pandora sighed, looking down at the empty colony. It wasn't the first they had found in the days in which they walked on, endlessly, but it did look like the most inhabited. Crude walls were constructed, as well as fences. Boarded up houses and scrapped up cars. The group feared the stripped-down vehicles meant there were none left, but Nate held onto hope that a few of them were kept and cared for.

"So, time to approach?" asked Pandora.

"I don't know, Beatle," said Nate, "I just don't know…"

"Yeah, yeah, like you keep saying," said Iawn, "Next you'll mumble, 'But let's keep movin' and we'll be on our way."

"You learn quick, Iawn," said Nate, "So let's load up and head in."

Nate stood, jogging down the hill with Pandora and Iawn in tow. They made their way to the road, then towards where Shatner, Kate, and Seth had set up a small bunker, watching over the road into the town. They ducked down as they came closer.

"I'm telling you, we've been watching it for hours and there isn't as much as a puff of smoke or a guard pissing," said Nate, "The place is like the rest. Deserted."

"Fine, then it's time to head in," said Shatner, "Iawn, go get the others."

"Right," said Iawn, running off into the other direction, going to where they had set up a little makeshift camp.

Nate nodded, smiling, "Now's out chance, go!"

Nate took off at a light jog, heading towards the town. Pandora, Shatner, and Seth were right behind them, with Kate watching their rear and staying a few paces back. It didn't take them long to reach the "front gates" into the city, and Nate passed them without a second thought. He immediately raised his rifle and scanned the area.

They had eventually found out how to un-jam Nate's rifle shortly after their reunion. When questioned about the events following Nate's fall, Nate dodged the questions hastily, only saying he was glad he had his pistol. Kevin brought up the fact Nate also had a shotgun tucked away into his bag, and Nate just stayed quiet on the subject afterwards.

Now he kept his shotgun closer-at hand, so that he didn't forget about it. Nate was quick on his feet, sweeping to house to roof to mailbox to window. The others slowed down behind him, sweeping the buildings carefully.

Seth and Kate went off to the right, peeking into house windows and heading off around corners. Pandora and Nate went to the left, kicking open garage doors and checking in barns. Shatner stayed on the middle street, eyeing the place. He frowned… dead, all of them, without any cause or care. Shatner shook his head.

Ever since the decision to find a vehicle, they had been finding settlements like this. Abandoned, or attacked, it was all the same story. Either there were burnt houses, signs of battles, and mass graves, or there were drawings in blood, mass suicides, or clues of abandonment. Letters to loved ones, cryptic messages, or warnings to grave robbers often littered the walls of the buildings left behind.

It wasn't long before they all came back together on the other side, and began heading back through, checking the garages and parking-lot like places. During this time, the others came running in, screaming battle cries and rolling on the ground like action stars.

"You guys a real smooth," said Seth, "If we were in an ambush, you guys would've thrown yourselves right into the fray."

"Yeah, let's kick but!" yelled Charles.

"Like an action movie!" said Andy, smiling.

"Where's Kevin?" asked Shatner, "I thought he was watching…"

Shatner trailed off as Kevin walked in, an upset look on his face.

"There is NO way I'm running that," said Kevin at the look Shatner gave him, "If you think I'd chase after these nutters into an obvious ambush scenario you're stock-mad!"

"Good boy," said Seth, smiling, "Did I ever mention I like him?"

"Look, there's an obvious motor pool over there," said Kate, "Now whoever was here before us was obviously using vehicles, and a lot of them. Now they couldn't've taken them all. Span out and look around, we HAVE to find these vehicles."

The group then spread out, kicking open doors into houses for clues and searching the few garages and back of houses there were for a vehicle. Nate, like a statue of a curious man, was just left in the street, staring off into nothingness. After a few minutes, Shatner noticed Nate's gazed, and approached him about it. Nate was just staring, he seemed vague. Shatner tried to see what he was staring at, but all he saw were the houses, the horizon, the clouds.

"What's the matter with you?" Shatner asked, waving his hand in front of Nate's face, "You ok?"

"That house, right there," said Nate, pointing, "What do you see?"

"It's, just a house," said Shatner.

Nate had pointed to one of the houses in the center of the settlement. There wasn't anything special on it to his eyes. Porch, boarded up windows and door, peeling paint, holes in the roof. Shatner shrugged, turning to Nate.

"You see that flag?" said Nate.

Shatner turned, he did. There was a very small flag on the porch, one that could barely be seen. It's color was faded, and bullet holes were in it. Shatner shrugged.

"It's us," said Nate, "Look, it's an American Flag, Shatner. An American flag."

Shatner's eyes opened in amazement. Nate was right, the flag was American. The yellowed and pink strips could be seen where red and white once blazed and the blue had faded as well, the stars almost non-existent at all. Shatner smiled a little, nodding.

"Well, look at that," he said, nodding, "Didn't expect to see that out here."

"No… no you didn't," said Nate, nodding, "Let's go check it out."

"What? Why?" asked Shatner, "We have more important things then checking out a flag."

"Not the flag, the house," said Nate, "Let's check out the damn house, dude."

"What for, think there's a Chevy in there?" asked Shatner, "We need to be finding a vehicle, not checking out random houses."

"There's a frickin' American flag out here in the middle of… frickin… Europe land and we're just gonna leave it?" said Nate, almost laughing, "Hell no, dude. I'm checking it out."

Nate began walking towards the house, almost as if in a slight daze. Shatner rolled his eyes, sighing.

"Fine, go check it out. But you're wasting time," said Shatner, "Aren't you always trying to keep us moving or some stupid crap… Gosh!"

Nate ignored him as he continued towards the house.

Shatner rolled his eyes, and decided to follow Nate inside. Nate was just starting up onto the small wooden porch, and he examined the flag, before raising his rifle and walking inside.

Inside, Nate was un-impressed. It didn't look any different from some other houses. An old yellowed couch sat in the living room, which was the first room in the house. An old TV was sitting in the corner, pushed aside with time and used as a shelf. There were old pictures on the wall, and tools and a few empty weapon racks were the only things that felt out of place.

Nate's face furrowed, and he approached The end of the room. A body was lying on the staircase at the end of the room. Dried out, and dusty, Nate could plainly see four bullet holes in the bloody shirt of the victim. The victim looked like an older, middle-aged man. Nate didn't say anything, even as he heard Shatner walk up behind him, gasping at the body.

"This is the only body we've found yet," said Shatner.

"He was shot," said Nate.

"Way to pick out the obvious," said Seth from behind them.

Shatner turned around, the others were now making their way in, looking around the house. Shatner questioned each one with his gaze, but it was Kate who frowned, and shook her head, signaling their loss at another settlement.

"Ok," said Shatner, "So, now what? Onto the next one?"

"We can't keep this up," said Fred, "We're wasting time to save time!"

"And what happens if we DO find a settlement with people," said Seth.

"Or one with a working vehicle," Iawn said, as he jumped on the couch.

"Or both," said Kate, "When ve finally find one, and there are people there, will we be able to take 'nein' as an answer? Or will we become no better then those raiders."

"We're not raiders," said Shatner.

"But you know the same as I," argued Kevin, "When we find a working vehicle, we're not going to want to let it go."

"So… we'll work around it," said Shatner, "Let's not lose hope, not now."

"He was murdered," said Nate, breaking the conversation, "Shot in the back, four times. He had a pistol, in his hand, there."

Everyone turned to see what he was talking about, and Nate stood up.

"So… now he lies here… alone," said Nate, sighing.

Suddenly, Pandora gasped, and held his hand to his mouth. Everyone looked at him, and his eyes widened.

"Oh no…" he said, slowly turning to Nate, "I am… so sorry."

Nate was confused, and he looked to Shatner. Shatner walked to Pandora, as if to ask him a question quietly. Before he had time, Pandora pointed into a side room Nate had missed on his way in, and Shatner's own eyes scanned the room, before he sighed himself.

"This… is not good," he said, looking at Nate.

The entire room looked into the secret room, before turning to Nate. Nate finally could not take it, and he walked over to the room.

"What?" Nate said, as he rounded the corner and stared into the room, getting a little angry that everyone was looking at him.

Nate examined the room, before his eyes slowly widened, and his mouth slit open, in awe. Nate, very slowly, allowed his hands to drop to his side, his rifle falling to the ground. Shatner walked forward to pat Nate's shoulder, but Nate shrugged it off, walking into the room.

Cans crunched under Nate's feet, and he continued, awkwardly, into the room. It was an old kitchen, an open refrigerator, yellowed cabinets, an old gas stove oven in one corner. The light hanging up on the ceiling was removed years back. None of this, though, could hold Nate's eye for a second.

Everywhere he looked, there were cans. Big cans, small cans, crushed cans, and new cans. They littered the floor, piled up on the counters and in the fridge. Nate crushed them as he walked into, and around the room. Each one was open, each one old and loosing its color, and each and every one was green. Nate knocked over a tower of them when he snatched one from the bottom, staring at it in a dreamlike state. On the side of the can, the words "Mountain Dew" still shined brightly.

"Ok," whispered Shatner, "Now… now it's bad."

Nate looked around, allowing the can in his hand to drop to the ground. He nodded his head, looking around again. Slowly, he began to get more animated. He began to grab cans, shaking them, confirming they were empty, before throwing them to the ground. Soon, he became more frantic, thrashing about, knocking over entire stacks of cans, stomping on the on the ground and kicking them.

Nate's anger grew as he mumbled and stuttered with strange jumbled up words, and he eventually just thrashed about, having some sort of temper tantrum. Shatner sighed, and just allowed him to have his moment, the others looking on in horror.

Nate's eyes lit with fire as he finally slowed down enough to look around, his anger about to pop, his face turned a deep, deep red.

"Empty," he said, almost spitting it through his teeth, "Empty… Empty! They are all… EMPTY! EMPTY! Mother… F***in' EMPTY!"

Nate pulled out his revolver, shooting into a pile of cans, sending them everywhere. The gunshot made the group in the next room to jump in surprise, and they jumped as he shot another pile, then he began to fire randomly into the mass amount of cans on the floor, stomping around and eventually jumping on the ground, crushing all the cans he could.

"I don't believe it!" he continued to yell, "Empty! Empty! EMPTY!"

He eventually just stood there, pulling the trigger wildly on an empty revolver. Shatner sighed once more, watching as Nate slowly broke in himself, and he calmed back down, a few tears running down his face. He quietly mumbled the word "empty" to himself over and over.

"Feel better?" yelled Andy from the porch, where he had decided to take refuge.

"I… don't… believe it!" Nate spat, walking out of the kitchen, absolutely shocked, "I just can't… believe this… this is TERRIBLE!"

"It's only a drink," scoffed Leo, "No need for a fuss."

His playful laughter was silenced by a murderous glare from Nate, and he sat on the couch once more, next to a few others. Nate paced in the living room, his anger not diminishing with time.

"That sucks," said Pandora, "I'm… sorry?"

"Well, now what," said Seth, "No vehicle, and now one of ours has lost it."

"I didn't lose anything," yelled Nate, "I never had the damn soda to BEGIN with. Not a single… DROP left!"

Nate's anger boiled to a point again, and he lashed out with his foot, his boot making a firm contact with the television screen in the corner. It didn't break, but he had hit it with anough force to knock over a vase of withered flowers. It his the floor, hard, and smashed.

"Damn…. TV," spat Nate.

"Feel better?" asked Shatner, crossing his arms, "Now grow up. It's just some soda. You don't honestly think that-"

"Look in there, Shatner!" yelled Nate, "Look with your EYES! Obviously there's a chance that I might once again sip the Dew of the holy mountain."

"Seriously," mumbled Fred.

"Hey," said Nate, pointing at him, "Don't judge me, dude. I will… punch you in the face!"

"How mature," said Shatner in a sigh.

Iawn raised a remote control he had found on the couch and pointed it at the TV, hitting the power button. Suddenly, the old screen came to life, the tubes firing up and the speakers fizzing to life. This actually made Nate and Kate, the two closest to the TV, jump away from it slightly in surprise. Iawn smiled, as if he had found some lost treasure, and glowed in pride.

"It works," he announced.

After some fuzzing, something began to appear on the screen, and an old video began to play. An old man with graying hair, combed backwards (showing some minor balding) appeared on the screen, wearing a button down shirt and some suspenders. He sat in an old chair, a pair of glasses on his head. He sat straight, looking into the camera. Nate knelt down at Shatner's pushing, they gazed at the screen.

"A video?" asked Shatner quietly, not really asking it to anyone in-particular.

"Hello," said the man on the screen, adjusting his legs so they were crossed in a respectable manner, "If you are viewing this, then I am dead, and my house quiet possibly burnt down or heavily damaged."

"Hey, that's the dead guy," said Kevin, pointing at the body by the stairs.

"Well, he was right about one thing," said Nate, "But his house is fine."

"If that is the case, listen closely," said the man, "My name is Lonnardo De Fetch. Despite my name, I am an American, born and raised. My annesestry does go back to Italian, but it's not important. Most folks just call me 'Lon' anyway. I, at one point, was a very powerful man."

"I never heard of you," said Nate, "Can't be too powerful."

"Shhh!" hushed Kate, "Damn Americans, always talking during movies."

"Anyway, after the bombs fell and the guns stopped firing, most of the world tried to resettle down. I, on the other hand, was stuck, here, in Croatia during one of my business meetings," continued the older man, "And helped build, what I assume to be, one of the last pockets of human civilization in the world. But these… blasted individuals I'm stuck with. They just don't GET it. They're barbarians, they're foolish, they're young, and they're very ungrateful! All I've ever tried to do was build this community up. Make it stronger, make it more modern, make it survive. All these… miserable people want is to fight and steal and play and party. The fools…"

"Ten bucks he was killed by one of these Ukrainians," said Nate.

"We're not in the Ukraine," said Shatner, "How could he-"

"Shhh," hushed Kate, "What the hell."

"Anyway, a young man who I've grown fond of… he's rising up against me. I fear I don't have much time left. I've done a very radical, and upsetting, move to try and save humanity, to save us," Continued the man, "Recently, I've accepted the fact that I will very well die here, and by their hand. So, my last few orders as leader have been radical, but have been followed to the 'T'. I have confiscated all the weapons I could, even the ones from our guards, and have hidden them. I looks whatever we had, and we had a lot. Machine guns, pistols, grenades, rockets, mines, dynamite… I hid them all."

"Whoa," said a few of the group, and everyone leaned forward.

"Yeah?" mumbled Nate, "You got my attention."

"The others… they think I've just horded them in this house of mine for myself," said the man, "They think I'm going insane, and that I am power hungry. No… I'm the most sane man on the planet. Guns and bombs… they've destroyed this world… I won't let it happen again."

"Oh, no," said Seth, "He didn't destroy them did he?"

"As fellow Americans, and I hope that is what you are, I leave them in your care, but on one condition," Said the man, "I want them used as protection, and to better our world, not destroy another. God knows what other… creatures have formed out there since this recording. So… I, Lon De Fetch, leave the secret to its location to true Americans. So… all true Americans are movie buffs, so you should know this: Below my house is an elaborate and very, very high-tech safe I had installed pre-war. Since the explosion, I have filled it with everything I considered valuable. My personal effects, clothes, pieces of history, treasure and money. Most importantly, though, this is where I have stashed the weapons of my colony."

"Great," said Nate, jumping up, "Let's find the basement, that wasn't too hard."

"Do not move, Eager McBeaver," said the man on the television, Nate blushing as if he was being chastised, "I am no fool. I have build a series of mechanisms to code and safeguard the vault. So, I hope you know your movies, Americans. Here's my clue to you: This is the Last Crusade, my friends, and if you want to rebuild this world, all weapons much be cleansed from it."

"What?" said Kevin, "That's not a clue!"

"Now what…" mumbled Leo.

"And, screw you, you Croatian Sons of bitches!" yelled the old man, shaking his fist, "All I wanted to do was help you, and you never liked anything I did. If you will finally listen to me, you'll survive without guns. If not: Adios, muchachos! Haha!"

The screen began to wave, and fuzzed out on an old man, waving and smiling in to the camera. The TV shut off, and the group was left, staring at a dark screen.

"Well now," said Iawn, "He was quiet crazy."

"We need those guns," burst Fred, his eyes wide.

"Whoa, look who's finally looking for violence," said Nate.

"I'm done running through towns with a stick or a knife," Fred continued, "I was a gun."

"Me too," said Charles, "My crossbow won't do crap!"

"We could all use better weaponry," said Nate, "But let's… think about this… there's truth in his words."

"Let's all calm down," said Shatner, "What's to say the other colonists didn't already just open the vault and retake their weapons?"

"They aren't here," said Pandora.

"But the old man was shot," said Seth, "So, they might be gone."

"Oh… my… Gosh," said Nate, suddenly wide-eyed and holding out his hands.

"What?" asked Shatner.

Nate ran his fingers along the brim of his fedora, and he smiled a cocky smile at the group, standing a little straighter.

"This, is the Last Crusade," repeated Nate, "It's 'The Last Crusade'. Indiana Jones Three! I know it!"

"Oh… Indiana Jones," said Kevin, "I get it, and you have the hat…"

"Ok, so what do you think?" said Shatner.

"I can get in," said Nate, "Now let's go find that vault! We got some guns to get!"


End file.
